For Audrey
"The world is ending, and you're worried about your hair?"
Sirius glances at James's reflection in the mirror and smirks.
"I don't think that finally getting a date with Evans counts as the world ending, Prongs. Now if I don't fix my hair in the next half hour, yeah, that'll be a disaster."
James, sprawled on Sirius's bed, sits up and shakes his head rapidly.
"You don't understand! I've liked her for—months, and what if we go to Hogsmeade and she hates it and she hates me? I will literally die." James turns his gaze pleading. "Do you want me to die? Is that it?"
Sirius ignores him in favor of applying more lotion to his hair.
"Mate, I'm serious. What if she hates me?"
Oh, Sirius realizes. He really does care, then.
"Look," Sirius says, "I dunno what you want me to say. You're a first-rate bloke, and if Evans doesn't see that then she doesn't deserve you. But—look, she seems like a decent sort of girl, I'm sure you'll be fine."
"Really?" James asks, eyes wide and hopeful. He looks pathetic; if this is what love does to people, then Sirius vows to avoid it forevermore.
Sirius nods firmly.
"Now sod off, I've got to finish with my hair."