Disclaimer: I do not own the properties of Masashi Kishimoto. I also do not own the song "The Ghost Of You" by My Chemical Romance, which isn't in this fic at all, but it seemed like a perfect name nonetheless...
Warning: Implied ItaSasu, but no lemons.
Dedication: This fic was requested by and is therefore dedicated to BrothersMacManus. Sorry if it's not what you wanted, but since all you requested was a fic around the picture you sent me... this is what it turned into. Again, feel free to tell me to write you something else if this isn't to your liking.
A/N: So, this is another fic by me. It's a one-shot, and it has no smut... but I REALLY like it. I think it moves kind of fast, but I hope you can just keep up with it and stick on for the ride!
Enjoy!
Sasuke sat in thought, staring at the red dancing flame in front of him. What was this feeling? Guilt? Sadness? Who was this weak child living within the depths of his mind? It couldn't possibly be him, could it? That scared, innocent creature...
He had to be strong, and face what he'd done. What was it that had given him such courage and stamina before? Hatred. He would have to rely on hatred. Still, even the hatred had changed. He couldn't hate Itachi anymore... not after that day...
'Nii-San... you should have killed me when you had the chance... why are you making me linger on without you like this?'
The raven sighed. He'd been trying not to let his mind go there- to that frightful place where he kept thoughts of his brother.
"Forgive me, Sasuke...It ends with this."
No. Sasuke would never forgive him for that. Baka. It was unfair for him to be tricked like that... and Itachi... Itachi shouldn't have died.
'I shouldn't have killed him.'
Sasuke sighed, focusing more on the candle. How could something so simple be so vibrant and beautiful? How could something so graceful cause so much destruction at times? Even fire was a mystery now. Nothing made sense anymore.
"What will you do?"
Sasuke raised his eyes and looked at Madara with a still face.
"Konoha will fall." The teen replied. Of course that would be his response. What else could he do? All of his life he'd survived to kill Itachi and avenge his family. Now... that was all based on lies.
Konoha. The village built on his family's blood and bone. The leaf abused their power, then tricked them into killing each other all. It was much like the candle light- it drew you in with it's striking appearance, only to burn those who got to close. If Konoha truly was a candle, then Sasuke would be the one to blow it out.
"You should sleep." Madara said, standing up and walking past Sasuke.
Sleep... Yes, he'd sleep. Sleep would be good. Sasuke stood slowly and laid himself down on his bedroll. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.
XxBxExLxOxVxExDxX
Sasuke looked around his room, startled. He was home? No, even if he had managed to get back to Konoha without incident, he still shouldn't have been in the complex peacefully waking up in his old bedroom. That was quite abnormal. He hadn't been here since...
"Otouto?"
Sasuke's eyes darted quickly tot he door. No, this wasn't real. It was too good to be real. Someone must have caught him off guard while he was sleeping and put him under some sort of genjutsu. He tested his chakra experimentally, then focused it more- trying to release himself from the illusion. Itachi looked around the room curiously.
"Why are you manipulating your chakra like that? No one's here who would hurt you." He said calmly. He was looking at Sasuke with concerned eyes.
The younger studied his brother carefully, watching the man's movements as he approached the bed and sat. Sasuke felt a familiar warm callused hand on his forehead. It was Itachi's hand. The hand gently stroked a damp spot from Sasuke's cheek.
"Why are you crying, Otouto? What's wrong?" Itachi asked. Sasuke only cried harder at the sweet soothing tone of his brother's voice. It was torture. Itachi took him into his arms, hugging him tightly.
"Please don't cry, Sasuke. It kills me to see you cry."
"That's exactly why I'm crying. You're already dead, I... I... I... I already..." Sasuke buried his head in his brother's chest, inhaling the elder's scent. He'd already killed him. Why couldn't he say it? Why was he letting himself be comforted now by nothing but a simple figment of his imagination?
"Foolish Otouto. How could I be dead? I'm right here holding you in my arms. Don't they feel real enough?"
They did feel real. Just as real as what Sasuke had come to accept as reality. If anything, the Itachi holding him now seemed more real than the Madara who he was speaking with just a few minutes ago...
In fact, who was to say that this wasn't real?
"People live their lives bound by what they accept as correct and true. That's how they define "reality". But what does it mean to be "correct" or "true"? Merely vague concepts... their "reality" may all be a mirage. Can we consider them to simply be living in their own world, shaped by their beliefs?"
Itachi had said that... that day. It had always stuck in his mind. Sasuke had come to accept the statement as plausible. Here, before his very eyes- his brother lived, breathed, spoke. He could hear him, touch him, smell him. Everything about this man made him seem "real" and "true". Could he really just be a mirage?
Sasuke sniffled quietly, and wiped his tears against Itachi's night-shirt. Maybe he'd been living in his owl world all along. Maybe this was the real world, and Itachi had never died in the first place... did it matter? He was here with him now- and who was to say that it wasn't reality?
"Feeling better?"
Sasuke nodded. Perhaps this was a dream. Perhaps it wasn't. He was here now, so it was his reality for the time being. Why should he limit himself to only one reality when there was another one so much more pleasant than the first?
"Good. I came to check on you. It seemed that you were having a nightmare. Do you remember what you dreamt about?" Itachi asked, petting his brother's hair softly.
A nightmare? Yes... that must have been what had happened. The longer he sat here, the more Sasuke started refusing to believe that Itachi was dead. He couldn't be dead. It wasn't possible.
"Yes... a nightmare... it all seems to be fading from my thought now, but... you were dead. I killed you, but you wanted me to... I had to. You were actually looking out for me all along." Sasuke felt the tears welling up in his eyes. "You died with a smile on your face... it seems so real, yet so far away."
"Shhh... it's only a dream, Sasuke. I'd never leave your side. Go back to sleep now, I'll stay here with you."
Sasuke smiled, and pulled himself close to Itachi. He could feel his warmth, hear his heartbeat as it soothed him to sleep...
XxBxExLxOxVxExDxX
Sasuke peered around, taking in his surroundings. He was back here again, caught in this endless nightmare... He pinched himself, trying to wake up. It didn't work. Hn. Fine. No choice but to behave then.
He rose and stretched, before Madara walked openly into the room.
"Hebi is here."
Hebi? Oh, right... the team he'd started. Sasuke frowned... he had such an elaborate imagination. And this was such a vivid dream, still, he'd have to hurry through it if he wanted to wake up and get back to Itachi.
"Did you hear me? What's wrong with you?" Madara asked in an annoyed tone.
"Hn." Sasuke replied tiredly. Why was he so exhausted? Was it normal to feel this bad while you were asleep? Was he even really asleep?
Yes. He had to be. He wouldn't accept Itachi's death as the truth... he couldn't. And one of these worlds had to be false. So this one was the mirage.
He walked outside and faced his team. They looked at him with expectant eyes.
"From this day on, we will be Taka." He announced.
No longer would they slither around on their bellies. It was time to fly.
XxBxExLxOxVxExDxX
"But we ended up defeating the Hachibi anyway, because I used the Amaterasu that you implanted in my eye. They say mine is even better than yours, you know." Sasuke said smugly. He was sitting next to Itachi on the small two-step that led to the court-yard of their home.
Itachi smirked. "You possessing a Sharingan better than mine? Tch. Now I know you're dreaming." He replied with the same smug tone that Sasuke had used.
Sasuke frowned. Maybe it wasn't smart to confide in Itachi about his confliction. He truly wasn't certain which world was real anymore... the world with Itachi was so vivid... so perfect. Too perfect. The grass was always green. The complex was tidy and kept in order, yet... there parents were never here. No one was ever here. It was a place that only he and Itachi existed.
And yet... that other world... full of pain and regret. This was a dream, and that was a nightmare- but when was he really conscious? Was he ever awake?
And this Itachi... there was something almost too perfect about him. He was never distant, always doing exactly what Sasuke wanted to do, exactly when Sasuke wanted to do it. So in truth, it wasn't Itachi at all- but that didn't necessarily mean that Itachi was actually gone did it?
This wasn't Itachi- but Itachi wasn't dead. That was the conclusion that Sasuke had come to... but it wasn't an option. The problem was still painfully evident: Somewhere within one of these illusions there was a hidden reality, and he had to face it.
"Aniki?" Sasuke asked, turning towards his brother.
"What is it?"
"Are you dead?"
"No."
"You promise?"
"Yes. When will you stop asking me that?"
Sasuke frowned. "When you sound more honest..." He answered, looking up for a moment to find Itachi looking back at him.
It was strange... sometimes this Itachi looked at him as if he was real... it almost seemed like the real Itachi was watching Sasuke through the fake Itachi's eyes, but that was seriously unlikely. If this wasn't Itachi then Itachi was dead, so it wasn't possible for Itachi to be looking through fake-Itachi's eyes... right?
XxBxExLxOxVxExDxX
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Madara asked smoothly, walking through the entrance to headquarters and taking each step with ease, and still a sense of deliberation.
"I want Itachi's eyes." Sasuke replied in monotone. He had been neglecting the request for quite some time, but it was becoming necessary... and after the dreams- or whatever they were... he somehow felt that they'd provide some type of answer for him.
Madara turned to face the teen as they walked. "So you finally made up your mind. You've overused Susano'o. I'm aware that you can barely see."
Sasuke winced, grasping his eye in pain. The feeling was so strong. It seemed realistic enough...
"It's perfect timing." Madara continued.
"Transplant them right away." Sasuke replied, still holding his eye in pain.
"You're in a hurry." The elder Uchiha replied in an observant yet somewhat amused tone. "What's going on?"
Sasuke ignored the question continuing to walk. Madara already knew too much about Itachi's life, and hadn't done anything to prevent Itachi's death. He shouldn't be trusted with information. Besides, all he would do was pass judgment on Sasuke if he knew the truth.
Instead, Sasuke blurted out some nonsense about Naruto and Konoha... It was best to keep Madara in the dark about his reasoning for now.
Three Months Later
Sasuke woke up silently and frowned. It had happened again that night. He hadn't dreamt. He hadn't had a single dream since getting Itachi's eyes... why was that? He was stuck here in this nightmarish place, unable to do anything.
First, he had to wait for himself to heal even though he felt fine. He felt more connected to Itachi than he ever had before... why couldn't he go back to that place? That beautiful place with his brother.
Sasuke closed his eyes again, forcing himself back to sleep. All he saw was darkness.
"Nii-San?" He asked, looking around in this dreamless limbo. Suddenly the darkness lifted. He was back in paradise... but it was different now. The grass was still too green, but Itachi was different.
Sasuke could see him clearly now. He was even more unauthentic than he was before... and his eyes... only black holes remained.
The teen gasped in shock... had he... what had he done?
"Nii-San?" He asked again, breathily.
Itachi's eyes appeared in the empty sockets, looking at him curiously, he looked down at himself with those same curious eyes... clearly noticing the perfection. The way his battle scars were all gone- the obvious lack of the ANBU tattoo was a major difference. He frowned.
"Is this really the brother you yearn to see?" He asked, looking up at Sasuke carefully. "You have my eyes." He said with the tiniest hint of a smile. "I'm glad that you have them, you shouldn't taint them with your tears." He said, walking up to his brother.
Sasuke continued to cry. He didn't know how, and he didn't care why- but this was the real Itachi. This was his Itachi. The brother he'd loved for so many years... the brother he'd loved too much at one time, but that time was long ago.
The brother he'd killed.
"You're dead."
Itachi nodded sadly. "Yes. I am. It isn't nice of you to wake me from my eternal rest, you know... No, I won't lie. I've been sleeplessly watching you all along."
Sasuke looked up at his brother. "Then you must have noticed by now." He said.
Itachi frowned. "Noticed what?"
"That I've fallen in love with you."
The elder sighed and looked away. "Yes. I've noticed."
"The real you. Not the sick, overly-kind substitute that you left in my mind. I can tell when it's really you."
"I know."
"Why haven't I seen you in so long?"
"I'm dead, Sasuke. I don't have the freedom to always move about as I please. I'm not a ghost- I'm just dead. I can't exist in your world, and you can't exist in mine. You should have known better than to think that you'd be able to see the mirage the same way. I can't trick my own eyes into seeing things that aren't really there, Otouto."
"I know." The teen answered, walking up to Itachi and touching his cheek. "That's how I know that you're really here with me now."
It was true. Nothing was the same here when looking through Itachi's eyes. The only thing real was Itachi himself, but that was the only thing that Sasuke needed to be real in the first place.
He could live on like this... maybe. At least until he died. He could deal with both sides of reality. Itachi lived on through him, he felt him, with every fiber in his body and soul. Itachi was by his side.
So Sasuke opened his eyes to another waking day and smiled. He'd never know which dimension was a dream and which was reality, but he'd managed to find his balance between the two, and with that- he was happy.
A/N: See? Not so bad, right? I know it's not smutty... but... well.. whatevs. Leave a review and take my poll please.
I love you for reading!
-Beloved