Hey y'all! So, I was into hetalia when I was 12, and well, now I'm 17 and shit and I kind of got back into hetalia again. Whoops, my interests slipped. Anyways, I'm gonna cross-post this on Ao3 too, I had another account where I cross-posted my Earthbound fic, but I totally forgot it, but I decided to cross-post it because I do what I want. Anyways, I thought, 'why don't I use my old account that has really cringy, old, and embarrassingly-bad fanfics on them?' Then I was all 'michelle, you're a genius!' and now, I'm here. This is honestly a huge mess. I don't know. 2nd semester of school starts tomorrow, and I wrote this all in one sitting. If there's any spelling mistakes, I'll come back and fix them up later. But enough of my rambling, here's the first chapter of Ad nauseam, which I KIND OF have an outline for, but don't take my word for it, I'm only the author, and I never know what I'm doing and love to change things up whenever I feel like it should be.

Fun fact, I posted this without double-checking. I spelled Toris's last name like Laurantis at first. LMAO I'm a mess.

Okay, for realsies. Here's the first chapter.

Toris Laurinaitis wouldn't necessarily call himself popular at school. Hell, a lot of the times, people didn't even know his name. Or they knew his name, but not his face. And if the students at Gakuen High School didn't know his name, he was referred to as 'that one kid who dated Ivan Braginski'. Before dating Ivan, Toris just thought of him as 'that quiet kid who sat next to me in art class'. Toris didn't know what to think of him, in fact, he honestly found the tall guy a tad creepy. But one day, Ivan got chatty, the two began talking. Then, one day, without warning, Ivan had asked the poor Lithuanian out, and if Toris had been drinking a cup of coffee at the moment he would've spat it out in complete shock. I mean, he's never been asked out before. He wasn't even sure what to make of this guy, why, Toris felt more flattered than he did have butterflies in his sfftomach. Hell, he wasn't sure if he was emotionally stable for a relationship, then again, it's high school, so who really is?

Toris was still in complete shock, and found himself smiling awkwardly at the guy. Nervously, he nodded his head, a look of excitement on his face.

The excitement didn't last for long.

Whatever he didn't know about Ivan now, he didn't want to know. Because after dating him, he had learned enough. To put it simply, Ivan was messed up, his whole family. messed up, and that year of dating him was purely, and utterly, fucked up. Toris didn't like looking back at the relationship they had together, but still often did. Within a month of dating him, Toris realized three crucial things.

1. Ivan was apparently popular, and hung out with 'the popular kids'.

2. Ivan was a hard kisser. Because of this, Toris tried to initiate hugs instead. His Russian ex-boyfriend was oblivious to the fact, and also liked to give kisses.

3. He was gaining 'popularity'. People started to recognize him, people he didn't even know, and he even befriended some of the 'the popular kids'. Often times they would ask him questions about Ivan, and Toris would often try to answer them as politely as he could.

"Why are you dating him?" Seemed to be the most popular question that was asked, and whenever people asked that question he just laughed awkwardly. I mean, what are you supposed to say when people ask why are you dating your boyfriend?

The two did eventually break up, though, and let's just say the Lithuanian was much happier about that fact. He still retained friendship with some of the friends he made through Ivan, but he tried to avoid Ivan as much as possible. Even if it meant taking a longer route to one of his classes, he would in a heartbeat if it meant avoiding contract with his ex.

And this year, it was junior year. To Toris, this year was important, where there was going to be some serious changes. He didn't want to be a 'bad bitch' per se, but he definitely wanted to be less of a pushover. He wanted to fade out in the crowd, just became another face again. Because honestly, he was popular for all the wrong reasons. However, even Toris knew that popularity could fade with time. He just had to lay low for awhile, and given his lack of causing drama, it shouldn't be hard. He'd rather have polite conversation with the few friends he'd have, and spend time with his younger brothers, Eduard and Raivis at home. He didn't necessarily require close friendships, he was a rather introverted kid. Toris would find comfort in writing poetry, or going on walks. He was like a dog who knew how to write, if that makes any sense.

Ah, yes. This year was going to be different.

Now if only Toris was prepared for just how different it would be.

Feliks Lukasiewicz loved to talk, and in fact, he loved people. Okay, maybe he didn't like a LOT of people, he was very selective about who he hung out with, because to be quite honest, everyone at his school were complete losers.

But if Feliks were to be really, REALLY honest...

In truth, he did talk a lot, and he could go on and on for hours if you let him, but he didn't do mix well with strangers. Honestly, Feliks's only friends were his friends Feliciano and Elizabeta, who he knew since grade school. Naturally, he also had 'side-friends' or rather, people he saw often because of the fact he associated with the two. It was with these people he'd often find himself making awkward conversation, and when Feliks was awkward whew was he awkward. He didn't mean to be, he just panicked sometimes and didn't what the fuck to say, and he'd end up saying something really stupid in the process.

His lack of social contact stemmed from fear, or rather, his social anxiety. He'd get upset about it sometimes, but all in all, he was mostly pissed off about it. He was a diva at heart, so why'd he have to cursed with such a thing!?

However, last year, Feliks made one of the best decisions of his life.

Joining theatre.

Okay, to be quite honest, it wasn't his decision, he just thought it would be funny if he didn't select any of his elective classes just to see what his counselor would put him in. He ended up with theatre, marching band, and art. As for marching band, he didn't really like it: too much drama, even for his taste. Not to mention Feliks couldn't play the tuba to save his life. Art he was actually pretty decent in, but his teacher was kinda restrictive and Poland wanted more artist freedom, so he ended up dropping the class for culinary class.

Theatre in no way cured his social anxiety, but it definitely boosted his confidence, especially when it came to dealing with strangers. Because for the record, he didn't know most of the kids in his class (well, their names at least. He recognized a few faces) except for Elisabeta, and her boyfriend, who's name honestly escaped his mind. Theatre got him out of his shell, and he became more of his outgoing self, at least in that class.

Unfortunately, strangers still did freak him out sometimes, but at least he could act like they didn't.

And after Theatre, he finally had a close friend: Elisabeta. He found her crying in the wings one day, where she thought nobody would find her, but Feliks had. She had just broken up with her boyfriend, Roderich that day, Feliks had no idea what to say — he had never been in a relationship, let alone for as long as Elisabeta had. He figured he should probably something rather comforting, and be careful with what he might say, just in case he said the wrong thing.

"That's okay, he was a little bitch anyways."

Okay, that probably wasn't the most comforting thing Feliks could have said. Still, it got Elisabeta could crack a smile, and let out a small laugh, before replying, "yeah." Then she talked about how he would iron his underwear. Talk about a weird-o! Since then, Feliks has considered her his best friend. The two had sleepovers, painted each others' nails, and watched horribly, cheesy movies. Sometimes, Elisabeta would have them watch horror movies, much to Felik's distate, but he agreed, only if they could watch a trashy high school after.

Now that it was his junior year, things were going to be very different for Feliks. Of course it was, because he decided it would. Whenever Feliks decided to do something he stuck with it — this year he was going to be a bad bitch. He would take no shit, and care less about what others thought of him. But most importantly, it was 2019. As the clock struck midnight on the new year, Feliks made himself a promise for the year.

This was the year Feliks Lukasiewicz would become popular.

He didn't necessarily know or care for any of the popular kids, except maybe Elisabeta, but she got popular for the same reasons celebrities like Amber Rose and Black Chyna got popular — for dating a celebrity, duh. Not to mention that her boyfriend wasn't even THAT popular; He was a B-List student at best. He was only popular because he was the half-brother of Ludwig and Gilbert Beilschmidt.

Maybe Feliks didn't really desire popularity, or maybe he just wanted to be well-known or well-liked. He didn't honestly know too much (or care) for a lot of the kids he knew at school, as he barely them enough to care. But he was going to find out if it's what he wanted, this year anyway.

And for the first week, he had made progress. Because he had English with Arthur Kirkland and Alfred F. Jones. If you don't know who those two are (and if you don't shame on you) they were two of the most popular guys at school, both being an A-list student. Not only was he in the class, but Feliks sat next to him, and after having several conversations with the kid, Feliks realized some very interesting things.

1. ARTHUR KIRKLAND WAS STUCK UP. Feliks didn't really like him at all, he was so annoying!

2. The 'popular kids' were kinda annoying.

3. Or maybe, Arthur Kirkland was just annoying. Despite them being in an American high school, he insisted on used British English instead, and got in several arguments with the teacher on him.

4. America was a bit of an asshole, and kind of an idiot. Feliks was just glad he didn't vote for him to be class president, which he was so close to having won just because of all the clout he had.

5. Being popular was stupid.

So Feliks had abolished his plans to be popular. Instead, he decided this year, he was just going to do whatever he wanted to. No set agenda, no hopes in mind, this was the year Feliks was going to get through. And that would be enough.

Unfortunately, life didn't think that would be enough for Feliks Lukasiewicz.

Please tell me what you think, I haven't written since last year (ba dun tsk! It's a new years joke. Also, I have written, but never finished anything this year. Oh my god I talk too much, I'll shut up now)

Thanks for even touching this fic, even if you so much as scrolled down to the bottom just to see what happens at the end (you do you). It means a lot. Helps a girl out. I'll shut up now. Also I was just joking, I do have a semi-plan for this story, I swear!

Also constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated, but please don't be mean ;(