OPENING TITLES
The Catherine Tate Show
Sketch 1: Nan and the Moe complex
Featuring: Nan and Miyuki Takara with her cousin, Natsumi Takara from Lucky Star
Nan is just reading a book. Jamie comes in with two people.
JAMIE: Hello, Nan!
NAN: Hello, Jamie! Ooh, who have you got here?
JAMIE: I just need to give them something. They'll be out in a bit. This is Miyuki Takara, and this is her cousin, Natsumi.
NATSUMI AND MIYUKI: Hi!
NAN: Hello! Oh! Look at you two! You, with that big chest of yours! And you, the boy who looks like a girl! That's nice! What a fucking liberty!
NATSUMI: Thanks!
NAN: So, sit down, tell me what you do.
Natsumi and Miyuki sit down.
MIYUKI: I work at the information centre back at home.
NATSUKI: I work at a different information centre. Down Cardiff way, I think.
NAN: Nice! So, what are you like?
NATSUMI: Natsumi is a Japanese girl's name. Some reason, I like partly girly things. See, I have two bobby pins in my hair.
NAN: Are you a fucking girl?
NATSUMI: No! I'm a boy!
NAN: Off your fucking nut, you are! Huuup! What about you, girl?
MIYUKI: I tend to be a bit clumsy. A friend told me that I'm clumsy and sexy.
NAN: Sexy? You look like a fucking prostitute!
NATSUMI: I think she prefers the term "cow" to "fucking prostitute".
NAN: Well, it's too fucking late .co .uk!
NATSUMI: Jamie, do you have the DVDs?
JAMIE: Yep, here you are!
NATSUMI: Well, we'd better be going. Bye!
NAN: Bye bye!
(Natsumi and Miyuki walk out the door with Jamie)
(yells from the window) Take your fucking DVDs and fark off, you fucking prostitute and asbo!