Author's Notes: First of all, I wrote this to reflect my opinions on the casting and nearly all goings-on regarding the Last Airbender movie. If I'm going to rant, might as well have fun doing it. I plan this to be a story of how the actions in our world in relation to the upcoming movie are affecting the characters of the Avatar world. It takes place after the Firebending Masters episode and before the Boiling Rock. The plot is subject to change as updates on the movie come up but I do have a general plot in mind, climaxing at around one year from now when the movie is finally released. The ending will be determined by the quality of the movie.
This piece was not written with the intent to offend anyone. It is not meant to be an attack on M. Night Shyamalan or Pete Vonder Haar or the Greatness that is BRYKE or anyone else. It is meant only to be a parody. But still, until the movie comes out, I'm still willing to give them a chance. Honestly, I really, really want M. Night to knock us all dead. I want him to knock us all dead wrong about our (currently) justified paranoia.
I know that the filming is already done and they are now in the post-production work, so any changes to the cast are now moot point. I've seen my fair share of both good and bad tidbits regarding the cast and I am willing for now, to give them the benefit of the doubt. This was written for humorous purposes. So just try to keep an open mind.
Also I know the title is an incredibly lame pun on Sokka's "midnight sun madness" comment but if anyone can think up of a better title that, please do tell me and I will credit you.
Lastly, I want to say that everything I write has a reason. This chapter is filled with hidden meanings, in-jokes and references. Try to figure them out and feel free to interpret them.
Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender nor do I claim ownership over any of the personalities mentioned in this fic. As a matter of fact, I own nothing.
Chapter 1: Warning
"If Shyamalan is going to use his kids as a focus group for future projects, maybe he should start making movies for Nickelodeon already and stop wasting our time"
-------Pete Vonder Haar of Film Threat on "Lady in the Water"
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All was quiet at the Western Air Temple and even the liveliest of warriors were sound asleep, nestled away in the comfort of their own respective sleeping bags. The Fire Nation Prince mumbled to himself as his thoughts turned to a certain Waterbender whom he'd inexplicably found rather attractive when making death threats. Said Waterbender was now contemplating the possibility of secretly having a "thing" with Haru. On the other hand, the Waterbender's brother, overprotective as ever, was on the verge of strangling his already lifeless excuse for a pillow, which his paranoid imaginings had misconstrued as a certain someone he'd found snuggled away in his sister's sleeping bag, visibly irritated sister in tow. The blind Earthbender's dreams were different from everyone else's as she didn't see the world as they did, nor were her dreams as romanticized as theirs. Instead, she envisioned facing down the Fire Lord, taking down his massive ego a peg or three. Using her incredible earthbending, she toyed with the Fire Lord the way The Duke played with a hackey sack.
But all was not well with the inhabitants of the Air Temple. The flights of fancy of the Avatar's friends were of no actual concern now. Instead of being fortunate enough to have dreams filled with hormonal trivialities, the Avatar's dreams dealt with a far more serious matter. As the others blithely slumbered, lost in their fantasies, the lone Airbender tossed and turned in his sheets, plagued by nightmares the likes of which he had never seen before.
"So how do you guys feel about a movie being made about your show?"
"We're really excited. Bryan and I have been working on the story and the series for about five years now, so to see it go kind of go into this new realm of live action and the level of detail and time involved… it's really exciting."
"Aaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhh!!!!!"
A bloodcurdling scream resonated throughout the entire temple. Whatever dreams the others were having at the moment were completely forgotten and replaced by the sudden fear that they were under attack or that something equally terrible had happened. However, before anyone could react, Aang got up and sped over to Zuko's disgruntled form.
"Zuko! Wake up! You have to take your clothes off!" The Avatar began tugging on the Prince's crimson sleepwear.
"Wait… whh… what?" Zuko rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes upon hearing Aang's ridiculous request.
"Hurry! We have to get rid of everything red! It's the bad color! It attracts the Evil!" As he said this, Aang wasted no time in setting fire to Zuko's clothes.
The Prince just stared at the hysterical Airbender and calmly used his own firebending to extinguish the flames. Ever since he had joined the Avatar and his ragtag bunch of misfits, Zuko had been constantly exposed to this sort of nonsensical mayhem. It was now just a normal part of being a member of the group.
"I'll go make you some tea." Zuko said nonchalantly. "Maybe it will help calm you down." With that, the Firebender stood up and walked over to the camp's makeshift kitchen to brew some tea.
As Zuko left the others, who were now crowded around the Avatar, Katara sat down beside Aang with her typical "worried mother" look etched on her face. "What's wrong, Aang? Is it the nightmares again?" Katara asked, placing her hand on Aang's shoulder for comfort.
"Katara, I just had the most terrible vision!" said an exasperated Aang. "There were people screaming and trying to kill themselves and plants that wanted to kill them too and a girl named "Story" and a Great Eatlon and there were these strange markings on fields of corn and a creepy boar-wolf monster that lived in the woods and another that lived in the grass and the Cabbage Merchant was the mastermind behind the war and Momo was a flying peach and I think I see dead people!"
"Whoa, whoa whoa! Hold your ostrich-horses, Twinkletoes!" Toph exclaimed as she used her earthbending to push down the restless Airbender. "It's not yet the end of the world and the Comet's not coming for weeks. What's gotten you all caught up in a snake-spider's web?"
"Toph's right, Aang." Katara continued. "It's not like we're in any immediate danger. Just take a deep breath and tell us what happened."
"But this wasn't like my nightmares before! This is even bigger than that! Bigger than Ozai even! I saw the Gods, themselves! Both of them!"
"Wait, hold on! The Gods?" Sokka interrupted. "What Gods?"
"They're the Creators of our World, Sokka. The monks used to say that in beginningless time, They breathed life into the Void and fashioned everything… out of nothing."
"So what? You expect me to believe that these 'Gods' just zapped us into existence and… mfsdhfcv"
Aang immediately clapped his hand on Sokka's mouth. "Sshhh! Sokka, you don't ever speak badly about the Gods! Besides, this is serious, you guys!"
"Alright already, Twinkletoes, just spill already! We're listening." Toph earthbended a chair out of rock and sat down cross-legged.
"In my vision, I was at the top of Mt. Para when I saw the Gods speaking to a man, only he wasn't just any man. They called him "The Vessel" and he was talking about re-creating the World; our World! Do you guys realize what this means?
Aang waved his hands for emphasis.
"It'll be as if everything we've ever done… all that we've ever lived for… all that we are… would just suddenly vanish, like none of it ever existed. He was talking about Twisting the very fabric of reality! We'll just all… cease to be! And I don't even normally use those words!" Aang was panting now, trying to catch his breath.
The Avatar's companions stared at Aang as though he had just sprouted a second head. Oddly enough, it was Haru who broke the silence.
"Maybe I should just go help Teo and The Duke get back to sleep." The male Earthbender had been the only one to notice the pair either stifling a yawn or nodding off to sleep. Either way, they weren't really paying attention to anything Aang was saying.
As the trio shuffled off to their sleeping bags, Sokka whispered to the rest of the Gaang. "You know, if Haru keeps doing hanging out with those two like that, pretty soon he might just suddenly lose his mustache and grown down to their age."
"Ugh! Sokka!" Katara slapped the backside of her brother's head. "Haru's just trying to be helpful."
Aang and Toph burst into laughter while watching the Water Tribe siblings' antics. But in time, their laughter abated and Aang decided to continue explaining his dream.
"I tried to get closer to the Vessel to listen in more to the conversation. But when I got near, I felt this prickly sensation all over me, like all there were all these pins and needles stabbing my chest. I couldn't breathe so I tried to get away. When I turned around, I saw Ships…
"There were hundreds… thousands of Ships on an endless ocean. They were all different kinds of Ships. But they were all united under one banner, with their cannons ready to fire. I could see that everyone on board was willing to fight to the end for what they believed in. They didn't want the Vessel to remake the World and if he did, they wanted him to make it under their terms. Then all of a sudden, the Ships just opened fire on the mountain. I screamed and then I woke up and that was it."
A stunned silence enveloped the Avatar's companions. The imaginary second head had just transformed into a 400-foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings, complete with a crazy smiling Azula face. But it wasn't just Aang's inane rambling that had left his friends stupefied. The resident Firebender had just returned, bearing a tray of steaming teacups in hand.
It was Sokka who took it upon himself to point out a strange, previously unnoticed growth atop the Prince's normally raven-colored locks.
"Zuko, is it just me or is your hair turning blonde?"
"…"