Kuroo had known from the start he wouldn't make the university volleyball team. He hasn't been as good as oikawa, iwaizumi or bokuto, but he still found himself trying out to make his friends happy. bokuto had practically begged him the day of try outs and even after kuroo explained that he wasn't good enough Bokuto still dragged him to the gym.
So when he found himself in a line of people behind his friends he didn't feel upset. Or at least he wouldn't say he did.
"Thank you all for coming out, you'r work hasn't gone by unnoticed, but sadly you haven't made the final cut," the coach announced to the row in the back with about 20 other people including kuroo.
Kuroo faked a smile and nodded his head. He felt his chest ache and his eyes burnt. He noticed how tense Bokuto's shoulders had gotten as he stood in front of kuroo in the line of people who had made the team.
As they exited the gym Kuroo hooked his arm around Oikawa, "What's with the upset faces? You just made fucking university volleyball," kuroo said smiling and pulling oikawa closer.
"Yeah," bokuto said weakly. He found his shoes a bit more interesting as the walked back to their shared apartment.
They'd all decided to move in together their second year of college. It was bokuto's idea, he'd said it only made sense if they lived together since they'd all be on the volleyball team.
It was a three bedroom apartment. Oikawa and iwaizumi shared a room, as they had been dating since high school. Kuroo and bokuto were best buds and were stoked to live together. Bokuto excited for volleyball, kuroo excited to just be around bokuto everyday.
Kuroo continued to fake a grin all the way until he got into the safety of his own room. Sitting on the bed his smiled faded and tears filled his eyes. Even though he knew he didn't stand a chance against everyone else, it still hurt to know that his friends would get to play together. He'd always dreamed of playing on the same side of the net as Bokuto and it hurt to know that this dream wouldn't become a reality.
"Kuroo?" A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He quickly wiped away the few tears he'd let fall.
"Yeah what's up?" He yelled leaning against the head board of his bed.
He felt his heart flutter as bokuto opened the door to his room. He'd always had a crush on the spiker but he never told a soul, afraid of ruining their amazing friendship.
Bokuto sat on the bed with his head looking down.
"Is everything okay," kuroo asked playing dumb. He didn't really feel like telling his friends he was upset because he knew it would just kill the mood. They should be celebrating.
"I'm sorry," Bokuto said scooting so that he was side by side with Kuroo.
"What do you need to apologize for, you didn't do anything," kuroo said looking at him with a smile.
"I shouldn't have made you try out. I just really thought you were amazing," bokuto said leaning his head on kuroo's shoulder.
"Well," kuroo sighed, "we can't all make it can we?" Kuroo said carding his had through Bokuto's multicolored locks.
"But you deserved to make it," Bokuto said. His voice sounded as if it was genuinely in pain.
"Bo, it's okay," Kuroo said shakily. He wasn't sure if he was shaking from the fact that Bokuto's head was resting on his shoulder, or the fact that he'll never play on a volleyball team again.
They stayed like that for awhile. Kuroo felt his heart beating out of his chest as he felt Bokuto's arm brush against his.
"Hey we were gonn- oh," oikawa said as he entered the room. Bokuto's head shot up as if he was embarrassed and kuroo looked at him confused.
Oikawa sat on the other side of Kuroo and wrapped his arm around him, "me and iwa are gonna order pizza, any special requests," he asked.
Kuroo beamed and looked over to Bokuto who shared the same grin of excitement. They both threw their hands up and yelled,
"Pizza bro day," they chanted. Oikawa rolled his eyes. It had been a traditional thing to buy pizza and eat it together on the couch when either of the two were having a shitty day.
"Bro we gotta get the cinnamon things," Bokuto said shaking Kuroo.
Kuroo laughed feeling a bit better. Every time Bokuto smiled he felt his heart skip a beat. Iwaizumi walked in and laid on his stomach with his lap top.
"Okay so what do you want," he asked.
They spent the night, all four of them squished together on their couch eating pizza and watching Netflix. Kuroo was pushed up against Bokuto's side, causing Bokuto to have to put his arm around Kuroo so it wouldn't get crushed. Oikawa was all over iwaizumi but still somehow had his arm linked with Kuroo's. They stayed like that in the dark for a while. Kuroo thought about how different everything would be from now on. They would certainly be busy with volleyball practice and games. Kuroo wondered what he'd do while they were out.
"When does practice start for you," Kuroo asked quietly. He put his head on Bokuto's shoulder.
"Next week. But it's super early in the morning. Like 6 AM!" Oikawa complained.
"Oh," Kuroo said. He was sort of glad to know that it was early in the morning. Kuroo only had morning classes, so while he was at school they'd be at volleyball. He felt Bokuto tighten his hold around his shoulders and couldn't help but smile. Sure, for Bokuto this was just a friendly gesture but to Kuroo, it fed into his crush even more.
Bokuto has always known Kuroo like the back of his hand. Usually nobody can see past that shit eating grin Kuroo puts up but Bokuto could always see behind it. He always knew how Kuroo was feeling.
"How many games?" Kuroo asked again.
Iwaizumi answered this time. "Only like 10 i think. Maybe 9. Only 3 of them are away games. The rest are at the gym." He said before reaching behind Oikawa to put his hand on Kuroo's shoulder, "so we'll be home" he said with an understanding smile.
Kuroo hated that. He hated that people had to feel bad for him. Hated that he didn't get to play with stupid Bokuto who made his stupid heart beat like crazy. Hated that Bokuto could tell he was upset. Hated that they all wanted to celebrate but had to stay home with Kuroo and make him feel better because he was too shitty to make a stupid volleyball team.
"Tetsurou, don't cry," bokuto said with a frown. He looked like he wanted to cry as well. Kuroo lifted his head and put a hand to his face. He didn't know when he started crying. He didn't even realize tears flowing down his cheeks. He looked down at Bokuto's shirt where a certain spot on his sleeve looked darker than the rest. He must've gotten his tears on Bokuto's sleeve and that's how Bokuto knew.
He felt Oikawa and Iwaizumi's sympathetic stares. He hated that they were there. He hated everything about this day. As if on cue Kuroo felt his phone ring in his pocket. He grabbed it and looked at the caller id. Kenma.
"Hey kenma," kuroo said softly as he wiped the tears away and leaned forward putting his hand on the bridge of his nose. He felt the apologetic stares on his back, making his face heat up.
"No... I didn't. I told you I wouldn't," kuroo answered trying to laugh it off.
Bokuto's heart felt like it had shattered. He shouldn't have forced Kuroo to try out. He was being selfish. He just wanted to be around Kuroo. He wasn't exactly sure why, but it felt better when Kuroo was near him. He felt like he was becoming a better person with Kuroo around. Kuroo made sure Bokuto didn't act like and idiot, and if he already was, Kuroo was the one to make sure he wasn't being one alone.
"There's nothing to apologize for it isn't your fault that I suck," kuroo said weakly into the phone.
Bokuto wanted to yell. He wanted to tell Kuroo that he was amazing. He wanted him to know that just because he didn't make volleyball doesn't mean he's not an awesome guy.
Kuroo stood up, "no you don't have to come. You've got school," he denied into the phone.
"I'm okay really," he lied. Oikawa looked at iwaizumi with a frown before leaning his head on his shoulder. Bokuto watched as tears silently spilled down kuroo's face.
"I promise it isn't a big deal. No worries ken," kuroo faked.
"Yeah I'll text you if I need you," kuroo said before hanging up.
"I think I'm gonna go to sleep, I'll see you tomorrow", Kuroo said before walking to his room.
Bokuto sighed, "I feel guilty for putting him through this dude," he whined to the couple.
"He'll get over it. It's just a sport," iwaizumi said standing up to take the left over pizza into the kitchen.
"But Iwa it's volleyball. Kuroo loves it!" Bokuto insisted, "and it's making him feel like shit now that he didn't make it. He's so awesome and sweet and funny and he really shouldn't feel bad about it," Bokuto said to the others. Oikawa and iwaizumi looked at each other with a suspicious look.
"Bokuto," Oikawa smiled, "do you have a thing for kuroo-chan?"
Bokuto turned his head like a bullet, "what? No? Kuroo's my best bro!" He said confused.
"Mhmm," iwaizumi said from the kitchen.
"Guys come on. Just because you two are dating doesn't mean me and Kuroo should date," Bokuto defended standing up to help clear the mess of blankets.
"Right" Oikawa said with a shit eating grin, almost as pretty as Kuroo's, Bokuto thought. No stop it. he's your bro.
Weeks went by and the 3 boys continued to go to practice while Kuroo wallowed in self pity in his classes. When he got home he'd go straight to his room without eating. He constantly felt like shit and had a lot of spare time on his hands.
One morning Bokuto decided he'd had enough.
"Kuroo get up," he begged in Kuroo's room.
"Bokuto I'm tired" kuroo complained. It was a lie but Kuroo would never admit that he was upset over a stupid sport.
"Kuroo I know you. I know you're upset right now," bokuto said leaning on the door frame in his practice wear.
Oikawa entered as well, "Kuroo, why don't you come with us?" He asked with a smile.
"Why would I want to come watch you play shittykawa," kuroo said into his pillow.
"Wow rude," Oikawa yelled, pretending to be offended.
"Oikawa's right Kuroo. Why don't you come watch. It'll get you out of the house and you can watch the game. You love watching volleyball," Iwaizumi explained putting his arm around Oikawa.
Bokuto put on a smug smile and he watched Kuroo roll out of bed.
"Fine" he sighed throwing on his shirt and a pair of jeans, following the boys out.
The practice match had been moving in slow motion in Bokuto's opinion. They were losing by a few points and Bokuto was doing everything in his power to get them back.
"Come on Bo," he heard from the side lines. He saw Kuroo leaning against the railing along with the rest of the fans a little bit farther back.
How sweet of him to cheer Bokuto thought. He felt his heart beat get a little faster. He wondered why Oikawa thought Bokuto had a crush on Kuroo. Sure they were best friends and had the same humor, but that didn't mean they should make out and stuff.
Even though Kuroo did have ridiculously pretty lips. But bros can think like that! It's totally allowed. It's not like he's thinking about having sex with him.
Bokuto wouldn't mind doing that either though. With kuroo's soft skin on his, and kuroo's nice long legs wrapped around Bokuto's waist... Or Kuroo's beautiful voice escaping his throat each time a wave of pleasure hit him. Bokuto wouldn't mind feeling those curves Kuroo has either. Or grabbing his nice firm, firm ass.
"Holy shit," Bokuto whispered to himself in sudden realization before a ball came hurdling to his face, knocking him to the floor.
"Bokuto!" Oikawa yelled running toward him.
Bokuto groaned as he felt his entire face ache. The lights were too bright and the crowd was to loud. He refused to open his eyes.
"Kou," he heard from a soft voice. The voice sounded heavenly and he could fall asleep to it talking. He slowly opened his eyes to find Kuroo, face to face with him. His beautiful face. Bokuto wanted to touch it. His perfect nose and bright eyes that were filled with worry. He heard his coach talking but payed no attention. Too focused on kuroo's face.
"Alright let's lift him up" he heard his coach say before he felt a hand grab his arm. He looked for the owner and found it to once again be Kuroo.
"Alright Bo, you gotta help me out, you're bigger than me," kuroo grunted as he pulled Bokuto to his feet.
Slowly they made it off the court and a time out was called.
"What the heck happened? Did you space out?" Kuroo asked grabbing a towel and putting it up against Bokuto's nose.
Bokuto groaned at the ache in his nose when Kuroo touched it. Kuroo put his hand on the back of Bokuto's head and tilted it back.
"It's gonna hurt a bit, you got hit really hard," kuroo explained holding his hand firm against Bokuto's head.
"Thank you," Bokuto said grabbing kuroo's wrist that was closest to his face.
Kuroo grunted in response and a comfortable silence washed over the two.
"Hey you, can you play?" Bokuto heard the coach ask. He assumed it had been for him but when he looked up he saw that his coach had been asking Kuroo.
"Oh I can't play volleyball," kuroo lied. Bokuto looked at him as if he was insane, but couldn't speak with a towel covering his nose.
"Yes you can we saw you at try outs. You almost made the cut too, you were the next one up but we had a cut off right before you," the coach explained.
"Is it even allowed," kuroo asked still holding onto Bokuto.
"Look do you wanna play or not? It's just a practice match and we need someone close to Bokuto's height," the coach said motioning to the rest of the team who were all either really short or super tall.
Bokuto pushed kuroo's hand away and Kuroo shot a glance at him, "yes he does want to play," Bokuto yelled to the coach.
Kuroo glared at him, "Bo I haven't played in-"
"Alright come change into this and let go" the coach said tossing Kuroo a uniform.
Kuroo followed Oikawa into the locker rooms to change.
"Oikawa, I haven't played in like a month and I don't know any of the plays, and I'm not Spiker." Kuroo said shaking his head nervously.
"Dude, I'll teach you the plays. You heard the coach, he thought you were good and you almost made it. Take those complements and use them as confidence because you gotta play. If you can't play for yourself play for Bokuto," Oikawa said in a serious tone.
"I don't like it when you're serious," kuroo sighed, "it grosses me out" he teased.
"Ah so mean tetsu-chan!" Oikawa yelled grabbing his chest.
Kuroo finished changing and followed oikawa out to the gym where he was then explained all of the plays they would do. It was relatively easy to pick up and soon he was out on the court for the first time in a month.
His heart beat out of his chest as a play was called. He watched the ball as it flew high into the air and timed himself as he jumped and smacked the ball down.
The other team stared in shock as the ball flew right past them and landed with such power it echoed throughout the court.
He turned to see his team cheering and felt his heart flutter as he saw Bokuto jumping up and down on the side lines, still holding his nose with an almost bloody towel.
Kuroo felt his heart swell and he continued on with the game.
Bokuto watched as Kuroo swiftly moved, blocking the ball and diving to save it.
"You like him or something?" His coach asked sitting next to him half listening for Bokuto's answer, half watching the game.
"Okay what makes everyone think I like him," Bokuto asked annoyed. He checked to see if his nose was still bleeding and when he saw it wasn't he gave the towel to the manager and sat back down next to his coach. It was silent between them for a minute and Bokuto grew uncomfortable, afraid he had angered his coach.
"It's the way you look at him," his coach said after a while.
"that's just because he's good," Bokuto crossed his arms and continued to watch Kuroo play and smile. He found himself smiling too.
"I've only known you for about a month but I know that you never want to give up an opportunity to play in a game. But you were the one Who wanted him to play. You let him take your spot." his coach said seriously as he gripped the clipboard harder when a particularly close serve was performed by Oikawa. Bokuto frowned and shook his head, piecing together everything his coach had said.
"Were best friends. I can't just say I like him," Bokuto sighed.
"You're just gonna torture yourself instead?" His coach commented. Bokuto stared in shock at how talkative his coach had been.
"listen kid, I care about all of my players and I don't want you to be affected during your game over something that can easily be fixed. Trust me, he looks at you the same way," the coach said before getting up and joining the huddle of his team.
Bokuto blushed. So that means Kuroo might like him. He smiled at that thought. Or maybe his coach was just crazy.
Soon the game ended with their team winning. Everyone smiled and even the team mates that didn't know Kuroo, hugged him and congratulated him. He loved the atmosphere at the game and was upset that he wouldn't be doing it again, but nonetheless he was happy that he could help them win.
Kuroo walked off the court straight to Bokuto and Bokuto opened his arms wide giving kuroo a hug.
"How's your face Bo?" Kuroo asked concerned.
And that's when Bokuto felt it. It was only for a quick second but he felt it. His heart leaped out of his chest and he felt a warm sensation spread through his body. Kuroo just had the time of his life, playing volleyball for the first time in forever, and had so much to brag about, but he chose to ask Bokuto how he was doing. That's when Bokuto knew that he did have feelings for Kuroo. Very strong feelings.
"Uh Bokuto?" Kuroo asked waving a hand in front of him.
Bokuto snapped out of it, "what?"
"You were staring at me funny," kuroo said poking Bokuto's forehead and smiling.
"Ah no it's nothing. Um lets get home I'm tired," he said pushing the warm heat in his chest away.
Kuroo followed him, confused as to what just happened.
"Don't mean to brag or anything, but it was my idea to bring you here," Oikawa gloated as they walked out of the gym. Kuroo scoffed and pushed Oikawa.
"Yeah yeah. Thanks for inviting me, I had fun," kuroo said smiling at the three of them.
It was quiet as they walked to their apartment and Kuroo grew worried that Bokuto was upset with him for taking his place. He decided to wait until they got home to say anything. Maybe Kuroo was just making a big deal out of nothing.
After everyone had taken a shower, kuroo ignoring the nasty fact that iwaizumi and Oikawa went together, the couple had gone to sleep leaving Kuroo alone while Bokuto finished his shower.
When he got out he saw Kuroo looking at him. It had been really late at night and he didn't want to wake up the others.
"What?" Bokuto whispered holding his towel around his waist.
Kuroo blushed, "Is something going on? Are you upset with me," he asked trying to ignore what was underneath Bokuto's towel.
"No kuroo," bokuto said agitated, "I already told you I'm just tired," he finished as he walked to his bedroom. He felt a little guilty for snapping but he needed time to think.
"But you sound really mad at me too bro," Kuroo said following him to his door, he sounded like he was nervous.
"Kuroo-" Bokuto started but Kuroo accidentally cut him off.
"Is it because I played for you," kuroo asked curious. He really just wanted a solution to the problem. He'd die if Bokuto was upset with him and he left without fixing it.
"Kuroo you're not even on the team why would I care if you played for me," Bokuto snapped. He didn't meant for it to come out so rude and after he said it he tensed and turn to look a Kuroo.
Kuroo looked tense too. He lowered his eyes and scratched the back of his head before turning to take his leave.
"No, Kuroo, I didn't mean it like that," bokuto said moving as fast as he could in a towel to grab kuroo's wrist.
"I get it Bokuto I'm sorry," kuroo said trying not to sound hurt but Bokuto knew him remember? He pulled at his wrist trying to free it as he continued walking.
"Kuroo just stop for a second," Bokuto yelled before reaching infront of kuroo to slam the door shut, leaving Kuroo in between Bokuto and the door.
Kuroo lowered his head and let his arm go limp in Bokuto's hold, "what going on," he asked as he turned to face Bokuto. He just wanted to go back to how it was a while ago.
"I... I just need to think this through," bokuto said walking closer to Kuroo, who's back was now pushed against the door. He didn't let go of kuroo's wrist as he searched to find anything in kuroo's eyes that would change his mind.
"Think what through?" Kuroo asked confused, "Listen if it's something I did please just tell me and I'll fix it I-"
Bokuto pressed his lips against Kuroo's. It was messy and Kuroo barely comprehended what had happened. Bokuto pulled back to look at Kuroo.
"What?" Kuroo asked.
"Shit. What that not okay Kuroo. Ugh I'm sorry," bokuto said backing up and away from Kuroo.
"No no, I... I did want that," kuroo said blushing as he walked closer to Bokuto again, "but I didn't know you did too," he smiled.
"Neither did I until today," Bokuto said inching his face closer to Kuroo's before closing the gap once again. This time it was more soft and passionate. Kuroo wrapped his arms around Bokuto's neck, deepening the kiss, while Bokuto wrapped his arms around kuroo's waist.
Bokuto nibbled on kuroo's bottom lip, making Kuroo gasp. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue through and felt Kuroo moan softly as their tongues grazed past each other.
Bokuto pushed Kuroo down lightly and guided him down to his bed.
Kuroo is the first one to break the kiss, "do you wanna put on clothes or?" He pants into Bokuto's neck, suddenly aware of the fact that Bokuto only has a towel tied loosely around his waist.
"Or we can take yours off," Bokuto smiled and looked at Kuroo who's eyes had widened.
"Bro," kuroo said. Bokuto worried that he may have been more excited than Kuroo.
"That was smooth as hell," Kuroo whispers in his ear. Bokuto smiled at that and kissed Kuroo again.
"So yeah?" Bokuto asked with a smile.
"Yeah," Kuroo answered as he put a hand on Bokuto's chest.
When Bokuto woke up he felt the heat once again in his chest but this time it wasn't internal. He looked down to see kuroo's head resting on his chest.
He smiled and ran his hand through his boyfriends bedhead.
"Bokuto if you're gonna fuck Kuroo you could've at least told us so we could find somewhere else to sleep," Oikawa said walking into Bokuto's room.
Kuroo stirred but didn't wake up.
"Oh please we had to live through hearing you moan iwaizumi's name all the time," Bokuto yelled.
Oikawa blushed, "shut up I'm making food and I'll spit in yours if I have to," he said before walking out.
Kuroo woke up when he heard the door slam shut.
"Hey," bokuto said softly, still running a hand through kuroo's bedhead.
Kuroo nuzzled into Bokuto's chest, stroking his hand down to feel his abs. After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes Kuroo looked up at Bokuto, holding himself up on his elbows.
Bokuto looked at him and laughed as he saw Kuroo in his shirt.
"Where did you even find that," Bokuto asks pulling the fabric.
"I had to grab it off the floor. It's cold as hell in here," kuroo said and he scooted closer so that he was face to face with Bokuto.
"I like it when you wear my clothes," Bokuto said putting an arm around kuroo's waist.
Kuroo smiled and tried to hide a blush. Bokuto pulled him closer to his chest and put his head in the crook of Kuroo's neck. He breathed in the smell of Kuroo and himself mixed in from his shirt.
"So what are we now," kuroo asked softly, wrapping his legs around Bokuto.
"do you wanna be my boyfriend?" Bokuto asked hopefully, putting a hand on Kuroo's bare thigh.
"Yeah," Kuroo smiled, "I'd like that," he said as he wrapped an arm around Bokuto's neck.
"Then we're boyfriends," Bokuto said nuzzling his nose with Kuroo's.
After that day, Kuroo came to all of Bokuto's games and cheered him on. He even made friends in the stands with some of the other players girlfriends or boyfriends.
Kuroo moves his stuff into Bokuto's room about a month after they started dating since he really hadn't slept in his own bed.
"Hey Tetsurou," bokuto said grabbing his boyfriends hand. They were sitting on the couch in the living room watching some cheesy romcom. Bokuto's arm was around Kuroo and a blanket was draped over the two of them.
"Yeah Koutaro?" Kuroo said smiling at the use of his first name.
"I love you," Bokuto said kissing kuroo's forehead.
Kuroo blushed and looked away, "how can you just say that?" He said with a smile.
"I don't know, i just needed to get it off my chest," he smiled pulling Kuroo closer if possible.
"Well I love you too," kuroo laughed looking at his boyfriend who was blushing just as much as him.
Bokuto grabbed kuroo's cheek and kissed him.
"Can y'all stop being so lovey dovey in the living room. Me and iwa-Chan were never like this," Oikawa complained as he joined them on the couch.
"Toru we're still like that," iwaizumi laughed sitting next to his boyfriend.
And Kuroo realized sitting on the crowded couch, squished against his boyfriend, that even though he couldn't love volleyball, he could still love Bokuto. And for now that was all he needed.
