Well, this one is my very first finished story (just didn't post it as first release) – it's my "baby" – please be nice ;-)

I hope the alerts are still working – I've been waiting with this, I didn't want it to get lost…

Characters' thoughts and song lyrics are in Italics – the song is "Tonight" from Reamonn. Highly recommended! It's a beautiful ballad which supports the atmosphere of the story perfectly. And the lyrics are just great – especially at the end of this chapter. Couldn't have said it better.

Disclaimer: All the original characters belong to their owners - except for Mac. Mac belongs to Stella.

Please read and review – thanks!

Chapter 1

The noise of a slammed door in the locker room caught Mac's attention while he was on the way to his office. He turned around. Before he even reached the door, he knew who he was going to find inside.

"What did that poor locker door do to you?" he asked, leaning against the door frame, ready to hide behind it in case of flying objects coming in his direction.

"It was available," Stella replied short-spoken.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked carefully, aware of the imminent danger. She didn't say anything. Good or bad sign? He wasn't sure yet.

"Do you believe I didn't notice you tried to avoid me recently?" she suddenly burst out, trying to keep her emotions from showing in her voice.

Mac's eyes widened in surprise. What?!? THIS was not what he expected. While he feverishly tried to figure out how to react. Stella scowled at him, waiting for a reaction. After a few seconds, she lost her non-existent patience.

"Look, Mac. I'm sorry to bother you with this, but some people actually do have human feelings and sometimes these feelings are for their fellow men. I know YOU are perfect in controlling or even avoiding such feelings, but let me tell you, others might not be as perfect as you. Unfortunately it's a common human weakness not to be able to control feelings for others. You can do it? Fine. But don't expect that from others. That's not fair. You think it's easy for me to be around you all day? Day by day for years, providing support and backup whenever you needed it, always careful not to get too close in order to respect your ... feelings," sarcasm evident in her voice when she spoke out the last word. "This wasn't easy for me, but I realized a long time ago that this was the only possible way to handle the situation. I didn't want this to happen, but some things you can't plan. I know you don't feel the same. That's fine with me, I can handle that. It never did have an effect on my work and it never will. It's my problem, just don't care about it."

With this, she slammed the locker door once more after throwing her bag into it and thrust past him through the locker room door, leaving him dumbfounded, still leaning against the doorframe.

Mac couldn't believe what he just heard. No one he'd ever met could mess with his head like Stella. She'd been doing it since the day they met even though she never did it on purpose. She just had something that always made him … what? Nervous?

And did she just tell him she had feelings for him? They had always been close, just like she said she had always been there for him when he needed her. He never seriously thought about it as anything else but friendship. Closer than colleagues certainly, but...

She never took the train alone
She hated being on her own

She always took me by the hands
And said she needs me

He sighed deeply while rolling his eyes. Not a chance to resist her... This woman would definitely be his end. But didn't someone once say that every end is a new beginning? His mind started wandering. He never thought about this option, but coming up with it now he had to admit that it wasn't the worst thought he ever had.

I gotta go find her! We need to talk. Or better I need to talk, she already did... he said to himself and turned around to go after her.

On the way to her office, he reflected hundreds of ways to start this conversation that he never thought would ever happen. When he finally reached her door and spotted her behind her desk, everything was lost. He slowly entered the room, closing the door behind him.

"We have to talk. And this time...," he looked into her eyes, trying to read them, "let ME talk, please."

Stella briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The short way from the locker room to her office had been enough to let her realize what she had just said to him and now she was trapped in a mixture of embarrassment about her outburst and fear for his reaction on her words.

"Mac..." she started, ignoring his request, "I never intended to get personally involved with someone at work. Anyone. I always followed this motto, all my life. No relationship with anyone in high school or college, not at work, nothing. It always worked. Just maybe there was never a challenge to it..."

"And now there is?" he softly asked.

Stella slightly shrugged and inhaled another shaking breath, her lips pressed together. She blinked. She swore to herself that she wouldn't start crying over this. Not in front of him, not here. "I don't know...," she whispered barely hearable. She didn't plan it this way, everything went wrong here. At the moment, she was just afraid to push him into something that he couldn't deal with. That he would feel obliged to do something without having the time to think about it, just to make her feel better.

She was sure about her own feelings, she was for years now. But she didn't want to let him know, she was torn between rejecting her own feelings to let him back out and on the other hand trying to convince him to have confidence in life again.

And there was something else that was gnawing on her, something she knew would be a heavy burden on anything.

She never wanted love to fail
She always hoped that it was real

She'd look me in the eyes and said 'believe me'

Mac walked around the desk and kneeled down at her left side. He slowly took her left hand into his and looked up at her.

"There is no security on this earth, only opportunity - Douglas MacArthur," he quietly said.

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark - professionals built the Titanic – Stella Bonasera," she returned immediately, surprised by his behavior which suddenly gave her back some of the desire to make him happy again.

She had been working 16-hour-days the whole week, hardly any sleep, not to talk about regular meals. All this had made her extremely sensitive to anything, up to the point where she had the feeling Mac would deliberately try to avoid her which she realized now was most likely an unfounded overreaction from her side.

Mac chuckled. She was truly amazing and unpredictable. She always found the right thing to say to make him feel good without even thinking about it, despite her own emotional state.

"Just follow your heart, Mac. Some things just happen the way they're supposed to. And sometimes there's just nothing you can – or should – do about it."

Stella couldn't think straight anymore. She was tired and exhausted, all doubts and logical thinking got more and more blurry. There were still these doubts, but something deep inside wanted to move on with this, trying out his reactions. And it felt good to have him so close to her, holding her left hand in his while softly stroking it the whole time.

A rapping interrupted them. They looked up as Danny poked his head through the open door.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys," Danny apologized, wondering briefly what Mac was doing on the floor next to Stella's chair, "we got results from DNA, you said you wanted to know a.s.a.p." He closed the door again without waiting for a reaction, not wanting to interrupt whatever was going on in there any longer.

Mac got up and glanced at Stella with a questioning look.

"Right behind you!" she cleared her throat and tried to sort her thoughts while she followed Mac to the lab room.

XXXXX

Stella turned her computer off with a sigh. What a day... She took her purse and left her office.

"Going home?" Mac asked from his door. She looked over, noticing that he was also wearing his coat.

"Yeah, it's been quite a day today..."

He nodded. "Pretty deserted here already, hum? I'm gonna walk you to your car, okay? I just need to do something first...," he said, suddenly having an idea.

"Okay, I'll get my stuff from the locker, meet you at the elevator…" Stella replied. She walked along the corridor to the locker room and took her cell phone from her belt to put it in her bag when a beep informed her about an incoming message. "Oh come on… Gimme a break!" she rolled her eyes with a desperate sigh and took the phone out again.

After a look at the display, she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

Text message received from Mac Taylor – wanna read it now?

A little hesitant, she hit the OK button.

Dinner :-?

Stella grinned. No need to make many words here, she figured. She leaned against her locker and quickly typed a reply.

:-)

Then she went back to the corridor. From her point, she could see Mac in front of his office, nervously handling his phone when the alert went off. He checked the display and hit a few keys. Stella smiled as she saw his face brightening up. Maybe this day could become a good one after all...

XXXXX

Mac woke up slowly. It took him only a second to remember where he was, a smile played across his lips as he turned around to his left.

"Good morning..."

She was sitting with her back leaning against the headboard and starred at the opposite wall with a distanced look. This was not what he had expected. He sat up nervously.

"What? What is it?"

"Mac..." she started in a tone that rapidly increased his concern. He quickly put a finger on her lips to stop her.

"Don't. Just...don't."

"I'm sorry," she said in a small voice.

He started feeling a lump growing in his throat. What was going on here?

And then the night becomes the day
And there's nothing left to say
If there's nothing left to say
Then something's wrong

TBC