Disclaimer: I don't own them, I didn't create them, and I don't profit from them. I do however enjoy taking them out from time to time and playing with them. Kudos to Hart Hanson for creating them.
Author's Note: This is going to be one of those series of one shots or maybe two shots. Nothing is in any particular order, but in whatever order these random ideas come to me. Hopefully, my enormous case of writer's block will finally be eradicated and I'll have an actual story idea very soon - to string you along until I get Booth and Brennan together in the end, because really what other sort of ending do you want in a story?
"It isn't rational." Brennan furrowed her brow as she considered the television program that Angela had forced her to sit and watch. While it was interesting from an anthropological point of view, she couldn't understand why a woman would willingly go on national television to simultaneously date nearly thirty men, eliminating some of them each week with the eventual goal of finding true love with only one of them. She was an attractive woman by anyone's standards, surely she couldn't be that desperate.
"It's called The Bachelorette and it isn't supposed to be rational, Sweetie. This is mindless brain candy and that's what you're supposed to be using your new TV for." Angela still couldn't believe that Booth had finally talked Brennan into getting one in the first place, but as long as it was girl's night in, she was going to make sure it was put to good use. Besides, only a few of the men were left and she was curious who this year's bachelorette was going to choose.
"Booth convinced me to get the TV because of all of the educational programming available." She glanced over at Angela as she gestured towards the flat screen. "Why would people tune in to watch a woman who is so indecisive? Is this show popular?" She had already identified who the alpha male truly was, and clearly this woman had no idea, despite the fact that she had eliminated nearly all of the candidates.
Angela snorted out a laugh. "Yes, it's popular. This is like the zillionth installment. Everyone loves a love story." Although the love story she'd really like to tune into was the end of the denial that Booth and Brennan seemed to be living in.
"Love is just a biochemical response, and given that she seems equally attracted to all of the remaining men, I'm not convinced she believes in love either." If this was supposed to reinforce the idea of falling in love, it seemed to Brennan to be doing the exact opposite.
Angela considered that for a moment. "Well you have a point, I mean if I had that many men to choose from, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to figure out which one I'd want right off the bat." The guy with the wavy hair had plenty of possibilities, he was strong, manly, and had a fabulous smile. "Well after taking a few test drives first anyhow."
"It seems to be a rather artificial way to meet someone anyway." This whole show was one big perpetual fantasy - how could a rational, reasonable person be expected to find a suitable partner unless it was over the course of their day to day life? There were too many variables that couldn't be quantified in a scenario like this. Even internet dating was a more reasonable method of making a choice than this was.
"But it makes for great TV." Angela grinned. "And in the end you just have to go with your heart." Maybe one of these days Bren would realize who her heart had already fallen for.
"Booth would say that." He was the heart person after all, and suddenly Brennan wondered what Booth would think about this woman with so many men to choose from on television.
"Speaking of Agent Hot Stuff, don't you think he'd be perfect for a show like this?" Angela didn't think Booth would ever be willing to subject himself to an obsessed American viewing public, but perhaps if Brennan felt threatened she might wake up and see the perfect alpha male right under her nose.
Brennan considered it thoughtfully. "Booth would be a perfect candidate, although with that many men to compete against, a woman could be distracted by too many shiny baubles and miss his real value."
Angela inwardly grinned. "Well they have a version of this called The Bachelor too."
"Oh." She hadn't really considered that. Would Booth really do a show like this where he had his pick of seemingly perfect women? Did he even know a show like this existed? Could this be an ideal way for a heart person to meet their perfect match - especially one who believed in love the way Booth did?
"Booth would make one hot Bachelor." It was an honest observation, not that Angela was interested herself, she knew that Booth and Brennan were destined to be together if they'd only get over their denial.
"I'm not sure what temperature has to do with it it, but Booth is a bachelor and he is by objective standards very attractive." She could concede that point, his appearance was very symmetrical and he had strong, handsome features.
Angela smirked. "Sweetie, Booth isn't just hot by objective standards, he's hot by your standards."
"He wouldn't make a spectacle of himself on television though. While it might appeal to his ego to have so many available women throwing themselves at him, his desire for justice wouldn't allow him to take so much time away from work just for a television show." Brennan was sure that his cosmic balance sheet wouldn't allow him to put his job on hold. "Besides, he has Parker to consider."
"Admit it, Bren. If Booth went on a show like that, you'd be jealous." Amusement seemed to dance in her eyes as she regarded her friend.
"Jealousy is completely irrational." Of course very few women would be even good enough to date Booth, let alone convince him that she should be the only woman in his life.
"So is love, but people fall in love every day." She really hoped that eventually Brennan would believe that it was possible and that she already had something really special with Booth that most people would die for. If either of them would ever admit it, that is.
"Doesn't her propensity for kissing each of the men cause the others to become more territorial?" The entire idea of this show seemed to be entirely contradictory to the American social dating scene as she understood it. It was a good thing her specialty was forensic anthropology - living, breathing people were entirely too complicated.
"You mean are they jealous?" She could frame it any way she wanted to, but it still meant the same thing as far as Angela was concerned. "They're men, what do you think?"
A knock at the door seemed to offer a reprieve.
Angela smiled - fate seemed to be intervening as Brennan opened the door to reveal Booth standing there with bags of take out.
"Hey, Bones, I saw your light on and thought you might be hungry." His smile faltered only a hair as he noticed that his partner wasn't the only one there.
"Angela and I were just watching a television show." Brennan gestured towards the TV. "Something about a bachelorette."
Booth had a slight 'deer in the headlights' look on his face. "I don't want to intrude."
"You are not intruding." Angela saw this as her perfect chance to give these two a well placed push. What girl's night was complete without a man to spice things up? "We were just watching The Bachelorette, bet you wish you were one of those lucky guys."
"None of those guys are getting lucky." Booth scoffed as he sandwiched himself between the ladies on the couch and set the bags of takeout on the coffee table.
"Isn't that the whole point of the program?" Brennan quirked an eyebrow in his direction as she honed in on the carton of Pad Thai.
"There isn't any guarantee that she's gonna end up with the real thing, and trust me, some of these guys should have had a background check." One particular guy seemed to stand out to Booth and he pointed a chopstick at the TV. "That guy right there has slimeball written all over him. Why is he still in the mix at this point? What kind of woman goes for that?"
"He looks pretty hot to me." Of course bad boy seemed to scream attractive to Angela.
"Anthropologically speaking it probably isn't the most realistic way to find an ideal partner. For a something considered a reality show, it seems to have very little to do with reality." With cameras watching your every move, how could a person possibly feel comfortable enough to evaluate a potential match? Brennan was sure that she would never consent to being involved in that kind of situation.
"Yeah." Booth chuckled in agreement. "First of all, the average guy doesn't have that kind of cash to throw around on lavish dates. After something like that, everything else is going to be a big disappointment."
"Why do you assume that a man has to be the one to pay for the date? Surely there are plenty of women who could afford to pay for the kind of date they'd want." She really didn't like stereotypes.
"Not everyone is as well off as you are, Bones." Booth offered a grin. "A guy likes to woo a woman though. Let her knew he appreciates her." He certainly appreciated Bones, but wasn't so sure that she'd ever realize it.
"By going out of their way to do nice things for them, for example." Angela's smile was a little too bright as she flashed it in Booth's direction. She knew what he was up to and it was nice that at least one half of her favorite non-couple wasn't in as much denial as she'd assumed.
"Yeah, that." If Booth had picked up on Angela's inference, he didn't let on.
Brennan pursed her lips together and seemed to contemplate that for a moment. She nodded just a bit as she crashed into her own conclusion. "I could see that." She glanced over at Booth. "But what's wrong with a woman wanting to woo a man?"
Angela rolled her eyes and inwardly laughed.
"It's just not natural, Bones. Men don't want to be wooed, women do." There was a hint of a whine in his voice.
"In some cultures it's perfectly natural for a woman to pursue a man." Brennan abandoned the Pad Thai and plucked the Mee Krab from the assortment of cartons.
"Well this man does not want to be wooed." Of course if Bones was the one doing the wooing, he might just have to reconsider his stand on the issue.
Angela was starting to feel like she was a fly on the wall.
"Well then it's a good thing that I'm not wooing you. I wouldn't try and woo someone who didn't want to be wooed." Brennan wasn't about to set herself up for rejection, especially not by someone who was as important to her as Booth was.
Angela whispered under her breath in amusement. "Woohoo."
"You wouldn't?" Booth seemed almost hurt.
"Not if you didn't want me to." Was he asking to be wooed? Brennan was confused.
"Oh." There you go, shove the broccoli into your mouth and save yourself from saying something really stupid, Seel.
"But I could meet you halfway." Brennan didn't seem to realize the implications of her words.
Angela resisted the urge to squeal and shoved a bite of Pad Kee Mau in her mouth.
"Oh." Booth swallowed hard with an eyebrow quirked. Half way was good. In fact, half way was looking pretty damn good. He could do half way. "I'll keep that in mind."
"You do that." Brennan smiled and shifted just a little bit closer to him as she turned her attention back to the television. "Now who do you think she's going to pick? I kind of like the guy with the dark hair and brown eyes."
Booth couldn't help but protest. "C'mon, Bones, she's not going to pick him - she's completely ignoring all of his signals."
With a mischievous smile on her face, Angela chimed in. "Oh, I don't know. She might be more aware of his signals than you think." She was very pleased with how the evening had gone. The Bachelorette might not find her true love this season on TV, but she was sure that the two people sitting next to her would emerge from their denial and live happily ever after. And much sooner than she'd ever hoped.