I adore the song Mad World, and it inspires a lot of what I write.
Title Happy
Summary [implied akuroku The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
Rating PG
Warning(s) None
Disclaimer Don't own, am not affiliated with the creators. I don't own the song Mad World, either.
Author's Notes This was weird to write.
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Roxas cries when he sleeps, and when Axel has the misfortune to see this unfold, it's one of the most heartbreaking things he's ever seen. Roxas cries silently, with fat tears rolling down the sides of his cheeks and staining the pillow and staining his face and staining Axel's psyche; he's not supposed to be disturbed by people crying, no, no, so why does Roxas crying make him so uncomfortable? Roxas doesn't only cry, but he lets out the most pitiful of whimpers at times; shakes, quivers, trembles, and with the tremors, the white linen makes one of the most sickening rustling sounds Axel can imagine.
And this is possibly what disturbs Axel the most: that Roxas is happy, that he's happy with the dreams where he dies, the dreams which leave him crying and shaking, the dreams where the world falls around him, the dreams where everything is gone, gone, gone. Axel cannot stop his stomach from churning and twisting into intricate knots as Roxas retells his dreams with smiles on his face; he thinks it's quite possibly one of the most horrible things he's ever seen -- to see Roxas looking so happy at the prospect of his dreams.
But Roxas is happy, and in his own way that makes his skin crawl and his throat make slippery clicking sounds to prevent vomiting, Axel is happy for him. And so with his skeletal arms, Axel will continue to pull Roxas next to him every night; he will continue to listen to the terrifying sounds Roxas makes, he will continue to try and calm the quaking boy, he will continue to watch the tears slip from Roxas's eyes, but he will not do a thing to interfere with Roxas's happiness, and he both hates and loves himself for it.