"Sorry I'm late, Professor! Red-haired and red-faced, Lily Evans rushed in to the Charms classroom.
"Miss Evans. Five points from Gryffindor for your tardiness. On the first day of classes, too! Please try to talk less to Mr. Potter, and try harder instead to be on time."
"Sorry Professor. I would if only he'd let me." Snickers greeted her remark – it was widely known amongst the Fifth Years that Lily could not stand the attentions of James Potter.
"Noted, Miss Evans. Please see me after class."
"Yes, Professor Flitwick." With a scowl, Lily walked to the last empty seat in the classroom. The girl next to her didn't so much as look up as Lily sat down and quickly organised her textbooks on the desk.
Narcissa Black, of all people. Ugh. I know Sev says she's sweet compared to Bellatrix, but can anything good come from the 'Most Ancient and Noble House of Black?' Hopefully she's less of a pain in the arse than her cousin.
Mumbling threats against 'that Potter boy' under her breath, Lily was irritated to realise she'd left her quills in the Common Room in her haste to escape yet another bad pick-up line. She grabbed her wand, intending to transform one of the sickles in her pocket in to something serviceable, when a pale hand slid a quill across the desk. Surprised, Lily glanced over at Miss Black, who for all intents and purposes appeared to be following the Professor intently.
With a bemused shake of her head, Lily picked up the offered quill and quickly started trying to catch up on the instructions Professor Flitwick was giving on various summoning and banishing spells. Certainly more complex than 'wingardium leviosa!' she thought.
Finally the bell rang to signal the end of class. Lily glanced from her quill to Narcissa, slightly envious of the quality and beauty of the eagle feather she'd borrowed.
"Don't forget your quill." She said quietly, laying it gently on the other girl's textbook. "Thank you, I appreciated it." Lily caught a flash of blue eyes and what she thought might have been a smile, before Narcissa swept out of the room with her things, leaving the eagle feather lying on the desk.
Baffled, Lily picked up the quill, stowing it carefully in her bag. Something so beautiful shouldn't be crushed.
"Ahem." Lily startled, realising the Professor Flitwick was standing beside her and staring at the goofy smile on her face.
"Sorry, Professor. You wanted to speak to me? I really am sorry for being late!"
"I know, Miss Evans. Is Mr. Potter hassling you again?"
"No more than usual, Professor. I can deal with him."
"If he's bothering you enough to make you late to class, I can have a word with Professor Dumbledore." Flitwick's concerned gaze was obvious. "Although I believe Professor Dumbledore has already had words with the young man on the same subject, and with his friends."
"It's fine, Professor, really." Lily could feel a blush heating her cheeks. "Thank you for your concern, I shall keep it in mind."
"Okay. On another note, Miss Evans, the actual reason I wanted to see you was to ask if you would be interested in tutoring another 5th year in Charms. You certainly don't need to make up any work – based on your results last year I would expect you to receive an Outstanding in Charms. However both myself, Professor Dumbledore, and Professor Slughorn would greatly appreciate your assistance. The girl is having … shall we say, troubles at home … and we think that she would appreciate the help of another female student more than she would extra classes with one of us."
"It's a Slytherin, Professor, that I would be tutoring? I have no problem with that, but they quite likely will." Lily's smile dimmed. "I am happy to tutor her, however."
"Thank you, Miss Evans. I think you'll find Miss Black – Narcissa Black, as she is the only one left at Howarts now that her sisters have graduated – to be quite a brilliant young witch, much like yourself."
"That is very kind, Professor Flitwick. Thank you."
Narcissa Black? This is turning in to a very strange day. Bidding Professor Flitwick a good evening, she walked to the Great Hall in a daze. Troubles at home? I wonder what that could be. Sirius would probably know. Lily groaned, startling the group of first years passing her in the corridor. The real question is, what will I have to do for him to find out?
"James. Hogsmeade. A date." Sirius's face was carefully blank, but Lily noted the mischievous glint in his eyes.
"Sirius, honestly." Remus rolled his eyes and threw a cushion at the other boy. "You'll never get anything that way." Lily chuckled: of all the self-proclaimed Marauders, Remus was the only one Lily could ever manage to talk sensibly with.
"Fiiiiine," Sirius drawled in exasperation. "You do my Charms homework – well enough I get good marks, not so well that Flitwick knows it's you – for a week, and I tell you about precious little 'Cissa." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Why you would want to know anything about anyone in my family other than me, only Merlin knows." He narrowed his eyes. "Why do you want to know?"
"We've been assigned a paired assignment in Charms," Lily lied smoothly, "and Professor Flitwick warned me she was having some troubles at home, and hoped she might open up to me."
"That's not too far off the mark." Remus chimed in thoughtfully. "Now that I think about it, since Andromeda graduated in our Fourth Year, I've never noticed anyone other than Lucius and Bellatrix with your cousin. They graduated last year, remember? Merlin knows those two are scary enough to have stopped even other Slytherins looking twice at Narcissa."
"Looking once you mean. Dear cousin Bellatrix would hex any girl who wasn't good enough to befriend her little sister – and that means everyone! The Malfoys and my uncle have arranged a marriage between Narcissa and Lucius – dark bastard – since they were children." Remus flinched.
"Poor girl. But that's old news, Sirius. Stop keeping Lily waiting, I'm sure she's got plenty of Charms homework to do." He winked at her.
"Sirius, tell me what's been happening lately, and I'll do you Charms homework all of next week."
"Deal!" Sirius punched the air in success. "Okay. Honestly, Remus, I'm surprised you haven't heard. Andromeda ran off with what my charming family would politely call a 'mud-blood.' You remember Ted Tonks?" They both nodded. "They eloped. Narcissa has always been closer to Andromeda than Bellatrix. Cousin Romi got herself blasted off the family tree." Sirius's voice turned bitter. "Bets are on that I'll be next. Romi was the only sane one out of the whole damn lot." Remus and Lily both looked politely puzzled, waiting for Sirius to continue. He sighed. "I shouldn't have to explain this to you. Once you're off the family tree, as far as the House of Black is concerned, you no longer exist. My aunt and uncle would both walk right past their daughter in the street and not even glance her way. Forget about letters, they'll burn on the borders of the property." His expression was scornful. "It's a fair bet little Narcissa will never see or hear from her sister again. Hopefully once I've left Hogwarts I can track her down. Narcissa is betrothed to Lucius Malfoy – she wouldn't dare oppose both the Malfoys and the Blacks. She doesn't have the spine."
"You don't know that, Sirius." Remus' voice was soft but reproachful. "You can push your family so far and get away with it. You can leave and get away with it. You know perfectly well Narcissa is too valuable to your family given her link to the Malfoys."
"That's true." The scornful tone was replaced by a bleak, grim bark Lily had never heard Sirius use. "They'll never let her go. I've heard how her parents speak about her. As far as they're concerned, she's as good as sold to Lucius Malfoy."
As good as sold to Lucius Malfoy.
Lily scowled at her textbooks in frustration. Despite sitting next to Narcissa in all of their shared classes – Charms, Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, and Defence Against the Dark Arts – she still hadn't managed to have a conversation with the mysterious Miss Black. She'd even gone to the trouble of deliberately running late to class, knowing that there was always an empty seat beside Narcissa. Lily's closest friend, a Ravenclaw named Vanessa, didn't share many of her classes this year, which was a blessing in disguise. Today, Lily had given up pretending to run late, and simply made sure she arrived after Narcissa (who was always early), and claimed the seat beside her, despite the rows of unoccupied desks around the room.
"Narcissa, right? I'm Lily." Smiling with a confidence she didn't feel, she held her hand out to the blonde girl. For the first time Narcissa met her gaze, eyes wide and a clear, pale blue. Her handshake was gentle without being limp, and Lily could feel colour unexpectedly rising in her cheeks.
"Yes. I know." The blue eyes dropped behind dark eyelashes.
"Thank you for the quill, it's quite lovely." Lily was beginning to feel quite awkward around this quiet, unexpectedly shy young woman.
"I'm glad you like it." Narcissa's voice was soft, and Lily leant closer to hear her.
"I do. I'm not sure if Professor Flitwick has mentioned anything, but he asked me to help you with your Charms?" Another flash of blue eyes and a downturned mouth before Narcissa looked away again.
"He mentioned it."
"If you don't want my help, that's okay too." Lily's face was scorching now, not knowing what to say. She's nothing like what I expected Bellatrix's sister to be.
"It would be kind of you. Shall I meet you at the library, say tomorrow afternoon after class?"
"That's fine." A loud group of Slytherins walked in to the room, and Lily realised with a start that she was still holding Narcissa's hand. She dropped it quickly, and noted an odd expression flit across the other girl's face. Probably doesn't want to be seen talking to a Gryffindor.
Lily arrived at the Library to find Narcissa curled up in a window-seat, staring out over the grounds. A book lay open in her lap. She took note of the other girl's sad posture, arms wrapped around herself, and the curve to her mouth that wasn't quite happy. Bittersweet. I wonder what she's thinking? Why am I wondering that? Well, Professor Flitwick did tell me to look out for her, and I can see why. She looks sad. I don't know how I'm supposed to tutor someone who can barely look in my general direction, though.
"You look comfortable." The words blurted out before Lily registered the thought. "In the window-seat, I mean. Actually you look sad." Lily, you fool. Shut up. She can barely talk to you as it is!
"Lily!" The warmth in the soft voice took her by surprise. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you walk over." Pink tinged the pale girl's high cheekbones. I think that's the longest sentence she's ever said to me.
"No worries. Mind if I join you?"
"Yes! I mean, no. Not at all. I mean, I don't mind. You may sit, that is, if you want to." The Slytherin was clearly aware she was babbling. Lily sat on the other side of the window seat, small enough that her bent legs were beside Narcissa's.
"Quite cosy." She smiled, and Narcissa returned it before looking away shyly. I must remember to ask Sirius or Sev whether Narcissa has always been this quite, or if she lost her confidence when she lost her sister. "So… Professor Flitwick told me you're struggling in Charms? Well, not that you're struggling, just that you could use some extra help." She mentally cursed her poor choice of words.
"Oh. Yes. I suppose that's true." Her blue eyes narrowed, focusing on Lily for the first time. "My sister left, you know. Andromeda. She left me. And I can't seem – seem to – seem to charm anything!" Her voice wobbled alarmingly. "Romi always tutored me over the hols, or after class."
Taken aback at this abrupt and intimate announcement, Lily wondered how to respond. She saw Narcissa's arms tighten around herself and the sparkle of unshed tears in her eyes. What did I get myself in to?
"I know we've never really spoken, Narcissa, but if you need a friend, someone to talk with-" while speaking, she hesitantly reached over and put a hand on the other girl's shoulder. To her utter astonishment, Narcissa was suddenly in her arms and sobbing uncontrollably.
What do I do? How am I supposed to respond? What is this!?
Kindness taking over, Lily held the other girl tightly until her sobs receded in to hiccups and deep breaths.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean – I'm sorry. This is so embarrassing!" Pique coloured Narcissa's voice. She shifted her weight until she was leaning inside the curve of Lily's arms, now sitting on the same side of the window-seat. Lily could still feel Narcissa trembling.
"It's okay." She winced. "Well, you're obviously not okay. But I understand." She opened her mouth but no words came out, struggling to figure out what was appropriate to say. "As I said," she fumbled "if you want a friend, well, you could always… talk to me? If you'd like that." She was rewarded with Narcissa's face lighting up, and a dazzling smile.
"This – that would be nice." This is nice. Wait – what? Abruptly, Lily became aware of Narcissa's warm back pressed against her chest, and that she was sitting in a window seat with her arms wrapped tightly around another girl.
"First, though, I think we should work on your Charms. Why don't we head over to the classroom?" She matched her movements to her brisk tone, sliding off the window-seat and pulling Narcissa to her feet as well. She pretended not to notice the strange expression flickering on the blonde girl's face again, the same one from Charms that Lily just couldn't pin down.
Lily stared at the crimson curtains around her four poster bed. Feigning a headache, she avoided her friend Vanessa and had gone to bed early. Three hours later, she was still wide awake.
I don't understand. Every time I close my eyes, it's like I can feel Narcissa back in my arms. See her bright smile, those clear blue eyes, and sun highlighting her hair… why am I thinking this? Where are these thoughts coming from? I can feel heat flushing my face from the memory. She looked so lost and alone. I think she trusts me, even though there's no reason for her to trust me. Why do I want her to trust me?