I wrote this and Zaraki's Bright Idea as omakes for the Bleach stories I'm working on, but I decidd to just post them as one-shots. Enjoy.

I own no one.

Bleach: Filler Guy Complains

Motoko Shiro of the 3rd division was just assigned to his first field patrol in the living world a month ago. Since he arrived he has slain no hollows. Now most people would consider this a good thing, quiet towns were hard to come by. But Shiro's lack of kills was not from a lack of hollows; no his phone rang several times a day to alert him to the presence of hollows, but by the time he got to the location, there was never anything there but the quickly disintegrating remains of a hollow and some minor collateral damage. He'd run himself raw trying to catch whoever it was doing his job, but could never catch anyone at the scene. He'd scene some little kids walking nearby a few times, and some local high school students chatting around the corner from one particularly damaging battleground without a care in the world once. The most suspicious had been the cute teenage girl with the large…ahem…walking away from the still dissipating remains of what appeared to be a particularly large hollow; but the vacant look in her eyes, which he only ever reached after remembering his girlfriend back in the 4th division, told him that the girl couldn't have been a part of the battle. There wasn't a speck of dust on her and she couldn't even see him standing right in front of her. He decided enough was enough and pulled out his cell phone to call up the 12th division and find out what the hell was going on.

*RING* *RING* "Hello, 12th division, hollow detection and prediction department, how can we help you?" asked a bored male voice over the phone.

"Ah yes, hello. This is Shiro of division 3. I was calling to complain about someone interfering in my patrol area."

"Just one moment please." Shiro can hear typing on the other end of the line. "You would be Motoko Shiro of the 3rd division, assigned to patrol Karakura town and the surrounding area, yes?"

"That's correct."

"Well it says here that all complaints about Karakura town or the substitute shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo are to be presented personally to 11th division captain Kenpachi Zaraki or 12th division captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Personally, if someone were doing my job for me, I'd just sit back and enjoy the vacation if I were you."

"Ah, yes, thanks."

"Is that all?"

"Y-yes, that's all."

"Well. Goodbye Shiro-san."

"Yeah, goodbye." As the phone gave off the dial tone that represented an ended call, Shiro decided it would probably be best to take the techie's advice. After all, he had no wish to be killed by either the 11th or 12th division captains, and it's not like having someone to do his job for him was a bad thing.

Please review. Tell me how I did.

And no, I don't care if I got the name right.