Author's Note: We've finally had the 'Original Songs' episode play in England (after so many weeks... it was worth it. Klaine on television is SO much better). My dad, being the utter legend he is, took one look at the Klaine kiss and just said '...Get some, Kurt', with this huge grin on his face. So cool. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was a secret Klainer.
Disclaimer: Some spoilers for future episodes – maybe. I don't think this'll happen, but just in case. And I only own the plot. Sort of.
Lunch times without my boy are hell, thought Mercedes miserably, poking at one of her tots. One of the best things about having Kurt Hummel as a best friend, besides his wit, his fabulous collection of scarves that he lent her, his love of the Sound of Music Sing-Along... Okay, there were many great things about having Kurt as a best friend, but one in particular was how he pointed out hot guys with her.
While Mercedes loved all of the Glee girls like they were her sisters, she'd found that none of them were really suitable for guy watching the way Kurt was, and she really missed doing it. Tina, Brittany and Lauren were too into their boyfriends to really notice other guys. Quinn, lately, had become so obsessed with the idea of being prom queen that Mercedes frequently considered throwing tots at her head. Rachel would go off on a rant about how she didn't need a man to pursue her career, and would then spend the next ten minutes staring at Finn. And Santana... Well, Santana didn't check guys out – she plotted her next sexual exploits. Which wasn't really the point.
Finn's phone started ringing – he answered, grinned, and then said,
"Hang on; I'll put you on speaker."
"Finn, that's not really why I... Never mind. Hello?" A voice came out of the phone that Finn was holding out proudly. There was silence for a few minutes, and then the New Directions lunch table practically exploded as everyone launched themselves at the phone, shouting messages to Kurt.
"Kurt, Kurt, my cat wanted me to tell you-"
"Dude, 'Just Dance' isn't the same without you – everyone else is-"
"Blue? Is that too predictable? Does it suit my skin tone? Should I go with-"
"No clothes stage yet, Hummel? You best hurry-"
"Wanky!"
"Blaine rang me to ask about your stint as a Cheerio. I didn't say anything, because-"
"I, for one, think your attempts to spy on us are getting a little desperate, Kurt Hummel. Does the phrase-"
"I need you to help me with my prom campaign, Hummel. I want to crush Fabray with-"
"My hair dye's making my hair go all funny, Kurt, what-"
"Time and place for our rematch, Hummel. I refuse to lose again to somebody who insists on calling every weapon a 'bazooka'."
"Okay, okay!" Kurt laughed breathlessly down the phone. "I can't hear a word any of you are saying! Start from one end of the table, and just pass the phone around everybody. And keep it short, because I've got French in a few minutes. While I may be fluent, it's a requirement to attend classes at Dalton." Mercedes could practically hear his eyes roll. "Okay, go."
"Kurt," Quinn began once Finn had passed the phone to her. "I need you to go over what colours I can wear with my skin tone."
"Again?" Kurt said exasperatedly.
"Yes. Call me later, okay?" She handed the phone over to Artie without waiting for Kurt to respond.
"Come over to mine this weekend, yeah? I want a rematch. There's no way you should be beating me at COD. It's just wrong."
"Why, because I'm a raging homosexual?" Artie scoffed.
"Please. It's because you don't take it seriously – you don't even look at the screen when you play! So, rematch. Be there."
"Kurt?" Brittany asks down the phone. "Are you having fun at Hogwarts?"
"Yes, Britt, I'm having a lot of fun at Hogwarts." There's something unidentifiable in Kurt's voice, but Mercedes doesn't bother to give it too much thought – he's probably just preoccupied, what with the workload and his new boyfriend and what not.
"Oh. Okay. I'll see you soon?" She questioned.
"Sure, I'll see you as soon as I can," Kurt said softly. Brittany passed the phone to Mercedes, but she quickly passed it on to Sam, earning confused looks from everyone at the table. However, as she refused to make eye contact with anyone, she didn't see the looks.
"Uh... Oh yeah," Sam said eventually, realising that Mercedes wasn't going to speak. "I need a favour..."
"Yes, I'll dye your hair," Kurt said briskly. "Next request, please. And hurry it up, I've only got a few more minutes."
"No request," Puck said. "Lauren, Santana and I just want to know how great the sex is."
"Bloody fantastic. Next?"
"Whoa, no, you can't say that and not elaborate! Details, boy!" Lauren said excitedly.
"Guys, we're not really having sex." Santana sighed disappointedly and Puck crossed his arms, pushing the phone grumpily across the table towards Mike.
"Kurt, I'm begging you, come over to have a dance off with me. Finn's a crap dancer, and keeps punching Rachel in the face when he tries!"
"Exactly!" Rachel said, leaning over Tina rudely to take the phone, causing her to squeal,
"Rachel! Damn it, wait your turn! Kurt, tell her!"
"Rachel, if you're going to moan down the phone, plot your career or accuse me of being a spy, can it not wait till later? I want to talk to Finn and Mercedes. Speaking of which, where is Mercedes? I haven't heard her on the phone..." Mercedes looked up, panicked, and shook her hands frantically. Finn took the phone from Rachel and said slowly,
"Uh, she's not here... She's got... A finger down her throat?" Mercedes, who was trying to act out 'sick' through charades, slapped her hand to her forehead. "A headache?" She shrugged – it was close enough. "Yeah, a headache. She's at home. With a headache. Which she's got." Mercedes sent a 'kill the conversation' gesture to Finn, which eventually he got without saying 'oh no, wait, she's been decapitated' down the phone.
"Oh... Well, if you see her, tell her I want to talk to her, okay? It's really important. Come to think of it, I wanted to talk to you too, Finn, so I'll talk to you when I get home tonight. Oh, damn it, that's the bell, I'm going to be late. I'll talk to you all later, see some of you this weekend, goodbye, miss you all, love you, bye!" He hung up frantically amidst yelled goodbyes. Once everyone had realised that Kurt had indeed hung up, there was silence at the table. Mercedes was staring morosely at her still uneaten tots, when she felt Brittany gently squeeze her hand.
"I miss him too." There are firm nods of assent from everyone at the table, and Mercedes tries to force herself not to cry. She can feel the tears coming, so she stands up, tray of uneaten tots in hand, and dumps them in the trashcan on her way out. She wasn't really hungry anyway.
Monday lunchtime, and Mercedes was feeling furious as she slammed her bag down on one of the tables outside. All weekend, Kurt could've come to see her, or called her – hell, he could've sent a text and she'd have been satisfied. But not once did she hear a word from Kurt Hummel. Everything was pissing her off at the moment, and it didn't help that Finn was walking around school with this smug, knowing grin on his face. She felt like slapping it off. With a brick.
"Why is there a piano out here?" Brittany said, looking off in the distance. As was normal, she was ignored.
"I was slaughtered by Hummel. Again. I swear, that guy-"
"Wait, Artie, you saw Kurt? He went to see you?" Artie winced at the dangerous look on Mercedes's face, but slowly nodded.
"How many of you saw Kurt this weekend?" There were guilty looks from everyone assembled – the only one who didn't look guilty was Rachel; that was probably because she wasn't actually listening, and was quietly humming to herself under her breath. Eventually, every hand bar Rachel's rose.
"Well, at least he didn't blow me off for Rachel..." Rachel, at the sound of her name, looked up.
"Are we discussing who saw Kurt this weekend? Yes, I did, he came over to burn all of my sweaters. My dads love him, and want to adopt him as a son." She rolled her eyes. "It was only because he had an hour long discussion with them about Alexander McQueen." Mercedes swore mutinously under her breath.
"Oh, come on, 'Cedes, I'm sure there's a reason Kurt didn't talk to you..." Quinn said sympathetically, patting Mercedes gently on the arm. Mercedes flinched, but was saved from throwing something at Quinn when her phone vibrated in her pocket. Finn shot her an odd-looking grin, but she ignored it in favour of the name that was currently flashing on her phone's screen – 'Kurt Hummel'. She wasn't sure whether to be overjoyed or livid that he was finally texting her. Sighing, she opened the text, feeling a very odd sensation in which she wanted to both hug and kill Kurt. There wasn't an apology, an explanation of his behaviour, or even an acknowledgement – just three words.
'Turn around – surprise!.' Turning around, Mercedes found herself looking at some random people sitting on the steps. Finn gently took her head in his hands and directed her gaze upwards.
Where Kurt Hummel – her best friend, Kurt Hummel – was looking down at her, grinning softly, and wearing a fabulous hat and coat – normal clothes. That could only mean one thing.
"KURT HUMMEL'S BACK AT MCKINLEY!"
Author's Note: I haven't given up on 'Klaine, As Told By David and Wes'. Far from it. I had nearly finished the next chapter – I was getting ready to upload it and everything – and I was just doing the final read through. And I didn't like it. At all. Now, usually that doesn't bother me, because there's a few other chapters that I like less than the others, but I upload them anyway. However, immediately after I realised I didn't like it, I had a brainchild, in which I knew exactly how I wanted to write it.
Which has meant that I'm rewriting the chapter. So, I thought I'd upload this, to let you know that I'm not dead, I haven't given up, and it will be uploaded ASAP.
Okay, thanks for reading my rambles :)