Note: Just a quick thing – there's quite a bit of religion permeating this chapter, but the first scene is in an abbey, so to me it made sense. There won't be nearly as much mention of spirituality in the future.
I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing this! I've always loved the Sound of Music.
Belle relished the feeling of the grass beneath her feet and the way the breeze felt in the cool mountain air. She supposed she should feel guilty, for she was shirking her duties at the Abbey by being out in the mountains, but she couldn't bring herself to feel bad when she was surrounded by so much beauty. It had been her dream ever since she was a small girl to be able to travel and see the world, and although the cloistered life was a bit sheltered, she was still grateful to have been able to experience the environment in the Alps. There was so little interference by civilization that the wildlife was able to grow free and untamed, and the part of Belle that had always longed for a great adventure felt like her heart beat in time with nature here. The hills seemed alive and thriving in a way, and it inspired her to sing from the depths of her soul, completely forgetting her worries. She grew up in these mountains, and although Belle knew that she had made a good choice in joining the abbey, she couldn't help but regret leaving the home she had loved so much. Belle could recognize the native flora, like the edelweiss that her father had adored, primrose that she and her friends used to decorate their hair with, and hyssop that was commonly used for skin and chest ailments.
Belle had decided to join the abbey at twenty-three. There were few jobs she could take, being a woman with a limited education, and even fewer available to her in the countryside. She was a bookish type, and that seemed to drive away most marriage prospects except for Georg Gaston, and even he wanted to marry her more out of a sense of duty than actual love. Belle respected the ideas of love and marriage too much to just settle into a life with a man who felt he needed to protect her, and so she had rejected his proposal for a life of prayer with her sisters.
Belle was so lost in thought that she didn't realize until it was too late that she had forgotten all about daily Mass. She was late, again. Belle jumped up and started running toward the abbey, hoping she wouldn't be subjected to a scolding by the Mother Abbess.
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The Mother Abbess was in her study, reviewing the records of the sisters in her care and their progress as they continued to pursue the vocation, when she heard a knock at the door. She had a feeling she knew what this would be about.
"Come in," she called kindly, and Sister Astrid stepped timidly through the door.
"Mother Abbess," she greeted, head slightly bowed in deference. "I'm sorry to bother you, Mother, but there's been some complaints. About, well, about Belle."
The Mother let out a sigh. While Belle had many wonderful qualities, at times it seemed that she wasn't truly meant to be an ordained nun. Unlike some sisters, in whom it was obvious that they were called to the monastic life, the Mother wondered if perhaps God had different plans for Isobel. "What is it, sister Astrid?" she asked.
"She's a sweet girl, of course, but her head always seems to be in the clouds, and sometimes I doubt her devotion. Today she was even singing in the courtyard when we were to have our hour of prayer," Astrid said worriedly. Like Mother Abbess, she cared for Belle but was worried about whether she was meant to be a nun. To Astrid and her sisters, there was no higher calling than to the monastic life, but they all knew it wasn't for everyone. Astrid wanted Belle to be where God was calling her, even if it wasn't at the abbey.
"I'll admit that Belle is rather unorthodox," the Mother agreed. "Perhaps I should talk with her."
"How do you plan to solve the issue with Belle?" Astrid asked hopefully.
"Sister Astrid, one might well ask how to hold a moonbeam in their hand," the Mother Superior answered with a wry smile.
Not twenty minutes later, Belle was sitting in the Mother Abbess' office, head down, expecting a talk about her behaviors and how they were displeasing to the Lord. Mother Abbess was never stern, never raised her voice or scolded, but she had a way of making Belle feel like she had committed a heinous crime nonetheless. The Mother Abbess was just so devoted, and so spiritual, that it could be intimidating.
"I'm sorry, Mother Abbess," she said softly, her head bowed, "please, forgive me. I didn't mean to be singing during our quiet times." Belle was sure that her apology was inadequate, but to her surprise she was met by a look of kind concern.
"Belle, you have a beautiful soul. You're kind, and devoted, but I feel that perhaps you are not quite ready for the religious order. If this is what you truly want, then we will always welcome you with open arms. But I'd like to suggest a sabbatical of sorts, where you can consider your calling away from the Abbey and think clearly." The Mother's words were kind, and Belle could see a sort of maternal affection shining in her eyes, which Belle had sorely missed since her own mother had passed away years before.
"But Mother, I do want to be here, I promise," Belle protested.
"Then when you come back, you can resume your training for the vocation," Mother Abbess responded patiently. "But I would feel better if you prayed about it at a distance."
"But Mother, where will I go?" Belle had never been off on her own before. She joined the Abbey straight from her small alpine village, accompanied by her father and Georg. Every step of her spiritual journey at the abbey had been taken in the company of her sisters. It was strange to think that she would be starting a chapter of her life entirely on her own. If she took the Mother Abbess' assignment, she'd be deciding her fate for the first time in her life. The Mother Abbess pulled out a letter that had been sitting in her desk drawer, and placed it in front of Belle.
"Today, as I was praying for you, Belle, this letter arrived. Captain Goldfarbe is asking for a governess for his children. I think it would be a good opportunity for you to go and care for his children."
"Do you think I can do it, truly?" Belle asked, unsure of herself. The Abbess gave her an appraising look.
"I think perhaps you underestimate yourself, my child," she said kindly. "You're young, you've so much life to live, and yet you're hiding away. You need to climb every mountain, and seize the opportunities granted to you."
"You're right, Mother. Thank you, I will accept the position," Belle said. The Mother Abbess' words made her remember a proverb often used in her village. Do the brave thing, and bravery will follow. If nothing else, she would have confidence in herself to do the very best she could. Belle put her all into everything she did, and being a governess would be no exception. She hadn't been trained to be a governess, but her father had ensured that she was a highly accomplished student, and her patience would be useful in instructing the children.
The Mother Abbess stood and Belle quickly followed suit. Mother Abbess embraced her tenderly, and gave her a heartwarming smile. "I know you will do great things, Belle. The Abbey will always be here to welcome you home."
In the end, Belle didn't have much to pack - only a few dresses, two pairs of shoes, her rosary, and her journals, basically her essentials. She prepared herself for the journey in a short time and spent her journey to the Goldfarbe estate wondering what Captain Goldfarbe was like, and how his children would react to a governess. Mother Abbess' words had been encouraging, but she didn't have many details other than that quite a few governesses had come and gone from the Goldfarbe family. There were seven children in all, so Belle supposed she would have her hands full.
Although she was nervous, the words of her kinsmen reassured her. Do the brave thing, and bravery will follow...