Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z.

Short Summary (so far):
Videl finds a mysterious dairy that reveals secret about her mothers and her past.

Hope you enjoy it!

About this chapter:
The first chapter of this fanfiction. Videl finds a dairy.
Note: The mood of this chapter may be quite gloomy. Don't worry, they won't all be like that.
Please take a little time to tell me what you and write a review! This is motivating for me.
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Chapter 1 - The Dairy, Part I

Evening was about to fall. The sun slowly dropped behind the mountains in the distance. Staring out the window Videl was sitting at the edge of her bed. It was utterly silent. It had been ever since mom died, and that was a long time ago. This new house only made it worse. Sitting there, alone, it was almost be hard to believe there where other people at all. Sitting there, it felt like being alone on the world, a world without anyone. The last rays of sunlight were fading. The room darkened. The clock ticked to 10 pm.

She stood up and opened the high window doors to the small balcony. There was cold breeze outside. The curtains waved with the wind. Everything was covered by the blueness of night. Dark blue clouds filled the sky. She gazed on the pond in the garden. She could hear frogs croaking. Wind rustled through the large trees. She thought about mom. The warmth of her touch, her kindness. How she always felt safe when she was around. She had always felt more connection with her mom then her dad. Especially now. Being in the spotlights brought out the worst in him. The media had taken him away. Driven him away from her. She could still sense the old him sometimes. Before all his fame. Then she could sense that somewhere he did love her. Somewhere. She sighed.

She stepped inside and closed the window. Turning to her desk she tidied away her homework and picked up her books. She put them on the shelf next to the others. Last year's books where still there. Better get them to the attic. Piling them up, she though aboutthe past year. What had happened? Not really that much. Sure, it had its moments, but it just seemed all unimportant in hindsight. Years where getting shorter and emptier. She stood up, carrying the pile of books into the long, marble hallway. Her footsteps echoed on the stone. She started climbing the stairs. She though of her childhood. Long ago, when mom was still alive. How can it be that when you are a child, you can be so carefree? That years can seem like ages and everyday is one on its own?

She arrived at the large wooden door of the attic. She pushed it open and clicked on the light, a single bulb hanging for the ceiling. There where large wooden beams supporting the sloped roof. The attic was filled with cardboard boxes. The air was dusty and smelled old. She put down the books on top of one of the boxes. Her eyes fell upon an old picture of her and her mom. She sat down next to the box and took out the picture. She was little on the picture, holding hands with her mother. It occurred to her how much she looked like her. Off course, her mother was a lot older, but apart from that they where in almost everything alike. The same long black hair, the same blue eyes.

She laid down the picture and looked back inside the box. It was full of old things. As see searched through the things she could hear rain drops starting to fall on the roof. Her eyes fell upon a small and old-looking black book. Gently picking it up, she wiped of the dust. On its cover there was a golden ring interwoven with a triangle, made out of three leaf-like shapes. She turned the cover. On the first page was written, in handwriting:

To Lucile,
My only daughter.
May you write in this book
All your life's best moments
And your times of despair
May it be a listing ear
When there is no one to talk to
And you feel alone

Though I cannot be with you
And I cannot come back
I want you to be strong
Believe in yourself
As I do
Mom

She stared at the words. Lucile. Her mother.

She did not know what to make of it. All kinds of question rushed through her head and a cold feeling filled her throat. The rain began to intensify. Wind whistled around the roof. She turned the page.

"Why did you have to go mom? Why? I don't want you to leave! It's not fair! I'm just eleven! I miss you, and daddy misses you too. Even though he does not say it, I see it in his eyes. He loves you mom, and so do I. I secretly hope that, someday, you would show up. That I would look out the window and you would be sitting there, below your tree. Sitting there, staring, like so often. I always wondered what you where thinking about when you sat there. You seemed so calm, but worried. You always were. Like you were expecting something bad that never came. I don't know. I miss you. I know you can't be here right now, I understand, but know you will always be with me, somehow."

Videl had pulled a blanket around her. Rain clattered on the roof. The large wooden beams moaned under the forces of the whistling wind. Only the light bulb emitted a dim and flickering light across the darkness, like a boat sailing the waves of the endless ocean at night. She turned the page.

"Dad took me to the lake today. He thought me how to fish. Dad caught a weird looking black fish with red stripes. He said it was really rare. It was huge, too. I also caught three small fish. I put them in a bucket with water and brought them home. I put all kinds of plants in there, so they can be happy in there new home. Dad said plants are very important to fish, so I swam the entire afternoon trying to find nice ones. I hope they like it. They reminded me of us. How we used to be, the three of us. I wish you were here with us, mommy."

"I had a dream last night. I was walking in the woods next to our house. It was night. Then I see a rabbit. A white rabbit. But when I come closer it hops away. I follow it. It hops faster and faster. I start running, between the trees, over tree trunks and rocks, chasing the rabbit, but I can't catch up with it. Then the woods end and I am at the beach. The waves clash against the rocks. I see the rabbit hopping into the sea. Then I see another white rabbit coming out of the woods, it too runs into the sea. Suddenly more and more white rabbits start coming out of the woods and running aimlessly into the sea. Then I turn around and then I see you. You, sitting below your tree, staring at the moon. Everything is covered in moonlight. You look at me, but you don't move. Then you turn back, gazing at the moon. I run towards you but I don't get any closer. The ground disappears below my feet and I fall, I fall into endless nothingness. I wake up. I went to the window, but the spot under three was empty."

Videl pulled the blanket tighter around her and read the next entry.

"Dad and I went out walking today. We walked through the forest, all the way to the beach. The trees have dropped their leaves and the ground is covered with colors. We didn't stay very long at the beach; there are cold winds there this time of year. I did collect some shells. I found a really large and pointy one. You can hear the sea in it. Back at home dad made rabbit. We haven't had it in a long time. Dad doesn't go out hunting that often anymore. That same night I sat under your tree. Just in the spot were you used to sit. I just sat there, looking at the full moon. I like the moon. It reminds me of you."

"I was thinking today and I think it has been a full year since you left. Nowadays during the day I'm usually out playing in the woods, and dad works around the house or goes fishing. We eat a lot of fish. There plenty of things to eat in the woods though. It's mostly berries and nuts, though there are some apple trees near the lake. I like those apples. In the evenings we sit around the fireplace and then dad tells me stories. He knows lots of them. One night he told me a story about an abandoned baby fox that was found by a group of rabbits. The rabbits cared for the fox and raised him as they did their baby rabbits. The fox had never seen another fox and thus thought he was one of the rabbits. He knew he was different somehow - he looked different - but he never really could make sense of it. Then one day a group of foxes showed up. They hunted the rabbits, and did not understand why a fox was with the rabbits without trying to eat them. They told the fox that he should hunt the rabbits, eat them, because that is what foxes do, it is in their blood. The fox replied: 'It is not your blood that makes you who you are, it is what you do. I might have the body and blood of a fox, from the inside I am not'. And so the fox said. He scared away the foxes, and lived on with the rabbits, where he belonged. It really liked that story. It's my favorite."

Videl turned the page.

"Dad is ill. He hadn't really been completely well the entire week, but yesterday it got worse. He was sweating and he past out while walking down the stairs. I gave him water, which brought him back to his senses, but he isn't really able to do anything. He is in bed now and he has really warm and is sweating a lot. I did try to cook him the fish he caught, but I never really cooked before and I burned it. Today there was no fish left so I went to the lake to try and catch one. It was hard, couldn't remember how to. I tried, the entire afternoon, but only managed to catch two tiny fish. I decided to get the food that I did know how to get. Berries and nuts. I also went to the lake to get some apples. I picked the best ones. I filled an entire basket and put it next to dad's bed. He voice is sharp and hoarse but he said he'll be fine. He just needs to stay warm. I hope he gets better soon."

"It has been three more days and dad is still ill. He shivering, but I can hardly imagine he is cold, he is still sweating heavily. He can hardly talk. I collect berries, nuts and apples every day, but dad hardly eats. He somehow lost his appetite. Meanwhile I'm trying to do all the stuff around the house but I'm having a hard time. Most of this stuff I've never done before. I'm trying the best I can, but it's often not good enough. I feel so hopeless sometimes. I wish you were here, mom."

"Dad has gotten worse. He feels even warmer than before. He even started mumbling all kinds of weird things. It scares me. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to get him to drink the water but he doesn't seem to understand what I'm saying anymore. He is shaking too. I got to do something. I'm thinking about going to the city to get help, but it's a two days walk at least. It can't leave him that long, not like this. Maybe I can do it faster if I hurry. I don't even know for sure, I never actually been to the city. I feel so helpless. Help me, mom. I can't do this alone. I just don't know what to do."

A storm had started. Thunder roared outside. The light bulb swayed back and forth from the wire it hang from. Videl sat there, wrapped in the blanket, eyes pealed to the book. She flipped the page.

"He is gone. He just stopped moving. It's not fair! Why does it have to be like this? It shouldn't be like this. Why? Why?! I still can't believe it. It's just so unreal. I should have done something! I don't know what but I should have. Then he might still be alive! How did it come this far? What am I going to do? I still can't believe… but it's true. It's true and I will have to deal with it. But I don't want it to be. And I don't know if I can. I feel so alone. I feel hopelessly helpless. Mommy, I need you! I can't do this. Not alone."

That did it for chapter 1. Please review!