A/N: I don't know, it's just more nonsense procrastination. But hopefully it's good nonsense procrastination!

The Killing Curse

The first time it happened to me was at the very start of my fourth year at Hogwarts. My best friend Sirius Black and I were walking down platform 9 ¾ after a break that seemed much too long. We were singing a loud, harmonious duet as we attempted to push our way through the churning masses of students that populated the platform.

"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, hoggy warty Hogwarts, teach us something please…" Dumbledore had enjoyed our lyrics so immensely when we first presented them last year that he insisted on coining it as the school's official song. I turned to Sirius with a grin and we stopped walking to shout our favorite part. "For now they're bare and full of air, dead flies, and bits of fluff!" A few people around us joined in for the last few lines of the song, a chorus of students who were happy to be heading to their home away from home for another year.

And that's when the killing curse hit me. A flash of green light, a rushing noise in my ears… my mind was blank and my knees gave out.

Being dead is a very peculiar feeling… I thought. It's just like being alive, but people step on you. Really, a very peculiar thing.

"Prongs, get up off the ground. People are staring."

"Is that any way to treat the dead?" I asked.

"Oh, you're dead, are you? Then you won't mind if I take this?" he reached over to my trunk and grabbed my pride and joy, the love of my life, my shining, unbeatable racing broom.

I leaped to my feet and snatched it from his hands, shouting "Mine!"

He rolled his eyes. "Good to see you back among the living. What in Merlin's name is the matter with you?"

"I don't know. I saw a flash of green light and then I felt like I had died. I was sure it was a killing curse. You know, I must be the first person to ever make a full recovery from one of those."

"You're mental."

I could only assume he was right. Mental illness was the only logical explanation I could think of at the time. I shrugged my shoulders as though it was already forgotten, and together, Sirius and I climbed into the train to hunt down our buddies.

I kept a wary watch all day for whatever it was that made me have such a sudden fit. Remus asked me several times why I was so jumpy, and Sirius explained to him that someone had tried to assassinate me.

Remus looked alarmed. "When and where did this happen?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Ten minutes ago, in his imagination."

I pouted. A very manly pout. "It was not in my imagination."

Remus and Sirius exchanged glances. Remus, ever the diplomat, decided to pretend he believed me. "Do you want to explain it better?"

I took a deep breath and started my story again. "I was walking along and I saw a flash of green light…"

But before I could get any further, it happened again. Only this time I saw what had caused it.

There was a red-headed girl walking down the hall, and when she glanced at me on her way past, I noticed her eyes. My mind went blank.

It was moments before I became aware that I was lying on the ground again.

"Ummmm should we do something?"

"Don't hover over him like that, Pete. Give him some air!"

"James? Are you alright? Should we send for a professor?"

My mind felt fuzzy. "Umm no? I'm ok."

I pushed myself into a sitting position and stood, feeling slightly embarrassed as I brushed some dust from my hands. What on earth was the matter with me? James Potter, swooning for a girl?

I sat on a bench and attempted to act as though nothing had happened. That task proved increasingly difficult, as my friends were all staring at me as though I had sprouted an extra head.

I searched desperately for a subject change. "So, this year, quidditch ought to be cool huh?"

"Quidditch is always cool. It's you we're concerned about."

I groaned. "It's fine, guys. I'm ok. I figured it out. It's no problem."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked politely, as though he were speaking to a patient in the closed ward.

"Let it go, mates. Really." I ran my hand through my hair and leaned back against the seat, considering napping the entire train ride.

But my thoughts trailed off and I couldn't help bringing up my thoughts about the girl I had seen in the hallway right before my collapse. I had never really noticed her before, but something about her captured my attention this time. "What do you guys think about Lily Evans?"

Sirius barked with laughter. "The real question is, what must Lily Evans think of you?"

Hmm, that didn't sound good. "What do you mean?"

"She was just walking past now when you had your little fainting spell. And she was right there when it happened out on the platform, too! She probably thinks you're some kind of over-dramatic pansy-boy."

"Great," I grumbled.

Remus was smirking, but at least made an attempt at sensitivity. "Why do you ask, James?"

"I was just wondering what you thought about her."

"She's really pretty," piped Peter.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Lovely bird, but she's so uptight you'd think she had a wand stuck up her—"

"Ahem!" Remus cut him off. "Well, she's very smart. She should have been in Ravenclaw, I think."

"I know all that," I said. "What do you guys think about her eyes?"

Sirius thought for a moment. "I don't remember."

I snorted. "I wouldn't expect you to, that's not where you usually look at a girl, Sirius."

He gave me a sly smile, leaning easily against the seat behind him.

Remus gave a small frown, whether it was in disapproval or concentration, I wasn't sure. "Her eyes… aren't they green?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, a little smile forming on my lips. "Strikingly bright green."

After a moment of quiet thought, Remus figured out exactly what I was trying to tell him. "Killing curse green, perhaps?"

I grinned, picturing those eyes again; those eyes that made me feel weak at a single glance. And it took something very, very serious to bring down a man like James Potter.

I smiled to myself.

"Killing curse green."