"What is it?" Robin stopped in his tracks outside the med lab when he heard Raven's question. He turned back and could see his three teammates who weren't sick in bed staring at the computer screen, displaying his vital signs. Something was wrong with him, but they didn't see fit to inform him? He stepped out of view to where he could eavesdrop.
"The reagent in Slade's mask didn't trigger itself," he heard Cyborg report. "There was a signal." About a nanosecond or two later, Robin's heart stopped as he braced himself for what he knew what must be coming next. "Somebody triggered it." Cyborg paused. Robin didn't stick around long enough to hear him unnecessarily add "From outside the tower," failing to stop that instant of silence that would allow the truth to set in for the Titans.
Robin walked silently and slowly down the hall to his room, trying not to moan as every step made the bruises and fractures all over his body shudder in pain. Seconds ago, he had finally accepted that Slade was gone forever, that only his obsession gave him life. He now felt the same shame all over again that he had felt upon learning that he had nearly been killed by an illusion of his arch nemesis.
His arch nemesis. That was what the evil, masked, mysterious Slade was to Robin. He had repeatedly tried to destroy an entire city, blackmailed him into being his slave, tried to kill his friends, nearly destroyed his home, and caused the death of one of his friends, all only for the purpose of making Robin's life miserable. He wasn't like the teen hero's other enemies, criminals and evildoers whom he simply stopped from hurting the innocent. Protecting others was easy; when someone was after you and only you, your job wasn't to protect but to destroy, to fight and resist, to attack first, and to defeat. Slade was within his very skin, plastered to his heart and mind even more abundantly than the walls of his bedroom. He dreamt about him at night, dwelled on him during the day, wondered during every spare moment who he really was and why he was really after him.
Yet, Robin didn't fear him. It was worse; he hated him with a deep loathing so dark and dangerous, it made him lose his mind. Tonight just had to be the night he opened that box and unleashed the dark insanity that he had let Slade make of his mind.
By the time he reached his door, he was in the mood for anything but a good night's sleep. As he stood still and stared around his walls, taking in every image he had saved of his rival, he suddenly could no longer feel the excruciating pain and exhaustion from tonight's massacre. Flashbacks echoed in his head. I am the thing that keeps you up at night. The evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind. I will never rest, and neither will you. He was angry, no, furious, and so ashamed. How could he have bought it? Your friends can't see the truth, Robin. I am very real. Could you have gotten all those bruises from someone who wasn't there? How could he have fallen for such a classic trick so easily? Because he wanted to. He realized something for the first time since Terra's death. He had never been logically sure that Slade was alive; he had hoped he was. Seeing Terra defeat him was not good enough. Unless he, Robin, defeated his nemesis himself, he might as well have fought him and lost.
And tonight he did lose. He let him invade his mind and body and demolish him from the inside out. Already out of breath? Our time apart may have made you soft, but it has only made me stronger. And he put up no resistance. He played right along and fought almost to the death. You're not real. ... I'm real enough to finish you. If Slade's new tactic was to disappear and let Robin destroy himself, it was proving effective. What if he never returned? What if Robin never got the chance he was hungering for to defeat him? He would really go insane. It was an addiction, he knew it, and he knew that Slade probably knew it and was enjoying it. Slade couldn't scare him, but the thought of him winning this battle scared him more than anything in his life. You can't even touch me. How can you save a city, Robin, when you can't save yourself?
He wasn't the only one in danger. He remembered what had happened next... I have to stop him! I'm the only one who can! I'll take down anyone who gets in my way! ... I'll take down anyone who gets in my way! ... I'll take down anyone... He would never forget that; threatening his team. When had he ever sunk so low? Hours before, of course: Slade ran right by you! How could you let him get away? ... You're hurting me! ... How could you let him get away? ... You're hurting me! You're hurting me! He couldn't decide which words were more painful to remember.
The Titans were right. The more you fought, the more harm it did to you. ... And anybody else who got in the way. But he had to fight, or he would be in Slade's power forever. He now knew for sure that his enemy was alive and still after him. He would also take down anyone who got in his way. Robin's friends were in danger as long as he was. He knew that no matter what he did about Slade, they would stand by him and want to help, but he would not risk their lives, too. Nor did he want any help. He hadn't been able to let go when someone else defeated his enemy before. He couldn't let go unless he won alone.
Robin unstrapped the Titans communicator, the symbol that said he was a Teen Titan, from his belt and stared at it for a long time. He didn't speak until he had made a decision, staring at his reflection in the metal as if formally charging himself with what lay ahead. "There's only one thing to do."
"You've all had your share of arch enemies, too, so I hope you'll understand that you can't help me anymore than we could help Starfire defeat Blackfire for the throne; it would only make things worse if I don't do this by myself. I don't like it either, but this is the way it has to be. Don't worry about me. I don't know how long it will take, but I promise I'll be back." Cyborg finished reading the note Starfire found tacked to her door this morning, along with Robin's communicator. He couldn't think of anything to say. Starfire snatched the communicator from him, and cried, "We must go. We must find Robin. He is all alone, and Slade is after him, and so many terrible things could..."
"We haven't the faintest idea of where to look," Raven calmly cut her off.
"But we cannot let him run away from us to find Slade!" Starfire panicked. "He does not have the most faint idea of where to look either!"
"He's not looking for him, Star," Cyborg said. "Slade'll find him wherever he goes. He just wants to get away before anyone else gets hurt, and have some room to think, you know."
"But would he not have some destination in mind before leaving us?" Starfire continued. "There must be a way to find him! There must!"
"Think he went to Gotham City?" Beast Boy suggested. "Doesn't he have family there, or something?"
The others stared blankly at their perpetually clueless friend. "Or something," Raven answered, sarcastically. "I think that's pretty much one place we can be sure he won't go."
"So what do we do?" said Beast Boy.
"Nothing we can do," said Cyborg, moving to the window. "He's hours away by now. All we can do is wait and trust him. This is Robin we're talking about. He knows what he's doing."
Robin was not quite "hours" away. He had taken as much time as necessary to pack some clothes, weapons, and other essentials, doctor up his wounds as best as he could, and get a few hours' sleep to conserve his energy before speeding out of town on the R-Cycle. He had no plan and no destination; just an adrenaline rush to get moving and take the curse of Slade with him. "He'll follow me. He'll watch me. He'll play with me and torture me like he always has. This time, I'll be the one calling the shots. I have nothing to lose. None of my friends are in danger..." He suddenly wondered whether they would understand as well as he hoped. Sure, Cyborg had never shown more resolve than when he turned down Brother Blood's offer to serve him in exchange for his human body back, and Starfire had never fought harder or had more to lose than when she faced Blackfire one-on-one on Tamaran, and Beast Boy had hated Terra for awhile as much as he hated Slade. But... "Why does everything always happen to me?" He was angry again, and he didn't fight it. Anger is more comfortable than loneliness, after all. "None of them have an obsessive-compulsive villain breathing down their neck, and lurking just around the corner of their eye, and devoting all their time and resources to getting YOU! I'm his hobby! I wonder if this has ever happened to anyone else?"