I'm so inactive here holy shit.
Take this quick Katnep I got out based somewhat on the song You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol.
Katnep breaks me ahhh
All you ever wanted was for him to be happy. Even if it made you miserable, as long as he was happy, well, then it was okay. For as long as you could remember you have felt red for Karkat Vantas. Not just any sort of red either, oh no, this was bright, burning, toasting red. Some might even think that it was as strong as human love. Yes, that's what was… Love. You loved Karkat. You always have.
Even when Karkat rejected you, somehow, you still loved him. He put you down so gently too; an awkward apology followed by a small hug. Karkat didn't love you. He never did, and he probably never will. But that was alright because he was happy, even though you weren't. Being with you wouldn't have made him happy because you are not what he wants, nor will you ever be, even in death. So, you let him go his own way. You stopped chasing after him even though your heart ached and mourned for him. You watched him gain feelings for other people; people who weren't you and who would never be you. And that was okay because he was happy.
One of the most difficult things for you was watching his heart slowly break, just like yours did. He had to watch the person who he loved be with someone else… Just like you did. You could see it in his eyes, hear it in his speech, you could practically smell it on him. Karkat was heart broken. He wasn't happy. And because Karkat wasn't happy, well, you weren't either. You wanted to do something, anything. You wanted to dash up to him, softly pounce on him, and embrace him in your arms. You wanted to cry against him as he sobbed into your shoulder. You wanted him to take comfort in you. You wanted him to be happy. Alas, nothing you did made him happy. He wouldn't respond to your messages or your reassuring smiles from across the room. It broke your heart all over again to see him so unhappy.
All you wanted was for Karkat to be happy. You loved him with all of your heart, maybe even more than that, if it was possible. But right before the end of your life, things changed for the worse. Karkat's best friend snapped, and you had to watch your moirail die before your very eyes. You knew that killing Gamzee wouldn't make Karkat happy. He was still so unhappy, and harming someone close to him would only make it worse. However, you didn't really have a choice. Your instincts and love for your moirail encouraged you to leap out and strike at the high blood. However, things didn't go as planned… And now you're lying in a pool of your own sticky, warm, olive blood. Despite having the corpse of your moirail besides you, all you can think about is Karkat. Call yourself a bad pale mate, but what your heart craves right now is Karkat. You want to see him one last time. You want him to come rushing over. You want him to find your body, call out your name in agony, and rush over to you. You want him to pick you up gently and hold you in his arms like a grub. You want to smile at him as he cries and tell him that you love him more than anything. You want him to lean down and kiss your cold lips. You want to die in his arms, basked in his love.
You want a lot of things, most of which you cannot get. You lie on the ground in pain. You can feel the life draining from your aching body. Karkat isn't here and he's not coming either. But you know what…? That's okay. Because you know that he will be happy, even without you. Once all of the bad things blow over, he will be happy. All of your friends will be okay and everyone will be happy. Karkat will get to run to his matesprit, hold them in his arms, cry as they tell him how much they love him, and finally lean down and kiss them. Karkat will be happy, even though you will be dead. And that's okay. He'll get to do everything that he has always wanted to do without you there to hold him back. Sure, you will be the most miserable troll ever, but Karkat will be happy. Your tears and your pain don't matter as long as Karkat is happy.
You perish with a smile.