So, I've become absolutely addicted to this movie. As it has my love of comedy that is Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson with my love of the attractiveness that is Dylan O'Brien. Then when I actually watched it, I fell in love with the story and the characters. Both Stuart and Lyle are my favorite characters.

Anyways, this is a Stuart/OC romance rewrite of the movie.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

I hate Mondays, she thought to herself as she stalked into the building. Her head was pounding and the world around was slightly spinning. She paused and took a deep breathe; the seductive aroma of coffee filled her senses. Turning, her eyes landed on the café. Her mouth watered at the sight of the caffeinated beverages.

"Rough night?" A light and familiar voice asked.

Without sparing them a glance she responded, "Fun night, but rough morning."

"Oh?"

"I drank way too much last night, Marielena." She told her best friend, who laughed softly.

"I know. I was there."

She couldn't take it anymore, she needed to have one or she would either die a slow, agonizing death or end up killing someone. She probably wouldn't do well in prison and like hell would she be someone's bitch. Plus orange is so not her color.

"And why didn't you stop me?" She moaned agonizingly as she started towards the café.

"Because I was a little busy working."

She flinched as she remembered that little detail. "Right." She paused as a thought came to mind, albeit painfully. "Do you co-workers think that it's weird that I show up every weekend? I mean it's not like I'm gay or anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm straight as they come and people there probably talk and wow the room is spinning very much right now." She reached out quickly to brace herself on a chair that was nearby.

"You okay?" Marielena asked worriedly.

"I think so. Just used to many words." She mumbled as her equilibrium came back to her.

"Do you need anything?"

"Coffee."

She heard her friend make a disapproving noise in the back of her throat. "You know you can't have it."

"But-but Mari! I'm dying here. If I'm going to survive work today and Lyle freaking out about choosing the interns I need coffee." She stressed out finally turning to her friend.

"And Lyle will kill me if I let you have coffee." Marielena pointed out and she huffed knowing that she was right. He would kill her despite having the biggest crush on her.

"Who says he has to know?" She was whining and she honestly wasn't ashamed to admit that at least right now. No doubt once it felt like her head wasn't going to implode, she probably would be embarrassed.

"Jake would tell him."

She cursed, "He had to tell him not serve me coffee since we found out."

"He's worried about you."

"I know." She said reluctantly eyeing the sweet nectar that was stilling calling out to her. "Find I'll get a hot tea."

"Good choice."

She glared at her friend, "I hate you."

Marielena grinned at her, "I love you too."

"Don't you have dance class to teach?"

"Not for another hour, but I should get ready and warmed up. I'll see you for lunch?" She asked, and she had to carefully think over her schedule for the day.

"I don't think so. I have a meeting with my department head. He wants to go over a new layout for Play and it might run late."

"I don't know how you deal with him. He's a creep."

"Yeah, but what can I do? That's where I want to be and if I have to deal with a slightly pervert boss then so be it." She explained seriously as they arrived at the counter. "I'll have a hot tea with honey, two lemons, and a Splenda, please." She glanced over the pastries. "And a toasted bagel with cream cheese."

"Does Lyle know what's going on? I'll have mixed berry smoothie and a warm blueberry muffin, please."

She let out a curt laugh. "God, no. Can you imagine how he would react?"

"He'd tell your mom."

"After getting himself hurt for trying to protect me."

"He's your older brother, sweetie. That's what they do." Marielena said knowingly.

She rolled her eyes, "And as much as I love him for it, it's none of his business." She grabbed the drink and bagel from barista. "Thanks Jake. I'll see you guys later."

With that she left.

Taking a drink of her tea, she thought over what Marielena said. Logically, she knew her friend was right and that she should tell Lyle or someone what was going on and on several occasions she almost had, but then her mother's words from this morning echoed into her head.

Just leave well enough alone, Maya. You won't get anywhere by causing unnecessary trouble. Why won't you leave that god forsaken building and find a nice young man? You're not getting any younger and you're my only hope for grandchildren.

She repeated pressed the elevator button to release some tension from her body as her own words sprung to mind.

Because I love my job and I'm twenty-one years old. I'm a little young to worry about a family right now. And if Lyle would get off his ass and ask Marielena out then he could give you grandchildren. Now if you excuse me I have to get ready to go to that god forsaken building. Goodbye, mother.

She slapped the button as the door opened and she was thankful that no one was entering with her. She sighed tiredly leaning her side against the wall of the elevator, her finger hovering over the button to her floor before pushing a completely different one.

She had a brother to kill.

"Lyle Marcus Spaulding!" She shouted as she entered his office.

The man in question jumped, surprised at the sudden noise. Spinning in his chair, he flinched at the sight of his sister staring down at him with murder in her eyes.

"M-Maya! What are y-you doing here? Sh-should you be in your office?" He stuttered over as he stood up.

"Did you even come home last night?" She asked her brother already knowing the answer.

"La-last night? N-no I didn't. Uh-why?"

"Because mom called this morning wanting to talk to you, but no! You couldn't have been bothered to come home, so guess who had to deal with her overbearingness? That's right me!" She snapped making him cringe both in fear and sympathy.

"I'm sorry, Maya. I was doing some last minute things for the interviews today." He told her causing her to deflate as she moodily sat down on the couch that was in his office.

"She pulled the 'why don't you find a nice young man' card." She said bitterly as she pulled her feet up and lay back down. She sighed happily feeling the cushions form to her body.

Lyle had the best couch ever.

"You're twenty-one not thirty. You have plenty of time to find someone." Lyle reasoned.

She moved her head back to look at him with a doubtful look on her face. "You've met our mother right?" She asked sarcastically. "She also said that I'm her only hope for grandchildren."

"And this is why we don't go visit for the holidays all the time." He pointed out, turning back to his computer. Guilt welled up in her chest. She hated that their mother was always putting them down for something; if wasn't for her choice of career then it was Lyle's lack of love life.

"You know you could always just ask Marielena out and see what happens." She told him softly.

He tensed at her words; jaw tightening as he determinedly stared at his screen. "Lyle, she might just surprise you."

"She doesn't know who I am other then I'm your older brother." He informed her blandly.

She shook her head; wincing at the pain it brought her, "That's not true."

"The only time we talk is when she's informing me on when you veer off on your diet."

She rolled her eyes, "Fine. Whatever. I better get to my office." She said standing up; she finished off her tea, tossing it in the nearby trash can. "Will you be home tonight?" She asked making her to her brother.

"Yeah. I'll pick up dinner. Thai sound good?" He asked looking up at her, his head tilting back.

She poked his forehead before leaning down pressing a quick kiss. "Torchwood marathon?"

He grinned, nodding in agreement, "Awesome."

"I'll see you tonight."

"Wait-so you convinced them to allow two forty-something men with absolutely no skill in coding or anything computer related to become interns, how?" She asked incredulously as she snuggled back into the cushions with Captain Jack Harkness on screen and a container of Lime Chicken Stir Fry in her hand.

"I pulled the diversity called."

She let out a laugh while nodding in appreciation, "Nice. So, you do know that this is most definitely going to blow up in your face?"

"Oh, I know." He said after having a bite of his Baked Salmon in Red Curry Sauce.

"But it should be interesting."

Reviews are loved!

I actually have about five chapters done. I'm just about to write the Quidditch scene.

-ARF