A/N: Harry is openly gay, Neville wants to explore. Harry soon realizes that making love to Neville is clearly not a good idea. SLASH! Oneshot! Challenge-fic! Takes place in 6th year, and I don't own HP.

You're Not Doing It Right!

Chapter 1

Neville took a deep breath, then walked into the Great Hall and towards the Golden Trio.

"Um, Harry?"

Harry looked up, blinking curiously a Neville.

"Um, can I ask you something in private?"

"See you later," Harry said over his shoulder to Ron and Hermione before making his way out of the Hall with Neville.

"Now what's up?" he asked, leaning against a wall.

"Well, um, see, you're gay, and lately I've been thinking a lot about blokes-" Neville trailed off.

Harry caught on quickly. "Oh, I see. Want to do a bit of exploring, do you?"

"Yeah, but, see, the thing is, I'm a virgin," Neville blushed beet red.

"Doesn't matter to me," Harry replied with a shrug, then began walking off.

"Where are we going?" Neville asked, catching up with his friend.

"The Dormitories. Where else?" Harry smirked, and they walked to Gryffindor Tower.

HPNLHPNLHPNLHPNL

"OW! Neville, you're not doing it right!" Harry growled, shifting his hips over to a more comfortable position while glaring over his shoulder at the other boy.

"Sorry, Harry, but I can't fit it in right!" Neville apologized in despair.

"Oh, Merlin, help me," Harry moaned.

At that moment the door flung open and Ron Weasley burst in. "Hey, Ha-" he stopped, his face paling.

"Ron, are you-?"

"AAAH!" Ron ran down the stairs screaming like a girly git.

"What's happened?" The rest of the 6th years asked in unision.

Ron ran straight past them, still screaming, and out of the Common Room.

"We better go find out what's happened," Hermione gasped in shock, and she, Lavender Brown, Collin Creevey, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, and Ginny Weasley all raced up the stairs to the Dormitories.

They froze, gaping at the scene in front of them, and then Seamus let out a girlish shriek and hurried down the stairs and out of the Common Room. The rest of them followed his lead and practically ran into Professor McGonagall.

"What is the meaning of this?" she asked.

They chose not to answer and instead rushed past her, wanting to get as far away from Gryffindor Tower as possible.

McGonagall huffed and stepped inside the Common Room, heading towards the Boys' Dormitories.

She gaped at the scene before her. Longbottom and Potter were…

"SHIELD YOUR EYES!" She screamed, hurrying out of the Common Room and pushing past Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape.

"Shield your-? What the bloody hell is she talking about?" Draco asked.

"Let's find out," Severus replied, stepping into the Common Room.

"Why do we keep getting interrupted?" Harry snapped, glaring at his two ex-boyfriends. "Neville's finally figured out how to do me properly, and you had to interrupt!"

Draco Malfoy fainted right there in the doorway, and Severus caught him and hurried out of the Common Room.

"Oh, Merlin, what do you want now?" Harry groaned as Dumbledore entered. After Severus and Draco had left, Cho Chang, Luna Lovegood, Trelawney, Hagrid, and Flitwick had all been in his room, and he was getting rather fed up with it.

"Can I join you?" Dumbledore asked.

"Hell no!" Harry replied, and used his wand to slam the door shut and lock it.

END