Rainlight: [gets up on stage] I dedicate this story to my sister, Nightfall, who gave me the idea for it. Total and pure hilarious insanity.
Heero: Oh GOD!! not again!!! [he smacks his forehead]
Wufei: Why can't you just leave us alone onnas? First Bulls and now this? [he cowers behind Heero because he is still afraid from Rainlight in the first fic]
Nightfall [cartwheels onto the stage from her Harry Potter Fanfics] This was too funny not to do.
Rainlight: Oh yeah! when she told me the idea....I just about pissed myself laughing.
Nightfall: So you brayed like a mule instead. [the G-Boys snicker, then they notice that Rainlight and Nightfall aren't paying attention to them and begin to sneak away.]
Rainlight: HEY!! Be nice I am letting you co-write this!! [She glares at Nightfall]
Nightfall: [noticing that the boys are trying to escape] Oh no you don't!!! [she stops them with a wave of her magic pen] God, I love this thing!!
Duo: Let us go!! OZ was nicer than you two!!
Trowa: .............!!
Quatra:[Diplomatically] I think that we should just resign ourselves to our fate. We're obviously not going to get out of it.
Rainlight: NOPE [Grins evilly at Nightfall]
Nightfall: hehehe [Grins evilly back]
Wufei: This is...............
Rainlight, Nightfall and Wufei :INJUSTICE!!! [ the authoresses collapse into a fit of giggles]
[The pilots sweatdrop]
Nightfall: You'll be saying that a lot louder, Wufei, when you find out what you're doing.
[The pilots look confused and a little (well, VERY) afraid]
Rainlight: Time to get this fic on the road.
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THE GUNDAM PEOPLE by RAINLIGHT AND NIGHTFALL
In an office we find Zechs sitting behind a rather large oak desk. He is tapping a pen on the surface. In front of him are the G-boys. Quatra and Trowa are sitting in chairs. Heero is leaning against the door. Wufei is standing beside Quatra, his arms crossed over his chest. Duo is sitting on the edge of Zechs' desk.
Zechs: Do you all know why I called you in here today?
Duo: Well if we knew that, we wouldn't be here would we?
Heero steps forward from his leaning position and gives Duo's braid a good hard yank. Duo clutches his head in pain.
Duo: What did you do that for? [rubs his head]
Heero: [death glares at Duo]
Zechs: Well I have a very good reason for why I asked you in here. [he scratches his head] It really is a very good reason.......
Wufei: Oh just get on with it Marquis!! Your idle chatter is dishonorable!!
Duo: Stop interrupting him, Wu-man, Then he'll get on with it.
Wufei: [draws his big-ass sword and points it at Duo] DON'T call me that Maxwell. Anyway you interrupted him the first time.
Quatra: Both of you, STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone in the office looks at the normally composed Quatra and then at each other. They're faces are reflecting shocked and concerned emotions at his outburst. They all shift a few inches from the Arabian boy.
Zechs: Um........anyway. Good news and Bad news. Bad news, we are running out of money to pay you guys. [The pilots sweatdrop] The good news, however, is that I was able to find something that will pay cash.
Nightfall and Rainlight are suddenly heard laughing from Authorland. Since the Boys have already met the two crazy authors they are not phased. Zechs on the other hand doesn't know where the strange (and disturbing) laughter is coming from. He hides under his desk.
Nightfall: Get some popcorn!! Here it comes!!
Rainlight: SHHHH!! Nightfall you are distracting the readers.
They both decide, for the convenience of the readers, to be more quiet. Zechs comes out from under his desk once they are quiet. He tries to pretend he was looking for a pen he had dropped. The boys roll their eyes and shake their heads.
Heero: So........what is your "great" idea?
Zechs: A recruitment video.
Pilots: A WHAT?????
Zechs: Well, enlistment for the Preventers is at an all time low. And this will be a snazzy new way to encourage new young people to join up with us.
Trowa: Snazzy??
Zechs: Yes, snazzy. But because we are so low on funds.... we'll be doing it ourselves.
Heero: This has got to be one of your more dumber ideas Zechs.
Trowa: Yeah it's right up there with trying to drop Libra onto the Earth.
Zechs: Actually this wasn't my idea.....it was Sally's. By the way she will be in charge of costumes and choreography.
Wufei: I am NOT going to do it if some onna came up with it.
Zechs: [trying to look more authoritative] You will if you want to keep your jobs. I'm going to be directing. [he looks proud] Noin is going to be my lackie. Hilde will be doing the camera work. Relena and Dorothy will be covering make-up.
Heero and Quatra look at each other, clutch their chests and pale noticeably at this last revelation.
Heero: Are you sure that it's a good idea to let those two near us with make-up?
Zechs: No, not really. However, Relena gave me her puppy-dog eyes and begged me to let her do it. [he stands up and gestures for them to leave] Now I want you all to be at the sound stage bright and early at 7am, tomorrow. You'll find out what you will be doing, exactly, then.
The pilots leave Zechs' office with varying degrees of apprehension about this new assignment. Quatra keeps telling them to look on the bright side. Wufei yells something about injustice and onnas, while Heero and Trowa remain silent. Duo just jokes and pokes fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning at 7am Zechs is beginning to get impatient about the location of the G-boys. They are for the most part NOT HERE!!. The aggravation that Zechs is feeling about this fact can be seen in the little vein that is popping out on his left temple. Zechs, who is wearing a tight black shirt, red scarf knotted about his neck, a beret and puffy director pants, sits down in his folding director chair.
Zechs: [his face turns red] Where are they??!!?? I remember specifying 7AM!!!! [he leaps out of the chair and begins to pace madly.
Noin: Would you like some coffee and a doughnut to calm your nerves? [goes to the conveniently placed table and gets said coffee and doughnut]
Zechs: Well, [he takes aforementioned coffee and doughnut from Noin and pouts] They'd better get here soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is now 8am. Zechs has, at this point, now worked himself into a very pissed off mood. The five boys finally enter the sound stage. A shaken Quatra clutching a set of keys is followed by Duo, Trowa and Wufei. They are holding onto a frantically-trying-to-get-away-or-kill-himself Heero.
Zechs: [throws his coffee to the ground which Noin wipes up] Where the HELL have you been?? I said SEVEN in the morning NOT EIGHT!!!!! SEVEN!!!!!
Duo: We had a hard time trying to get Heero into the car! Then he kept trying to escape at every intersection. Quatra here had to run every red light and stop sign to stop him from leaping out of the car.
Heero: [Sees Relena next to the make-up table] LEMME GO!!! NOOOO!!!! [he claws at the ground in an effort to escape again]
Zechs: [Raises an eyebrow at Heero] Um.......Do you have any way to stop him? I need all of you to be able to do this.
Duo: Oh yeah, hang on a sec. Heero, just think of it as a mission.
Heero [stops struggling and stands stiffly at the word "mission"] Mission Accepted.
The rest of the people in the vacinity who witnessed this so called miracle, fall over.
Quatre [Glares at Duo] couldn't you have done that BEFORE we left??
Duo: Yeah...but this way was much more fun.
The others sweatdrop. Sally appears next to Zechs holding a small clipboard. She motions to the pilots.
Sally: If you follow me now, I'll show you to your dressing rooms and give you your costumes. After you have dressed, you will head over to Relena and Dorothy for make-up.
They walk to a hallway which has five doors and a clothes rack. She points out the assigned dressing rooms and then moves closer to the rack of obscure costumes. Wufei looks at the rack with distain. Heero, who is still in his "perfect soldier" mode, makes no expression. The rest eye the rack warily.
Trowa: Um...exactly what are we supposed to be doing for this video?
Sally: You'll be doing a parody of the Village People
Trowa: The who????
Sally: Nevermind, you'll see. [whips out her clipboard and studies it] Okay!! [ she takes the first hanger, which has a sailor suit on it] Heero, your "mission' is to be the Sailor.
Heero: [no expression] Mission Accepted [he goes into his dressing room]
Sally: Duo [gives him a police uniform] you're the Cop.
Duo: KICK ASS!! [runs gleefully into his dressing room]
The others roll their eyes.
Sally: Trowa [hands him another costume] you're the Construction Worker.
Trowa: But....but my hair won't fit under this [gestures to the hard hat and backs away]
Sally turns Trowa around and boots him in the ass into his dressing room. She then throws the costume in after him and slams the door shut. The remaining two pilots look at Sally and begin to edge away.
Sally: Quatra, you're the Biker Dude. [hands the hanger loaded with leather to Quatra]
Quatra: [breaks into a HUGE smile] WOW thanks Sally!! [skips merrily into his dressing room]
Sally takes the remaining costume off the rack and hold it up for Wufei. He eyes it with disgust and then shoots his own brand of death glares at the two authors hiding in Authorland. He turns back to Sally who is still holding the costume.
Wufei: What is this, onna? It looks like a pile of feathers and a handkerchief.
Sally: No its a Headdress and a Loincloth..........you're the Indian.[she shoves him into his room before he can protest]
A few minutes later the G-boys begin to emerge. Heero is first. He is wearing the navy blue uniform with a white sailor's tie and a white sailors hat. Sally looks him over, turns him around and then nods her approval.
Sally: Very good.
Heero: hn............
Duo then bursts out of his room. He is in his cop uniform and madly waving the riot stick around as he runs circles around Heero and Sally.
Duo: Muah hahahahahahaha!! Shinigami gets to be the COP!! [nearly beans Heero and Sally with the riot stick]
Heero: [Death glares]
Sally: Very nice Duo. You're certainly.......um.......enthusiastic about it. [Writes get rid of riot stick on her clipboard]
Trowa exits his room. He is wearing tight jeans and a white muscle shirt and carrying the hard hat. Sally crosses her arms and frowns at him.
Sally: Trowa! You're supposed to be wearing that! [points to the hat]
Trowa: [Stubbornly] It won't fit.
Sally walks over to Trowa and grabs the hat from him. She looks at it for a moment and then jams it down on his head. Then she hands him a pair of mirror sunglasses.
Sally: Put these on... I forgot to give them to you.
Somehow, much to Sally's, the pilots, and the authoresses' surprise, Trowa manages to put them on under his bangs which are now plastered to his face because of the hardhat.
Duo: how DID you do that?
Trowa: I don't know.
Quatra, our favorite Arabian, comes strutting out of his room clad head to toe in tight black leather. He does a model, catwalk, spin in front of the others.
Heero, Duo & Trowa: ................[blink].................
They look at Sally, who shrugs and then they look back at Quatra who is still giddy about the leather.
Heero, Duo & Trowa:.......Okay then.
So there they were. Heero, the sailor. Duo, the cop. Trowa the construction worker. Quatra the Biker Dude. Plus there was Sally. They all waited for Wufei to make his entrance. And they waited and waited. Fifteen minutes later they were still waiting. Finally Sally goes up to Wufei's door and knocks.
Sally: Wufei! What's taking so long? You only had 2 things to put on!!
Wufei:[from in his room] I'm.... not.....coming .....out
Sally: Wufei! Get out here!
Wufei: NO!!
Sally: Wufei!
Wufei: I am not leaving this room, onna!
Sally: Get your ass out here now or I am going to let Duo paint Nataku pink with lime green polka dots.
Wufei: NO!!
Sally: and Fuzzy white bunny rabbits too!!
Duo [Tugs Sally's sleeve] Do I really get to do that? [excited with a big grin]
A few seconds of silence follow. Then the handle of Wufei's dressing room begins to turn, very, very, slowly. The door opens and........
TO BE CONTINUED
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Rainlight: NIGHTFALL!! No!! You know how much the readers hate cliffies!!
Nightfall: So? I happen to LOVE cliffies.
Duo: Awwww come on!! We wanted to see what Wufei was wearing.
[The other pilots nod]
Wufei:[still in his room] No, you don't!
Rainlight:[to the pilots] To bad, so sad...you'll just have to stay in stasis until Nightfall helps me write the next chapter.
Nightfall: Muah hahahahahahaha!!!! The power is all mine [Does an evil dance]
[The pilots are shoved back into stasis until the next chapter can be posted]
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DISCLAIMER TIME
Neither Nightfall nor myself own Gundam Wing and all the characters in it.
We do not own the Village People
Rainlight [to the readers] Who would WANT to own them anyway?
Nightfall:[smacks Rainlight] HEY!! I happen to like the Village People.
Sally: Me too!!
Rainlight: How did you get out of stasis?
Sally: dunno [leaves]
The magic pen belongs to Nightfall and contains all her Harry Potter fanfics (that's why it's magic)
Zechs' puffy director pants belong to costuming. The costumes that the G-boys are wearing belong to the Village people. We "borrowed" them. Somewhere the Village people are shivering because they have no clothes (THAT IS REALLY SCARY)
That's it. If you liked it REVIEW!!!! If you didn't REVIEW!!!! We will post more, no matter what you think.
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