Hey lads and lasses! So, this story sprang about after a case of writer's block with Fill My Goblet and reading a story of a soldier. I hope this story can capture the emotions of that man.

~TragedicMerlin


The pain of love

Sometimes, Merlin couldn't help but hate himself. Because of him, Camelot was threatened, because of him, there could be no real heir. But Merlin hadn't done anything, not really. He had fallen in love with Arthur, and Arthur with him. At first it had been the most wonderful thing, knowing he would always have Arthur by his side, but then it became scary.

Arthur began to spend so much time with Merlin that he neglected both his duties and Gwen. He ignored her to the point that she eventually left Camelot with Lancelot. Though Arthur soon got over it, Merlin never fully could. Not only did he feel as if he caused this irreparable rift, he had lost Gwen, his best friend. Though they kept contact through letters, he had to either hide or burn them to keep them from Arthur.

Thanks to his regular contact with Gwen, Merlin knew she and Lancelot had a child together, and they named him Elyan, in honour of her deceased brother. And Merlin had swelled with pride when they asked him to be the godfather. Of course, his trip did not go unnoticed by Arthur. After returning Arthur had questioned his whereabouts. Merlin claimed he had gone to see his mother, but knew Arthur didn't believe him. After, Merlin noticed there were always guards near him, and knew Arthur was having him watched. And that was only the start of his troubles, if Uther found out, he was dead for sure...

3 years later

"Merlin!" screamed Arthur, as his manservant and lover was knocked backwards off his horse by Morgana. She laughed as Merlin feebly attempted to get up and, with her eyes flashing gold, threw him into a thorn bush. "How dare you!" Arthur raged.

"I will have you for this!"

Morgana laughed, a high-pitched, bone chilling laugh.

"And how will you get what you can't catch, Arthur?" and with a flurry she vanished. Not caring, Arthur ran to Merlin, who had cuts covering his body. "Are you okay Merlin?" the concern evident in his voice. Merlin blinked before answering; "I'm okay, just a couple of scrapes"

"A couple of scrapes? You sure?"

"Yes Arthur, I'm sure, I just need some water"

Arthur passed Merlin his waterskin, and Merlin drank a couple of mouthfuls before passing it back.

"Thanks" said Merlin, feeling refreshed.

"I was so worried about you, love"

"I know" mumbled Merlin, "But you don't need to be" laughing quietly at Merlin's stubbornness to not be looked after and brought Merlin into an embrace, and planted a kiss on his lips, before pulling apart at the sound of horses. "Sire!" exclaimed Leon. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Leon, where are Percival and Gwaine?"

"They are dealing with the last few bandits, sire."

"Very well, let us pick them up and head back to Camelot"

After returning to Camelot, Merlin undressed and slipped into Arthur's bed, where Arthur himself soon after. Cuddling together, Arthur said;

"Are you sure you'll be okay Merlin? Gauis said you had a nasty cut across your arm."

"He gave me a poultice, it should heal quickly" said Merlin.

"Go to sleep Arthur. You look tired and you have a council meeting tomorrow" Arthur just hummed in response and was soon asleep. Being careful not to wake Arthur, dressing quickly and silently Merlin crept out of the room to his old chambers where Gauis lived. He pulled out the note Morgana had given him during the 'battle', he opened it up.

"Merlin, my dearest friend..."


So, what do you think? What is in that letter?, Is Merlin working with Morgana? You'll have to wait and find out! Sorry its short, but it has to be to pick up later on All reviews welcome, and I hope you enjoy it! Until next time lads and lasses!

~TragedicMerlin