A/N: I've left this one without character classification, since the people involved and the relationships involved aren't really the same thing. I'm using a very Brody-hostile interpretation of recent events, so fans of Brody should stop reading now.
It's going to be relatively short (4-5 chapters). Cover picture taken from Zombie Dice from Steve Jackson Games.

Chapter 1: A Confederacy of Douches

Well that was a waste of time, Jesse St. James thought as he left his interview with the talent agency. After Carmen Thibideaux's grudging words of approval at Nationals, and the clear evidence in the results that he contributed better to performance success as a performer than as a coach, Jesse had decided to try New York again, this time heading straight for Broadway. He had mailed out resumes and his video portfolio to several top agents, a few of which had actually agreed to see him (or have one of their minions see him), but so far it was all for nothing.

He had another appointment later that afternoon, not one of the better ones but he had to start somewhere, he supposed. Needing coffee, he spotted a cafe that looked like it catered to the performing arts set and headed for it.

Entering, he ran straight into another man who was leaving, each avoiding enough of the other so that the other man still kept hold of his coffee cup, though it was a near thing. Brown trails ran down the outside of the paper cup, dripping onto the ground.

"You idiot!" the other man exclaimed, shaking drops of coffee from his hand. "Why don't you watch where you're going?"

"Why don't you?" Jesse retorted, but did a double-take as he recognized the young man: his old rival from Broadway school workshops, Brody Weston. It had been a while, the last time they'd seen each other had been at the summer intensive just after they'd both finished high school. Brody had been accepted at NYADA and had already moved to New York; Jesse had been there for one last workshop before starting at UCLA that fall.

"Well look who it is," Brody said, clearly having recognized him as well. "Pretty boy St. James."

"Hey farm boy," Jesse replied with a curt nod.

Brody rolled his eyes. "It's a ranch."

"Close enough." The familiar ribbing was comfortable, even two and a half years later.

"It's not like I go there any more anyway, I'm a New Yorker now."

That was new; the Brody Weston that Jesse always used to run into at Broadway training intensives, that one would never have repudiated the family farm where he'd grown up. Ranch. Whatever. Guess success had changed him. Jesse looked at his old rival more carefully, noting the polished facial expression, shorter hair, and much harder body, this last shown off by his trim wardrobe. If he hadn't known the guy was from a ranch in Montana, he'd never have been able to guess. A New Yorker now, like he said.

"What brings you to the big city?" Brody asked, giving Jesse a look of superiority.

"Auditioning," Jesse replied, leaving out that it was merely auditioning for agents, not shows.

"Hmph. Well you owe me another coffee, so you'd better not be totally broke."

Jesse gave Brody a tight smile, hoped fervently that he'd never been that bad himself, and showed the other man back inside the cafe.

Brody insisted on getting his replacement coffee "for here" instead, and they sat down at a table in the window.

"So I hear you didn't last long at UCLA," Brody said, as an opener.

Jesse tried to seem nonchalant, drinking his coffee. "It wasn't what I was looking for."

"Shame it slowed you down. I've been on Broadway already."

"Are you still at NYADA?"

"Oh yes, I only do Broadway outside of term, no way I'm going to stunt my potential by leaving early." Brody jutted his chin out confidently.

"Summer fill-in, huh," Jesse commented. "Was it the chorus? Oh, you've arrived all right, Weston." He noticed Brody's frown. "You get up to much when you're at school? Farm still paying your way?" He gave a slight smirk at Brody's flinch, the guy was clearly stopping himself from retorting "ranch". It wouldn't hurt him to be reminded that the place he'd come from that he claimed to have grown out of was still supporting him.

"I get up to a lot," Brody said. He looked thoughtful for a moment, then smirked. "Actually I have to thank you. That girl you were talking about, the one you said was a much better singer than Cecelia? You talked about her a lot that summer before college when we were both here for the workshop."

"Rachel Berry," Jesse supplied, wondering where Brody was going with this. Of course Rachel was at NYADA too, he'd even helped her get there, or so he'd like to think. And she was a much better singer than Cecelia Cooper could ever hope to be.

"That's the one. Sweet like her name. I bet she'll get all sticky too." Brody laughed. "The cream of the new NYADA class, easily, so thank you for the reference. I might even keep her around a little longer, if she's adventurous enough."

"Ah... what are you talking about?" Ordinarily it would be good to have another connection to Rachel, and he could crow about being right about her voice, but Jesse really didn't like Brody's attitude. Brody had been a bit of an ass before, but he had gotten a whole lot worse over the years, Jesse figured, or maybe it was partly because he'd grown up himself that he noticed. And what Brody was hinting at – what was going on?

Brody shrugged. "You know how it is when you first arrive in a place like this – not that you have really arrived yet – it's a whole different game. Show business and the big city, it's time to be an adult, and it helps if there's someone to show you how." He smiled, not a smirk this time. "My own transition was a real eye-opener, and it's amazing to be part of that for someone else. To get that last bit of wide-eyed sweetness and enjoy opening them up to life." He paused. "It fades so quickly, unfortunately, but luckily there's always new blood coming to town. And Rachel, she's one juicy Berry, just coming perfectly ripe."

Jesse frowned. This was dressed up, but it wasn't that different than what he'd tried, back when he'd been dumb enough to see how close he could get to Rachel while thinking he could treat it as an exercise in acting. "So you're sleeping with her," he grumbled. In that case he was disappointed in her, and anyway what had happened to Hudson?

"Not yet," Brody demurred. "She's been a fun chase. But it won't be long now, it never is, she's already gone all New York to prove that she's sexy and ditched that big lump of a hometown boyfriend."

"Fiance," Jesse muttered under his breath.

"What?" Brody laughed incredulously. "They were engaged, huh? God, she was even more naive than I thought. Good thing she has me to help her be a New York girl now." He shrugged. "The guy showed up for a week, didn't fit in, sure as hell couldn't compete with me though I gave him plenty of room to try, and left with his tail between his legs. He's history."

Jesse flinched a bit at hearing his former romantic rival written off so quickly. Whatever he'd thought about Finn Hudson, he knew Rachel had truly loved him. They had buried the hatchet at Nationals, and he'd even overcome his old jealousy enough to be grudgingly impressed by the tall idiot's performance. And then he'd been canned by Vocal Adrenaline for losing, and he knew it hadn't been all Rachel's doing beating him, either, not when yet again those two had shown the magic they had performing together.

Jesse had never looked for that himself, his performances were all about him and he liked it that way. Though he'd wondered, those three times he'd heard Rachel and Finn sing together, if just maybe he was missing out on something. And now – this was weird, it was like he actually felt sorry for Hudson, listening to Brody's quick dismissal of him. He certainly felt bad for Rachel. And guilty that it might have been remembering hearing about her from him that led to Brody targeting her, though he might have anyway, from what he was saying he'd built up a track record.

Though, seriously? Brody Weston was an asshole. He didn't remember him being this bad, before, just competitive, New York had changed him. And no way did he want Brody to be able to rub it in his face that he'd gotten the girl that was one of Jesse's few regrets, though it was obviously Brody's intention to do so.

Behind him he heard another customer waiting for coffee, moving around a little at the counter.

"So this is something you like to do, now," Jesse stated snidely. "Because training to become a star doesn't take too much of your time."

"Just helping her grow up. And it's so amazing to watch her change right before my eyes, right into who I want her to be. I can hardly wait until she's doing all of what I want her to do, she's going to be a treat."

"What does she get out of it?" Jesse wondered aloud. It was clear Brody didn't intend it to last all that long, just long enough to change who Rachel was and get off from doing it. And while doing it.

Brody stretched, a long deliberate showing off of his muscles and flexibility. "Aside from an amazing lay, at least a few times?" He smirked, then shrugged. "She gets to not crash and burn in New York. She's already shed her little Midwest girl wardrobe and ways, once she completes the Weston Welcome Program she'll be all adjusted to how she needs to be to make it in this biz."

"Adjusted? What does she need to change? She's the most talented person I've ever met."

"Talent isn't everything. If you need someone to be good to you, like a director or casting agent, you have to be prepared to be good to them, and you also have to be able to get and hold their attention. This is the big city, that small-town girl needed someone to show her the ropes." He chuckled. "Not literal ropes, of course. Unless maybe I can get her up for that, who knows. But seriously, hanging on to her past and her hangups was just going to weigh her down and hold her back. New York, new life, calls for a new person, don't you think?"

Movement at a nearby table drew Jesse's attention as the person who had been at the counter sat down, back to them – was that who he thought it was? Surely not. But if it was, and it could be, that person was getting an earful. "And you like doing that," he commented to Brody.

"Sure. Feels powerful, to affect someone that much, to see that light in her eyes shine for me and know that I'm changing her world forever. And I appreciate the people who did it for me, when I arrived, I like the idea that she's going to think about me the way I thought about them. All the best because otherwise she's got what it takes to be a star, she just has to be molded right."

"You're still just a junior," Jesse said, rolling his eyes. "I don't see you taking Broadway by storm just yet, even with your summer fill-in experience. Casting yourself as some all-wise Svengali is getting ahead of yourself."

"What, you think I can't do it?" Brody laughed hollowly. "She isn't the first, won't be the last. She's already changed on the outside, the inside is following, and it's just a matter of time before I get inside and close the deal. She'll be doing whatever I say, and it'll change her life."

And just what was wrong with her before? Jesse shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant as his mind searched for a way to put down Brody. "All I can say is that you've got your work cut out for you if you try to 'close the deal'," he said finally. "I've seen you in your dance belt, remember, not that I looked, and I did briefly go to the same school as them so I've heard the locker-room rumors about the jocks. Including the one about the quarterback's cup needing to be ordered in because ones that large aren't normally in stock. And yours – well, let's just say that I don't see how your equipment is going to be able to satisfy someone who's accustomed to Hudson's colossal dick." A cough from that nearby table momentarily distracted him – it must be who he thought it was, to react to that. Maybe that person would even know if the story was true.

Across from him Brody still smiled, though he did appear nettled. No man likes to be told he's small in that area. "It's not what you've got, it's what you do with it," he retorted.

"Like you said, talent isn't everything."

Brody waved him off and picked up his coffee again, draining it. "Depends on the talent."

"How do you do it, anyway?" Jesse asked, though he was thinking more about managing to not grow a conscience. Weird how he'd managed to get one while Brody had lost his, maybe there was some sort of conscience conservation going on.

"You want to know my secrets, huh?" Brody smirked again, and Jesse thought how annoying that facial expression was. No wonder he pissed people off if he did that too. Brody sat down again. "Hey, why not, it's not like you can pull it off anyway."

"Come on, it's not like you were all that experienced with women that you can make them do things that other guys can't."

"I've been helping train horses since before I turned ten, it's the same thing. You want a high-strung beauty to do what you want? Coax her one step at a time and always let her think it's her idea. I don't make anyone do anything, I go along with whatever they want. But I let them know that I want more even though I tell them I'm respecting their rules, I give them attention, and somehow – what they want changes, a lot further and a lot faster than they ever thought it would." Brody stood up and leaned down, closer to Jesse's ear, his voice soft. "You need a friend, because you're here all alone? I can be that for you. Of course you still love your boyfriend back home, and I respect that, I'll respect your boundaries." He chuckled, and Jesse's stomach turned at the sound. "Even though I definitely don't respect your personal space, but let's dance and I'll let you get used to me one step at a time," he commented, then sank his voice back into the softness it had before. "But just know that I can't get you out of my mind. I'm always thinking about kissing you." He blew air softly, stirring Jesse's hair, and Jesse made as if to swat him away lightly, annoyed. "I know it's too soon for you to move on, you're not looking for a new boyfriend, so let's just see where this goes. I can help you move on if you want to. I don't regret what we did, do you? It doesn't have to happen again, but I really want it to, you are so amazing to be with. Some things just don't work out but no hard feelings, right? We're adults." Brody straightened. "No way you can pull that off, St. James. It really does take a ranch boy." He sauntered off.

Jesse groaned, then painted a smile back onto his face as the person he'd noticed before slowly turned around and rose. It was who he thought it might be, perhaps he'd been followed, or spotted through the window. Face unreadable. A few steps were taken, stopping at his table.

"What are you up to, St. James?"

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