Thanks to Pinenapple and Dances with Vampires for their selfless acts to beta and MrsSadhbhPattinson for all you do.

All things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyers. This is only fanfiction and no copyright infringement is intended.

This story has angst with hope. I am a believer in love and happy endings, especially for B & E. This is Rated MA for profanity, sexually explicit language, abortion and any other reason as deemed necessary.

CHAPTER 1 – JUST ME AND MY GUYS

Free At Last from the Tony Award winning musical "Big River"

I wish by golly I could spread my wings and fly

And let my grounded soul be free for just a little while

To be like eagles when they ride upon the wind

And taste the sweetest taste of freedom for my soul

Another message blinked on my cell phone. It was from my dad. I wasn't ignoring him - I loved him - I just didn't want to talk to him, because I was being forced to do something I vowed I'd never do again. Well, forced wasn't exactly the right word. I was being manipulated.

I was his only child and I hadn't spent much time with him since the day I graduated from high school. We had a telephone relationship, which wasn't very demanding or verbose. We had short conversations, nothing too deep or personal. Once we said the casual how-are-you and glad-you're-alive, silence filled the air. We seldom hugged or expressed our feelings – we shared a mutual awkwardness with such things.

I wasn't concerned that he was persistent and unusually excited, because I knew why he was calling. Charlie, my dad, was as consistent as brown gravy and just as comforting. He called every year around the same time in hopes of changing my living situation and getting me to come home. I didn't see it as a bad omen that he had finally trapped me into a visit to Forks for my twenty-fourth birthday.

I hated my birthday. It marred my adulthood, a reminder of something so distressing that I didn't think about. Charlie didn't understand how much I hated my birthday. He sent cards and gifts; he sang Happy Birthday to You over the phone. He wanted to celebrate. This year, he made plans and expected me to participate

I hoped everything would be fine and tried not to be pessimistic. I wasn't certain where I found a slight tinge of impractical optimism when I agreed to celebrate my birthday. I hadn't had a happy birthday since I turned seventeen and I tried to forget each one since my eighteenth. That was the year I was broken, left in the woods, no longer wanted. I didn't think about that – it wasn't time.

"Hey Ch – Dad" My phone rang again. "I know why you're calling and yes, we'll be there on Friday next." I held the phone in the crook of my neck. My dad wasn't the only one looking forward to the trip to Forks. In fact, all the men in my life were happy about our vacation.

"Good, I've got plenty of fishing to do with that grandson of mine and I can't wait for you to cook our catch."

My dad was an avid fisher and fishing came second only to his love for sports. He never had a son and his uncoordinated daughter couldn't walk straight on smooth surfaces without tripping.

"Dad, he can barely tie his shoelaces, I'm not sure he's ready to bait a hook." I looked down at the brown haired boy curled up on my lap as he played with his matchbox red Ferrari. He had my dad's curly hair and sense of fairness and thankfully, he didn't inherent my clumsiness.

"That's what granddads are for, Bells."

"Well, I'll let the two of you figure it out, then."

"You bet we will. So how long are you guys staying? You know HeritageFestivalWeek starts the day you arrive."

The event was in its fifth year of celebrating the heritage of the Quileute Nation. Heritage Festival Week coincided with my birthday. I believed it was no happenstance, that my best friend Jacob Black had obviously had a hand in picking the dates. He hoped that I'd come home during the bane of my year, a ready distraction.

I wasn't involved in the planning of the trip, but somehow Charlie convinced Garrett, my boyfriend to handle the particulars. Between my dad, Jacob, Garrett and my son, I was outnumbered. I held my breath.

"We're staying the entire week, Dad." Forks! A whole week. It would be miserable. My hand stroked the chestnut curls of Tiger's head.

"That's good." Charlie didn't say why he thought it was good, but I knew. His unspoken thoughts were obvious. I was more prone to emotional breakdowns around my birthday and it would be good for me to create new memories.

I wanted Tiger and Charlie to know each other. That's why I agreed to go to Forks. It would be a long trip for Tiger, but he had boundless energy, enough to keep me focused on him, instead of a reunion with my memories.

"We're renting a car at the airport, so we'll meet you at the house around five."

"Okay. Sounds great!"

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells?"

"We'll see you soon." The words hung in the air with unspoken sentiment – it would be good to see him.

"Bye, Bells."

I clicked the 'end' button and tossed the phone on the table beside the brown couch we sat on. We were both dressed for bed, Tiger in his favorite Diego pajama shorts - no shirt because 'Daddy doesn't sleep in shirts - and me in a spaghetti strap cotton nightgown. It was a fall evening in Los Angeles, which meant it was scorching hot even at 8:30.

"You ready for bed, Tiger?" I gave him a kiss on the forehead and tickled his sides. He giggled and I couldn't help but laugh too. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek. He was nothing like his parents; he easily expressed his emotions.

"Mom, can't I stay up and wait for Daddy?" It was the same question every night.

"Not tonight. Daddy won't be home for at least six Diego shows and that's long after you're supposed to be asleep." He didn't have a good sense of time except when it came to his favorite television show. . .the only one he was allowed to watch at least.

"Aw man! Why's he always at work?" He leaned his head to the side, stuck out his bottom lip and threw his tiny hands up in the air and landed on his lap. To a four-year-old, 'always' meant now.

"Tonight's the last night he has to work late and guess what happens tomorrow?"

"What?" His chocolate brown eyes sparkled with excitement.

"He won't work tomorrow and you'll spend the whole day with your dad."

"Just me and my dad?" A wide jubilant smile appeared as he bounced up and down on my lap.

"Yes, just Tiger and Daddy."

His excitement and smile were contagious. He would be a heartbreaker just like his dad. Heartbreaker. Just a metaphor, Bella. It wasn't time yet. It was difficult to hold myself together in front of Tiger, but I did. Tiger didn't like to see me cry and he had bad memories of a particularly awful breakdown. I wouldn't put him through that again.

"'Man time,' Daddy calls it. Are you going to miss us? Cause mommies can't come."

"Yes. But don't worry about me, you'll have so much fun and you can bring me back something special. Okay?"

"Okay. Can you give me something special?" His eyes were framed with thick eyelashes that made it impossible to deny him anything. He was a beautiful child.

"You know I always have something special just for you. What will it be? Hmm? Special kisses? Special hugs? Special. . .I know, special tickles!" He leapt from my lap and sprinted to his bedroom. I followed closely behind.

Tiger flew under the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball comforter on his bed. "I've got some special tickles to give," I said teasingly. I pulled back the comforter and tickled him.

"Thank you!" He yelled our code word to stop.

"You're welcome. Now, what are we reading tonight?"

"You know!" He rolled his twinkling eyes and passed me the book that was on the corner of the night stand, the same book I read whenever his daddy was away, Just Me and My Dad. The next night he'd listen to Just Me and My Mom because I'd be away.

I kissed my sleeping tiger on the cheek and closed his bedroom door, relieved that I held myself together for another night.

The tears fell daily until about three years ago, when I learned to hold myself together for up to thirty days. It wasn't easy. I hoped it wouldn't take ten years to rid myself of the emotional turmoil caused by – no, it wasn't time.

I walked into the living room and picked up my laptop, to work on an assignment for school. I was in my final semester of college. I had Tiger at the end of my freshman year and that plus changing my major from English to Education put me on the six year track to graduation. I had finally completed enough coursework to graduate mid-term, if I passed my last two online classes. I reviewed the grading rubric and edited my senior thesis. I don't know when I fell asleep, but I woke up to gentle kisses on my cheek.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty," Garrett whispered.

"Where've you been?"

"You know." He touched my arm, continuing to kiss me along my jaw line.

"You left me." My voice was thick with pain and sleep.

"I never left, Swan."

I felt his warm lips on my cheeks and my eyes popped open to Garrett. His blue eyes were full of hurt as he realized I hadn't been fully awake.

"Oh, Garrett," I murmured. I attempted to cover for my semi-conscious error and reached out to touch him. He leaned away and frowned. Garrett was patient with me and didn't believe my monthly emotional problem was permanent. After six years of being together, his patience waned, but we didn't talk about it. He was too reserved to express his hurt and anger.

It's said that women pick men just like their fathers and, in some ways, Garrett was just like my dad. They both enjoyed sports and fishing, reserved in their affections, often unsure whether they had a right to feel. Most times they went with the flow, but they were very opinionated when it came to doing the right thing, the safe thing.

"Good thing we have 'man time' tomorrow." He turned his six foot two muscled frame away from me and walked into the kitchen. I could tell from the tone of his words that he was ready to give up. He was never reserved with his wise cracks, another thing he had in common with my dad.

"Yeah, Tiger is looking forward to it. He's made me read the book every night this week." I walked over to Garrett and stroked his arm. "I'm sorry, it'll be better when I come back."Shit, I did it again. I couldn't help it. It wasn't time and I couldn't control it.

"Yeah, I know Swan. You just caught me off guard."

"Me too." He knew the story, but we wouldn't talk about it. No, we wouldn't. It wasn't time yet.

I took his plate from his hands and placed it in the microwave to warm the spaghetti he'd found in the refrigerator. "Let me do it." I cooked earlier and added a salad for him. We sat at the table; I listened while he ate and told me about his long day at work and the people he had helped.

It was Garrett's last year of residency and we'd move to Georgia as soon as he was done. We met my first day in college; he pursued me relentlessly, if you can call it a pursuit. He always seemed to be around and he was easy to talk to. After nearly a month, he asked me out. One thing led to another and somehow, not long after that first date, Tiger was born. Garrett gave so much more than I could, and was satisfied with me. He loved me and I didn't understand it, but I didn't see how not to love him back.

Swiftly, I cleaned the dishes, picked up my laptop and followed Garrett to bed. It had been a long day and the next would be even longer. I would leave by six in order to. . .no, I didn't think about that. . .it wasn't time yet.

Garrett was already in bed. He motioned for me to come to him. Without hesitation, I dumped my laptop, turned out the light, and surrendered to his warm arms. It was easy. Garrett made it easy.

"You're too good for me, Garrett, I whispered.

"You're too good for me, Swan." He took my arms and wrapped them around his strong neck. He called me by my last name, mainly because his subtle southern drawl always made 'Bella' sound like he was calling hogs while 'Swan' sounded like he was admiring something treasured. I loved his voice. It helped me to focus on the present and I stayed there in his arms, in the now.

I stroked his neck and pulled on his shirt. "I don't know why you wear these to bed."

"I like that you take off my clothes." He stretched his muscled arms out of his t-shirt. I caressed his arms as he reached around my waist. I rested my hands around his shoulders pulling him closer so I could place kisses along his chin. Our lips met in an open-mouthed kiss, warm deep and passionate. His hand reached under my shirt, smoothing up my back and then to my breast.

I sighed away the stress of our tiff as his tongue danced in my mouth greedily while his hand tickled the hardening nipples of my breast. There was nothing else for me at this moment, as I caressed the nape of his neck with one hand while the other began to fondle his ribbed chest.

There were mutual moans as he readjusted himself to place me astride his lap. I rocked my hips as my nightgown disappeared from my body. It always amazed me how my stomach warmed to the pressure of his manhood.

Garrett didn't move when I got up the next morning. He was tired from all his long hours at work, but he wouldn't be able to sleep in since Tiger would wake him within a few hours. When I was ready to go, I shook him awake.

"I'm leaving."

"Okay. Do you need me to carry your things down?"

"No, I just have my book bag and laptop."

"Call me when you get there."

"Tell Tiger I love him. I'll meet you back here tomorrow morning and you'd better not have on a shirt." He worked out religiously, making his body much too gorgeous to cover.

"Hurry back to me, gorgeous Isabella Swan." I heard Garrett whisper as I closed the door and headed south to the Mohave Desert.

Garrett and Tiger – I like them! Problem for E&B happily ever after? Yes, but I like them and they aren't the major hurdle. Tell me what you think. It's time.