Something wonderful
They kept asking
Asking for my opinion…
But all I wanted was to sleep, to forget that I was alive.
I lost my self
I lost my will
You're in heaven
And I'm in hell
Mom can't look at me, 'cause it hurts too much…
It's one of those odd occasions that I wished we weren't identical…
Gin's tough as always,
But I know
She's dying on the inside…
But she's got that guy of hers holding her when she loses it
Dad's been trying to talk; our brothers have as well…
But I can't seem to understand…
…them really at all really
It all comes out sounding like rushing water instead of words…
Why'd it have to happen, you were my other half
I would have given my self for you…
But now I think I wouldn't,
I think I'm facing something worse then death because of you…
Damn sadist
I wish I could just fall asleep, but that buzzing noise keeps waking me up
It keeps telling me I'm alone
That it's to quite when you're not here
I keep searching the room when I wake up, trying to find your mischievous grin, but it's not here, it gone and no one can ever give it the way you do.
We had a visitor the other day…
Sorry but I kissed her
I know we agreed you had dibs…
But man you know how she makes me feel…how you make me feel
Just so you know,
It was something wonderful
…but your smile made it feel like I was cheating…
Like I wasn't allowed to be happy…
Brother
Oh brother
It feels like there are a million hands gripping at my throat
They're trying to kill me
Like they killed you
I'm tempted to let them drag me down to hell
Then maybe my pain might vanish
And I can smile despite my position
…
I opened the curtains today
The sun was shinning…
And I'm tempted to put some stupid cliché, like I was raining on the inside or something…
But in reality, I only felt warm… but that was it
The suns never felt so warm to me
I guess we'd never really paid attention
Mom's cooking again
And dad's going to work
Our brothers are aging
So's Gin…
Potter's been eyeing her like a wild dog
While the book worms growing on Ronald
Angie…
She means well… but her crying all the time just doesn't help…
She'd still gorgeous, and she's still tough…
But everyone has to draw the line when you lose someone…
She's should be in your arms
Not mine…
You'd laugh at how pathetic I've been
I'd laugh too if I remembered how…
Fred… I wanna hit you… if you were alive, I'd kill you…
Flashes of our childhood keep chocking me up
And I wince at the sting of a new set of tears
"You'd feel better if you just let it out." Angie tells me as she combs at my hair.
But I just shake it off…
There be no stopping if I start…
Why'd I have to be so damn attached to a guy who was destined to die?
It'd be so wonderful… If time had just been a lie…
I hate how fate keeps kicking my gut, keeps reminding me of you every time I hug her…
Once upon a time I'd had little fantasies about her…
But now that I got her, I know I'll never truly have her…
Being with me must make it easier, I mean if she was attracted to your ugly mug…
I know time will pass when I look back at this
And feel the same way…
But something keeps nagging at the back of my mind
What's worse?
a life with out love
or a love with out meaning…
-(A.N.)
this is something I wrote for a contest, so I gave it all my heart... it's supposed to kind of hint towards emptiness, depression, but also anticipation towards a new future... that our loved one's will go on even when our own lives are gone.... I kept thinking of my own relatives that had past on... and I'm not sure if i could ever bare losing someone so close like George had to... to me it would be much to unbearable...
so even though he'll go on, his brother will always be someone he'll look to, remembering the good times, the bad, and also remebering his own time of mourning... and maybe regretting his depression, but moving on with life.