Hey guys, this story takes place sometime after the series. It is kind of choppy, but she's crazy and I picture her thoughts not being in complete sentences. It's kind of long, but I didn't want to make it chapters, since this was the way I wrote it. Make sure you bring food and water since it's along way to the bottom.
These violent delights have violent ends...
Zuzu, you don't look so good. Blue flashed around the courtyard, my arms twitching with delight, the heat of the flames lit my face with the glorious warmth. So close. I watch as he withers in agony on the stone ground. No remorse. Energy surges through my body as I bend my arms in the familiar circles. The power is doubled. My eyes light up as the stream of lightning shoots from my finger tips.
Unstoppable.
Fire Lord Azula. The name sends a thrill through me. End it. He's worthless to you any way. Only she stands in the way, the little water peasant.
The stream of energy hits the pillar, turning it into mere dust, smoke wafting about. So close. Frustration builds, let it be over with.
There you are, filthy peasant! Hate builds with the aggravation, my eyes narrow. The world is black besides her. So focused.
Oh I'll show you lightning! My body surges with vigour. I knew the steps, I knew the movements. The energy burst from my body and-
Blue.
The world becomes nothing but a shade of blue. But not my blue. Different, strange, cold. Confusion courses through me as I my hands are tied to grate. Suffocation. There is no oxygen. There is no heat. There is no fire. There is no control.
I must have control.
Finally sound, air. Gasping I feel the chains tighten. I cannot see; uneven tresses of brown hang in my eyes. Fire burst from my lips. He stands. He walks towards me. He is taller than I am, he always was. I do not see the little boy with the ponytail with weak and frightened eyes.
I do not recognize this man before me.
I thrash my arms about. No freedom. I feel them, the traitors roll down my cheeks as the courtyard echoes with blood-curdling screams. Was that my voice? No, it couldn't be. I did not cry. I did not scream.
So close.
She stands with him- the strange man. Blue. She is blue. She looks away in disgust. I no longer see them. I see the ground, crying as whimpers escape. Power, strength, perfection, why leave me now?
So close. Almost.
Almost isn't good enough!
Behind salt-watered tears the world fades to darkness again. The walls are dark dirty gray. I hear the screams- the same ones- echo through this room also. I whither and flail on the ground. Alone. Darkness.
Two men stand at the door, I recognize one; the man who comes here often. I call him Lu Ten, with his square jaw and a crooked nose. He looks warily upon me as the other man's face is hidden in the shadows. Tears roll from my eyes as I shoot flames at them.
"She's been like this for days. Talks to herself, whispers things. Tells people to leave when there is no one there. Repeats things over and over again. It's like she's reliving moments of her life."
I do not understand. I do not like this dark nightmare.
The man hidden in the shadows nods once and leaves. The other follows suit.
I am alone again.
There is no honour. There is no fire. There is no lightning.
Fire Lord Azula is no more.
With my eyes clenched shut I will myself back into reality. The darkness flashes to white. My body fills with power and confidence again. The tears stop.
Fire Lord Azula returns.
Zuzu, you don't look so good! Blue flashes around the courtyard...
And in their triumph die
The darkness was not new. I was drowning in it. There was no light when you cannot fight the current. The shadows slink along the cold walls, faces I cannot make out.
There is no power here.
I am once again prisoner with their grasp, the shadow-people. They murmur quietly, I cannot hear what they are saying. They do not come any closer.
I want nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare.
There is no sound other than the faint plink plink plink of water hitting metal somewhere far away. Why has he not come? Surely he knows where I am. After everything I've done for him, he should have been here by now. I am to become Fire Lord!
He cannot just leave me here! He cannot let me waste away in the darkness!
You can't treat me like Zuko!
The scream echoes through the silence, before fading away to nothing. Salt water runs down my cheeks, fire burst from my lips as I run around the dark room towards the shadows, willing them away with the flames.
Red flames.
I reach the center again, failing around before collapsing, sobs echo through the silence again.
Alone.
Not even the shadows linger with me now. I drove them away. I sentenced myself to darkness.
Images flash in front of my eyes. Two young girls, one with raven hair and amber eyes, bored, playing with knives; the other, a bright smile and brown eyes, flipping around the courtyard. I knew them once, friends, but where were they know?
Put them somewhere I'll never have to see their faces again, and let them rot!
So alone.
Arms wrap around my body as I collapse to the ground, willing myself to wake up. My eyes are shut tightly and I can feel reality sinking in again.
Finally!
A sea of green appears, men standing tall and broad, one with a long moustache sweats in front of me. I can feel the power in my body once again. He bows low on the ground before me. A thrill is sent through my body.
Don't flatter yourself; you were never even a player.
Control, here, I have control.
Like fire and powder
"She doesn't talk my lord."
One hushed voice broke the silence. Reality leaves me, putting me back into the gloom of dreams. My eyes snap open as I watch the shadows scurry back from me, looking startled for being caught so close. How long had they hovered? How long had I been in reality? The shadows were interrupted by something. "She hasn't spoken a word in a whole year, well, at least not to herself. When we ask her questions, she doesn't say a thing."
Ah. Lu Ten is visiting.
He unnerves me, coming back to see me every day, to make me question his motives. I don't see why he comes, after I have told him not to, but it is a dream, so I think not much of it.
He visits the most frequently, and everything I say rolls off his back, he is so sure. So strong. Just like I remembered him.
A young man with a square jaw and the world at his finger tips. Blurry images of a back walking down the hall with other familiar men. A tall one, white haired and hunched. Another blurry one with a greying beard and broad shoulders. And lastly an image of a tall younger man with a pointed chin and hard eyes.
He talks with them, laughs with them. He tells jokes and drinks tea with them. He talks of war and conquest without a shade of doubt he might not succeed. He spars with them and walks with confidence.
And like now, nothing I say brings him down. Lula, what do you hope to gain, by hurting my feelings? Do you think it make you strong, and me weak? Learn from me, Lula, your words will only make the victims stronger.
What had he meant? Who would be stronger than I? His wisdom is insulting, he firebending was mediocre, and he lost. He lost. He lost. He's dead.
He's right.
I bite my cheek at this, willing the shadows to silence. He was not right about anything. The shadows leaned forward, almost to prove their point, getting ready to argue.
"She'll talk."
A familiar but deeper rough voice echoed louder than the last throughout the darkness, causing my heart to stop and my stomach to drop low. The shadows stirred on either side of me, whispering a little louder to each other, forgetting they're dispute with me. They seemed excited, gaining thickness and solidness; I could make out the shapes of their noses now, as they slinked back into the walls before crawling out again.
It irritated me, made something under my skin creep. Something about this voice, and the shadows reaction to it cause a twist of something in bottom of my stomach, causing me to feel like someone was squeezing my arms to my sides, constricting. Where had I heard this voice? What life time was this when I had listened to its coarseness? What was this feeling I get from it?
Fear.
My teeth clenched together as I growled low at the shadows, causing the murmuring to cease. That was nonsense. I do not feel fear, fear is weakness.
The turn of the key and the sound of metal on metal as the door scraped open caused the shadows to retreat. The light poured in and glared; I could not see the faces.
"She just sits there, hasn't moved. No improvement. But she hasn't gotten worse either. Better than the screaming."
I ignore Lu Ten, but the other man caused something inside me to awake. I knew who this was, once upon a time.
"Azula, where is she?" The rough voice growled. "And do say you don't know what I'm talking about." His hard flame-coloured eyes focused on me.
He had a comet shaped scare on the side of his face.
My body reacts in a way I had long forgotten. A game I played that I had almost forgotten the rules to. A song I had almost forgotten the tune.
It was too easy but too gratifying to win, especially when played with him. How easy could I put him in checkmate! He had no secrets, no plans. He did not think it through, muscle and pigheadedness he played with, and he wore himself out before I'd through a punch. Like his board was nothing but a clear line to the king. No secrets up his sleeve.
Which as they kiss-
What of the bishop?
The old man, the one he followed around. Worshiped. Mentor. Father. Uncle. Master. He would always sacrifice himself for him. Yes, he had been there on the board. He loved him, even when he failed. That caused a frown on my face and a pull in my stomach. This feeling was unfamiliar, maybe only one felt before. A room full of men, none of whose eyes were for me. This was much stronger though, but what had I called it then?
Jealousy.
No, that could be right. I was still better than him. He had his bishop and that was it.
What of the knight?
So bravely giving herself up for his safety. Lover. Girlfriend. Partner. I love Zuko, more than I fear you. Foolishness. Another feeling shot through me, causing my heart to heavy and my eyes to prick. What feeling was this? I could have sworn I have felt it before. When another had caused me so much pain by her absence.
Betrayal.
SILENCE. You're only betrayed if you trusted, and trust is for fools. Fear is the only option. Fear is the only way to earn respect.
What of the castle?
The same feeling as early crawled up my skin and into my spin. Blue, she I loathed. I refuse the memories of Blue. The icy coldness that surrounded me, the absence of heat, power and control of fire. Blue will not weight my chest with that feeling. The feeling I never felt before. I will not feel that again.
Defeat.
No! No I refuse! It wasn't fair! I had won, it was my coronation day! She could NOT win, not on this day, not when I was at my maximum power! It never happened; it's just a nightmare, a dream.
And the queen? What of her?
Blankness covered the other emotions, leaving this dark, void-like feeling through my body, making me go numb. The queen. Yes, he had her, and no matter how well I played and how much I conquered before him, she played for his team. She had always played for his team, before I was born. I would try, I would fight, I would please father so easily that it wasn't even a challenge. But how come no matter what I had done, the queen was his secret weapon. The path was to be cleared! I was to be Fire Lord!
My own mother... thought I was a monster. How could she have so easily favoured a weak traitor? How could she work so hard to console him for not being good enough? How could she have just disappeared? I hate her! I HATE HER! I love you, Azula. No! NO YOU DON'T!
I looked through uneven tresses of brown and straight into his marked face; my eyes burning with the flames of a thousand comets and my lips curving into a curled a smirk. This anger, this emotion filled me, allowing me just a fraction of the strength I felt before this darkness captured me.
I pull out my secret weapon, my chess piece.
I go straight for the king, in the best way I knew how. Oh, how well I knew this game! Oh, how well I could sing the lyrics! And with a chuckle I sang my favourite line. His mantra. The song I have heard him sing around me before. Sighing, I moved my piece.
"Oh, Zu-Zu, Azula always lies."
Checkmate.
Consume.
See, even insane and broken I think Azula would get some jabs in at Zuko. She wouldn't suddenly become a sweet caring little sister. I'm just going to explain a little here that some might have found confusing.
Azula considers her hallucinations (which are mainly memories) from when she was powerful 'reality'. The real world of her in prison/asylum she considers 'nightmares.'
'Lu Ten' isn't actually her cousin, but a guard who looks and acts like him. She just calls him Lu Ten.
Blue is Katara, for those who didn't know.
Zuko is looking for his mother, and came to interrogate Azula. She may or may not know something, I have no idea, but he thought he'd give it a try.
The other horizontal lines just mean time breaks. It's not all happening at one time.
The quote in bold is from Romeo and Juliet for those who were wondering!
Thanks so much for everyone who reviewed the other stories! This is the first time I've been brave enough to post any of my work for public view, and the feedback is wonderful! Thank you everyone!
And to JackieStarSister for unknowingly being my beta reader! I didn't even catch those errors, thank you so much!