I. Driving Under the Influence Was Never So Dangerous
The noise was damn near unbearable. My Doctor sat in the pilot's seat, madly grinning as he erratically navigated the helicopter. I grabbed my briefcase and rummaged through the contents. Keeping a calm expression, I carefully selected the eye-dropper and inverted it above my face. Usually, I'd recommend no more than a drop to anyone. But when one is a Doctor of Gonzo Journalism, they're expected to go all out. No sense in holding back! Buy the ticket, take the ride. That's what I always said.
Two in each eye. That should be enough. My doctor whipped his head towards me.
"Hey! Don't hog it all!" he yelled over the racket, snatching the dropper from my hands and squeezing three drops immediately into one of his eyes. He blinked a few times, causing the helicopter to drift from side to side. He shook his head. "As your doctor, I advise you to get out the reds and the oranges. It seems like a fitting time for reds and oranges."
My thoughts weren't exactly on what other chemicals to add to my already loaded system. They were focused on the extremely small volume of the helicopter. I only hoped to God the Doc could get us on the ground before I completely lost it. I fumbled around in the case until I found two pill bottles. I removed two unmarked red pills and four marked orange ones. I split them between us, popped the red, broke the two oranges in half, and snorted them.
When I looked up, the bats were back. Those fuckers always haunted my trips. Big, black, trippy bats, all flying in strange, intricate patterns. I looked to my Doctor. He seemed fairly under control. Hell, I just hoped he didn't see those bats before we landed.
I looked out the window. Ocean everywhere. And a volcano, I think. Our destination. When we got closer, I realized there was a volcano inside of a volcano. Was that even possible?
"Man, those bats are creepy. As your doctor, I advise you to get out the buttons."
I sighed, and pulled a bag of peyote buttons from the briefcase o' felonies. The Doc reached in and grabbed two, shoving them in his mouth and swallowing them. I soon followed suit, as he dangerously lowered the helicopter into the top of the volcano. My muscles tensed, and everything felt slightly off. I grinned.
It's the top of the rollercoaster.
The story was only beginning.