tw; for blood and marital rape. Read at your own risk.

AN: I've been wanting to do a bandit au for so long and just never had any ideas until Clare gave me a prompt kind of thing and I decided to change it into a multi-chapter. This part is obviously stablequeen but as it goes on, it will become more outlawqueen. Hope you like it :)

Her eyes ache to close as she just stares at the canopy above her bed.

She doesn't sleep. Not anymore. Instead, just lies awake, staring but not looking, hearing but not listening. She just lies there, eyes aching, wishing she could fall asleep and not be plagued with any dreams.

But that wouldn't happen. Not anymore.

Images filter into her mind. Daniel's body turning blue as he struggled to stand, his blood running down her mother's wrist, staining her hand as she squeezed and squeezed and squeezed until there was nothing left but a dead body and a squashed muscle.

She moves on her side, fast, the bed creaking as she does so, shutting her eyes tight against the images that had formed above her. But they don't leave her. Even with her eyes shut she can still see them, playing on my mind. She just wants to sleep. Is that really too much to ask?

Sometimes, it isn't Daniel she sees. Sometimes it's of him, that man- King- that asked to marry her. His cold hands ghosting across her skin, tugging on her laces, pushing her down. And she's crying, can feel the salty tears on her face even in her dreams, telling him to stop, that it hurts. But he just tells her that this is what she's made for, that it's her duty and she should start getting used to it. And she stops protesting, just muffles her face into the covers and wishes for it to be over.

And that's when she wakes up. Cold, in a dark bedchamber, her cheeks wet. She rolls onto her side, curls herself up into a ball under the covers and stays awake the rest of the night.

It's better not to sleep, she tells herself. She can't be tormented then.

But she still is. Lying here, staring. She's still being tormented. They'll never leave her alone.

You could run.

She'd thought the same when she'd came running to Daniel, after her engagement. She could run. They could run. Leave and never return and live...happily ever after. Look how that turned out.

She turns onto her back, looks out of the window through the gap. She can't see anything, it's pitch black, but she stares anyway, watching the shadows move and jump around.

She can't run. She's stuck here. Even if she tried, Mother would just pull her back. Besides, it'll mean having to go back to the stables, and she can't do that. Not yet.

You can leave.

She shuts her eyes again. Numbing every thought in her brain.

Just grab Rocinante and go.

It didn't work.

Ride out anywhere, live anywhere. You don't need to be Queen. Mother won't find you. Not if you left the kingdom, the Forest…

She perks up at that. She could get on a ship, sail to another land, live there. It would be impossible for Mother to find her. There's too many kingdoms, too many lands.

I can leave.

But it would mean having to go back to the stables. Could she really do that? Walk into the place that reminded her so much of Daniel? Reminded her of what happened? She guesses she'd have to find out.

…:...:...

She doesn't know how long she's been standing here for. Minutes. Hours. It's beginning to get light outside. She has to make her decision now. Run or go back. Run or go back. Run or go back…

She wants to run. Wants to run so badly but her feet won't move, they're stuck to the ground...like one of Mother's frozen spells she used to put on her. She can't move. Can't open that door. But she wants to. Oh god, how much she wants to.

"Go on, Regina."

Her eyes dart around at the sound of the voice. Her heart thumping loudly against her chest as her hands begin to sweat. Someone's here. Nobody's supposed to be here. She's been found, they're gonna drag her back, back to her mother and then…

"Just open the door."

He comes into view. The person and Regina's sure she's dreaming. He isn't here, he can't be here.

But he is. Standing by the stable door is Daniel, healthy, standing, alive…

"Just open the door." he repeats, but Regina's shaking her head.

"You're not real." she cries, tears forming. "You're not there. You're…" She can't say the word. Won't say the word. It's too real.

"It doesn't matter. I'm here, right now. I'm always here. Just open the door and leave, Regina."

She's still shaking her head, fisting her hands into the cloak she wears. She can't.

"Yes you can." he's telling her. "I can't do it for you, Regina. You need to. And I'll be here, every step of the way, I'll be here. Just open the door. For yourself. For me…"

She feels sick rise in her throat. The sun's coming out now, soon the castle will be waking, Mother will be waking. She need's to go now if she has any chance of escaping. So bile raising, head spinning, she makes that first step, legs feeling heavy, but the door is closer to her.

"That's it…" Daniel says and she can hear the smile in her voice. She finds herself smiling to, as she moves her other leg, quicker this time, each step coming quicker. He'd said those same words to her the first time she rode Rocinante.

"Just one more step, Regina." he's telling her and he's so close. The door is so close. And Regina wants nothing more than to fall into him, wrap herself around him and wake up and this all just be a dream.

Her heart's thumping, arms like lead as she reaches out and grasps that brass handle, it's rusty and cold, feels the jagged bits digging into her skin. This is it. This is it…

She pulls at the handle, the door easily opening and...nothing. There's nothing. She's numbed herself against every feeling she could possibly have about this place.

Her eyes glance around, jumping from empty stable to empty stable, looking past Daniel's horse- Susie- eyes zoning in on Rocinante's stall.

With a deep breath in, she walks into the stable, eyes straight ahead as she makes her way over to Rocinante. She doesn't look down, even as she passes the spot where it all happened. Just unlocks the stall door, the horse waking as she grabs the reins hanging up and leads Rocinante outside.

The sun is up. Daniel is gone, she realises, glancing around the area. He wasn't really there. It was just her imagination. Still, she's still left with a little bit of sadness and a hope that maybe he'll return again.

As she begins fixing the reins, she looks up at the castle, at her home, and there's a brief moment where she wonders what will happen once they realise she isn't in her bed, imagines the servants all rushing around, wondering what to tell her mother and father. How would they react? Mother would be furious, Regina knows that much, would probably send out a search party instantly, not letting word go out to the King that his bride is missing. She was supposed to get married today.

But what about Father? What would he do? Would he understand, know why she did it? Or would he just be filled with sadness? Disappointment? Maybe even guilt?

She could stick around the find out, she thinks, but then that gives Mother and her search party more time to find her. No, she'll comfort herself with the first option. Father will understand why she left. Maybe one day, they'll be able to reunite. When all this is over. If it will ever be over.

With once last glance, she climbs onto Rocinante, digging her heels into the horse they begin to trot towards the gate, gathering up speed as Daniel watches on before he disappears with a blow of the crisp morning wind.

Tell me what you think. Do you like it? Should I carry it on? All that jazz...