Ten Years Gone

by Mathais

Ten years after a major event, Jianliang reflects on his life, both past and present. Primarily focuses on Jianliang/Takato.

1. A Reflection on Ten Years

Story Title: Ten Years Gone

Chapter Title: A Reflection on Ten Years

Author: Mathais

Rating: M

Fandom: Digimon Tamers

Warnings: Boys Love, Angst, Non-explicit mentions of platonic sex

Pairings: Jianliang/Takato, Ryo/Ruki, platonic!Ryo/Jianliang/Ruki, past!Jianliang/OFC

Summary: Ten years after a major event, Jianliang reflects on his life, both past and present.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and elements of Digimon Tamers; they're Bandai and Toei's.

Notes: So... I'm a huge Jianliang/Takato fan, but I've never written anything for it. I decided to rectify that with a one-shot, except it started growing and growing until it reached way too long. I'm splitting this story into three or so parts, and most of the second is already written. I hope you all enjoy it.

Translation Notes: Japanese people call Jianliang "Jenrya", a habit that I picked up for Taiki Matsuki's work. I'm using Cantonese for the Li's Chinese dialect, though their names are pronounced using Mandarin. Full translation notes are at the end of the chapter.

OoOoO

Jianliang lifted a glass of amber liquid into the air. The full moon shone through the clear crystal, disturbed only by the drink within. For a moment, he was entranced by the way light bounced off the glass and its condensation and by the shift and tinkle of ice tumbling against each other.

He normally wasn't one to drink at home. He'd grown out of that after college. But today was a special day, so he allowed himself to indulge.

Jianliang raised the glass to his lips and tilted his head back. The whiskey went down smooth. He savored the burn as it slithered down his throat and came to a rest in his belly as a warm weight. As he refilled his cup, all he could think was, "Thank you, Ruki." The second round quickly went the way of the first, and soon a third was in his hand.

This time, Jianliang leaned back in his seat, for once putting his feet on his desk. A pleasant sort of haziness settled over his senses. From experience, he knew that he was only barely tipsy, but he wanted to drink a little, not get drunk. It wouldn't hurt to take things slow, even if today made him feel maudlin.

Jianliang's eyes strayed to his calendar. It was pretty much one of the few non-digital items he had, each day crossed out with an X as a ritual passing of time. Today's date wasn't marked off in some spectacular way. There wasn't a giant red circle around it, no scribbled notes explaining its significance.

It didn't need them.

Jianliang knew the significance of this day. He knew it without needing to even see. He required no special reminder, not for this.

Delicately, he lifted the small desk calendar, thumb brushing over the unmarked square. "Ten years, huh," Jianliang sighed out. "It's really been ten years." He barely tasted the next sip of his whiskey, lost in his memories as he was.

Though the events of that day tended to creep up on him at unexpected times, he rarely let himself dwell on it. Only on the day itself did he allow himself to reflect, to revisit the past fully.

Taking another sip from his glass and letting the liquid courage flow through him, Jianliang opened his top desk drawer, which was usually locked against curious eyes.

An old photo, worn from age and repeated handling, sat at the top of the pile. Two boys mugged for the camera held by one of them, grinning gleefully upward, one boy's arm around the other.

Before he realized it, the third glass was gone as he stared at the picture. Jianliang carefully set his glass down on his desk, though his other hand still held the photo. He wasn't crying—time had done enough to curb that—but he did feel melancholy settle into his shoulders. The weight had never really left him, though he learned to deal with it, even if he couldn't quite shake it off.

Jianliang sighed. "Ten years," he repeated. Twelve, thirteen since that photo. "When did I get so old?" he murmured almost absently. Jianliang's finger traced over his young face, which sported a bright, unabashed happy grin that had been so rare for his introverted younger self. His heart didn't quite ache, but it did feel odd, thick, in his chest. And then his finger brushed over the other face, and this time his heart did ache.

Time may have dulled the pain, but that didn't mean it wasn't still present.

A name came up on his lips, but before it could pass, there was a soft, almost plaintive knock on his door. Jianliang almost jolted out of his seat in surprise. As he relocked the photo into the drawer, he called out, "Yes?"

"Baba, I had a nightmare," came the quiet, shaking voice.

Jianliang swiftly stood, but not before he grabbed a few breath mints and popped them into his mouth.

After all, it wouldn't do to meet your son with alcohol on your breath.

OoOoO

Jianliang texted Ruki the next day at work as he pored over his code. That was good whiskey, he wrote.

When do I ever go wrong with alcohol? came Ruki's reply, and Jianliang didn't need to imagine the smug tone.

Right out of college, jello shots, he reminded her.

That was Ryo's fault, she texted back almost instantly. If it weren't for his cheap-ass vodka, it wouldn't have ended up that way.

You were so lucky my parents had Jin'an that weekend.

Didn't want your kid to see you with the shits, huh?

No, was Jianliang's terse reply.

Ryo's free tonight, Ruki went on as she switched topics. Do you want to meet up at the usual place?

My mom said she'd take care of Jin'an tonight, so sure. Jianliang quickly glanced up and then back to his phone. Supervisor. Bouncing.

Jianliang quickly shoved his phone behind his computer monitor and went back to his code, fingers flying at frightening speed. The sound of a clicking lighter preceded the arrival of his supervisor, and though he was well aware of his presence, Jianliang's eyes did not stray from his screen.

He was startled anyway when his supervisor cleared his throat and stepped into his cubicle. Jianliang turned and said, "Yes, sir?"

"How are things going, Li?" Even having known him for over half his life, Mitsuo Yamaki, overseer of Hypnos, had never quite stopped being an intimidating figure for him, especially after he became his boss.

"They're right on track, sir," Jianliang said promptly.

"Good," Yamaki confirmed with another click of his lighter. Jianliang, though he continued to type, found that his hands were shaking. Having Yamaki scrutinize you, even if you were on friendly terms with the man, had a pressure Jianliang only found matched by the Digital World. "Is that a new photo of your son?"

Startled once more, Jianliang looked up. His eyes moved to the picture next to his screen, and then they softened.

"Yes, we took it a month ago." He reached over and picked up the frame, offering it wordlessly to Yamaki. "We went to the aquarium."

Yamaki mulled over the image as Jianliang turned back to his work before he lost his train of thought. With this algorithm, he needed to...

"It's cute," Yamaki said finally. Jianliang smiled and agreed. "Reika wants you to bring your son over again. Sayaka misses her 'Jin-nii-chan.'"

"I'll make sure to set it up," Jianliang said. With the click of his lighter, Yamaki walked off, and Jianliang barely held himself back from breathing a sigh of relief.

The two of them had known each other for years; he'd learned much of his trade from the older man when he wasn't being tutored by the Wild Bunch themselves. It was humbling to see the techniques and knowledge which spanned generations. The time they'd spent with him as well as their connections served him well, first getting him into an American college and then as a software engineer at Hypnos.

After so much time working under and with Yamaki, Jianliang could finally call them friends—off the clock, at least. On the clock, he was still one of the scariest men that Jianliang knew.

Time flew as Jianliang worked through the day. When he typed, he got into his zone, and everything seemed to melt away. It was only when he looked down at his clock that he realized it was almost time to leave to pick Jin'an up from school. Jianliang quickly committed his changes to the code and made sure that nothing broke. Yamaki had already left by this point, while his fellow coworkers were beginning to pack up as well.

Jianliang politely turned down the offer for drinks afterward, citing familial obligations. More than a few of his co-workers told him that their kids should meet up again. Jianliang nodded and said the appropriate things, but he was extremely conscious of time. If he wanted to be at the primary school in time, he needed to leave. Jianliang made his way to the train, where he released a sigh of relief. Through packed tightly in rush hour traffic, he was sheltered in a shield of anonymity that made him finally, finally able to relax a fraction.

The day after was always crap, if he wasn't hungover. For the entire train ride, Jianliang didn't think, just mindlessly surfed the internet on his phone. If he didn't think, he didn't feel, and he could push everything to the edge of his consciousness. He was like that up until he made it to the school, briefcase in hand. Jin'an hung around the playground after classes ended, so unlike his reclusive father.

Then again, at Jin'an's age, he didn't exactly have many friends.

He stepped into the school grounds, bowing to one of the attendant teachers. The teacher bowed back and directed him toward his son. For a moment, Jianliang just looked.

Jin'an ran around the field, laughing joyously in a game of tag. He was sort of tiny like a seven-year-old should be, but he raced around the playground with speed and fitness and boundless good cheer. His clothes were scuffed and dirty, but it looked like he wasn't being beat-up—rather, it was the normal grime and wear of outdoor playing. Warmth burst in his chest, as it often did, at the sight of his happy son.

It made him think that things were all right.

Jianliang may have spent a little too long off to the side, because Jin'an abruptly turned and yelped, "Baba!" The runner chasing him couldn't stop in time, sending both sprawling to the ground. Warmth bubbled in his chest once more, only this time due to mirth and repressed laughter.

Jianliang fought a smile as he strode over to his son. "Are you all right there, Jin'an?"

"Baba!" Jin'an groaned. "You didn't see that!"

"If you say so," Jianliang said, a grin finally breaking out of his face.

"Baba!" Jin'an whined. "Ack, Takeshi, get offa me!" He struggled to get up, but it was a futile effort as long as the other boy was on top of him.

"Nah, not just yet," Takeshi said with a grin. "Sorry Li-san, but there's something I have to take care of."

"Oh, go ahead," Jianliang said easily.

Takeshi's grin spanned his face as he lowered his hands, and Jin'an was soon squealing helplessly in laughter from Takeshi's fingers digging into his sides. Jianliang crouched low and watched his son chortle uninhibitedly, with Takeshi's smile growing ever wider and his other friends gathering around.

Yes, this made it all worth it.

Eventually, Jin'an pleaded for mercy, and Takeshi reluctantly gave it. Jin'an punched Takeshi as he stood up, but it was only a friendly jab with none of the strength Jianliang knew his son had.

Takeshi still flinched at the impact.

Jianliang smiled indulgently and brushed some dirt off of Jin'an's clothes. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yep!" Jin'an nodded cheerfully and ran off for his bag.

"Sorry about that, Li-san," Takeshi said with a bow, "but I couldn't resist."

"It's fine," Jianliang dismissed. "Thanks for being his friend, Takeshi-kun."

"It's no problem. Jin'an's fun to be around." Jianliang's eyebrows nearly shot up at the way the Mandarin pronunciation for his son's name with tones rolled off his tongue easily. Most still used the straightforward Japanese pronunciation. Before he could dwell on it, Jin'an appeared again.

"I'm ready!" Jin'an called as he bounced back. He quickly said his farewells to his friends, and the father-son pair was soon on the train.

"I'm heading to Yehyeh and Mahmah's place, aren't I?" Jin'an said quietly.

Jianliang dropped his hand to Jin'an's head and ruffled the messy hair, the exact same shade of blue as his own. "Yep. Your Yehyeh and Mahmah want to see you."

"I always go to their place today," Jin'an continued, though he didn't shake off the hand on his head. "If not with them, then either Daaiyeh or Guma. What's so special about today?"

Of course Jin'an would be curious. The only reason Jianliang didn't pinch his brow in frustration was because he didn't have enough hands. He instead ruffled his son's hair again and said, "I spend today with Ruki-san and Ryo-san."

Jin'an hummed thoughtfully. "Okay, Baba!"

Thankfully, he was still young enough that, even if he did begin to question, he was easily placated.

It may have been due to his time abroad, but Jianliang was more affectionate than the typical Japanese—or Chinese, for that matter—father. He shifted his briefcase to his other hand and ruffled his son's hair. Jin'an squirmed but took it like a man.

Jianliang questioned his son about his day. Jin'an cheerfully chatted about what he was reading and moaned about how easy math was. He mentioned an incident where someone commented on how much of a nerd he was, though Takeshi stood up for him.

"But I can take care of myself!" Jin'an said with a pumped fist. "I'm one of the fastest in the class!"

Jianliang outright smiled. "That you are," he said. Jin'an's skin was sun-kissed tone that he himself had only obtained as a teenager, and the boy had a hyperactive nature that he certainly hadn't inherited from him. It was in the way he bounced and moved that he found Michelle, his dear Michelle, again. "I was there for your Sports Day, remember?"

Jin'an grinned and hugged him. "I'm glad you made it! Anyway, Takeshi yelled at him until he stopped, so I gave him some of my snacks at lunch!"

"Good for you," Jianliang praised. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to make anything special for today."

"Leftovers are great!" His son proclaimed. "Most of my friends' dads can't cook as well as you can!"

"Biased, huh?" teased Jianliang, but it warmed his heart anyway.

"I like your cooking!" Jin'an insisted. Jianliang had to hold back chuckles when Jin'an's nose twitched and he amended, "Even if you make me eat icky carrots."

"Carrots are good for you," Jianliang scolded playfully. "You need to eat them."

"But they're disgusting," Jin'an whined, "Just... not even you can make them taste good!"

"They're good for you," Jianliang rebuked, relishing in the familiar argument. The two of them bickered the entire way until they were at his parents' apartment.

Though he'd long since given back his key when he moved out, even ringing the doorbell felt like coming home in some small way. This apartment was the one in which he'd spent eighteen years of his life. And though it was a place where, as a kid, he'd felt stifled between his overbearing older siblings and his demanding younger one, time and distance had done much to dispel the lingering resentment. Now, Jianliang wanted to share all of this with his son.

"Jianliang!" his mom exclaimed as she opened the door. She swept him into a hug before dropping a head to Jin'an's head and ruffling his hair. "Hello, Jin'an." She quickly migrated from ruffling his hair to pinching his cheeks.

"Mahmah," Jin'an whined. "I saw you last week!"

"I know," she allowed, "but you're just so cute!" With one last tug, she released him and let them in.

"Guys aren't cure!" Jin'an grumbled, rubbing his cheek. "We're manly!"

"Maybe when you're a little older," his mom replied. "Right now, you're just a boy and a cute one at that."

A fond smile crossed Jianliang's face. "Listen to your Mahmah, Jin'an. It'll save you a lot of trouble in the long run."

His mom playfully slapped him on the shoulder. "That's right. Now, come in."

Jin'an toed off his shoes and raced in, though Jianliang hovered at the entrance. He scoped the familiar landscape, the place where he'd spent much of his life, and his heart swelled again. Jianliang watched his son putter around much like he used to, and his smile turned a bit melancholy.

This place was his safe haven... but it was part of his past.

"I'm heading out to meet Ruki and Ryo," Jianliang murmured into his mother's ears.

Her smile turned sad. "Are you all right, Jianliang? It's been ten years..."

"It's fine, Mom. Say hi to Dad for me," he said. His mom's hand lingered on his shoulder briefly before releasing him with a pat. Jianliang took it as his cue to call out, "Jin'an, I'm heading out! Be good for your grandparents!"

"I will, Baba!" Jin'an chirped. "Bye! Say hi to Ruki-san and Ryo-san for me! Tell them to say hi to Ken too!"

"Will do, son!" Jianliang called and then turned to his mom to kiss her on the cheek. "I'll see you later, mom."

"Be safe," she said and hugged him tightly.

Jianliang turned and headed out. Normally, he was fine with being at his childhood home. It was awesome. He could simply enjoy the warmth of being with his family.

But not today... not these days. These days, this time—they were when the past had more of a hold over him than he liked, where he felt younger than he ever had before. He was twenty-eight for gods' sake.

And he still felt as lost as he had when he was eighteen.

Jianliang made it to the bar and discovered that he was the first there. One of the servers greeted him as he entered and seated him at his usual table.

"Hi, Li. The usual?"

"Hey, Himi," Jianliang responded. "Erm, actually..."

"It's January, isn't it?" one of the other servers said. His greeter's eyes widened in acknowledgement at his slip. "I'll take care of this, Tomoki."

"Sorry, Takuya."

With a small smile, Takuya turned back to Jianliang. "Shōchū and yakitori to start?"

"Sounds wonderful," Jianliang said with a sigh as he loosened his tie. He wiped his hands with a warmed towel and sat back at the low table, feeling a bit of tension ease from his shoulders. The heavy taste of alcohol on his tongue, when he was served, felt wonderful. He was well on his way through his second glass when Ruki and Ryo stepped in, and Takuya dropped some yakitori down.

"Hey Makino, Akiyama. The usual?"

"Just keep the food and drink coming," said Ruki as she seated herself comfortably, grabbing the shōchū from Jianliang and pouring herself a generous glass. Ryo smiled at Takuya and tore into some grilled chicken.

Once Jianliang finished his second glass and Ruki, her first, Ryo spoke. "How's things going, Jian?"

"Same old, same old." He cracked his neck and grabbed some food for himself. "Yamaki's got me jumping through hoops."

"Like that's any different than usual," Ruki snorted.

"How about you, Ms. Magazine Editor?" Jianliang gently teased. "I saw your subscribers go up."

"Business is business," dismissed Ruki. "Even in Japan, physical copies are still on the decline." She slammed back some more shōchū and reached for the food as well.

"How's this semester's class?" Jianliang tilted his head toward Ryo.

"Poor little script kiddies who think they know everything," tutted Ryo. "But it's all right. There's some people with talent in there." He gave a sharp grin with that edge of feralness that reminded him of almost twenty years ago now. "It'll be fun whipping them into shape." Ryo was a professor of cybersecurity at one of Tokyo's universities. Jianliang was privately impressed that someone who'd always had a touch of the wild in him had gotten into academia.

Not as surprising as Ruki settling down for her own magazine, focused on a particular fashion demographic that had sprung up during their adulthood, but then again, Ruki had always blazed her own trail.

And definitely not as surprising as the fact that both of them had settled down together, keeping their original surnames for professional reasons. They'd had a low-key affair despite Ruki's mom's insistence, and no matter how much Jianliang plied them with alcohol and favors and numerous other things, neither would reveal who—if either—changed their surnames.

The night steadily went on as such, with Jianliang and Ruki badgering Ryo into drinking more. Shōchū and sake flowed freely, and they switched to beer when they got tired of both. They feasted on bar food, demolishing plate after plate as if they were back in college. The three of them made small talk about their lives, Jianliang all but gushing over Jin'an as his head fuzzed, while Ruki's ironclad hold over her lips loosened and she smiled over some of the events she related. Ryo related anecdotes on workplace life, and it tried to be a pleasant evening all around.

But Ruki never took her eye off of the goal, and when she sat her bottle of sake down and finished off the skewer in her other hand, she looked straight at Jianliang and asked, "How are you holding up?"

Jianliang did her the favor of not bullshitting around, especially after alcohol loosened his tongue. "Better than previous years."

"Ten years without contact," Ryo murmured. "I'm not quite sure how you managed that."

"I pretended I was still abroad when the wedding invitations were sent out." Jianliang shrugged and took a swig of his beer. "I'd fallen out of contact and was so busy with Jin'an that it was easy enough."

"How'd you get Terriermon to keep quiet?" Ruki asked. "According to Renamon, he's as much of a loudmouth as ever."

Jianliang laughed around a mouthful of beer. "Terriermon's craftier than that. He talks about me a lot, but he doesn't mention that I work at Hypnos at all."

"...and Renamon keeps her silence," Ruki realized.

"And Cyberdramon could care less," Ryo said.

"Thus, none of the other Digimon have anything to tell their Tamers. Yamaki makes sure never to put me on missions with anyone but you two, and the others think pressing demands have me leave as soon as I return," Jianliang finished with relish.

"The brat is a pressing demand," Ruki acknowledged. Jianliang didn't take offense at Ruki's term of endearment for his son, as it was part of Ruki's charm.

"You should bring him over again sometime," Ryo said, raising his glass. Jianliang scrambled to refill his own and passed one off to Ruki.

"Jin'an says hi, and he says the same to Ken." Jianliang shrugged. "To our kids!"

"To our kids!" Ruki didn't quite cheer, but it was a close thing. "Kanpai!"

"Kanpai!" the three of them shouted, clinking glasses.

The toast quickly faded into more food, and Jianliang really started feeling it this time around. He had a pretty damn high alcohol tolerance, if he did say so himself, but they were steadily drinking all night and Jianliang wasn't alcoholic enough to retain the height of it. And so he was stumbling along on Ryo's shoulder as they made their way to Ruki and Ryo's house.

Jianliang still marveled at the fact that they lived in an actual house. He'd lived in apartments all his life due to his desire to stay in Tokyo, and his stint in America had been dorms until he had to take care of Jin'an and moved in with Michelle's parents. Their house was warm and magical and at times Jianliang missed it with all his heart.

Ruki and Ryo's was about that big; it had two floors and a large sitting room where Ryo had an amazing TV setup, along with a bathroom, a kitchen, and a study where Ruki worked while not in office and Ryo had his computer. The second floor had three bedrooms, one for Ryo and Ruki themselves, one for their son Ken, and one for guests.

Guests which included himself and Jin'an at times.

Ryo's shoulder was strong underneath him as Jianliang tried to maneuver them both into the spare bedroom. He turned to Ruki and asked, "Going to join us?"

"I'm tucking in early tonight. Have fun, boys." Ruki waggled her fingers at them. Ryo blew her a kiss, at which Ruki raised an eyebrow before disappearing into the master bath. Jianliang envied her composure, even as he fumbled with the door and dragged Ryo into the room.

Ryo reached for the lights before hesitating. "Jian, do you want the lights—"

"On's fine," Jianliang smiled. "I want to see you."

As Ryo helped him out of his suit, trailing kisses down his neck the entire time, Jianliang reflected on what started this whole arrangement.

The first time they had this meet up, Jianliang was damn near inconsolable. Ruki stole some of her mom's booze, and they drank through the night at Ruki's apartment. Ryo and Jianliang stumbled back to the former's place afterward, and in the haze of alcohol and lust, proceeded to screw each other senseless.

In the cold light of the morning after, Jianliang had been apologetic, but Ryo understood. Originally, it had started as two friends releasing pressure with each other, and it didn't quite stop when Ryo and Ruki got together.

Though Jianliang was pretty far on the gay scale, having Ruki join in at times was fun.

Jianliang craved the primal understanding he got from Ryo during these times. From the kisses to the actual deed, it all affirmed that Ryo wouldn't leave him. Despite the passion that went to the actual deed, it remained platonic, and it was the same for when Ruki joined in.

Jianliang loved them, but not in the way that they loved each other.

They slept with each other off and on, but around this time, Jianliang needed that affirmation more than ever, and so that one chance night turned into one of the few things that had kept Jianliang sane and stable these past ten years.

And, as his teeth nipped at Ryo's neck and his hands nearly tore the buttons off of Ryo's shirt, Jianliang wouldn't give this up for anything.

OoOoO

Jianliang woke up sore but sated. He trailed a hand down Ryo's strong frame before careful extricating himself from Ryo's arms. For someone who'd spent nearly a year in the Digital World by himself, Ryo was pretty grabby during the night.

Actually, maybe it was because of that year. Or more.

There were huge portions of Ryo's past that he remained mum about, anyway. Sure, he covered it in bravado and confidence, but there were some very deep scars inside of him, deeper than anything Jianliang had received in his life. Their nights together were mutual after all; Ryo (and Ruki, for that matter) didn't believe in pity sex. He wouldn't do it unless they all benefited.

So this arrangement would continue for as long as they all needed it.

Jianliang padded over to the closet, which contained a few of his clothes for just this type of occasion. His suit was currently in a corner somewhere; normally, they'd be a little more careful, but Jianliang had desperately needed Ryo's skin on his last night. He picked out some casual wear and a towel; without Ken wandering the house, he didn't mind padding out to the bathroom stark naked, with the fading remnants of a long, satisfying night of sex marking his skin.

Jianliang stepped out of the room just as Ruki was retreating back to her study with a huge mug of coffee. Ruki raised an eyebrow, her eyes taking in every inch of Jianliang's uncovered body.

Jianliang knew what she saw. Raising Jin'an by himself was hard, yes, but it was no excuse to get lazy. Mornings or evenings, Jianliang found it in himself to run (with Jin'an in the habit now too), and he kept a regular workout schedule, so he had an athletic body tight with muscle. The way Ruki's eyes raked his form was proof of how he kept himself.

Feeling a bit playful, he cocked his hips and asked, "Like what you see?"

Ruki snorted, but her twitching lips betrayed her. "If I didn't know you were gay before," she murmured before shaking her head. "Have fun last night?"

"Lots," Jianliang said with a small smile. "Wish you could've joined us."

"I had to take care of some things this morning," dismissed Ruki. "I hope you didn't leave my husband too tired," she ribbed. "I swore I could hear you through the night."

"You should've come in then," Jianliang reiterated.

"I'd rather have my dreams."

Jianliang waggled his eyebrows in response, and Ruki laughed, bright and clear for once, as he swaggered toward the bathroom. Ruki slapped his shoulder when he passed. Jianliang knew she was hiding a smile in her cup, and he grinned to himself when he entered the bathroom.

The day after never had any regrets. It washed away all of his pain for the moment, and Jianliang felt that he was more stable afterward. Less likely to do something stupid, and more accepting of the future.

Being with Ryo and Ruki reminded him of the fact that the past was the past, and that there was still the future for change.

The warmth and support made him happier, and, to be blunt, the sex's afterglow lasted well into the next day. So Jianliang hummed to himself as he took his shower and cleaned himself thoroughly. He nearly floated down the stairs to the kitchen, where he began whipping up breakfast for himself, Ryo, and Ruki.

Jianliang texted his son as he went around making pancakes, because he knew that Ryo and Ruki enjoyed them. Ruki specialized in the traditional Japanese dishes her grandmother lovingly taught her, while Ryo wasn't all that good at breakfast. By the time he was done, Ruki had been tempted out of her study by the smell, and Ryo just finished his shower, trailing downstairs in a pair of sweatpants. Ruki gave her husband the same eyes she'd given him; Ryo unabashedly grinned and made eyes at her, which Ruki ribbed him for.

The three of them enjoyed their breakfast together in relative silence; they'd spoken most of what they had wanted to say last night. When the meal was done, Ryo rose and headed to the kitchen to do the dishes, while Ruki nursed another mug of coffee.

"Give it to me straight, Jian," Ruki said. "You sure you're doing all right?"

"It's been ten years," Jianliang reminded her. "I have Jin'an now, and I have you guys, and I have other friends." His lips spread into a small but genuine smile. "I have it so good right now."

Though Ruki would probably deny it later, she returned his smile. "Good."

"Are we still on for next week? Jin'an wants to see Ken."

Ruki snorted. "Ken's always going, 'When's Jin-nii-chan coming back over?'"

"When Jin'an's a little older, I'll think about letting him head over here by himself," Jianliang said.

The conversation devolved into their kids once again, until Ruki had to go back to work, Ryo had papers to go over, and Jianliang had to go pick up his son. He gave Ryo a hug and bumped fists with Ruki on the way out.

The past was slotted into the past once more, and Jianliang was content. The bliss wouldn't last, he knew, but it became easier and easier the longer it went.

Time really did heal all wounds, Jianliang mused.

He knew this best when he got back to his parents' place and his son practically leapt into his arms. "Baba!" Jin'an cheered. "You're back!"

Jianliang laughed as he caught his flying son, swinging him around playfully. "Nice to see you too, Jin'an. Were you good for your grandparents?"

"I was! I swear I was!"

Jianliang turned to his parents with a grin in his eyes. "Mom, dad, what do you two think?"

His dad was carefully looking away, no doubt because of the smile breaking through his poker face, while his mom looked solemn as she said, "I don't know. He is a little ball of energy. He didn't want to go to sleep last night."

"Mahmah!" Jin'an whined, eyes widening in an all-consuming pout. "I was good yesterday, you know that! I even helped you with the dishes!"

Finally unable to take it anymore, his dad burst out laughing, just as his mom dissolved into a warm smile. "I know, Jin'an, I know. I'm just teasing you!"

Jin'an's pout deepened, but Jianliang ran his hand over his son's head, calming him down.

"Are you going to stay a bit, Jianliang?" his father asked.

Jianliang shook his head in response. "No, Jin'an and I are going to the zoo together, aren't we?"

"The zoo!" Jin'an cheered in confirmation. "I want to see the bears!"

"Do you want to come?" Jianliang asked.

"No," his mom said with a smile. "You and Jin'an should have some father-son time together!"

"Un!" Jin'an happily agreed.

Jianliang took in Jin'an's happy smile and grinned to himself. That grin remained on his face as he took Jin'an to the zoo, where his son bounced around the entirety of the place, taking in the sights. No matter how many times they came, Jin'an loved, loved, absolutely loved the place. Jianliang trailed after him with the amused affection of a father, delighting in the way that his son chattered about this and that, particularly the bears.

Jin'an loved the bears, mimicking their movements whenever he saw them. Jianliang remembered the first time he brought Jin'an here and watched his eyes light up at his first look at them.

On their way out, Jianliang picked up a stuffed bear for Jin'an. Though he protested that he was too old for them, Jin'an still clutched it tightly as he chattered happily about the zoo. Jianliang hid a small smile as the two walked hand-in-hand to the train station.

Yeah, Jianliang thought they'd be all right. As long as he had Jin'an, everything would be perfect.

OoOoO

Translation Notes:

Cantonese:

My Use (Characters): Yale Romanization: Translation

Baba (爸爸): Bābā: Father (informal)

Yehyeh (爺爺): Yèhyèh: Paternal grandfather (informal)

Mahmah (嫲嫲): Màhmàh: Paternal grandmother (informal)

Daaiyeh (大爺): Daaihyèh: Paternal older uncle (informal)

Guma (姑媽): Gūmā: Paternal older aunt