Title: Mallory's Tale of Freaks
Author: Roma
Fandom: Hellboy (Movie)
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellboy, the movie got under my skin and thus I
must write. All rights reserved and all that fun legal crap.
Summery: Thomas Mallory, an old informant of John's, comes to pay him an
unexpected visit with a much unexpected job offer.
A/N: The scene where Abe and Liz are talking and Abe says that "all we
Freaks have is each other", yeah, that kinda left an impression on me. This
story is what if John had heard that statement and if so how he would have
felt about it.
Over the years, John Meyers had become very addicted to coffee. It was not that he was an expert on coffee or anything; his addiction was caused by spending years working with a bloody difficult informant who would only meet him at coffee shops. Thomas Mallory was eccentric to say the least but he had fingers, eyes and ears everywhere, which made him very valuable and very hard to kill.
John sighed into his cup of cheap black coffee and looked outside at the pouring rain. He could not figure out what was it about today that made him think about Thomas so much. It was probably because he was lonely. He enjoyed his time with Liz, Abe and Hellboy, but he never felt as if he... fit in with them. It was almost like he was not allowed into their little club and John wanted to be allowed in so badly instead of a necessary outsider.
Have you ever had this strange thing, you are thinking about someone so hard that they suddenly seem to appear? You just have to wonder if you thinking about them made them appear or was their coming, sensed on some subconscious level, is what made you think about them?
Thomas Mallory walked into that coffeeshop like he owned it, hell, like he owned the whole chain of these bloody awful coffeeshops. He was still beautiful, like a statue from one of those famous Italian Renaissance artists beautiful. His long ashen blonde hair was shoulder length and hung loose around his shoulders, his warm violet eyes were peeking out under a pair of expensive sunglasses. He wore black slacks, and knee-high leather boots, a purple turtle neck and a black rain slicker. He sat down next to John in a graceless plop and sighed, "Took me a while to find you, Johnny- boy, hiding out from me, are you?"
"Never, Thomas, not like it would do me any good," John smiled, "it's good to see you. Wanna cup?"
"Me turn down a cup of cheap black sludge, I mean, coffee, and you are paying? Never."
John got the waitress' attention and she quickly came over, batting her eyes and being painful obvious that she found John attractive. "Hi, can you please bring a cup of your daily special for my friend, and could you make that three sugars and half and half creamers instead of milk? Thanks."
"Anything for you," she winked and walked away, sashaying her hips slightly. Thomas looked very unamused.
"You come here because?"
"It's local to work."
"Well it's good to know that you still remember how I take my coffee."
"Hey, I know how to please a coffee-lovin' man."
Thomas stuck his tongue out at him and leaned back in the chair. "You didn't even tell me that you were leaving the academy. I was almost done training you on informant services; you would have been a great elision."
"Well I got picked up for another job, hand picked actually, so I cannot complain."
"You've lost that sparkle in your eyes, you are sitting here in the middle of the day at some coffeeshop from Hades to escape your work..."
"...it's my day off."
"... and you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you cannot complain. Come on, John-dear, you cannot kid a kidder. You don't have to tell me what is wrong, I understand that you need to be secretive about some things, but I believe I have a solution to your problem. That high-up dude that handpicked you is dead, murdered and such, so I talked to a few friends of mine that are pretty high up and they are ready to pull some strings and bring you back to Informant Services Elision, as my personal elision to the F.B.I. My information is always good but I only like to work with people I know and trust..."
"Wait, are you offering me a job?"
"Damn straight, baby, a twenty four hours a day job, with fun and interesting benefits," Thomas leaned over and whispered in John's ear, "that beats being butler and nanny to the Hellboy."
John looked at him, the surprise quick to leave his eyes, of course Thomas Mallory would know, if there was a system to hack or a way to get information Mallory would find it and exploit it for all it was worth. "Fun and interesting benefits, eh? Such as..."
"Spending time with me, which is always fun," Thomas winked, "good health so on benefits, excellent salary, good vacation time and I'll take you out, wine, dine and attempt to seduce you on a regular basis."
John blushed, and this was a full body blush, "Well you might solve one of my problems."
"What's that?"
"You know the guy I play nanny to? He's in love, and I mean full blown out in love to the point of being ..."
"... jealous beyond human understanding?"
"...over-protective and he thinks I'm trying to steal his girl."
"Playing matchmaker can do that, Johnny, but don't worry your pretty little head about a thing. This is a very easy to solve problem, you tell him to go fuck himself and how, climb into a car with me and you leave those freaks behind you for good. Another nanny will be chosen and life will move on... for them and for you. Most importantly for you."
"I... I do like them."
"That's nice, Johnny, but....?"
"But, when Abe got hurt, I over heard him talking to his girlfriend about him..."
"Why do I have a sinking feeling a lot of things are about him?"
"And Abe said that 'all us freaks have are each other'."
"Ah."
"I wanted to interrupt their moment and say 'What about me? You guys have me. I know I haven't been here that long...'"
"But still I do understand. You want to feel like you belong, instead of a necessary outsider to their little freaky club. Completely understandable especially since his Dad signed you on for life."
"I care about them," John felt tears coming to his eyes, "I really do but I have to ask myself if this is what I want to do with my life or not."
"Johnny, you don't have to sell me. Your emotional connections and trust has been put through the ringer with these people, so I know that you do care about them. You would not continue to struggle through this if you didn't, babe. The big question that I put to you is the following: do you want to spend the rest of your life as you are now? Things aren't going to get any better and you are too young to be trapped as Nanny Jeeves for the rest of your life."
"I..."
"Hang on a second, Second-hand Rose is coming back with the sludge."
"Be nice, Thomas," John smiled, as the waitress returned, smiling her broad smile with the exact coffee John had ordered and brought, what smelled like, fresh pot of coffee with her. "Can I refill your cup, John?" she said, making it sound like some sort of indecent proposal and topping it off with a wink.
"Only with coffee sweetheart," Thomas said, "or his boyfriend might get jealous."
"Boyfriend?" the waitress and John said in unison.
"I'm dating someone?" John asked Thomas.
"Your gay?" the waitress asked John.
"Do you have a problem with that?" Thomas asked the waitress.
"Er... no, but I'm just tired of every guy I think is cute being gay," the waitress refilled John's coffee and went away in a huff.
"Thomas, was that necessary?"
"Yes, it was."
"Why?"
"Because, Johnny-dear, it got rid of her and the last thing you need is to be sexually assaulted in the parking lot by a sexually starved waitress with a thing for gay men."
"I'm not gay," John said.
"A bisexual male who prefers other males might as well be gay so don't get technical with me, okay?"
"And aren't we off topic anyway," John blushed again and cleared his throat.
"What were we talking about?" Thomas asked, with a very amused countenance.
"A job offer."
Thomas dumped the sugar in his coffee and the creamers and stirred furiously, half the coffee spilling over the side. "Yes, quite right, silly me," Thomas said, taking a sip of the now creamy sludge, "You'll make what you currently do, plus half, expense account, and all the other good things in life. You start in the group, unlike your current position and no more Jeeves, for Hera's sake! Look, I know you will need to think about this because your emotion for the frea... your friends, clouds your proper judgment."
Thomas took out a business-like card and handed it to John, "Here are my contact numbers, give me a call once you've thought about it. Now, I don't know about you've but I've had more than enough business for one day and now I'm in the mood for vice."
An hour later, John just ran to the bathroom, the coffee was catching up to him. Thomas looked around and quite pleased with himself. He was wearing down any walls John had left to leaving the Bureau and would soon be returning to his rightful place, by his side. It hadn't been easy, of course, but timing was everything. Well timing and a very talented occultist on your side. The snare had been prefect; Maddy had cast paranoia spells on Hellboy, making sure that Hellboy would remain suspicious of John trying to steal the Sherman chit. Couple that with a dragon smoke spell, making it that people didn't want to be around John or didn't notice him, and John was practically in Thomas' hands. Serves Professor Prick right for disturbing his affairs in such a matter that his son and Sherman must suffer to such an extreme. "Soon it will be over," Thomas muttered, "but until then, Professor, roll around in your grave and roll and roll and roll."
Over the years, John Meyers had become very addicted to coffee. It was not that he was an expert on coffee or anything; his addiction was caused by spending years working with a bloody difficult informant who would only meet him at coffee shops. Thomas Mallory was eccentric to say the least but he had fingers, eyes and ears everywhere, which made him very valuable and very hard to kill.
John sighed into his cup of cheap black coffee and looked outside at the pouring rain. He could not figure out what was it about today that made him think about Thomas so much. It was probably because he was lonely. He enjoyed his time with Liz, Abe and Hellboy, but he never felt as if he... fit in with them. It was almost like he was not allowed into their little club and John wanted to be allowed in so badly instead of a necessary outsider.
Have you ever had this strange thing, you are thinking about someone so hard that they suddenly seem to appear? You just have to wonder if you thinking about them made them appear or was their coming, sensed on some subconscious level, is what made you think about them?
Thomas Mallory walked into that coffeeshop like he owned it, hell, like he owned the whole chain of these bloody awful coffeeshops. He was still beautiful, like a statue from one of those famous Italian Renaissance artists beautiful. His long ashen blonde hair was shoulder length and hung loose around his shoulders, his warm violet eyes were peeking out under a pair of expensive sunglasses. He wore black slacks, and knee-high leather boots, a purple turtle neck and a black rain slicker. He sat down next to John in a graceless plop and sighed, "Took me a while to find you, Johnny- boy, hiding out from me, are you?"
"Never, Thomas, not like it would do me any good," John smiled, "it's good to see you. Wanna cup?"
"Me turn down a cup of cheap black sludge, I mean, coffee, and you are paying? Never."
John got the waitress' attention and she quickly came over, batting her eyes and being painful obvious that she found John attractive. "Hi, can you please bring a cup of your daily special for my friend, and could you make that three sugars and half and half creamers instead of milk? Thanks."
"Anything for you," she winked and walked away, sashaying her hips slightly. Thomas looked very unamused.
"You come here because?"
"It's local to work."
"Well it's good to know that you still remember how I take my coffee."
"Hey, I know how to please a coffee-lovin' man."
Thomas stuck his tongue out at him and leaned back in the chair. "You didn't even tell me that you were leaving the academy. I was almost done training you on informant services; you would have been a great elision."
"Well I got picked up for another job, hand picked actually, so I cannot complain."
"You've lost that sparkle in your eyes, you are sitting here in the middle of the day at some coffeeshop from Hades to escape your work..."
"...it's my day off."
"... and you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you cannot complain. Come on, John-dear, you cannot kid a kidder. You don't have to tell me what is wrong, I understand that you need to be secretive about some things, but I believe I have a solution to your problem. That high-up dude that handpicked you is dead, murdered and such, so I talked to a few friends of mine that are pretty high up and they are ready to pull some strings and bring you back to Informant Services Elision, as my personal elision to the F.B.I. My information is always good but I only like to work with people I know and trust..."
"Wait, are you offering me a job?"
"Damn straight, baby, a twenty four hours a day job, with fun and interesting benefits," Thomas leaned over and whispered in John's ear, "that beats being butler and nanny to the Hellboy."
John looked at him, the surprise quick to leave his eyes, of course Thomas Mallory would know, if there was a system to hack or a way to get information Mallory would find it and exploit it for all it was worth. "Fun and interesting benefits, eh? Such as..."
"Spending time with me, which is always fun," Thomas winked, "good health so on benefits, excellent salary, good vacation time and I'll take you out, wine, dine and attempt to seduce you on a regular basis."
John blushed, and this was a full body blush, "Well you might solve one of my problems."
"What's that?"
"You know the guy I play nanny to? He's in love, and I mean full blown out in love to the point of being ..."
"... jealous beyond human understanding?"
"...over-protective and he thinks I'm trying to steal his girl."
"Playing matchmaker can do that, Johnny, but don't worry your pretty little head about a thing. This is a very easy to solve problem, you tell him to go fuck himself and how, climb into a car with me and you leave those freaks behind you for good. Another nanny will be chosen and life will move on... for them and for you. Most importantly for you."
"I... I do like them."
"That's nice, Johnny, but....?"
"But, when Abe got hurt, I over heard him talking to his girlfriend about him..."
"Why do I have a sinking feeling a lot of things are about him?"
"And Abe said that 'all us freaks have are each other'."
"Ah."
"I wanted to interrupt their moment and say 'What about me? You guys have me. I know I haven't been here that long...'"
"But still I do understand. You want to feel like you belong, instead of a necessary outsider to their little freaky club. Completely understandable especially since his Dad signed you on for life."
"I care about them," John felt tears coming to his eyes, "I really do but I have to ask myself if this is what I want to do with my life or not."
"Johnny, you don't have to sell me. Your emotional connections and trust has been put through the ringer with these people, so I know that you do care about them. You would not continue to struggle through this if you didn't, babe. The big question that I put to you is the following: do you want to spend the rest of your life as you are now? Things aren't going to get any better and you are too young to be trapped as Nanny Jeeves for the rest of your life."
"I..."
"Hang on a second, Second-hand Rose is coming back with the sludge."
"Be nice, Thomas," John smiled, as the waitress returned, smiling her broad smile with the exact coffee John had ordered and brought, what smelled like, fresh pot of coffee with her. "Can I refill your cup, John?" she said, making it sound like some sort of indecent proposal and topping it off with a wink.
"Only with coffee sweetheart," Thomas said, "or his boyfriend might get jealous."
"Boyfriend?" the waitress and John said in unison.
"I'm dating someone?" John asked Thomas.
"Your gay?" the waitress asked John.
"Do you have a problem with that?" Thomas asked the waitress.
"Er... no, but I'm just tired of every guy I think is cute being gay," the waitress refilled John's coffee and went away in a huff.
"Thomas, was that necessary?"
"Yes, it was."
"Why?"
"Because, Johnny-dear, it got rid of her and the last thing you need is to be sexually assaulted in the parking lot by a sexually starved waitress with a thing for gay men."
"I'm not gay," John said.
"A bisexual male who prefers other males might as well be gay so don't get technical with me, okay?"
"And aren't we off topic anyway," John blushed again and cleared his throat.
"What were we talking about?" Thomas asked, with a very amused countenance.
"A job offer."
Thomas dumped the sugar in his coffee and the creamers and stirred furiously, half the coffee spilling over the side. "Yes, quite right, silly me," Thomas said, taking a sip of the now creamy sludge, "You'll make what you currently do, plus half, expense account, and all the other good things in life. You start in the group, unlike your current position and no more Jeeves, for Hera's sake! Look, I know you will need to think about this because your emotion for the frea... your friends, clouds your proper judgment."
Thomas took out a business-like card and handed it to John, "Here are my contact numbers, give me a call once you've thought about it. Now, I don't know about you've but I've had more than enough business for one day and now I'm in the mood for vice."
An hour later, John just ran to the bathroom, the coffee was catching up to him. Thomas looked around and quite pleased with himself. He was wearing down any walls John had left to leaving the Bureau and would soon be returning to his rightful place, by his side. It hadn't been easy, of course, but timing was everything. Well timing and a very talented occultist on your side. The snare had been prefect; Maddy had cast paranoia spells on Hellboy, making sure that Hellboy would remain suspicious of John trying to steal the Sherman chit. Couple that with a dragon smoke spell, making it that people didn't want to be around John or didn't notice him, and John was practically in Thomas' hands. Serves Professor Prick right for disturbing his affairs in such a matter that his son and Sherman must suffer to such an extreme. "Soon it will be over," Thomas muttered, "but until then, Professor, roll around in your grave and roll and roll and roll."