Paris Got Run Over By a Reindeer To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer." (Original song written by Randy Brooks, recorded by Elmo and Patsy.)

Rating: G
Codes: P, all
Date Posted: 15 December 1999
Summary: A silly Christmas filk.

I suppose technically this should have a "death of a major character" warning...but it's strictly tongue in cheek!

Characters and situations owned by Paramount/Viacom. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.


Paris Got Run Over By a Reindeer

by Shayney


Paris got run over by a reindeer
Piloting a shuttle Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Neelix, we believe.

He'd been drinking alien egg nog
Till there wasn't any more.
Then he couldn't pay his bar tab,
So he took off in that shuttle at warp four.

When we found him Christmas morning,
The whole shuttle was a wreck.
There were hoof prints on his forehead,
And suspicious piles of deer poop on the deck.

Paris got run over by a reindeer.
Piloting a shuttle Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Neelix, we believe.

Now our hearts all bleed for Torres,
She's so grieved to see Tom go.
See her chewing Chuckles' cheekbone,
And pursuing Harry Kim with mistletoe.

It's not Christmas without Paris.
All the crew is blue and sad.
And we just can't help but wonder:
What in heck will Captain Janeway tell his dad?

Paris got run over by a reindeer.
Piloting a shuttle Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Neelix, we believe.

Now the tree is in the mess hall
And the leola root pies (eyewww!)
And the blue and crimson candles,
That remind us all of poor Tom's bloodshot eyes.

We've warned all the Delta Quadrant.
Put your shields up all the way
Prime your weapons and keep scanning
For a pudgy, bearded alien in a sleigh.

Paris got run over by a reindeer.
Piloting a shuttle Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Neelix, we believe.



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