Disclaimer: I do not own HP
"It was this big!" said James.
"Stop exaggerating, Potter, it was this big," snapped Severus. He had been kidnapped and made to watch "My Little Hippogryff" movies until he agreed to go on the annual Marauder's Fishing Trip.
"Would you two be quiet!" yelled Remus. "I'm trying to read!"
"Let's measure it!" piped Peter excitedly. Sirius rolled his eyes. "We already released it, idiot."
"We'll catch another one," said James. He turned to Severus and mouthed, "It was so this big!"
A moment later, James was hanging from a tree, and Severus had a black eye. Both were panting hard.
"Okay. Let's compromise, shall we?" Sirius said, smirking. "Lily hates both of you."
James attempted to kick his "friend", but missed and dislodged himself from the tree. He fell back into the fishing boat, catapulting Peter out of the boat and downstream.
Remus reached out of the boat to help, but it was too late: A moment later the four heard, "WATERFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!" and a loud splash.
"Ah, well," said Remus. "He is going to die in twenty-four years anyways. I'm reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!" He held it up for all to see.
"Who's Harry Potter?" asked James.
Sirius looked over Remus's shoulder. "He's just your son," he said casually.
"I have a SON in there? I'm MARRIED?" Who am I married to?"
"McGonagall," said Sirius sarcastically. "You're married to Lily, who do you think?"
James smiled. Sirius slapped him. Severus turned to Remus…
"He's married to who?!?"
"You heard him," said James. "I'm married to Lily."
"What's wrong, Snivellus?" said Sirius. "Jealous, are we?" "Snivellus" struggled as his face grew red. "You know what I think, Snivelly?" said Sirius. "I think you—"
But no one ever heard what Sirius thought, as Remus had just slammed his book shut, cursing.
"What's the matter, Moony?" James asked.
"I just died!" said Remus. And with that, he chucked his book over the waterfall.