Austin being an idiot is really fun to write. Enjoy!
"It wasn't my fault," Austin defended again, as he and Dez dragged the heavy box up the stairs. She rolled her eyes, ignoring this for what was probably the fifth time in the last five minutes. If we're counting days, it could be in the millions. They brought it into the practice room, setting it down in the middle. The once comfortable and well used couch, now pushed into the corner where it would await it's death by garbage man, was in pieces. Literally.
Ally glanced at the person who broke it. Persons, actually.
They both grinned back. "We bought a new one," Dez reminded her. "IKEA had a great sale going on!"
Dez soon left, leaving Austin and Ally to destroy the box and find their new couch looking very similar to the one in the corner. She huffed, raising her eyebrows to her friend, as if to say 'really?'
He grinned again, weaker and almost embarrassed. "It comes with directions," he offered.
Ally ripped them out of his hands, staring at what looked like it was written by someone way above her reading level. "We're going to be here all night," she groaned.
"At least we don't have plans!"
"I could be shopping with Trish," she reminded him. "Actually, I could be doing a lot of things that aren't putting together the couch from hell."
"It wasn't my fault!" One million and one.
"Yeah, next time you decide to bring five dozen bricks into the practice room, put them onto the floor." She didn't even want to know why Dez needed to have five dozen bricks hidden anyway. If it was one thing she had learned while becoming friends with them, it was to not ask. It was always better not to ask.
"Come on, let's try and make sure we have all the pieces."
"Okay," she grumbled, grabbing the directions and helping him spread it over the floor. They moved the cardboard out of the way, and sat next to each other, reading off the first few objects. It seemed simple and Ally wondered if maybe she overestimated the level of the task. That was, until Austin asked if she had piece 'two b with c intertwined'. She sputtered, "What?"
"Two b with c intertwined," he said again. "It should look like this."
Ally thought she'd seen cars less complicated. "I don't have that."
"Maybe it's over there."
She checked. "No."
"It says its important," he muttered nervously. "Makes the base sturdy."
Ally groaned. "I can't believe you couldn't just have them put it in for us here."
"It cost an extra two hundred dollars. Do you know how many pancakes I could buy with two hundred dollars? We can do this! Come on. This looks like it could be b. Maybe this is c, try putting them together. No, push harder. Ally, harder. No, that way."
"ENOUGH!" she shouted, throwing part b, d, z as far as she was concerned. "This is ridiculous. I'm not doing this. You broke the couch," she said evenly. "You put it together."
She threw the heavy papers at him and stormed out of the room. She didn't stop until she was at Trish's newest job of the week, a pizzeria, with a soda and slice in hand.
A few hours later, and having heard nothing from her musical friend, Trish suggested they see what had happened in the meantime. Quite afraid she would walk into him sleeping on the box, the pieces still strewn across the room, she was instead amazed to find the couch completely together, bright red mattress in place, with Austin not in sight.
"I would have thought he'd like to brag that he got it together."
"Me too," Trish said, eyeing the room, waiting for him to come out of a corner with a grin on his face.
Instead, the couch just sat there.
Ally walked toward it.
"Oh!" Austin came running into the room. "There you are! I finished it a few minutes ago. I couldn't find you anywhere. It wasn't that hard once you attached part two b to e which attached to r and then you had to sort of push on that part because it was loose, but I think I got it. I want to test it and make sure it's just as comfortable as the old one." He sauntered forward. "If I would do the honors," he said, yawning as example to the work he just put in, he dove onto the couch, much to Ally's annoyance (that's ANOTHER way to break a couch, Austin!), but soon to her laughter as it collapsed underneath him, part two b rolling out and Austin in bits and pieces of wood.
"Ow," he moaned.
"Good job," Trish howled. "You are quite the handy man. Remind me never to ask him to put anything together for me," she added to Ally. The girls giggled.
He stood up. "Fine! I will go back to IKEA and have them put it together. But someone is buying me pancakes for my troubles!"
Ally just rolled her eyes, as he left the room, his ego and dignity trailing behind him.
A few days later, the IKEA worker was coming up to the practice room, with tools and a smile in tow. He quickly pieced it together and had it ready within an hour. Even a test run and jump onto it didn't send it into a million pieces. Austin stood up, glaring at the man. "What did you do? I put it together perfectly according to the directions!"
The man smiled and Ally laughed as he handed him a few pieces of paper, "Well, it might have helped if you were to grab the right directions before leaving the store. The directions you have put together a bed, not this couch."
As he left the room, Ally shook her head. "You didn't look to make sure the directions were right before you left?"
He grinned and scratched his head. "It's not my fault!"