Desperation
"L, this is beginning to get ridiculous." Light Yagami glared at the pale, emotionless detective, sitting in the chair next to him. "We've been handcuffed to each other for over a week. The killings have continued as well... Doesn't this prove my innocence?"
The detective swallowed his cake thoughtfully.
"Nope"
Light sighed ruefully and rested his head on the back of the chair, eyes closed.
"But... This is really tough! We have to watch the same TV show, share the same bed... We have to SHOWER together!!! Using the urinals side be side in a restaurant feels like we're comparing dick sizes. Hell! Even walking into a restaurant is impossible."
L tilted his head, giving an amused smile.
"And why is that?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're like a super computer... You never forget ANYTHING."
"That is true... But I think my memory needs to be refreshed..." He gave a mischievous smile, making Light roll his eyes.
"Every time we tried to walk in a restaurant we were KICKED OUT because the managers thought we were a gay couple playing some new BONDAGE game and it disturbed the other customers. We can't even go into a fast food joint!"
"Hm... That is true. But I would win."
"What?"
"The dick size comparison. I would win."
"For Christ's sake, you're such a child. I'm not arguing about this right now."
L smiled. "You forfeit, I win.." He muttered.
Light glared at him again.
"What I really mean to say is... It feels like FOREVER since I've been laid!!!"
"Well, Light... I've never tried it before but... If it means that much to you, then yes."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Hm?" He looked up from his cake. "I was talking about your indirect manner of asking to sleep with me."
"You're such an idiot. I meant GIRLS. And... There are things that Misa and I have been planning on doing..."
"Things?"
"It's none of your business."
"Well... Considering that we're chained together I suppose everything you do is my business."
"Well not this." Light looked away from him.
"You know Light, sulking isn't going to make this any better for you..."
"I'M NOT SULKING!"
"Fine, fine... But, honestly... It's okay with me if you and Misa screw around here. I could even join in if you want."
"Really? That's very kind of you, L." Light's voice dripped with sarcasm. "But I don't want you to join in. Now... or ever."
"Aww... So does that mean that you WILL be inviting Misa over?"
"Unfortunately, yes. Tonight... I can't stand to wait much longer." Light sighed and put his hand on his face. "I doubt if she'll even do it with me, knowing that you're watching."
"I'm pretty sure that she won't mind." L sounded like he knew something that Light didn't.
"Huh? Why do you say that?"
"I just sent her a text explaining everything and she said it was fine^^"
"You asshole!"
"What??? You should be thanking me...!"
*L's phone starts playing 'Barbie Girl'*
"Oh! That's Misa!" L opens his phone. "She says... To tell you that she'll be wearing something sexy. She'll be over in five minutes."
"I hate you."
"Thanks pal^^ I love you too."
*someone knocks on the door*
"Impressive, Light. Misa made it in 3.7 minutes. She must be really horny too!"
"Shut up!" Light and L get up to answer the door. Misa burst in and hugged Light, wearing a large brown overcoat.
"Well what's so sexy about that?!" L demanded, obviously disappointed.
Misa looked directly at Light while answering.
"A brown overcoat and nothing underneath..."
"Is that it? That would've looked sexier on Light!!! ...Wait... That came out wrong..."
Light gave him a look that said he was totally creeped out by that last statement.
"Don't worry, L... I think EVERYONE knew what you meant by that..."
Light led Misa into the bedroom that L and Light shared, the bed was moved next to the closet.
"Get in." Light shoved L inside.
"You know, that's very hurtful. You don't even trust me enough to let me wait outsi-"
"NO." Light slammed the door shut and pushed Misa onto the bed.
L looked through the secret peephole he had made years ago in the door and snickered.
"Take it off. Quick." Light fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.
Misa took off her jacket, and helped Light with his pants.
"Calm down, Light... There's plenty of time..." Light disregarded her comment and pulled down his pants, nothing underneath.
"Light... You're already so hard...!"
"Do you know what that means?"
"I'm guessing that you're skipping foreplay!" L shouted from the closet. Light ignored him.
"What?" Misa asked
"I missed you." Light kissed her and she looked at him.
"L's right, isn't he?"
"......................................Yeah."
Light guided his dick into her, rather forcefully.
"Ow! That hurt, Light!" He ignored her comment and started to move in and out.
"Gods, this sounds more like rape than sex... Here, maybe this will make it better... Oooooohhh, Light! Do it again!!!" L wailed in a high pitched voice.
Light grunted as he continued.
"Shut the hell up, L!"
"Ohhhh...!!! LIGHT! Do it harder! Hump me like a sack of meat! (Which is pretty much what you're doing to her anyway..)"
"OW! Light! I'm serious! Slow down..!" Misa complained. Light paused.
"Hey Misa, want to play one of those kinky bondage games?"
"Um... I guess so."
"Good." He put a gag into her mouth.
"Yeah Misa... It's called the 'Shut the hell up while I fuck you.' Game. Very popular among rapists." L snickered again.
"SHUT UP L! ...Oh.... Gods, Misa..." Light banged her harder, her head hitting the headboard."
"And this, kids, is called 'I don't give a fuck if you get a concussion!' Another popular sex game among rapists."
"God...This....Feels...So....Good....!" Light pounded in deeper and deeper.
"I bet you haven't gotten in that far since that one time she was sleeping, huh?" L shouted from the closet. Light's only response was grunting and small moans as he fucked Misa harder. She was making moans muffled by the gag, signifying that it didn't hurt anymore and that she was enjoying it.
"OHHH... LIIGGGHHHTTT~" L moaned from the closet again. He looked through the peephole again and saw that Light was panting hard, and trembling.
"Come on, Light! You can do it! Just a bit longer! Real men last longer than five minutes!!!"
"Ah... Ah..!" Light moaned again.
L's voice became serious.
"Drum roll please..."
"Oh Gods, Misa... I'm cumming!!!" Light cried out again before rolling over and lying beside her.
"Ohhh... And he just misses the Gold Medal by 3.4 seconds. What a shame folks.."
Light's voice was exhausted. "Shut...The...Hell.......Up....." Light passed out and shortly after that Misa left. L reached down and grabbed his laptop from the floor of the closet.
"Now..." He grinned "Just have to access the bedroom security feeds... Trim the feed... Go to Windows Movie Maker... Annndd... Burn to disc!" L took out the disc when it was done burning and put it in a case, then put it in his pocket.
*The Next Day*
"Hey, L. Sorry you had to hear all of that..." Light muttered.
"Oh, no worries... We're still pals right?" L smiled, offering his hand. Light took it and shook.
"Thanks for taking this so well."
"Yeah no problem^^"
"By the way, what's that DVD? Who are you mailing it to?"
"Oh.. It contains some information on the Kira case. I'm mailing it to some affiliates that work underground."
"Sounds cool^^"
*A few weeks later*
"Hey Light! Guess what?"
"Oh God.. What now?"
"I got online and ordered us a movie from netflix... Since Misa refuses to come over anymore... I felt kinda bad for you... So I thought we could watch some porn together^^"
"That's really thoughtful of you, L... Sure!"
L stands up and puts the movie in the DVD player.
"So what's it called?" Light glances at the case.
"Desperation....! I heard it's very realistic... And VERY popular. Apparently the person who submitted it had gotten like, 3 Million dollars in royalties...!"
"Damn! This must be an AWESOME porno...!"
*The movie starts to play, it's in the daylight, rather than the usual night vision. There's a guy with a handcuff chain... Leading to his closet.*
"Hey, L... That looks kinda like..."
"OH, LIGHT!" The TV blares.
"WHAT?!?!" Light puts his hands around L's throat.
"YOU GOD-DAMN COCKSUCKER! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?!?"
"Was...That...An...Offer?" L chokes out. Light releases his hands.
"What?"
"You just offered to have me suck your cock...!"
Light buries his head into a pillow and sobs.
"I-I...Hate you... S-So... Much.."
~END~