A/N: Okay, I ship this, but I'm tired as fuck and ready to write more parody shit. Your brain cells may or may not get shat out your nose. Bear with me and review!
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One day the nations were all at a world meeting, the only place you ever seem to find them in. Actually, only four nations existed at the moment. Russia and America, our lovely protagonists, England, our evul antagonist, and Germany, who existed for the sole purpose of yelling in everyone's faces like the dickhead he is often portrayed as.
"So, liek, that's why Russia is a douche and I'm a hero!" Said America in his trademark idiotic voice of annoyingness. Russia smirked like the evul sexy tall dude he was. England just scoffed like a douchebag.
"Bloody hell, America. You are so bloody stupid. Bloody bloody bloody bloody bloody." Said England, continuing on like this until the word became nonsensical.
"Like, mein gott people shut your stupid faces!" Germany shouted, very understandibly annoyed with the rest of the characters. America just laughed like the dumbass we all know he is and England got all red in the face and Russia smirked, thinking unholy thoughts about his pipe of pain and a certain North American nation. (A/N: LIEK TOTS NOT CANADA TEEHEE FIGURE IT OUT FOR URSELF!;))
"But I'm a gentleman, that's why I'm always portrayed as a jerkass who grumps at people all the time! I am the pinnacle of politeness, how dare you silence me, heathen?!" England's eyebrows were taking up most of his face at this point from the sheer angle of the glare he was unleashing upon Germany, who had had enough of that day's dumbfuckery.
"That's it, I've had enough of today's dumbfuckery!" Said he, stomping out of the room to go home and take an aspirin.
"Like, you should totally come home with me, America, because I think I can tell you what to do despite the fact that you're a grown-ass man who can make his own decisions!" Said England, arranging his papers by shade of white and beckoning America to him like an uptight asshole.
"You shouldn't tell him what to do, he's a grown-ass man who can make his own decisions!" Russia said.
"... What he said." America said, because he doesn't have the IQ to comprehend the discussion at hand despite being a grown-ass superpower who was capable of nuking someone into next Tuesday if he had to. Poor, poor America. :(
"But I'm in love with America, and if I don't get my way I'll throw a hissy fit that would put a toddler to shame because I'm an ancient fucking nation who is over one thousand years old and that is my maturity level!" England screamed.
"Wow. You stupid." That was the most intelligent thing that ever had the decency to come out of America's mouth.
"Well, I love him, too and I will fuck him right up the ass right here right now!" And Russia did. Hard. And his dick was sixteen inches long. And there were whips and cattle brands and non-phallic objects inserted into his anal cavity. Right in front of England.
"WOW BAE U LUV ME 2?!" America asked in textese, bleeding out his asshole because no lube plus pipes up your ass equals injury.
"I do!" Russia shouted. And he and England started arguing because two personifications representing powerful nations have nothing better to do than argue over who got to shag their crush. Then America cried uke tears and was all:
"But, Iggy! I love Russia-sama!" England got so pissed off that his magic brows of doom blasted him into space where he stayed foh-eyavah!
America then managed to get pregnant because that's what gay guys do and was Russia's bitch for all eternity.
THE END