This is what it feels like to die

by Romanova's radioactive-revenge

What John felt when Sherlock fell. Short and sad and almost a poem but not quite./ Johnlock

A/N: Happy New Year everyone! So far I've been a little sleep deprived, but pretty good.

This is my first Sherlock fic! Hopefully it doesn't completely suck?

It's very short. I'm kind of thinking about doing a proper multi chapter fic with a proper plot and all that stuff, but I'm both really busy and really lazy, so it probably won't happen. We'll see. Anyway.

This is what it feels like to die.

(Goodbye John)

He falls beautifully

down

down

down

(he's always been beautiful)

he hits the ground

a rag man

limp and loose

(remember that time he helped you lose your limp because something makes it seem like he might have just helped you find it again)

running

(remember that time you ran after a cab with a beautiful man and the adrenaline and the lights and you fell in love and he's fallen too not in love of course he doesn't love especially not someone like you but still he fell and his fall probably hurt worse than yours or the landing did anyway because it's always the landing isn't it)

he lies there

(he is a corpse which is odd and strange and peculiar and impossible and what a funny dream this is although you don't find it very funny do you no you find it quite awful)

there is blood

(remember that time he came home covered in it and it was splattered all over his shirt which was white and all over his face which as you may recall is rather beautiful right now though that same face is looking a little worse for wear and there's blood on it again but it's his blood this time)

his wrist

(his pulse he must have a pulse blood pumping raging burning through his veins the way the thoughts are pumping raging burning through his mind his brilliant beautiful mind)

nothing

(you can't feel it but that's alright you must've missed it somehow that's all it was there but you missed it but that's not true is it you didn't miss it because there was nothing to miss because corpses don't have pulses isn't that right)

dragging you away

(you should fight them fight to be close to him so he isn't alone so you aren't alone but all the fight has gone out of you and you let them take him away you can't see him anymore not just because of the tears but because they've taken him inside taken him away from you away forever and he is gone he is gone he is gone he is gone he is gone)

please don't be dead

(short version: not dead)