Title: Castle. In the Theater. With a Candlestick.
Summary: It's the night of the "New York Police and Fire Widows' and Children's Benefit Fund" annual charity event, and Martha Rogers and Kate Beckett have something special in mind for the homicide detectives of the 12th precinct - a murder mystery!
Rating: T
Author's Note: This was written for a challenge at Castleland over at Livejounal in late 2010. I've only posted this to my LJ so far but thought I could archive it over here as well. My writing partner in crime was flip18 who came up with the marvelous idea for this fic!
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Even before Kate Beckett walked through the doors of the Waldorf Astoria's ballroom, she could hear the voices. Arguing. She sighed as she pushed the heavy doors open. She should have expected this.
"How come you get to be the inspector and I get to be the butler?"
Her eyes focused on Det. Kevin Ryan who stood at the front end of the stage. Next to him, Det. Javier Esposito just flashed him a smug grin.
"It's because you look more like a butler than I do, buddy."
"I do not look like a butler. What does a butler look like anyways?"
"The real question would be," a third voice cut in as Richard Castle appeared out of the shadows, balancing a lone candlestick in his hands, "why am I not the inspector? I'm always the inspector. I'm the guy who cracks the case. Always. I cannot be," the candlestick flew behind him and shattered on the ground with a loud bang while he pulled a card out of his pocket and glanced at it, "Charles DuBois. What kind of name is that? It sounds so... atrocious! And pretentious!"
"Then it suits you just fine," Kate replied as she neared the stage.
"Oh, just the person I was looking for," Castle jumped off the stage and met her halfway down the room, "I can't be this Charles DuBois guy. I'm your case cracker, the one with the brilliant insights who'll solve it for you! Esposito? No way he'll solve this mystery as quickly as I can!"
She flashed him a wicked smile before she walked on, "your mother suggested the role of Lord Devonfordshire for you."
"The guy who gets murdered? Rick Castle does not get murdered in a murder mystery. Rick Castle solves the murder mystery but Rick Castle does not get murdered."
"It was your mother's idea, Castle, not mine. I thought Charles DuBois suited you just fine."
"How can a character whose only description is 'old college chum of Lord Devonfordshire' sound like me? This," with a jump and two wide strides, he was back on stage and took the card Esposito was holding out of his hands, "this sounds exactly like me. 'Inspector Jones. Police inspector sent to solve the case. A flirt with a brilliant mind.' See? That's got Richard Castle written all over it."
Kate rolled her eyes as she met the threesome on stage. She dropped her bag on one of the chairs set up for rehearsal, then turned to face the three men, her had extended.
"Castle, card," she demanded, wiggling her fingers at him. "The inspector card."
"I can't be Charles DuBois," he whined, holding out the DuBois card for Kate to take while clutching the inspector card to his chest.
"Card," she repeated, signaling him that she would not give in to all his arguing. With a sigh, and very reluctantly, he finally handed her the card she wanted.
"Fine. Then I'll be the college chum. But do not call me Charlie!"
"I can call you anything I want, Castle."
Kate winked at him with a smirk before she turned to Ryan and Esposito.
"Stevenson, the butler," she said to Ryan, "no arguing about it. Main witness to the crime, so get your story straight. You have your instructions on your card."
"Sees all, hears all, found the Lord in the study," Ryan repeated what was written on his card, "But why am I the butler when he is the inspector?"
"Simple mistake," Kate replied while she handed Esposito a card she had pulled out of the back pocket of her jeans, "your character, Esposito."
The grin that had been so prominently featured on Esposito's face slowly faded as he read the card.
"The gardener?" he exclaimed, "I get demoted from inspector to gardener?"
"Hey, now that leaves the inspector for me again," Castle piped in, his hand reaching for the card Kate was still holding. She shot him one of her looks, and he quickly pulled it back.
"None of you guys is going to be the inspector. Castle, Charlie DuBois. Ryan, butler. Esposito, gardener. No more discussion."
"I bet she wants the role of inspector for herself," Castle muttered under his breath as he plopped down on the sofa that was placed off to the side of the stage.
"I heard that!" Kate warned him, "And if you must know, no, I am not going to be the inspector. That role is reserved for the Captain."
Castle could not hold back a chuckle, "You do realize the card said 'flirt with a brilliant mind'."
Again, he was rewarded with a special Kate Beckett look that could have killed. He raised his hands in defense, and finally let go of the subject. He was not going to win this. Charles DuBois it would have to be for the night.
"Can I at least ask who you are going to be?"
"She is going to be Lady Elizabeth Devonfordshire," a voice cut in from the back as Martha and Alexis appeared from backstage, "daughter to Lady Millicent Devonfordshire, played by yours truly."
Castle raised his eyebrow. That thought had never crossed his mind, not after he had read the second line written on his character card. 'Secretly in love with Lady Elizabeth Devonfordshire'. Why had his spidey sense been so off for this one? After he had found the character list on his kitchen counter, he was sure he had gotten it all right. He would be the inspector, Lanie could play Lady Elizabeth and Beckett was the perfect match for Cecilia DuBois, sister to Ryan's Charles DuBois. How could he have been so off center?
"And I am going to be your little baby sister, dad!" Alexis beamed and rewarded her father with one of her big smiles.
"I always wanted a baby sister," he told her, answering her enthusiasm and pride with a smile of his own.
"Now c'mon everyone, get dressed," Martha ushered the group, her hands flying wildly in the air, "your costumes are in the dressing rooms in the back. Room 1 for the boys and room 2 for the ladies."
"Wait," Castle jumped up from the couch, "there is still one question we haven't answered yet. Since none of us is the inspector and none of us is the murder victim – whose the killer?"
"Wouldn't you like to know, dear," Martha smiled at her son, "All of you will find out once the accusations have been made. Either they are right or they are wrong. So either you are the killer or you are not. For now, only Kate and I need to know."
Confusion washed over all of the men's faces. After a short moment of silence, Esposito finally spoke what all of them where thinking, but none dared to say. "So all of us could be the killer and we wouldn't even know?"
Kate's response was a short "yep" as she picked up her bag and made her way to the back of the stage and disappeared behind the curtain together with Martha and Alexis.
"I bet it was Professor Plum with the revolver in the study," Castle quipped as he followed the women off stage, leaving Ryan and Esposito behind on stage.
The two looked at each other for a moment dumbfounded, then Ryan said, "Who is Professor Plum?"