Okay folks to start with I was writing another Labyrinth fic when the plot chickens made me write this little oneshot for Halloween. Like most of you I've been a fan of The Labyrinth fan since I was little and I was introduced to male anatomy thanks to David Bowie. I've never really written Labyrinth fanfic (nothing I've posted yet) before so here's hoping I did a good job with it. So here's my fluffy little Halloween oneshot featuring Jareth and Sarah.

Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth, that belongs to the awesome late Jim Henson. So please don't rise from the grave as a zombie and eat my brains Mr. Henson.

Warnings: This story is rated for mild language, David Bowie's Area, Goblins, caffeine fueled humor and lots of snogging. You have been sufficiently warned. Well, go on, read it! Its got David Bowie's Area and snogging.

A Goblin Halloween

It was Halloween morning and Sarah Williams was still trying to put together a costume. To ordinary observers Sarah was an ordinary sixteen and a half year old girl, however she quite far from being ordinary. For what no one knew, except thousands of goblins, every flower fairy in the Labyrinth walls, a young boy, a worm, and who am I kidding? What everyone knew save the girl's unobservant parents was that the Goblin King had fallen in love with the girl. It had been a year and a half since the girl had solved the Labyrinth and defeated the Goblin King. Her victory had dire consequences as she had found out a year later when a broken hearted Goblin King came back to her in need of her help. After facing hardships unnumbered and dangers untold together with the Goblin King, the girl had fallen in love with him too, but that is a long story for another time.

For half a year Sarah had been dating none other than the Goblin King, or rather courting as Jareth liked to call it. The goblins however, called them married, 'There is no way I'm counting that stupid goblin tradition as a wedding!' Sarah thought angrily. Jareth would've loved to consummate their traditional goblin marriage with another goblin tradition that involved the groom eating various fruits off the bride's naked body, thorough use of a riding crop and a feather. Had Jareth attempted to complete their 'marriage' at the time he would've lost a precious part of his anatomy. After much arguing they had found a compromise but again that's a long story for another time. Her parents of course didn't even know Jareth existed, they thought that he was someone she made up and that, she thought, was probably for the best, 'Jareth would be rather hard to explain to them, at least right now anyway. It will be an interesting day when they do meet him to say the least.' She thought amusedly.

Though they had a rocky start in their relationship, stealing her brother and putting her through that labyrinth didn't help Jareth at all, but it was now going rather smoothly. Jareth always magically appeared in a puff of glitter whenever Sarah was alone, which was quite often. When she babysits for Toby she would invite Jareth over for a movie and lots of kissing, Sarah tingled and blushed at the memory of his lips on hers. Sometimes he would take her to his castle during her lunch hour at school to dine with him instead of putting up with the prison-like gruel they served in the school cafeteria. She remembered when he found out the kind of "food" her school was feeding her.

Sarah sat outside the cafeteria on one of the seldom used outdoor tables, no one but her usually used these tables. She liked it here because the trees granted some privacy and she could read without the noise of the crowded cafeteria. She looked dismally at her food from the cafeteria, it looked as though it were made from cardboard. She looked at her 'meatloaf' with great disgust and pushed the tray away, not feeling hungry enough to eat the non-edible substance in front of her, "I wish I had something to eat, something that actually has flavor…"

Sarah suddenly felt a pair of warm arms wrap around her and she heard Jareth's voice whisper sweetly into her ear, "Did you need me precious?"

Sarah yelped in surprise, "Jareth! What are you doing here? I'm so glad to see you but what if someone sees us?"

Jareth nuzzled her and chuckled softly into her ear, "Don't worry my love, between my magic and these trees, ordinary mortals cannot see nor hear us. We could strip naked and start dancing and singing as loud as we want and no one would notice. As appealing as that sounds I have a wish to grant, how does snogging me sound? I am quite tasty and I have flavor, especially if you lick me in all the right places." He murmured suggestively into her ear.

Sarah giggled when Jareth found a ticklish spot on her neck, "As appetizing as you sound, what I do want right now is some better tasting food then what this school gives me to eat, today is meatloaf day." She pointed at her tray that had a large grayish brown lump on it that dared call itself meatloaf.

Jareth looked at where she pointed and his face wrinkled with disgust and he made a choking sound, "Dear god what is that?! This is not food, this is a punishment! No queen of mine shall be forced to eat this slop! Come along with me Sarah and I shall get you something far more edible..."

After that whenever the lunch bell rang she would find herself magically poofed to either his castle or any restaurant of her choice and always with him treating, usually it was her favorite cafe down the street. She loved their lunches together, he always had an interesting story to tell in his long reign as Goblin King. Sarah now sat glumly in her room staring into her mirror. Lately whenever she brought up the subject of Halloween he would get an odd look on his face and try to change the subject. Today he skipped lunch and she was determined to find out why and she knew just who call. She looked into her vanity mirror, "Hoggle, I need you."

It was a moment later that she saw her closet door thrown open and Hoggle came crashing out, "Hello Sarah, mind if I hides here for a while? His majesty's been real grumpy, not unusual this time of year but this year the rat's worse than ever."

Sarah raised an eyebrow, "So you know why Jareth has been a little off lately? What's so important about Halloween?"

Hoggle looked at incredulously, "You means you don't know? The day you call Halloween also falls on a very old and very important goblin holiday, Kingy Day. It's the day that celebrates the birth of the Goblin King. Jareth was never fond of the day himself, I don't knows why so don't ask."

Suddenly Jareth's odd behavior made more sense to Sarah, "So it's Jareth's birthday? Thank you for telling me Hoggle. By the way, why do you need to hide here?"

Hoggle sighed, "I decided to try my hand at poetry and I may have made a joke about the king's age, the goblins loved the joke but unfortunately Jareth didn't think it was funny. I need to hide from him for a while otherwise it's the bog for me."

"What was the joke?" Sarah asked curiously.

Hoggle chuckled, "It was a pretty good one too, came up with it meself. It goes like this: Many a goblin and faerie know the wisdom and age of old man Burt, but what few know is the oldest goes to his majesty for he's older than dirt!"

Sarah tried not to laugh but she failed miserably and she was having trouble breathing from laughing so hard, "Ha ha ha oh my god! Heh if Jareth finds you, you are dead meat! Ha ha ha!"

Hoggle growled at her, "You think I don't know that?! Knowing him he'll probably come up with a punishment even worse than the Bog of Eternal Stench!"

Sarah looked at her friend with pity, she personally knew the smelly horrors of the bog. If she can cheer Jareth up he will probably forget all about Hoggle's little joke. A few ideas suddenly came to her and Sarah smiled mischievously, 'Well at least now I know what to dress up as this year.' She patted her friend's head who looked at her with pleading eyes, "Don't worry Hoggle you can hide here until forgets about your joke, when the week is out your joke will have gotten old, no pun intended, and you can go back home. In the mean time I'll go shopping for the perfect gift for him that'll put him in good spirits, a happy Jareth is a merciful Jareth and I think I know just what to get him too."

Sarah fished her wallet out of her nightstand, hoping she had enough to put together this particular costume. Hoggle looked at her curiously and he raised his eyebrow at her, "What exactly did you have in mind?"

Before Sarah raced out the door she gave Hoggle a short answer that raised more questions, "Bettie Page!"

The door slammed closed and Sarah left Hoggle asking himself, "What's a Bettie Page and how will it make the king happy?"

Sarah found herself in a lingerie store buying a pin-up calendar girl costume for the Goblin King's birthday, she silently added this to her list of 'Things I thought would only happen when pigs fly.' Sarah was grateful that the lady at the register didn't so much as raise an eyebrow at her or at the very risqué lingerie she bought though it wasn't unusual considering that it was Halloween. It was a little expensive but she had some allowance and several months of lunch money saved up thanks to the Goblin King. Sarah let out a sigh of relief as she left the store with her bag of unmentionables she hopes her parents would never find. When she got home she found her parents attempting to get Toby's green goblin costume on and the irony of her parents dressing Toby up as a goblin was not lost on Sarah. Right now they were trying to catch her little brother and her parents weren't having much success. The toddler apparently decided that going trick or treating in his birthday suit with a pot on his head and wielding a spatula as a sword was an acceptable costume.

Sarah slipped upstairs to her bedroom thankfully unnoticed, 'Toby, you are the best little brother ever!' She silently thanked her little brother again for the timely distraction. When she got to her room, Hoggle was gone. He left a badly scribbled note saying that he went to go find Ludo and Sir Didymus for a game of scrabble in her bedroom. She decided since he was gone, she would put her Bettie Page costume on which consisted of red stilettos, black fishnet stockings with a matching black lace bodice which accentuated her breasts and she completed the costume with red lipstick and mascara. Once done Sarah examined her work with satisfaction, "If this little number doesn't fry Jareth's brain I don't know what will."

Suddenly her bedroom door burst open and her little brother ran in with her stepmother in tow. Her little brother hid behind her legs screaming, "Hide me Sawah!"

Sarah's stepmother stopped and stared at her stepdaughter momentarily forgetting her original objective of getting Toby's costume on. "Um, Sarah? I hope you don't plan on going trick or treating with us in that, your father would have a heart attack. Though I admit that is a good designer you're wearing, you didn't pay full retail price for that did you?"

Sarah sputtered, "What?! No, it was on sale! Wait, What am I saying? Look, could you please leave?"

Sarah was trying to shoo her Stepmother and Toby out the door but luck wasn't with her as her father waltzed right on in, "Honey, did you catch Toby yet— Good lord Sarah! What on earth are you wearing? Are you trying to give me a heart attack or something?"

Sarah finally snapped, "Can't I get some privacy! Out!"

Sarah practically shoved her family out of her room and she locked and barricaded the door with a chair. She let out a sigh of relief and her door burst open, this time it was her closet door. It was Hoggle and he was holding a scrabble box. He quirked an eyebrow at her, "What are you supposed to be? Some kind of witch-queen?"

"No actually, I'm dressed as Bettie Page the pin-up calendar queen. I know where Jareth keeps most of his brain, it's a wonder that he can think with those tight pants of his, one would think they would cut off circulation. One look at this costume and he'll forget all about your old joke." Sarah replied.

The closet door burst open again and this time it was Ludo and Sir Didymus that walked through. "Hello Sawah!" Ludo happily cried, he did not seem to even notice her costume.

Sir Didymus however gasped in shock at Sarah's scandalous costume, "Milady! Why is thou dressed like a common tavern wench?"

Hoggle humphed, "She says she's a Bettie Page, apparently it's some kind of queen."

Sarah loved her friends but she was getting tired of her room being heavily trafficked, "Is my room grand central or something?"

Once again her closet doors opened and several goblins waltzed through. When they saw Sarah they pointed excitedly at her and exclaimed proudly, "Queenie dress like Kingy!"

Sarah's eyebrows rose close to her hairline, "I don't recall seeing Jareth wearing women's lingerie, unless there is something about your King you're not telling me…"

The goblins suddenly found interest in the floor, "We is not supposed to talk about the Miss Lovely incident."

Sarah brain supplied an image of Jareth dressed like a Dr Franknfurter and snorted at that image. She fired one question after another at the goblins, "The Miss Lovely incident? When did Jareth ever wear women's underwear?"

The goblins looked tightlipped but Hoggle answered her, "The Miss Lovely incident is something the old royal rat himself forbidden its mention on pain of death, 'specially to you Sarah. It was one of his greatest moments of shame and since he's not here I suppose I could tells ya. It's really funny too!"

Before Hoggle could tell Sarah what promised to be an entertaining story a familiar voice drifted from the closet, a familiar and very angry voice, "HOGPARTS! When I get a hold of you the bog will seem like a tropical cruise in comparison to what I'll do to you!"

Jareth came out of the closet with his eye's burning with fury and one of her ugly pink dresses that she never wore hanging off his head. The Goblin King wore the same dark leather and silk regalia when she first met him in her parent's bedroom that fateful night. He threw her dress on the floor and he suddenly stopped, his anger with Hoggle completely forgotten when he saw Sarah in her new pin-up girl costume. His eyes swept over every curve of her body appreciatively and he drank in the sight greedily. He strutted towards her like a peacock and he pulled her body against his own. He purred seductively into her ear, "My, my precious. I do so enjoy this rather fetching outfit you wear, it is without a doubt the second best thing I've seen you wear."

Sarah giggled as she felt Jareth's warm breath tickling her throat and his lips ghosting over her neck. She asked him, "Second best? What's the first?"

Jareth smiled predatorily like a cat eyeing the canary, "Why you birthday suit of course. You look positively radiant when you wear nothing but your own bare skin."

Sarah's faced flushed and her heart sped up under Jareth's hungry gaze. Sarah felt how warm his body was pressed tightly against hers and his warm hands on the small of her back keeping her imprisoned in his arms. Sarah felt his desire growing from beneath the thin fabric of his oh so tight pants. A jolt of pleasure shot through her entire body as his warm lips descended upon hers. She weaved her hands into his silky golden locks and deepened the kiss. Her mouth opened willingly for him and their tongues danced against one another. She rocked her hips against his which elicited a groan from him and then they were reminded that they were not alone when their audience giggled. Some of the goblins were making kissy faces while the others were holding up score cards almost all were tens except Hoggle's which was less a then enthusiastic eight point nine. Jareth was not amused, "Get out! All of you, before I bog the lot of you! And you, Haggle, wasn't I mad at you? I can't quite seem to remember, what was it again?"

Hoggle froze like a deer in the headlights while everyone else fled back to the labyrinth through Sarah's closet. Hoggle fearfully stammered, "Its Hoggle, your majesty. I was uh…"

Jareth cut him off, "Oh well its probably something negligible. Just get back to work and get rid of those blasted fairies in castle flower gardens. The bloody things have already ruined half of my prized blue roses. Now scram!"

Hoggle ran as fast as his stubby legs could carry him back to the labyrinth. Sarah was resisting the urge to dance for joy, 'Ha! I knew the underwear idea would work! Now he's got a lot of questions to answer.' She thought proudly to herself. She smiled enticingly at Jareth and shoved him onto her bed. Jareth inhaled sharply when Sarah straddled him and pinned him under her. He let out a moan of pleasure when she ground her hips against his. Sarah leaned in closer to him and whispered softly into his ear, "If you want me to continue, you are going to answer all of my questions."

Jareth looked up at her alarmingly and saw her tantalizing eyes looking down on him, "Your eyes can be so cruel." He sighed in defeat, eager to get the interrogation over with so they could get back to more important things like snogging, "Fine. You win. What do you want to know?"

Sarah was surprised he gave in so easily and she remembered the Miss Lovely incident the goblins mentioned. A stab of jealousy went through as she thought that this 'Miss Lovely' could be an old girlfriend, "Tell me who this Miss Lovely is! Is she your old girlfriend? I'll bog her!" Sarah demanded Jareth, her green eyes blazing with jealousy.

Jareth went still then he let out a laugh and he kept laughing until he was struggling to breathe, "Ha! You think Miss Lovely was a past lover? Heh I should probably kill those goblin for even mentioning that horrid incident. You see, precious, Miss Lovely was me. Tell me Sarah do you know what a beauty pageant is?"

Wherever Sarah's train of thought was heading, it was now derailed, she stared at Jareth dumbfounded. "You were in a beauty pageant?" Sarah asked incredulously.

Jareth sighed as he felt a little more of his dignity die, "Unfortunately yes, it was a cash prize and I needed the money. I was stranded in your mortal world and apparently no one in Britain took goblin currency. You see every once in a while, the goblins revolt against me over something, I believe this time it was the right to marry their chickens and I get banished to the mortal world for about a fortnight before they beg me to come back. Believe me when I say I look forward to their revolts, it's a welcome vacation, its never permanent though. The goblins just can't run a country, they don't have the brains nor the attention span for politics. So there I was stranded in your world covered in eggs and peaches…"

"Wait, why were you covered in eggs and peaches?" Sarah interrupted.

Jareth sighed and drawled, "I was Impeached and exiled. Get it? Impeached and egg-xiled? That's goblin wit for you, any sharper and maybe they can cut paper with it."

Sarah groaned at the horrible pun and Jareth continued his story, "Anyway I was stranded in the Above with currency no one would take and then I saw a flyer for a local beauty pageant. With a lot of stage magic and little fey magic I was able to not only enter but win. Unfortunately I had to run, in high heels no less, as soon as I was crowned Miss Lovely and I had the money and the bouquet of roses in my arms because my rather ample masculinity was revealed to all. My fey magic chose that moment to wear off. The other contestants were relieved when they realized they weren't attracted to a woman and the male judges were horrified that they were ogling a man. I managed to outrun the angry mob in high heels and my willy dangling for all to see down a crowded street. The goblins came back earlier than usual to get their king back, apparently the bloody bastards were in the audience taping my performance. I got back to my castle and scraped together what was left of my dignity. I then decreed that any mention of that incident be punished with a gruesome death by horrible polka music. I beg of you, Sarah, please don't ever mention this story again."

Sarah listened with rapt attention and tried her best to keep from laughing but she failed miserably. She was holding her ribs and snorting ungracefully. Her laughter died down when she remembered that he had skipped their lunch date and that today was his birthday. "Jareth why didn't you show up for our lunch today? I had to find out from Hoggle that it was your birthday. Why didn't you tell me your birthday was on Halloween?"

Jareth gave Sarah a rueful grin, "I'm sorry precious, I love you very much but my birthdays are always dreadfully depressing affairs. I didn't want you see me like that, a pitiful king miserable on his own birthday. Every year the goblins subject me to terrible singing and even worse gifts, half-eaten candy and screaming children. I end up spending the night cleaning up their mess and dumping ungrateful children back to their homes. The little morons think I actually want someone else's bratty child. My birthday is the reason behind many of your Halloween traditions. Goblins go out on this night shopping for last minute gifts and human parents would dress up their children as monsters so the goblins would mistake their children for fellow goblins so they wouldn't be taken. Humans would give strange creatures that come to their door on All Hallow's Eve treats so they would not have a nasty trick played on them, goblins can be very spiteful and clever when it comes to tricks. It's a day that constantly reminds me of a thankless job that I never truly wanted and this year I am reminded on just how long I have been doing this."

"That does explains a few things but why didn't you tell me sooner?" Sarah asked him gently.

Jareth looked away forlornly unable to meet her kind gaze, "I didn't tell you because I turn forty this night."

Sarah quirked her eyebrow at him, "Um, Jareth. I was given the strong impression that you were many centuries old."

"I am. I am forty centuries not forty years." Jareth simply replied.

Sarah's eyes bugged, "You're four thousand years old?! Wow! You're older than most mummies in the museum, I mean you're older than most things in just about every museum. Holy shit you're ancient!"

Jareth slumped and let out a dispirited sigh, his depression returned leaving him feeling like someone dropped a lead weight on top of him, "A part of me feared that you would desire me less if you knew how wide our age gap was. I see my fears were not entirely unfounded. I guess I am a little old for someone so full of youth."

Sarah looked down at her dejected Goblin King with a love and tenderness that Jareth feared he would never see directed his way ever again. Sarah gently brought a hand to his face and giggled, "Aww, has my Goblin King reached his mid-life crisis? I guess we'll have to get you a shiny new sports car to go with your hot young queen."

Jareth glared at her but then grinned when he realized something, "Did you just admit that you are my queen?" He said rather smugly.

Sarah silenced him with a finger on his lips. "Let me finish, I don't care if you're a thousand or a million years old. As long as you will be there for me even if my world falls down I will love you. Now why don't you enjoy your birthday gift, I did get this for you after all."

Jareth's heart swelled with joy at her sincere words of love, "Thank you, precious. I think this is easily the best birthday I've ever gotten."

Sarah descended on him with hungry lips and Jareth responded to her passionate kiss with fervor. When they parted for breath Sarah gasped, "Happy Birthday, Jareth."

Jareth threaded his fingers through his love's dark locks and smiled warmly, "Happy Halloween, Sarah."

Author's Note: Well there you have it. If you all like this fic review and tell me. I have started writing the prequel to this and it will come with plot. I've got the first three chapters written so far and I'll post when I am done writing it so review and tell if you want me to continue with it