Until The Death
Tomi Sama
Pairings: AkuRoku, RikuxSora
Warnings: Crying, undetailed sex, angst, maybe language
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Request: Review please?
Author's note: At the end of the day, I wrote this for AkuRoku Day. It ended up coming down to two different fic ideas. One was fluffy and appropriate, one was more depressing and more RikuxSora cetric. I, naturally, chose the second. I had to go fast in the end… eight o'clock so I ran out of time. Blah. I hope I didn't rush it too much for you.
--
It was calm, as most nights are on Destiny Island, after the heartless's invasion had ended. Their island was back, now… there were no dusks to ruin the perfect sunset the warriors shared together from their bent paopu tree; no nobodies to ruin their movie that night, either.
But with Riku's arm hardly touching Sora at all, as his arm wrapped around him, resting on the back of the couch, in more of a friendly manner than a romantic one, Sora felt the familiar tears streaming down his face.
"Sora?" The brunet was still alarmed by the changes in the older teens voice. He'd grown up in the darkness, the time they'd spent away from each other. Even the month of happiness since their return, the return of normalcy to the entire universe after the battles, couldn't stop or fully explain the random bursts of tears that the blond always had in the quiet moments after dark.
"Sora," the arm that was barely touching him before was now wrapped tightly around his shoulders like a blanket. The other hand, which had been on the silver-haired teens knee before, went to the brunet's cheek, wiping away the tears away as they fell. "It's not the movie, is it?"
Sora snorted a laugh, despite the feeling of dread that was growing too familiar now. "No." He answered, wiping his other cheek free of tears. "I love the crappy 80s movies you make me watch religiously."
Riku frowned, but couldn't hold out long. He smiled, putting his face to his best friend's shoulder, the closer, the more comforting he was. "Do you want me to turn it off?"
"N-No." The contact made it harder to hold bad, he felt the tears almost explode from his eyes, confused as to why. He held back on to Riku, his own face in his boyfriend's neck. The tears weren't stopping this time. "I want to see how it ends…"
Riku nodded, moving himself away, removing contact with the brunet as he resumed the movie.
When the contact broke, the tears stopped.
--
It was always the moments of intimacy with Riku that brought out the tears for Sora.
When they surfed themselves to exhaustion on the perfect waves of the island, Sora had no tears; however, when Riku came up behind him, grabbing his hand to walk back to the shack together, the tears started.
When they sat with Kairi, Selfie, Wakka and Tidus, all of whom had grown up so much in their time apart, around the campfire roasting marshmallows for s'mores, the dread was there, the sense of loneliness, but the tears never came. When one by one, their peers left and Riku moved closer, kissing at Sora's face, then lips, the tears started.
Sometimes, even looking at Riku, knowing the love they shared, sent the brunet into a fit of tears. And to say that the silver-haired teen didn't notice that it was him who was causing the salty remorse from the brunet, would be a lie.
One night at the paopu tree, Riku sat at the edge of the island, eating a paopu with himself. Did this mean his destiny would always be entwined with himself? He'd always wondered. Before he went to the darkness, he used to eat it with himself… and secretly blamed that for his self-absorbed turn against his best friend. Since they'd gotten back, they'd shared a paopu, in fact, it was the first thing they did upon returning to the island.
But the silver-haired teen had a soft spot for the juicy forbidden fruit.
"You know that you're not supposed to share one with yourself, Riku." The playful banter from a familiar voice. But Sora had changed, too. The brunet sat down, taking the paopu from Riku, biting into it.
"Do you want to break up, Sora?"
The paopu was out of Sora's hand before he noticed, and dropped into the water before he cared. Tears didn't swell, surprisingly, but the hurt on his face was obvious.
"You want to break up with me?"
"No." Riku didn't dare touch him to comfort him, but he kept his eyes on the familiar blue ones he'd grown up with. But even his eyes had changed. Was it all the things he'd seen that made his eyes change? Or was it because of him. "No, of course I don't."
"Then why would you bring it up?"
Riku sighed, breaking eye-contact to look up at the sky. It was always a pink sky around sunset. Their trek to and from the mainland was always a peaceful one. This sky, for which his love was so appropriately named, was always beautiful.
"You always cry when I'm around. When I look at you, you cry… when I touch you, you cry…"
"… Riku…"
"I just didn't want to see you cry anymore… and if that meant me leaving… I would do that."
Sora grabbed his boyfriend's arm, holding on as if he would vanish into thin air if he let go. "No, Riku! Don't ever leave me…"
They sat there for a moment, Sora without tears and Riku happy that he was wrong, watching the sky. Looking back on it, if Riku could have left then, gathered both of them and went home, a nightmare would be adverted. But he couldn't go back… and so Sora finally spoke up.
"I think I know what's making me cry… Will you help me make it stop?"
--
"Sora, it's a crappy 80s movie, like you said…"
Since Riku heard Sora's idea for making the crying stop, Riku wished he hadn't agreed before he heard the plan. It was a stupid plan, totally reckless and self-destructive… It would be one thing if it was Sora taking on the feat, but to unleash the demon himself to do it…
"Do you know what you're supposed to do, Riku?" Sora held his hands, lying in the bed in Merlin's house in Traverse town. Kairi was there, pacing nervously around. Leon and Cloud were standing watch, not that the heartless were around to attack… but still…
"I'm supposed to take him to the house…" Leon's house, "… and show him the movie."
Sora nodded, his tired eyes dimming with the spell that Kairi and Merlin were putting him under. "And then?"
"Then ask him if he wants to try…" Riku was crying now, the tears of worry streaming freely down his face, "… he'll say yes, of course. So then I show him you and tell him if he gets any ideas about not coming back I'll follow him and kill him for eternity for making me lose you…"
"Riku…"
"… and then Merlin and Aerith will put him under, he'll do what needs to be done, and then he'll wake up, and you'll be brought back, and you'll be one again."
Sora nodded sleepily.
"In the movie, Sora, they had to atone for their past crimes. I don't want to wait while he runs around free to atone for whatever haunts him."
Sora smiled. "He has nothing to atone for that can't be solved in death."
Riku shook his head, his hands shaking with nerves, and tears still falling.
"Sora, if you don't come back…"
Sora cut short Riku's speech with one of his own. He was almost out now, gone, and he didn't want to waste it like this. "If I don't come back, I don't want the image of you crying as my last one…" He reached forward, brushing Riku's cheek off. "Smile."
Riku nodded, and smiled.
Sora pulled him down to kiss him goodbye, but was gone before their lips touched.
Roxas didn't take long to follow.
In a creepy, ghost movie sort of way, the blond sat up, raising slowly from Sora, see-through and hazy. Riku continued to hold the brunet's hand, even as the blond rubbed his eyes and stood, solidifying as soon as he was no longer in contact with his somebody. He didn't look around in a panic. He knew who he was and probably, what was going on.
"Roxas."
Riku let go as the blond turned to face him. His eyes were a different shade, so very slightly, and by the depressed look in them, Sora rightly knew who had been crying. Roxas and Riku had a near mutual hatred of the other, for obvious reasons.
"Sora wants me to take you…"
"I know what Sora wants." Without waiting for Riku to prompt him, Roxas laid down on the other bed, pulling the medical blanket over him.
"You've already seen Flatliners?"
"It's a crappy 80s movie. I've seen it."
"Did you watch it with…?"
Roxas's eyes shot to Riku's, sapphire to aquamarine, daring the older teen to say his name. Riku wouldn't dare. He let the question fall short.
"No, asshole. I watched it with you. Put me under now. I didn't come back to look at you. I see you all the time."
The words stung, and the month of calm attached to Sora made Roxas even more bitter than he had been… and he'd always been depressed and hateful. They had always disliked each other… but the hatred seemed to have grown on the blond's end.
"Why do you hate me, Roxas?"
"Why does the moon hate the sun, Riku?"
The silver-haired teen shook his head, "The moon doesn't hate the sun; they coexist, without one there wouldn't be the other."
"Your ignorant ideology is disgusting. I hate you because you are everything I hate." Roxas started a few times, trying to express his hatred, without success. With the rage so evident, the words in his mouth died, until… "I hate you because Sora loves you. You love Sora. Sora and Riku. Riku and Sora. The sea and the sky… what am I? I'm more than Sora's nobody… and Axel…"
Tears came again.
"Axel loved me. Axel died for me. And now I have to spend a lifetime of the perfect balance of harmony, the love where the sea meets the sky and the tranquility and peacefulness of life is…" Roxas wiped his eyes and laid back down.
"Put me under. I want to see Axel now."
--
It didn't start out like Kiefer Sutherland or Kevin Bacon or that Baldwin guy's death-vision. Well, there was peacefulness…
It was a sidewalk, a street, one Roxas recognized too well… it was the blond's one regret.
But he wasn't dressed in the organization's clothes. He was just dressed in normal clothing, not even what he'd been wearing when he died. Jeans and a blue hoodie, he looked down, then up: Axel had given him them.
He didn't walk his familiar walk away this time. Without being prompted to stop, to be asked why he was leaving, he turned to run back… all he wanted to do was go back.
As he ran, he heard a chuckle and stopped. From the shadows, where the redhead appeared last time, nearly begging him not to go; stood his welcoming party.
Roxas wasted no time jumping into the redhead's outstretched arms.
--
"How long should we give him, Riku?" Aerith asked. It was a fare question, but not one Riku wanted to answer. Sora said to give him time… a lot of it, as much as they could give him before he would be brain dead upon returning.
The flatline was annoying.
With a sigh, Riku checked his watch.
"I wouldn't want to confront death…" Leon and Cloud had moved inside now. Being it a crappy 80s movie, they'd both been alive to watch it the first time around, unlike the silver-haired teen. If they did watch it in theatres the first time around, Riku could only guess. Neither seemed like a film critic and with their colorful (well, shades of dark, emo colors anyway) history, he doubted they saw it on opening night.
Cloud agreed with a nod.
"There's too much in my past that needs to stay dead."
"How do you make amends to the dead anyway?" Cloud asked. "Or, how would Roxas? What did he ever do to Axel, really?"
--
They hadn't said anything. In Axel's arms, strong and not so different from Riku's, Roxas didn't need words. All the things he cried about, wishing he'd said to Axel before the redhead killed himself, those things Axel knew.
He knew that Roxas loved him. He knew Roxas wished he'd never left to find out who he was.
He knew that Roxas knew that Axel missed him.
"You shouldn't be so hard on Sora, Roxas."
Pulling back to peer in the eyes of his dead lover, the emerald was brighter than ever.
"It's not Sora's fault I'm here and you're there. If it wasn't for Sora, we wouldn't have met. You shouldn't make him cry every time he's with Riku."
"I hate Riku."
Axel just laughed… in death, he'd seemed to calm down, and hugged Roxas again.
--
"Riku, how long?"
"What do you think he's doing in there?"
--
It was calm, as most nights are here, after the heartless's invasion had ended. Their town was back, now… there were no dusks to ruin the perfect sunset the warriors shared together from their bench; no nobodies to ruin their movie that night, either.
But with Axel's arm hardly touching Roxas at all, as his arm wrapped around him, resting on the back of the bench, in more of a friendly manner than a romantic one, Roxas felt the familiar tears streaming down his face.
"Roxas, don't cry, please." Axel turned to face Roxas in the same manner that Riku had done to Sora. "Please don't cry, please."
Axel was severely less comforting, it was just his fiery nature, and he panicked whenever the blond would lean forward and the tears hit the pavement. The sea salt ice-cream that the redhead brought for them to share in the fleeting moment they had together, melting and tilting dangerously toward the ground as it seemed forgotten by the blond.
"I'm sorry, Axel." His arms wrapped around the neck that offered itself for the slaughter. "I'm sorry that I can't be with you… stay here with you like this."
"Don't worry, Roxas. I picked this… I chose this. I knew I couldn't live in the same world with Sora, as long as you were trapped there, I would wait here for you… waiting one life time for eternity… that's all this is really about."
The ice-cream, both Axel's and Roxas' were abandoned in the pavement as the blond pushed his lips against the redheads. The world around them swirled in fire, a likely trick of Axel's, and when the fire and smoke cleared, they were in a familiar place…
Axel's bedroom.
The blond smirked against the redhead's lips. "So this is what you really wanted?"
Axel smirked back, "It's your near-death experience. I'm giving you what you want."
For as fast as everything went to that point; in that moment, things slowed down. Axel's hand slowly rushed over Roxas's cheek, moving blond hair to the side, to peer into his eyes. He pushed up, slightly, angling the blond's head higher before pressing down again. Their lips met slowly, painfully slow for Roxas, and parted without warning.
For as hot as the temperature was in his own mouth, the second the redhead's tongue slid over his own, Roxas felt the temperature rise. Axel always ran a natural fever, something that death itself couldn't cure. It was because of his element, Roxas figured. Axel always set everything he touched on fire.
Roxas felt the warm hands tracing lines on his stomach as the redhead pushed the jacket up his chest. The kiss broke when Axel realized he couldn't kiss and remove the pull over in the same breath, but took up a full-on assault to the blond's chest while waiting. Roxas pulled the shirt up and over his head, and Axel held his hips down, kissing experimentally at the pale chest under him, before biting.
The sharp breath in, along with the hand paced on his head told Axel he was doing something right.
So he kissed his way lower, leaving a trail of searing hot touches down the blond's stomach as he went. The button of the pants may not have been there at all, the pants themselves could have been destroyed. Roxas couldn't remember wearing them, he only knew they were off, now.
Despite the slow pace Axel wanted to maintain, he wasted no time once Roxas was naked.
"Aku…"
The soft moan didn't take the hungry, predator's look out of Axel's eyes, but got them to redirect their attention. Emerald met lust-coated sapphire, and Axel knew his duty, for now, was up there.
The kiss was a distraction, and Roxas easily flipped the pair, tumbling for dominance on Axel's small bed. The bigger teen could have easily won it back, but instead placed his hands under his head, the predator's look in his eyes turned passive. It was Roxas's turn.
Although Axel had always been the same shade of porcelain that Roxas had been in life in death, his body was tanner. The blond expected him to be filled with bruises when he unzipped the light jacket Axel wore, but he was untouched… far more untouched as he'd been in life.
"Surprising, I know." Axel breathed easy, his hot skin being cooled as the blond's smaller hands ran over his bare flesh. "You always left me marked… whether in training or when he had sex…"
"You don't do either now?" Roxas smiled, "I figured you wouldn't stop training… even in death."
"Why would I train? I don't have to fight anymore."
"You're going to get fat."
Roxas laughed as Axel puffed his cheeks, offended. He wasn't fat, of course. The muscles, though fading to a healthier level, were still as prominent as ever. Although he wasn't on top of his game, he could still take on the best of them.
As if to apologize, Roxas started kissing Axel's stomach, tracing his fingers around the muscles for a few seconds, before he couldn't wait any longer, and started fumbling with Axel's belt.
In the heat of passion, the belt he wore always seemed to be Roxas's toughest obstacle.
They were both naked now, and Axel's eyes were shut. His hands tangled in Roxas's hair, murmuring how much he loved the blond and please, god, don't let it stop.
Time cut ahead. Roxas was on his back, his face even with Axel's, peering into his eyes. They closed tightly, his nails digging into Axel's bare back, as he felt the welcomed intrusion… so extremely different feeling than when he was Sora with Riku…
It didn't take long for him to adjust, allowing Axel to quicken his pace. The cadence was fast now. Axel grabbed Roxas, moving his hand in time with his thrusts.
Another cut, Roxas felt himself fading. He could start to hear them above him, coking him to wake up, but he refused. He willed his body further into death, into a life with Axel, but even the redhead could feel his fading. He quickened his pace and with the last couple of thrusts, he got Roxas to scream his name, his own screaming following shortly afterward.
They were given silence for a few seconds, before CPR was started again.
"I don't want to leave you again, Axel." The blond said from his lover's arms, kissing his chest as he saw his own arms fading.
"Don't worry. When Sora dies, we'll be together. A somebody doesn't need their nobody to die… I've met my somebody in death, you know…"
"What's he like?"
"He's an asshole, go figure."
Roxas laughed, but started choking when someone banged on his chest.
"Bring him back!" The voice, Riku, was full of tears… even Axel heard it. "Bring him back, now, Aerith!"
"He's not coming back," Even Aerith sounded panicked, "Merlin!"
"Don't be mean to Riku, Roxas." Axel kissed him before sitting up, bringing the blond with him. "Let him and Sora have a life… but in dreams, you can be active, you know."
"What does that mean, Axel?"
"Clear!"
Roxas was being lifted up and Axel just smiled.
"Be nice, Roxas."
The coughing and sputtering was evident, and Riku nearly flew to the blond's side as he was being revived. He handed him a glass of water, and rubbed his back as he sat up, still choking from a lack of oxygen.
Riku was surprised that Roxas didn't bat him off with a 'I'm not your boyfriend so get the hell off me.' He was surprised that Roxas didn't take off running, aiming to go kamikaze to join Axel again. But he was most surprised when Roxas turned to face him, and he actually smiled.
The next part was crucial, and Riku knew it. This was the part he'd been the most worried about. In the end, there was no medical or magical procedure to bring Sora back… Sora needed his nobody to be a somebody, and only that nobody could chose to return to the host.
Roxas sat the glass down and stood up. He looked around Merlin's house, studying the place they were. It was small, but occupied with too many people. Merlin himself, along with the very pretty Aerith we close, both out of breath, but excited to see him… even if he wasn't Sora.
Leon and Cloud would have left before Roxas awoke, if it hadn't happened so fast. Their worry for Sora made them stay, seeing the blond for the first time, awake.
They stayed as motionless and expressionless as they could, when they came under attack from the blond's eyes. They'd heard his fight with Riku, and although physically he was no match for the older warriors, he knew what Sora knew, and probably more… he could say things to make them break.
They took a unified breath in, waiting to fall to his attack.
They were surprised when he held out his hand to Leon first, smiling in the same innocent way Sora did. "I'm Roxas. Nice to meet you, Leon." Then to Cloud, his hand and the same, "I'm Roxas. Nice to meet you, Cloud."
The older boys left as soon as Roxas turned his attention to Sora, sleeping on the bed.
This room wasn't short on weapons. Although Sora refused to carry his keyblade himself, a stupid mistake of his own accord, Riku carried his weapon. Both men outside had theirs. The room was filled with staffs and keyblades, all of which could easily be used to kill himself, if he wanted.
But looking down at the sleeping Sora, he knew what he had to do… not for himself, but for the brunet who made him.
"I love him, you know."
Riku misjudged Roxas's hesitation, naturally. Why would the blond go down without a fight, without a lecture? The reason was… he just would.
"I know you do."
"He loves me, too… you know."
"I know we do."
Riku opened his mouth to say something. He was at Roxas's side, mostly to prevent him from escaping. But when he heard what he thought to be a Freudian Slip, he had to check him on it.
"We?"
"Me and Sora. We both love you."
Riku was shocked, but wouldn't fall for a trick.
"Would you like to hear my terms?"
Riku sighed. Of course there were terms. But he wouldn't hear it. He kept his voice low, but the rage was there. "You hear my terms, Roxas. You get back into Sora, now, and you don't make him cry anymore."
Roxas smiled, touching Sora's hand affectionate. "He's like a brother to me, Riku. A brother I love, but I don't need him to survive, like he needs me. Will you listen to my terms, or will you have me kill us both?"
Riku nodded helplessly.
"Term one," Roxas started, facing Riku and poking him once on the chest, "you stay with Sora, always. I mean, you can let him out of your sight, but you don't leave him for another. Understand?"
"You want me to stay with Sora. Yes, I understand."
"Agree to accept term one?"
"You know I wouldn't leave him, Roxas. I agree."
Roxas nodded and poked him twice, "Term two, when you and Sora die…"
"I'm not going to let him die!"
"… when the both of you die, probably together in some disgustingly romantic one-lovebird-can't-live-without-the-other movie-esque way, probably sixty or eighty years from now, knowing the strength of heart the two of you possess…"
Upon hearing, Riku started crying again, but smiling. Roxas smiled as well… finally, the silver-haired teen realized that the blond meant no harm.
"Term two is, that when you both die, you will have dinner with Axel and me. A somebody doesn't need his nobody in death… Sora and I could officially meet. Understand?"
"You…" Riku wiped his eyes, "When Sora and I die, you want me to introduce him to you… so you can formally meet. I understand."
"Agree to accept term two?"
"I agree."
Roxas smiled, and reached out his hand to Riku, "then we'll shake on the two terms and I'll bring Sora back."
A shaking wouldn't do it… Shaking was a sign of respect, and Riku didn't respect Roxas. He owed him one. Riku threw his arms around the blond's waist, which was identical to the brunet sleeping next to them. Roxas froze for a second, before returning the hug.
"I won't be present in Sora's life anymore. I won't make him cry…"
"Roxas…"
"I technically never made him cry, you know… I was crying. He just felt my sorrow and cried for me."
"…Riku..."
Riku stumbled, upon realizing that the blond wasn't there anymore. He wasn't hugging anything… his arms were wrapped around himself. Turning his head, he saw where the voice had come from. Sora sat up and stretched… Riku wrapped his arms around him instantly.
From now on, when Riku and Sora were together, Sora didn't cry because of the sorrow he felt from Roxas.
--
But to say Roxas just laid down and accepted fate, would be a lie as well.
Roxas slept, totally unaware during the day of the romps Sora and Riku took frequently, the entire day. He promised not to make Sora cry, but to be alone, stuck inside while the feeling of love surrounded him… was unbearable. So he laid dormant… he didn't watch if he could help it, but when Sora slept, always in Riku's arms, Roxas awoke.
It was fuzzy around the corners: a dream. The first time he was surprised. Was Sora dreaming about him?
But he found himself at the spot he walked away again… Axel was waiting. The redhead smiled.
"You've been a good boy, Roxas." Axel would always start. "Sora wouldn't let you have his dreams if you still made him cry."
Axel and Roxas would repeat a very similar routine to that of Riku and Sora. Movies, walks, sometimes sex. For really, they all seemed to be the same person, on the inside.
Until the death… Sora and Roxas remained together peacefully.