Ok, another story. The title is inspired by the Motorhead song "Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers".
Anyway, this one will be pretty short, but I love the idea of a Rock of Ages/Hellraiser mashup. Especially because I didn't like Rock of Ages, and the Cenobites can definitely make a better movie. It's a bit cliché, but I hope it's still funny. And it's a MUSICAL!
P.S. At the end of the chapters I'll write the name of the songs and the artists, so you can find them more easily (and you can make your own original soundtrack).
xx
The girl adjusted her black hair and looked out of the window of the bus, even if it was almost night. She was leaving her town. Actually, she was running away from her family. A bunch of good Christians who thought rock was the Devil's music and all that crap. She hated them, and she was only waiting to get enough money to go away. She was going to Los Angeles, the place where all dreams came true. Where she could get a job and live without people telling her how to dress and that she couldn't buy an electric guitar. Even if right now she only had 20$ in her pockets...
She looked around. A fat guy who was sleeping, a woman reading a newspaper...those were the people who went to Los Angeles? How funny...
She snapped her fingers a couple of times and started singing...
Waiting for a street fight
Clock strikes midnight
I got a bad reputation
So what the hell
'Cause we ain't doin' nothing
I ain't never done before
So give me all you got, babe
I could use a little more
You try bringing me up
But you're dragging me down
What you got, I ain't looking for
She started pretending to play guitar, more and more excited. She grinned as she imagined all the guitar riffs, and suddenly she felt the stage all around her. And the crowd wanted her to play
I'm out for blood
I'm out for blood
Carried a switch blade
Since you were thirteen
You never won a battle
So don't fight with me
'Cause you ain't really nothing
Tried to tell you that before
So get your ammunition
'Cause I'm ready for war
Wasting my time
Frying my mind
And I am not
So, what you take me for?
I'm out for blood
I'm out for blood
I'm out for blood
I'm out for blood
I'm out for blood
She stopped. And the she noticed that everyone in the bus was staring at her, except that sleeping fat man.
"...'the hell are you looking at?" she glared at them, crossing her arms on her chest.
How much until Los Angeles? She was already tired of those people...falling asleep was not an option, and she had nothing else to do. She only had a couple of tapes, but the walkman was out of power. She wanted to curse herself for not buying new batteries.
After another couple of hours, she finally arrived. She needed to reach Sunset Strip. With her money she was sure she couldn't even get inside a club, but it didn't matter. Even a good fight with Los Angeles guys sounded terribly good. She wanted to live that rock life she always dreamt of, and she wasn't afraid of fighting for it.
She started walking, following the lights. She could feel the excitement running through her veins. Even the air was different from town...
"Hey, got some money to spare?" it was a guy, covered in black leather and with some blades that came out of his head. He was leaning against a wall, holding a guitar, and in front of him on the ground there was a hat with a few coins in it.
"You're asking the wrong person..." she laughed "I'm almost broke, too."
"Hey, "almost" is good." he laughed back "You're here to make it big, too?"
"Yes. And I'll make it." she nodded.
"I like the way you talk. You're a tough girl." he played a few notes on his guitar "Anyway, I'm Haloblades. Wanna hear some rock n roll as a welcome to the city of dreams?"
"Rock n roll is always good." she grinned.
Haloblades:
My Daddy was workin' nine to five
When my Momma was havin' me
By the time I was half alive
They knew what I was gonna be
But I left school and grew my hair
They didn't understand
They wanted me to be respected as
A doctor or a lawyer man
(But I had other plans)
Everyone, except from the girl:
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll star
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer
I'm gonna be a rock 'n' roll,
A rock 'n' roll star
Haloblades:
Well I worked real hard and bought myself
A rock 'n' roll guitar
I gotta be on top some day
I wanna be a star
I can see my name in lights
And I can see the queue
I got the devil in my blood
Tellin' me what to do
(And I'm all ears)
Everyone, and this time the girl sings, too:
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll star
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer
I'm gonna be a rock 'n' roll,
A rock 'n' roll star
(I hear it pays well)
The girl started walking on the street, looking at all the neon boards of the clubs. When she finally saw the huge spinning Cube, she knew she was in front of the Labyrinth, the most famous Rock N Roll club in Los Angeles (and probably in the whole US...). What surprised her was that on the opposite side of the road there was a large group of women yelling. They were holding signs with "Rock is the Devil's music!" "Rockstars worship Satan!" written on. It looked like a reunion of her mother's friends.
Haloblades laughed "See? Bunch of harpies. They're the most entertaining thing in Los Angeles. And they think they're going to win."
She shrugged, not scared of the fact that he followed her "They remind me of home. Disgusting."
Haloblades:
Well you can stick your nine to five livin'
And your collar and your tie
You can stick your moral standards
'Cause it's all a dirty lie
You can stick your golden handshake
And you can stick your silly rules
And all the other shit
That you teach to kids in school
('Cause I ain't no fool)
Everyone, dancing:
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer
I'm gonna be a rock 'n' roll star
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer
I'm gonna be a rock 'n' roll
A rock 'n' roll star
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll star
Gonna be a rock 'n' roll singer
I'm gonna be a rock 'n' roll
A rock 'n' roll star
Yes I are!
She glanced again at the Labyrinth.
"Go and show everyone how tough you are." Haloblades friendly punched her in the shoulder.
"Thanks, man." she started looking in her pocket, and then she gave him five dollars.
"No, come on...I can't accept it." he shook his head.
"Hey, if we meet again and I'm broke, you'll buy me a beer."
They shook hands, then he started walking away.
"How much to get inside?" she asked the bouncer.
"Girl, we don't play country music. Get back home." he replied.
She stared at him with hate. What he just said was the worst insult she ever got.
At least five people turned, shocked, when she kicked him in the face. He fell on the ground like a bag full of potatoes.
"And now, you asshole, repeat it with the remaining teeth." she kicked him again in the stomach.
The second bouncer tried to smile "It's...free..." he stuttered.
"Oh, nice..."
In the meanwhile, a fat man with sunglasses reached them and looked at the passed out bouncer, desperate.
"We pay bouncers, and even girls beat them. Listen..." he turned towards the girl "...woah. You look fine, sister..." he lowered his sunglasses and looked at her with his stitched eyes.
She was about to punch him, when a man appear near them and gently stopped her arm.
"Butterball, don't annoy girls." he looked at the fat man.
The girl stared at him. He was really tall (but still shorter than her...) and was wearing black leather clothes. The most fascinating thing was the grid carved in the skin of his head, and at every intersection of the cuts there was a nail.
"Can you tell me what happened?" he looked at her.
"The bouncer told me to go home because he thought I liked country music. I guess now he'll change his mind. And a few teeth."
He looked better at her clothes. Ripped jeans, a black top and a cowboy hat. Her feet were...well, they were horse clogs. And she had...a piece from a horse skull sewn on her face. She reminded of country stuff, but she looked slightly more dangerous.
"I'm deeply sorry if he insulted you. I'm Pinhead." he shook her hand "The owner of the Labyrinth. And this is the co-owner, Butterball." he pointed at the fat man.
"But now we'll need a new bouncer, boss." Butterball scratched his bald and sweaty head.
"We'll think about it. We never needed bouncers, Butterball. It's been the worst idea you ever had."
"I can take his place as a bouncer, if you need a new one...I like hard work." the girl tried to jump in the conversation.
"Well...actually, we never had a guy who helped us with instruments and amps when bands come here to play. If you don't mind a low pay, you're in. It could be more useful than a new bouncer, and you could even hear the music." Pinhead slightly smiled.
"I'm in." she nodded, without hesitation.
"Good. Even if...being a gentleman, I have to confess that "low pay" means "almost nothing". You're still in?" there was a few embarrassment on his face.
"Sure. As long as I get some beer and a place to sleep."
"This won't be a problem, we all sleep in the club. What's your name?"
"Merkova." they shook hands again.
xx
Lita Ford - Out For Blood
AC/DC - Rock N Roll Singer