Thanks Lady Russel Holmes for the great title!
:D
~~~~~~~~~~~Disclaimer stuff: I do not own the Harry Potter characters, etc, etc, yadda yadda...~~~~~~~~~
Harry sighed. 'Ahh crap, the next 2 hours Potions...' He and Ron pretend to be puking. 'Don't be so immature! Potions is really interesting... too bad the professor is a fucking asshole!' Hermoine said. Harry and Ron gasped. 'What?' she asked. 'You...you... said... 2... "bad" words!!!' Ron managed to get out. 'It's the truth. If something is true, it's OK...' she replied. 'Oh... you're probably right.' Harry said. 'Ofcourse I am, idiot!! I am the fantastic, all knowing Hermoine Granger!!!!'
The bell rang, making an end at their intellectual conversation.
They entered the Potions class and quickly sat down, before Snape would come in and take off even more points from Gryffondor. 'This is odd... We've been here for about 5 minutes and Snape hasn't even arrived yet!' Hermoine said, rather worried. 'No Snape means no points from Gryf.!' Ron said, smiling his idiotic and moronic smile.
*********Another 5 minutes have passed by**********
They were talking about Quidditch, when suddenly the door swung open and Snape came trough the door, walked up to his desk and almost tripped over his robe.
'Whoaahh sorry everyone!!!! I'm like, a bit, laaateee!!! Time goes FFFFAAASSSSTT!!' Snape said, a bit giggly. Everyone stared at him oddly and wondered what in the Name Of Merlin's Beard happened to him.
'Hey you there! Muffin boy!' He said, waving his hand in Draco Malfoy's direction. 'Errr yes Professor?' He answered, trying not to sound insulted by the 'muffin boy' part. 'Did you hear that!?!!!!!' Snape said, a bit puzzled, while looking around like he was teaching Potions Class for the very first time. 'I'm sorry?' Malfoy said, puzzled as well. 'It's OK.' Snape replied. Malfoy was completely confused.
The class started to laugh hysterically. It seemed like Snape had absolutely no idea of what he was doing. And he wasn't. He was talking about llama's, pink and blue elephants, humping dogs, those silly camels with their lumps, how weird the word 'absolutely' sounds, how cool Winnie The Pooh is (Only the kids who have Muggle parents knew what he was talking about) and collecting paperback books, while giggling none stop.
When the bell rang, none of the Gryffondors wanted to leave! How many times do you witness something like THIS?!!! The Slytherins left when Snape started to do a Michael Jackson imitation, he didn't even notice. After Snape fell asleep on the floor, the Gryffondors also left, still laughing hysterically of what they have just seen.
'That.. was... the... BEST... lesson... we... EVER...had!!!' Ron managed to say, trying not to choke in his own laughter. 'Hahaha, yes it was quite amusing,' Hermoine said, smiling. 'But I sure would like to know what happened to him.' 'Oh Hermoine please don't ruin this historic moment.' Harry said, trying to control his laughter, but failed. He almost fell off the stairs when he thought of Snape, stuttering and his eyes all unfocused and... 'OH MY GOD!!!! I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO SNAPE!!! HE TOOK DRUGS!!!'
Hermoine gasped and Ron looked confused. 'Drugs? Like, medicines?' 'Ofcourse! It's so fucking obvious! I bet he had some "bad" mushrooms!!' They stared at each other for about a minute, then Harry and Hermoine started laughed their asses off and imitation the stoned Snape while walking to the Great Hall, leaving a confused Ron behind. 'Stoned? "Bad Mushrooms"??? Why don't I know anything about the Muggle world...' he muttered, walking up to the Gryffondor's common room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Aaaaaanddd that's the first chapter of this story! Please tell me what you think of it! I hoped you enjoyed this odd story. (Snape is one of my favourite characters, so I have nothing against him or whatever! He's just always pissed off, which makes it funny to let him behave like this!)~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~Disclaimer stuff: I do not own the Harry Potter characters, etc, etc, yadda yadda...~~~~~~~~~
Harry sighed. 'Ahh crap, the next 2 hours Potions...' He and Ron pretend to be puking. 'Don't be so immature! Potions is really interesting... too bad the professor is a fucking asshole!' Hermoine said. Harry and Ron gasped. 'What?' she asked. 'You...you... said... 2... "bad" words!!!' Ron managed to get out. 'It's the truth. If something is true, it's OK...' she replied. 'Oh... you're probably right.' Harry said. 'Ofcourse I am, idiot!! I am the fantastic, all knowing Hermoine Granger!!!!'
The bell rang, making an end at their intellectual conversation.
They entered the Potions class and quickly sat down, before Snape would come in and take off even more points from Gryffondor. 'This is odd... We've been here for about 5 minutes and Snape hasn't even arrived yet!' Hermoine said, rather worried. 'No Snape means no points from Gryf.!' Ron said, smiling his idiotic and moronic smile.
*********Another 5 minutes have passed by**********
They were talking about Quidditch, when suddenly the door swung open and Snape came trough the door, walked up to his desk and almost tripped over his robe.
'Whoaahh sorry everyone!!!! I'm like, a bit, laaateee!!! Time goes FFFFAAASSSSTT!!' Snape said, a bit giggly. Everyone stared at him oddly and wondered what in the Name Of Merlin's Beard happened to him.
'Hey you there! Muffin boy!' He said, waving his hand in Draco Malfoy's direction. 'Errr yes Professor?' He answered, trying not to sound insulted by the 'muffin boy' part. 'Did you hear that!?!!!!!' Snape said, a bit puzzled, while looking around like he was teaching Potions Class for the very first time. 'I'm sorry?' Malfoy said, puzzled as well. 'It's OK.' Snape replied. Malfoy was completely confused.
The class started to laugh hysterically. It seemed like Snape had absolutely no idea of what he was doing. And he wasn't. He was talking about llama's, pink and blue elephants, humping dogs, those silly camels with their lumps, how weird the word 'absolutely' sounds, how cool Winnie The Pooh is (Only the kids who have Muggle parents knew what he was talking about) and collecting paperback books, while giggling none stop.
When the bell rang, none of the Gryffondors wanted to leave! How many times do you witness something like THIS?!!! The Slytherins left when Snape started to do a Michael Jackson imitation, he didn't even notice. After Snape fell asleep on the floor, the Gryffondors also left, still laughing hysterically of what they have just seen.
'That.. was... the... BEST... lesson... we... EVER...had!!!' Ron managed to say, trying not to choke in his own laughter. 'Hahaha, yes it was quite amusing,' Hermoine said, smiling. 'But I sure would like to know what happened to him.' 'Oh Hermoine please don't ruin this historic moment.' Harry said, trying to control his laughter, but failed. He almost fell off the stairs when he thought of Snape, stuttering and his eyes all unfocused and... 'OH MY GOD!!!! I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO SNAPE!!! HE TOOK DRUGS!!!'
Hermoine gasped and Ron looked confused. 'Drugs? Like, medicines?' 'Ofcourse! It's so fucking obvious! I bet he had some "bad" mushrooms!!' They stared at each other for about a minute, then Harry and Hermoine started laughed their asses off and imitation the stoned Snape while walking to the Great Hall, leaving a confused Ron behind. 'Stoned? "Bad Mushrooms"??? Why don't I know anything about the Muggle world...' he muttered, walking up to the Gryffondor's common room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Aaaaaanddd that's the first chapter of this story! Please tell me what you think of it! I hoped you enjoyed this odd story. (Snape is one of my favourite characters, so I have nothing against him or whatever! He's just always pissed off, which makes it funny to let him behave like this!)~~~~~~~~~~~~