Hello I'm going under the alias of Little Muse. Why? I'm not exactly sure, I just like the name. I have been a part of the fanfiction community for years now. I have read so many stories that have made me laugh, cry, feel irrationally angry, or overly emotional. This however is the first time that I have chosen to actually write my own story. It's a story I've had in my head for a while but have been too scared to publish. If you're wondering why I chose to publish it now, or are not, it's because I have chosen that this year I will do things that scare me. What I mean by that is scare me in a good way or more like challenge me. Writing is something that I would consider myself to be somewhat good at and really enjoy. I'm honestly also doing this because I want your feedback on my story. I want to know how I make you guys feel through the character's perspective and if I can capture the emotions that I feel when I get emotionally invested into a story. I hope that you guys stick with me through the end and I look forward to reading your reviews. The good and bad. Now without further a due, I present to you... Bad Habit.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
Description: Clary has a bad habit her mother wants to keep her from. A bad habit Clary would say is not so bad, especially when it feels so right.
*buzz buzz buzz
She loved the feeling of being on the edge. The anticipation, the build up, and the aftermath.
*buzz buzz buzz
It wasn't like having the real thing but sometimes you just have to do it yourself. In the end only you know what you like best.
*buzz buzz buzz
"Hmmmm... fuck."
She liked doing it while watching it on screen. Don't get her wrong she could also get herself off from her imagination. But there's something about cumming at the precise moment as the people on the screen do that makes it feel more satisfying.
*buzz buzz buzz
"Ugh... yesss."
She was close and so were they. She liked watching it go in and out while she heard their cries of pleasure.
*buzz buzz buzz
"Fuck... I'm gonna come." She whispered to nobody while she worked the vibrator in and out of herself. She sped up her movements until she was finally over the edge and let herself feel consumed by her orgasm.
She lay there for a minute. Breathing in and out, trying to catch her own breath. After the numbness went away and she could breath normally again she felt the same thing she had been feeling for a while, unsatisfied. She wanted more. She always craved for more. Once was never enough.
Maybe that's why her mom was making her go see the counselor. Maybe she did need help. But what was so wrong about craving sex? What was so wrong about wanting to be in a sexual relationship? It wasn't like she thought about it 24/7. She could feel satisfied if she got what her body craved for. Her mother acted like the only thing in her mind was sex. It really wasn't. She tried to explain it to her mother but she never understood.
See no one ever questions a teenage boys sexual drive. They are allowed to feel overly horny because that's normal. But what about girls? We don't even think about that until we fall in love. Or we're not that horny. That's bullshit. If we had dicks we would have noticeable boners too. For my mom I'm some cheap whore with daddy issues. But really I'm just a regular 17 year old girl who wants a boyfriend to take care of me both emotionally and sexually.
But I've been denied that until my psychiatrist/doctor/therapist etc. determines if I'm a sex addict. I have been prohibited to even talk to the opposite sex let alone look at them.
I might as well sleep now that I know I won't feel satisfied for a while. After hiding my "inappropriate" stash and cleaning up I get back to bed rehearing my mother's words from earlier this week.
"Clary we could both use a fresh start so please stop being so dramatic about it. Remember what we agreed on!"
The agreement. She would pay for my college tuition wherever I chose to go and in whatever I chose to study as long as I stopped spreading my legs. Her words not mine... or maybe that last part was a little bit mine but it was emphasized that I shouldn't be having sex before marriage so you get the point. See my mother is a woman of God, a member of the church, the holiest of holy. Or so she thinks. The first time she caught me in a explicit act lets just say I had to call 911 because she stopped breathing.
Maybe a fresh start was what I needed because I don't exactly have the best reputation right now after what... never mind I don't want to think about it let alone remember. Tomorrow new day, new life, and a fresh start. Maybe this fortune teller/nutritionist/coach can help me answer the question I have been asking myself for a long time... Why is it so bad that I'm horny?
So what did you guys think? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Were you confused at first? Or did you catch on to what was happening? As for right now I don't have a posting schedule yet, but when I do sort that out I will let you guys know so that I don't leave you guys hanging. Also I do have a somewhat clear vision of where I want to take this story and might have a possible ending already. But who knows? I might change my mind. I do predict that it will be a long story and the chapters somewhat long so please bear with me on that. Also let me know what you guys though of the first chapter! Until next time!