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If Dr. Seuss Wrote Trek Fanfic
by Shayney
Harry, tell me, are you gay?
I like you, Tom, but not that way.
Sorry, but I am not gay.
Would you do me here or there?
I would not do you here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.
I like you, Tom, but not that way.
Sorry, but I am not gay.
Would you do me in a chute?
Did you like me as a newt?
I would not do you in a chute.
I would not do it with a newt.
I would not do you here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.
I like you, Tom, but not that way.
Sorry, but I am not gay.
How about in a Borg cube?
Or inside a Jeffries tube?
Not in a cube.
Not in a tube.
Not in a chute.
Not with a newt.
I would not do you here or there.
I would not do you anywhere.
I like you, Tom, but not that way.
Sorry, but I am not gay.
Would you? Could you?
In the Flyer?
Do me! Do me!
Take me higher.
I would not, could not, in the Flyer.
You may like it.
You will see.
You may like it in a tree!
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in the Flyer! You let me be.
I will not do you in a cube.
I will not do you in a tube.
I will not do you in a chute.
I will not do it with a newt.
I will not do you here or there.
I will not do you anywhere.
I like you, Tom, but not that way.
Sorry, but I am not gay.
A car! A car!
A car! A car!
Could you, would you, in my car?
Not in your car! Not in a tree!
Not in the Flyer! Tom! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a cube.
I could not, would not, in a tube.
I will not do it with a newt.
I will not do you in a chute.
I will not do you here or there.
I will not do you anywhere.
I like you, Tom, but not that way.
Sorry, but I am not gay.
Say!
In the dark? Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not, in the dark.
How about in Sandrine's bar?
I would not, could not, in a bar.
Not in the dark. Not in your car.
Not on the Flyer. Not in a tree.
I do not want you, Tom, you see.
Not in a cube. Not in a chute.
Not in a tube. Not with a newt.
I will not do you here or there.
I will not do you anywhere!
You're sure you don't like me that way?
Sorry, Tom. I am not gay.
Could you, would you, in your sleep?
I would not, could not, in my sleep.
Would you, could you, with a sheep?
I could not, would not, with a sheep!!!
I will not, will not, in my sleep.
I will not do you in a bar.
I will not do you in your car.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not on the Flyer! You let me be!
I will not do you in a cube.
Nor inside a Jeffries tube.
I will not do you in a chute.
I will not do it with a newt.
I will not do you here or there.
I will not do you ANYWHERE!
I like you, Tom, but not that way.
Sorry, but I am not gay.
You do not like it.
So you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.
Tom!
If you will let me be, I will try it.
You will see.
...........
Hey!
Tom, I do like you this way!
I do! I like it! I am gay!
And I would do you in my sleep.
(You can forget about the sheep.)
And I would do you in your car.
And in the dark. And in a bar.
And on the Flyer. And in a tree.
You are so good, so good, you see!
So I would do you in a cube.
And inside a Jeffries tube.
And I would do you in a chute.
And even if you were a newt.
And I will do you here and there.
Hey! I will do you ANYWHERE!
I do so like doing you this way!
Thank you! Thank you, Tom, I say.
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