A man in a purple suit walked into a bar.
The people in said bar stared at him, all of them shocked.
But none dared to move for fear of being shot down.
Cowards.
The man sat at a table and started eyeing the menu.
His deep red lips spread into a smile as he held up a hand, staring intensely at one of the barmen and proclaiming, "a Dr. Pepper and a plate of chips my dear sir!"
The youngest of the barmen hurried over with the drink.
He was either brave or stupid enough to say that the chips would be ready in a few minutes.
Tension in the bar grew. The others standing or sitting still, staring, shocked, now at the young barman whom they were amazed had the ability to speak to this man.
This man who had killed so many, with so little effort.
This man who was now looking the barman up and down, his smile grew wider. "I'm looking forward to them."
The barman gave a small bow and hurried off towards the kitchen.
"And they better be good or else heads might roll!" The man yelled after him and laughed maniacally as he took a sip of his drink.
The surrounding people tried to act normal, scared to move too fast, terrified of their seemingly imminent death.
Disgusting.
Having to live in the same world as these things? People.
Does that woman in the black coat even know how many people died at the hand of the ones who made that drink?
The man, who everyone was scared of, he knew.
That was one of the things that disgusted him.
That these people would do things like that to each other, then have the nerve to call him a monster.
That's one of the reasons why he found it so funny.
Them.
Oh.
But whats this?
One of them, a woman, had stood up, and not to leave, as a few others slowly had.
How odd.
The barman rushed over, carrying a large plate of chips, temporarily blocking his view of the woman.
The man picked up one of the larger chips, dipping it in tomato ketchup and shoving it into his mouth, all the while keeping his large green eyes fixed on the woman.
She looked sort of like that Lois Lain woman who's always being saved by superman, if she put on a few pounds and died her hair red.
She looked rather pretty really.
Dressed almost entirely in white, with a green scarf.
She sat down at the table, next to the man who everyone else was scared of, and she took one of his chips.
He would have killed her there and then if he wasn't so confused.
"You're the Joker aren't you?" She smiled sincerely.
He nodded.
She knew who he was, yet she wasn't scared. She didn't run.
"Why are you talking to me?"
He felt he had to ask.
"Why not? You seem like an interesting person."
She waved her hand and asked the barman for a coffee.
"I take it you want something from me?" He asked, still amused by her presence.
"Just to talk."
He was sure that meant yes.
"That can't be all, if you know who I am you wouldn't just want to talk."
"I thought it'd be fun to meet someone whom I admired."
Joker had an obviously confused look on his face, although he was still grinning, he couldn't hide it.
"You admire me? Well I'm no celebrity, but it's always nice to meet a fan." His grin consumed his face.
At least now he'd found a reason for her talking to him.
"But I must say I do have some questions."
She stirred the coffee she had just been handed.
"Oh but that wouldn't be just talking miss, that would be more of an interview, or interrogation even."
"Well it's almost impossible to talk to someone without asking questions isn't it?"
Joker laughed, loudly and unashamedly.
She looked at him. She was smirking, like she had just won an argument.
"Then would you mind if I asked the first couple of questions, miss?"
She nodded happily.
"Firstly: whats your name? Secondly: why do you say you admire me?"
He scoffed some more of his chips and took another swig of his drink.
"Well if you don't mind sir, I'd rather keep my name secret, but call me... Amanda."
She sipped her coffee and Joker waited intently for the answer to his second question.
He was intrigued by her.
"I admire you because you've done so much."
He smiled "what is it I've done that impresses you, Amanda?"
"You've thrown off the shackles of society, you do whatever you want and work for people because you want to, not because you have to. You don't have to worry about paying rent or if something you say will offend people. All you have to worry about is not getting caught by the police, which doesn't look too hard, and then batman of course, but I've seen you interact with him and it's obvious that you enjoy that."
She sighed.
"Your life just looks so amazing."
And just like that almost all of the confusion Joker had felt before had gone. Now he knew all he needed to about her.
This was brilliant, he thought. Joker had found a mind to break, he hadn't had one since Harley's.
And he did miss Harley.
In his own way.
And this mind wanted to be broken, that would be new, that sort of opportunity had never arisen before.
"So you've grown bored of your lifestyle, you get home from your boring job, most likely working in a clothes shop with other girls who you don't get on with, you feed your cat and then you clean its shit, then you watch the reruns of your favorite old TV shows and go to sleep."
She took another sip of coffee.
"Did I get all that right, Amanda?"
"Yes, although I have several cats, not just one."
He cocked his head.
"Aren't you amazed at my detective skills?"
She smiled.
"I would be if I didn't know you so well."
He laughed.
"No one knows me that well, except maybe Batman," he said defensively.
"Well no, but I know most of your little tricks."
Joker started to feel a little uncomfortable.
"So now I have a stalker?"
She laughed, a booming effervescent laugh.
"No, but you're the one who shows almost all his stunts on TV, and you're always on the news. How am I supposed to not notice what you do?"
"And you know all about me from watching me on TV?"
"Oh of course not, no one can 'know all about' someone else. That's just impossible. I just said I know most of your little tricks. I'm sure that doesn't add up to me knowing even a tiny bit about you."
"No, it doesn't. To be honest, I don't even know all about me!" He laughed, mockingly.
"I guess not, but umm, I wouldn't mind knowing more about you."
She slid her hand over the table to touch his.
He smirked.
"Now I don't think that's how we want this to go," he whispered.
She blushed and retracted her hand, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
She giggled.
"You know you did really Amanda."
She stopped smiling.
"Really? Is that what you want?" Joker smiled.
She smiled again.
"Well I suppose there's nothing wrong with being friends, then."
Joker laughed.
"I guess not."
Joker tapped her arm.
"It's always good to make new friends." He tittered.
"Well, Miss Amanda, I hate to leave you in such a way, but I really do have to go."
"What? Really? But we've only just started talking."
"I know, I know, it sucks but I have someone I have to talk to, and he just appeared at the window."
He pointed towards the window where a short fat man, wearing a top hat and holding an umbrella, was waiting.
He ate the the last few chips on his plate and stood up.
"I'll see you again some time though, won't I?" She looked at him almost longingly.
He gave a monumental smile. The man, whom she wasn't afraid of.
"I'll make sure of it, Miss."
Always one to leave them wanting more.
As he walked towards the door the barman stood up and started towards him.
"Excuse me, sir? You didn't pay for your chips and drink sir."
Idiot.
"Oh yes my dear man, do you take cards?"
He threw a card at him. It floated in front of him for a second before landing on the floor. A joker stared up from it.
Amanda laughed at this classic Joker move.
The barman looked up at him.
The man in the purple suit walked out of the bar.
"Was that some sort of joke?" The barman asked.