Title: Drinking With Chuunin
Pairings: KoteIzu, KakaIru (indirectly)
Summary: Anko, Genma, and Raidou at a bar waiting for Kotetsu and Izumo.
Disclaimer: I own no one, and nothing. Probably not even the idea 'cause I'm sure it's been used. This isn't to say I've stolen the idea either. It just popped into my head
AN: This is my first fic. I appreciate constructive criticism, but flames will be used to cook more mac 'n cheese. If you don't like something tell me why, maybe I can fix it. And vice versa. Please R&R.
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Anko was attempting to balance a kunai on her nose, while a man with an excessively long needle hanging from his mouth was trying to build a card house, and the only other occupant at their table, Raidou, was watching them with bored impatience.
"You did tell them the right time, didn't you?"
"Yeah, of cour…." The Genma began. "Fffuck," he dropped his head to the table with a sigh as his sixteen room house toppled down. Turning to the side he spotted one of their absent comrades. "Well, there's Izumo-san," he continued.
"Hmmm?" Queried the woman absently, more absorbed in her impromptu balancing act as she tilted her chair back onto two legs.
As the bored, scarred man followed his friends' gaze, the corners of his mouth lifted in a smile. "He's starting already? Maybe you'll have a chance to actually win tonight, Genma-kun."
"Pfft."
"Oi. No comments from the peanut gallery."
"Good grief. Who's he flirting with now?" Raidou glanced at Anko in mild concern when her concentration wavered and an odd, half strangled sound escaped her throat. "Your gonna get yourself killed. You know that, right?" A grunt was his only answer.
During his friends' exchange, if it could be called that, Genma had continued to study Izumo's current drinking buddy. The man looked familiar…
"Isn't that that academy teacher?" Pause. "You know, the one from the nominations."
"Umino-san?" Both men stared as Anko suddenly overbalanced, and landed with a clatter on the floor. One hand gripped the kunai that should have killed her as she gawked at the two men laughing at the bar.
"Shit. I nearly forgot." She then got up righted her chair and sat back down, this time with all four legs on the floor. "Right! You guys aren't gonna believe this! I was in the mission room today…"
Genma and Raidou groaned in unison, drowning her out. "Kami, not another Mission Room Rumor," Raidou moaned.
"Haven't we heard enough of these," Genma added starting again on his card house.
A pulse point throbbed on Anko's forehead. "Fine," she exclaimed. "Thirty bucks says Umino-san's fucking Hatake-san!" Again the cards collapsed.
Genma and Raidou were still gaping at her when the last member of their party finally made his appearance. "Hey guys, so what are we talking about?"
"Anko seems to think that Hatake-san's gay, and fucking Umino-san," said Genma. He was already starting to lose interest in this new bit of gossip. I mean, come on. The guy's always got himself buried nose deep into porn…Straight porn. Raidou glanced at him uncertainly.
"You've got to be shitting me." All three looked at Kotetsu who was obviously fighting back a smile.
"It's true," said Anko, her voice bordering on petulant.
"Hey, Izumo, come here," Kotetsu called. As one the others turned to look at the bar. Kotetsu felt an eyebrow twitch when he was ignored. "Izumo, get your hand off Iruka-san's ass, and get your ass over here.
Izumo turned to scowl at his friend before once more whispering in Iruka's ear. Iruka nodded slowly, as his drinking partner patted his shoulder and sauntered over to his friends' table. "This better be good."
"Trust me. Tell him what you told me," Kotetsu instructed. "You might want to sit down for this." Izumo felt curiosity stir at the chuckle he heard lacing his lover's voice.
Defiantly Anko declared, "thirty bucks says Umino-sans fucking Hatake-san."
"Yeah, so?" At the slack-jawed faces staring at him, his eyes widened. "You're joking, right?" He dropped into the last open chair, laughter bubbling in his throat and dancing in his eyes.
"And they're the fucking jounin," snickered Kotetsu at which point both men dissolved into peals of laughter.
Three dumbfounded jounin stared in bewilderment. "Wha-," Genma managed.
Kotetsu sat up, wiping a tear from his eye. "So tell me Anko, how did you come about this revelation?"
Anko was starting to get annoyed again, but this was what she'd wanted to tell from the beginning, so she swallowed any retorts she might have made. "Well, when I was in the mission room today Hatake-san limped into the place. Which is weird right, 'cause all he does anymore is train those kids, and I don't see any of them being able to actually land a hit on him." The others nodded agreement. "Well right after he limps in, Umino-san looks up and gets this big shit-eating grin on his face."
Raidou perked up, "like a cat that got the cream and the canary? I've seen that before, I just never new what it was about."
"Well, when Hatake-san got to the front of the line, Umino-san asked him if he'd injured himself, and Hatake-san, swear to kami, blushed."
Still doubtful, Genma interrupted, "Dude, I know Umino-san bats for both teams, but Hatake-san's straight." He paused. "Right?" Anko shrugged.
"Doesn't matter," stated Kotetsu. Anko and Genma turned to look at him, and blinked. His eyes became distant as he continued, "when that boy has his lips wrapped around you it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, or even if Orochimaru's invading the village."
With a glance at Raidou, Izumo softly added, "his mouth is magic."
Following his gaze, Anko and Genma were surprised to find a now blushing Raidou sitting between them. A little put out, but curious never the less, Anko asked, "what's he do?"
"He-" Kotetsu interrupted with a smirk, "I think we should let Raidou-kun tell them."
To Genma's astonishment his best friend was now beet red. If he's blushing, then this is gonna be good.
"Oh, yeah. Come on, Raidou-kuun, spill," Izumo said gleefully.
Genma watched his friend curiously, while Anko's face was a mask of astonishment. "Whaa..," it would have been hilarious if every one hadn't been so intent on Raidou who was mumbling something.
"What? Say that again, I don't think anyone heard you."
With a glare at Kotetsu, the blushing man furiously whispered, "he hums, alright? Happy now?" Unbelievably he flushed still more.
Kotetsu sat back with a satisfied smirk that said, yes, he was indeed very happy. Very happy.
"Hums," gaped Anko, completely dumbfounded.
"Yeah," sighed Izumo. "He'll be sucking you off, with your cock halfway down his throat, and you think it can't get any better. And then," he shuddered, "he hums."
"Hey, 'Zumo, how drunk did you get him tonight?"
Pulled back to reality, the chuunin pursed his lips in thought. "Well, considering tonight was the monthly teacher meeting…added together, probably more than that night you took him home."
"That's what I thought." He pondered for a moment. "Here's a bet for you Anko-san: 100 bucks says Kakashi can't even walk straight tomorrow, and 30 says he has a limp for the next week."
"Done," she smirked just as Raidou said, "Anko don…" Dropping his head to the table he could only groan when she turned to him and asked, "What?"
"You better cut back on the dango, if you plan to be able to cough the cash at the end of the week."
"Paah," she waved her hand dismissively, "the guy's too drunk to even do anything."
"What aren't you telling us," Genma wondered allowed.
Kotetsu only smiled, but Izumo answered, "Iruka only gets hornier when he's drunk, and more aggressive. The last time he was this drunk, he fucked Kotetsu."
"Could barely stand to sit the next day." And Anko suddenly had the sinking feeling that she was going to lose this bet.
"Kotetsu never bottoms," added the man's lover.
Yep definitely gonna lose. Unless she could waylay the chuunin. Quickly she glanced back to the bar, "hey, he's gone."
The others looked with her. "Well, guess that's our cue. Five card stud," asked the spiky haired man as he began to gather up the fallen house.
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The next day it would be noted that Kakashi never showed up in the mission room or on the bridge for his team's training. For which team seven vowed to see Kakashi's head on a platter.
Anko spent the entire day arguing with an amused Kotetsu over whether anyone had won the bet since 'can't even walk straight' implies being capable of walking. Which Kakashi seemed to be avoiding at all costs, given that he'd sent Pakkun to retrieve his lunch from Ichiraku (rumor had it that Iruka paid extra for them to make miso soup with eggplant). He was determined to spend the day lounging atop Yondaime's head with his favorite Icha Icha.
And for his part, Iruka spent the entire day with a Cheshire cat grin which clearly stated that not only had he gotten the cream and the canary, but the whole herd of cows, and a sweet jounin ass to boot. Many of the nin coming through the mission room had no clue what had happened, but certainly hoped that whatever it was would become a regular occurrence. Never before had the young chuunin been so accommodating, and lenient about mission forms.