BLUE MAGIC : MIGHTY GUARD
Fourth Year [Five Years Ago]
Magic Class. Third day this semester. He still hasn't noticed me. And yet he only sits a few seats away from me in Xu's class. I know he's shy, but you'd think at a certain point, a person would get past that and start opening up. I send him a message on the classroom computers.
[09:40:15] Me: Hello, how was your break? :)
[09:41:00] Him: Same as always.
[09:41:10] Me: You really need to get out more.
[09:41:17] Him: I'm content.
[09:41:32] Me: So tell me... exactly what do you do on your break?
[09:41:46] Him: It's none of your business.
[09:41:46] Me: none of my business?
[09:41:52] Him: ...
[09:42:01] Him: You should get back to work.
[09:42:20] Me: You're right. Talk to you after class!
[09:42:25] Him: Yeah.
"Quistis?" Xu suddenly catches me off guard.
"Oh, um, I believe the antisupport magics would be Slow, opposite to Haste. Curse, opposite to Aura. Dispel, opposite to Esuna," good thing I can multitask! If I hadn't been paying attention I would have been put on probation already. I'm always doing something else, but I can handle doing more than one thing at a time. My instructors tell me that's a trait that will help me excel in my studies.
So about the guy in my class... it feels like I've known him forever even though we never really talk. We've had a conversation or two, but that's it. He's the strong silent type, so who am I kidding? He would never go for a girl like me. Although I've had an ongoing crush on him for the past 2 years, I just don't know how to approach him. Still.
"Very good, Quistis. You've earned yourself five extra credit points. Good work. Class dismissed," Xu announces. I don't want to look too desperate to talk to him, but it's about time I said something to him!
I sit in the front row in Xu's class; he sits two seats behind me. I walk out of the class, slowly. I sometimes forget how slow he is too. Backfire...
"Hey, Squall," I try to get his attention as he passes me in the hall.
"Hi," he replies in his usual, monotone, I-Don't-Care-About-Anything voice. It's one of the things that drives me crazy about him; he's mysterious. He's like a puzzle and I love trying to figure him out.
"Where are you going?" I ask out of curiosity.
"Cafeteria."
"Do you mind if I join you? I mean we haven't really had any time to chat over break, I thought we could catch up."
"Whatever," he responds as we walk toward the elevator together.
"Do you have any plans the first weekend of October?"
"I don't know. That's kind of far away."
"Not really, it's only about a month from now."
"Why do you ask?" He pushes the elevator button and it opens up immediately.
"It's my birthday, I thought you might want to come," I invite, hoping he would come. Honestly, I haven't really planned anything out yet.
"Depends if I have anything going on that weekend."
"So that's a maybe?"
"Maybe."
"Okay, well I really hope you can make it. See you around, Squall."
Dear Diary,
I finally did it. I talked to him today. Nonchalant as always, but that's what makes him so cute.
I get the feeling that he's not really interested though... Maybe I can change that?
Also, I totally almost got busted today in Magic Class for talking on the computers. Kind of boring, all we're learning about right now is different types of magic. I wanna get to the good stuff... like how to cast magic spells. I'm especially interested in the forbidden magic, like Meteor and Ultima. I always have been so I kind of already know alot in this class because I get bored and do some research on it in the library.
It's too bad Garden has this dress code. I really want to dress up and make Squall notice me. I guess there's always my birthday. I think I'm going to wear the pink skirt I got last year on our trip to Winhill... I should probably wear it sometime soon before I grow out of it.
Zell's parents invited me to their house on my birthday. They're nice people and I really like them alot. And his mom makes the best cookies EVER. The recipe she has has been passed down for generations in her family. She was kind enough to offer me a copy, which was really sweet and thoughtful of her, but unfortunately I can barely operate a microwave without setting the place on fire. Imagine making cookies. Never touched a stove, never will. I think I'll just marry a chef.
I wonder if Squall knows how to cook? (I'm really starting to sound pathetic, aren't I?)
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I really don't see the point in all this. Can't we just do this as homework? It'd be so much easier to just read Chapter 4 in our free time so we could spend class time learning things we NEED help with. But no, we have to do it the hard way. On the bright side this means no homework but how will we ever succeed in Garden when the instructors are wasting our time? Why doesn't Cid step up and say something about this? I think I'll talk to him about this. I should probably look more focused. I can only imagine what I look like, spacing out like this. I have no idea what Xu's been talking about. My screen flashes and it gets my attention.
[09:40:15] Her: Hello, how was your break? :)
[09:41:00] Me: Same as always.
[09:41:10] Her: You really need to get out more.
[09:41:17] Me: I'm content.
[09:41:32] Her: So tell me... exactly what do you do on your break?
[09:41:46] Me: It's none of your business.
[09:41:46] Her: none of my business?
[09:41:52] Me: ...
[09:42:01] Me: You should get back to work.
[09:42:20] Her: You're right. Talk to you after class!
[09:42:25] Me: Yeah.
And now Xu calls on Quistis to answer a question I doubt she'll know the answer to because she's been talking to me instead. I wonder why she's just now talking to me? I mean, I see her around Garden all the time, we say hi to each other and have casual conversations here and there but nothing more. I never see her talk to anybody else except Zell, and her instructors. I wonder if she likes me? That sure would explain her perky mood every time I'm within five feet. Or maybe she likes Zell? He's really friendly with girls and they love him but I don't think he acknowledges them. I mean he doesn't dress the part, but I think he likes other boys. He invited me over to his house the week before finals last semester and got all weird when I took my shirt off before bed. Not only that, but there's this girl who stopped by his house when I was there and I'm not really sure what she was saying but he might as well have just slammed the door in her face. But, people probably think the same thing of me since I keep to myself and the only person I ever really talk to is Seifer, and that always turns out badly. I guess I should say "talk to" means "fight with." He's not a bad guy, we just don't get along and he needs to mind his own business sometimes. He's also pretty conceited and I thought girls hated that but I can count on both of my hands all the girls that talk to him. Of course only one I know by name, a girl older than us by a year or two, Fujin. She doesn't talk much but you can tell how much she cares about Seifer, and Raijin. Raijin is the most tolerable of the three. Fujin doesn't argue with anybody but given the right situation she can be abusive. Raijin just kinda goes with the flow, whatever happens happens, and he takes everything very lightheartedly. He's kind of a clutz though.
"Class dismissed," I come out of my trance as everybody leaves. Quistis grabs my attention as I pass her in the hall. I really have no idea how to act around girls. But why bother.
"Hey Squall," she says in her tries-to-be-cute-and-friendly tone. I've heard this tone from her several times when talking to me, but never with anybody else.
"Hi."
"Where are you going?" I don't really like being questioned. I like my space. But whatever.
"Cafeteria." My default answer. I always end up there anyway, when I'm not in my dorm, so it's become sort of a habit to just answer with that.
"Do you mind if I join you?" sort of, yeah. "I mean we haven't really had any time to chat over break, I thought we could catch up."
"Whatever."
"Do you have any plans the first weekend of October?"
"I don't know. That's kind of far away." I have no intention of going. Yeah, she seems nice and all, but will she be like this a few months from now? The answer is no. Big fat NO. Everyone changes and relationships with people never last that long, so why even form them in the first place? Everyone just disposes of people like garbage. Well I am not garbage and I won't become garbage! Even if that means staying in my dorm every Saturday night, sleeping instead of having a friend over. At least I wake up every morning with my dignity.
"Not really, it's only about a month from now." she corrects me.
"Why do you ask?" Why do I bother asking that? I push the elevator button and it opens. She gets on with me and continues our conversation as the doors close.
"It's my birthday, I thought you might want to come." Yeah, right.
Just what I need. An invitation to something and I can't go. It's different from being busy, or not being allowed, or something suddenly coming up at the last minute. I just... can't go. I don't want to end up attached to anyone. I see so many people here at Garden who end up so attached to someone... reliant, dependent on someone... and next thing you know, they're gone and what's left of the other person? They act like their life is over. They're so miserable and hopeless... I never want to be like that.