It wasn't that bad, and it seemed to get better. Slowly - she had to admit, but the fates seemed to finally humor her. Sitting at the Ships Com Stations, she allowed herself to savior the quiet moment, when the Tomcats had just come in from the Sudanese coast, all back safely and towed to the deck. She smiled as her eyes fell on the shiny, new ensigns that marked her as a Lieutenant, bringing the recent promotion back to her mind. It felt good, it felt like she had finally found a place she could put her abilities to a good use and got acceptance and trust in return.
It had been some tough years, the starting conditions had not been ideal - coming out of an orphanage, the army had been the best option for a youngster with a clever mind and high hopes, willing to prove herself. Great Lakes had been hell, but commander Stiples, her RDC, somehow grew fond of the tough little stray and recommended her to her former CT unit, a chance she willingly took. And so she became a "Spook", working with classified information at the ships communications and getting more and more inseparable from the station.
She then finally had the opportunity to graduate, again by encouragement - this time it was captain Rogers, who even enabled her to touch a full stipend, allowing her to thread on a path she would never have thought possible before. Only ten days ago had she thrown midshipman cover in the air and changed them for the two golden stripes she now proudly wore. However, she was well aware of the fact that she had been lucky to have made it that far, as she had never been the role model of a "good soldier". Far too independent-minded, always tempted to rely more on her personal judgment than on orders given for the sake of being orders. She knew that her future would not be with the military, there had been incidents enough to clearly show this, and it was only due to Stiples and Rogers promotion that she made it to this rank, allowing her to leave the ship for a safe future outside the army. It evoked a strange mixture of feelings – she was damn glad to get out of the treadmill those ships were – had to be, but she was also scared to lose the only life she knew.
The young officer admitted vaguely to herself that coming back to USS Abraham Lincoln to train her successor at the ships com station instead of taking holidays had been a decision borne from the scary feeling of having free time and nobody to spend it with. She had feared that with her surroundings this – especially for her - rather unusual behavior and her not strictly necessary presence onboard would raise awkward questions, but after she had declared it to some comrades as her way of saying thank you to Cpt. Rogers it had been accepted surprisingly easily; she had no family to return home to, and despite that fact that she accepted this most of the time, it felt sad not to be able to share this joy with her relatives. Rogers knew this, he accepted that the crew of this ship was more of a family to her than anything, and he had welcome her back happily for the short time, before she had to leave the carrier heading back to Great lakes, taking her next career steps.
"Hey 'Thash, when are you finished tonight?" came the voice of Carl over her earpiece. Petty Officer Carl, with which she had started aboard this ship, who had grown very fond of her over the course of the years; she had noticed this, though never openly admitted it. In the weeks before she left for West point there had always been a slight tension in their relationship that had even increased after she came back, only to leave again so soon. "Rogers wanted to see me in his office," she quipped back with a friendly grin that could be heard in her voice. "But I guess it won't be long. See you later?" "Mmh," came the prompt reply "let's stop by at the beach club tonight. Supposed to be a good party down there." Her smile turned to a toothy grin, as she remembered the beach club, the favored meeting place for the ships crews when stationed in this harbor; it brought back memories of wild parties, bad hangovers, and glorious triumphs at some drinking contests. Being able to step up to the guys (at least to some of them) had earned her respect pretty quickly and made her life in an organisation that was ruled mainly by respect and rank a lot easier. So she really looked forward to the evening despite the fact that Carls voice had had a slight edge on it that brought a sense of foreboding to the back of her mind, maybe fuelled by Carl's behavior over the last days. He had been trying to force some kind of decision, or breakthrough in this relationship that never had been one and – if she had anything to say in it – would never go beyond the "friends with benefits" status. But at least she was willing to step that far, even though a nasty feeling rose in her stomach at the thought that told her that her agreement was based on a rather strange mix of thankfulness for him being a true friend and pity to watch his attempts at getting a more affectionate relationship with her. "O.k., see you there, I'll come down to the club when I'm done here." She told Carl and took out the earpiece.
So, first things first; and next on her list was Rogers, whom she expected to say some motivating phrases that would get the patriotic tone just right: giving inspiration for one of his charges bound to fly out from the nest and prove herself to the world. She had heard these kinds of speeches so often on different occasions that she lost her faith in them, having remarked a while ago that they were giving a warm and cozy feeling mostly to the officer who held them. But as often with this man, she found that here expectations were not met – at all.
"So, Lieutenant" Rogers stopped and smiled, shaking his head slightly "never thought I would be able to address you like this, of all people."
The woman opposite of him grinned and shook her head "Oh yeah off little faith, my Captain. You thought I would not be able to behave during my time at Westpoint?"
"I know exactly, Lt. Fisher, that your sense of obedience is not developed in a way that would enable you to stay in the good books of an US Navy instructor." He sighed "I always considered myself lucky that your clever little mind allowed you not to overstep the fine line between subtle disrespect and open insubordination, at least on board of this ship. So, I guess the more civilian life of being a technical instructor will do you and the US Navy good."
Natasha was now smiling openly, her whole face showing the adoration she felt for this man and her trust in his judgment. He had been the real reason she put up with the army for such a long time, being one of the men she could really look up to. "Yeah, I hope it's going to work out well, guess it depends of their tolerance level for independent minds. But I'll miss this ship, if I may add, Sir."
"And we're going to miss you, Lieutenant. Don't let them change you, wherever you might end up." He answered her smile with his own, standing up and extending his hand. She took it, shook it briefly, and turned to leave when he stopped her with another question, his tone serious and a little subdued.
"Natasha, has your search for your family brought up any results so far?" Her breath hitched at the question as she turned around after a second, but her eyes stayed on the floor and her face was a carefully engineered blank mask. She felt desperation and anger overwhelm her, wanted to open her mouth, to yell at him that this was none of his business! Wanted to cry at the same time, hated that he reminded her of this. But she couldn't; so after a long moment of awkward silence she looked him dead in the eyes and just shook her head a tiny little bit. He looked back at her with a doleful expression in his eyes "I'm sorry to hear that, but I fear that after such a long time you will have to face the truth that there is not enough information for a successful search."
The girls gaze had returned to the floor, her eyes shimmering wet with unshed tears. "You're right" she all but whispered, clutching the pendant, the only reminder of her heritage that she wore at all times around her neck firmly "there's nothing to find, I guess".
While she stood rooted to the spot unsure how to deal with the situation, he crossed the office in two big strides and embraced her in a fatherly hug. "I know you'll soon find a good man to build your own family, my little girl. And until then, I'd be happy to get a postcard or two whenever you feel like it. And maybe," he smiled "just maybe, when your schedule allows this I'd be happy to welcome you here again for some days."
A warm and grateful feeling welled up inside Natasha at these words and after slowly nodding, promising to write often, and spending some holidays aboard the Abraham Lincoln she left the Capitan's office with a smile on her lips, ready to move on. Having no family still hurt, but she was ready to build up a future and see what life had in stock for her.
The immediate thing life had in stock for her was a fun as expected – the party at the beach, with lots of drinking, dancing and music. She had entered the club and soon detected Carl at their usual spot at the bar, surrounded by his friends. He had apparently been looking for her and seen her entering, as the barkeeper already placed a beer in front of her when she reached the group. The guys were cheering joyfully, as it was Karaoke-night, the most welcome time to watch hilarious performances of comrades making fools of themselves. She had always gotten around those Karaoke nights by just avoiding being there, as she had never been one for public humiliation; she could sing alright, the orphanage had had a choir and through her whole school life she had been forced to attend it, even been one of the solo performers. But she knew that this was not what was expected here, it would just let her stick out more from the group, this is why she had avoided it all the time. And this was exactly why she knew what would be the marching order of the evening:
a) get a lot of alcohol in Natasha (she was curious how they were going to achieve this, seeing her extremely high tolerance to the stuff especially as she was no regular drinker)
b) get Natasha to humiliate herself by singing Karaoke of an impossibly ridiculous song (oh, she had some ideas about that)
c) (and this was probably Carls part) get Natasha to a secluded place and see what a lovesick Petty Officer could gain from a drunken girl.
She was all right with this plan, knowing that she would be leaving some days after this, not having to face the music for long that was bound to be playing after this night. So she smiled, grabbed her beer and clinked the bottle while the barkeeper placed shots in front of the group.
She had to admit, the boys had really devised a plan for tonight, subtly taking turns, making sure that she drank every time while they went at it a bit slower. But paying attention to their behavior also allowed her to devise counter measures, which consisted in playing drunk more than she actually was. It proved successful, as she was only a bit tipsy (okay, it had been two beers and 8 shots, but that was ok for her), when Carl approached her, grinning broadly: "you know what I have missed for the whole time you were aboard this ship?" She only arched one eyebrow, feigning surprise, although she hardly doubted the rest of the phrase would come as a surprise to her. "You singing a sweet, romantic song at Karaoke night" He giggled drunkenly and ducked away, while the others started a roaring laughter around her. Knowing better than to scream bloody murder or trying to escape her fate, she let them hear a loud "fuck you", that raised even more laughter, while she was led to the Microphone when the first tunes of music started to play. She recognized it immediately as the worst possible option – who in their right mind would allow a Frank Sinatra song be played at all? And this one, for gods' sake? Darkly chuckling to herself, she braced herself to give the boys a surprise as the intro to "Something Stupid" went on, knowing the text so well from countless weddings she had performed it on that she didn't even bother to look at the screen for the lyrics.
Yeah, she hit the tone allright, and never being one to spoil the mood she took her sweet little revenge on Carl: him being the one who initiated all this, and knowing full well about his crush on her, she started to sing this song TO him. She made sure to get all the tremolos right, the sighing voice and the dramatic little pauses the song offered to create the desired effect. And the effect she got: they boys were cheering loudly at both of them, while Carl stood dumbstruck, his mouth literally gaping open, his eyes fixed on her face.
She had to keep the satisfied smirk from her face when Carl dragged her outside with almost light-speed immediately after the song ended, an unreadable expression on his face.
They went on the beach and walked along the sea, Carl not letting go of her hand for a second, thought he did not look at her once. The expression on his face she got to see upon her sideways glances was nervous, as trying to make sense of what had just happened and at the same time trying to regain composure. He walked very fast in the beginning, almost dragging her along, but after a while he started to slow down into a stroll, while his face relaxed. They were now far away from the beach club and had left the shoreline some time ago to walk through the dunes, all white sand gleaming in the moonlight, interspersed with marsh. It was a beautiful romantic setting on a warm summer night, the sea breeze whispering gently, the starry sky above them a sight to behold.
The officer finally stopped and dragged her down to sit by his side in the Sand, his eyes searching hers: "Nat, I'm…" he trailed of, obviously not daring to voice his train of thoughts out loud. Finally, he looked back up with a sheepish grin on his face: "guess the time's right, isn't it?"
The addressed looked at him with a warm expression in her eyes "Some clever lines coming my way?"
Carl's smile broadened "Pray tell, which exactly would those be? I've been searching them for years now"
Natasha threw her head back laughing, while he sat there watching her intensively. He had fallen for the looks first: her full lips, her light brown hair that curled up when it got wet, her eyes that were between green and brown and showed so much of her emotions, always alert and often smiling. Yes, he admitted to himself she was cute and although she was nowhere near the ethereal beauty of a fotomodel, she outshone them all with this unidentifiable "something" that made her just perfect. He had seen many guys falling for that "something", but they had all been turned down quickly, and so he had not dared to express his feelings openly for the fear of losing her. Because he couldn't bear losing her, he had been sure of this for a while, once he had gotten to know the mind behind the beautiful eyes: everyone knew the clever, independent mind and her quick wit, always cracking a joke. But he knew a girl that cared deeply for her counterpart, listened and understood and strived hard to make people around her happy in her own, unobtrusive way. It did not show in public and few people were aware of this side of "little miss perfect" as she had once been dubbed; some people even claimed her as arrogant, but he knew…
He had gotten lost in his thoughts; when his mind came back to the beach, he noticed that Natasha was sitting next to him, her knees under her chin, arms wrapped around them. She was looking at the glittering water in the distance, which the waves brought to the shore in a never-ending cycle of back and forth.
"Tash," he turned to face her searching her eyes. When she heard her name she put her cheek on the knees, turning to face him and their eyes locked into one another's. "Do you think there are any clever lines?" she mused. She was silent for a minute, and the man facing her was at a loss for words, so he stayed quiet and waited for her to continue.
"Carl, you will not need any clever words to tell me how you feel. And" she sighed "that is probably the reason why… we are what we are: "you and me" and not "us". But" she hesitated, her skin shining almost white in the pale moonlight "maybe we could try... the "us"?" While saying these words, she brought her knees down to her side and turned her chest so that she was fully facing him. Carl gave in to the pull he felt almost bodily and moved forward, bringing his lips close so close to hers that they were breathing the same air. "I would love to", he murmured before slowly pressing his lips on to hers for an almost chaste kiss. It was reciprocated almost the same way, and they stayed like this, savoring the wonderful moment full of promises of a night to come. When he kissed her again, she started to open her lips, allowing his tongue access to her mouth which was eagerly claimed, and they lost themselves in a kiss full of lust that spoke of their long held desires for each other. Carl brought his hands to her neck and pulled her tenderly towards him, when his girl moaned while returning the kiss eagerly, moving closer.
Both of them did not notice the blue light that was accompanied by a low buzzing sound that suddenly lit up only several yards away. They were kissing tenderly, blissfully unaware of the fact that three heavily armed humanoids were approaching them quickly, until suddenly Natasha was grabbed by her shoulders and yanked back by the first inruder that had reached them. He hauled her to her feet and dragged her back with him, while she started shouting and tried in vain to kick at her assailant as she didn't achieve anything. Carl had been momentarily stunned, but after a second he jumped to his feet and went after his comrade and her captor. The second figure had reached the scene by know and stepped in front of the soldier, quickly drawing a dagger from its sheet and stabbing it into the man in the chest. Natasha's eyes widened in shock as she started screaming and trashing in earnest. But to no avail, as the man held her in a vice-like grip and draw her back with him to where they had appeared from.
Carl distantly felt the pain in his chest while he was slowly falling face down in the sand, his head already dizzy from blood loss. His heartbeat stopped shortly afterwards, the last thing he heard was Natasha screaming his name.