AN: It's basically a rule that all Torchwood writers have to put a post-Countrycide story so here's mine. Told in Jack's POV.
He's still out there. I can hear him. Strange how things change. Before I would have been in my element. Cute young guy refusing to leave and me up here on my lonesome; hey I'm only human after all.
But so were they…
Those things that were willing and happily going to slaughter my team like halal animals; they weren't from some distant planet. They were as human as everyone else who walks this planet. Well; almost everyone. There were one or two humanoids who integrated with the public that we keep a very close eye on. Today's events run through my mind. Gwen had been shot. Tosh had a few bruises and was shaken. Myself and Owen escaped unharmed. But Ianto had been beaten, kicked, mentally tormented and was about to have his throat slit. I can't stop thinking what could have happened if I had just been two seconds late…
Only a month ago I was the one threatening to kill him. That was just anger. Anger because I lost a friend at Canary Wharf. Anger because he seemed unaware of the danger everyone was in. Anger because he betrayed all of us. Anger because he betrayed me. Then I lost Estelle and gave Jasmine to the faeries. While the others were furious and refused to speak to me; it was Ianto who sat with me that night as I drank all my whisky and spoke about Estelle and complained at the impossibility of saving everyone when it couldn't be done. The night is mainly a drunken haze but one memory sticks out the clearest.
"I'm a monster." I slur and down whisky straight from the bottle. Jack Daniels; the only man I need in my life.
"You aren't a monster. There are some terrible choices we need to make in life. You made the right choices and we made the wrong." Ianto replied.
"Says you," I retort, the alcohol making me childishly defensive.
"Listen to me, did Jasmine ask you to let her stay with her mum? Did she cry and plead with you to stop the faeries from taking her from everything she's ever known?" Ianto asks. I rack my brain.
"No, she… she wanted to go." I answer.
"Then it was her choice to make. You can't keep blaming yourself." Ianto reassures and suddenly squeezes my hand.
The next thing I know, we're kissing. I honestly don't know who started it but I honestly don't care. Everything fades away and all that matters is him. His lips on mine, his tongue in my mouth and our hands roaming over the other's body; we only stop when the need for air gets too much. We broke apart breathing hard. No one says anything. We've gone further than this before but not since…
"I should go, you should get some rest. Your head's going to hurt tomorrow." Ianto says and like that he's gone.
I shake my head and walk out of my office. Ianto is in the med bay, leaning heavily against the steps and placing an icepack against an impressive bruise against his ribs, wincing at the feeling of the cold ice against the injuries. His whole stomach is black and blue and there are heavy marks on his face. The worst sign of the attack is the thin red line stretching the whole way across his neck from one vein to the other. He's so young I realise. Only twenty three and seen Hell on Earth in all its forms. I walk over and take the icepack. He jumps and I realise I've clearly scared him.
"Hey, Ianto calm down it's me." I reassure, stepping into his line of sight and turning to find bandages and painkillers. Ianto calms slightly at the sight of me but he still is nervous. I can tell.
"Thank you,"
Those are the last words I expected to hear from Ianto. Thank you? For what? Getting him captured? Almost getting him killed? For royally screwing up this first field mission? Acting like a jerk because of that stupid game? I shrug and begin bandaging his ribs.
"When I'm done you can go home. Get some rest and allow those ribs to heal." I order as I hand over some painkillers for him to take. Ianto shakes his head and winces as the movement angers the tired muscles. When I'm finished we just look at each other in silence. Ianto reaches for his filthy t-shirt and I take it from his hands.
"Hang on a minute." I say and return to my office and jump down into the little bedroom I have down there. After a minute of rummaging I fish out a t-shirt and return to Ianto and hand it to him. "As much as I love the idea of you walking round the hub with no shirt on, you don't."
"Thanks," Ianto says and slowly puts it on. The painkillers seem to be having an effect as he doesn't wince as much with the movement this time. I help him over to the sofa and sit him down. A protective feeling rises in me and I hold onto Ianto as the exhaustion and stress and fear and terror of the day seems to finally get to him as he falls asleep. After what happened, I want to protect him from anything and everything.
It isn't long before the nightmares attack and he's screaming. I hold onto him tighter, reassure him and help him calm down and wake up. Wide petrified blue eyes open and fix on mine as I continue to reassure him. It's almost two in the morning but neither of us is tired. Despite my better judgement, my arrogance asks Ianto a question that's been overshadowed by the day's events.
"Why didn't you say you kissed me?"
Ianto hesitates before he answers. "They hate me enough as it is. The last thing I wanted to do was fuel that hatred by letting them think that I'm only here so you can have me when you want me. Besides, you kissed me; I didn't kiss you."
"They don't hate you." I reply.
"Don't lie; I've done enough of that for both of us." Ianto says.
"If you knew half the stuff I was hiding you wouldn't say that." I answer.
"I know you're immortal. Unless Torchwood has a need to hire someone every ten to twenty years called Jack Harkness." Ianto retorts and I can detect the sarcasm in the statement.
"Very clever." I tease.
"That I am. That doesn't stop me from being an idiot." Ianto muses.
"You did what you did because you loved her. That proves you're one of those rare people who really will do literally anything for the ones you love. Tosh told me how you allowed her to escape. That was so brave that it borderlines stupidity. Besides if anyone should apologise it's me. I thought I was being so clever by taking you along despite the fact you'd never been on a field mission and if I had just been two seconds later…" I trail off trying not to think about it.
"It seems like we're both idiots." Ianto finishes.
"Indeed we are and we idiots should stick together," I agree and we both fall asleep and my last thought is that maybe, just maybe, things were going to be okay.