It was a dark and stormy knight. In an obscure corner of «Floor 36», a black-haired youth regarded his opponent with a weary eye.
"Will this… be my last…" the boy gasped as he struggled to stand up, but the ominous warrior made no response except to stride closer to the fallen form.
Pitch black metal shielded every square inch of its body, so dark as to seem to suck the light out of the surrounding glade and cast it into shadow, despite the toasty afternoon sun shining persistently from above. Occasionally, a visor would pull back to reveal a battle-scarred face sporting a very, very angry visage. Truly, this was a frightening foe to behold.
Or at least, it was frightening to behold until it was beheaded with one fell swoop of a blade, bursting into shards of glass polygons. After all, there was no doubt of the outcome of an encounter between a simple Mook of a «Floor 34» dungeon and a Level 82 "Clearer", even if said Clearer was exhausted from farming these mobs over the past day and a half. Kirito really wanted that elusive drop.
It was not until this thousandth-or-so kill that the stubborn boy was finally graced with «Darkshine Alloy» in his inventory. Which was almost immediately discarded when a shaky finger nearly pressed the «Waste» button by accident.
"Yes… FINALLY!" Kirito slumped to the ground in an undignified heap, not for the first time, but certainly for the last of this RNGdamned hunt. He knew he should probably haul himself to a bed somewhere lest he awaken with a very painful crick in his neck, but his muscles refused to entertain any thoughts of moving. In fact, his brain didn't seem capable of thought anymore either.
Hours later, as the solo player snoozed peacefully on the grassy floor of the «Helgen Forest Ruins», a small low-level party would chance upon the curious spectacle of what appeared to be a squad of «Fallen Knights» taking turns skewering a pale derrière jutting provocatively up from the ground. Silica never left her room for an entire week thereafter.
"Black, please!"
"Ugh, what a depressing color. Don't you think this emerald green is already-"
"Black."
"… hmph! Fine, have it your way! Don't come crying to me when everyone laughs at you later." And with that, the surly tailor retreated into the back room with a «Darkshine Alloy» and «Draken Leggings» in hand.
Kirito tapped his foot impatiently from his position against the counter. Normally he would have gone to the more trusted tailor that he usually visited for his combat clothing, but the current emergency forced him to stay on «Floor 34». He recalled waking up earlier in the day with an important piece of his costume apparently having shattered from durability loss due to the… to the…
His face flushed a beet red. No. Argo was not hearing about this. Ever.
Luckily, he had recently picked up the impressive «Draken Leggings» from «Floor 56», which if upgraded with care would likely last him another ten floors. He would have long since equipped it already if not for its abominable hue. In fact, finding a respectable-looking black dye was the entire reason that Kirito had wasted over two days in the «Helgen Forest Ruins» looking for «Darkshine Alloy». In the hands of even a novice tailor, the material could be transformed into a «Dusk Dye» that could then be applied to his «Draken Leggings» to remedy its current affliction. In the meantime, Kirito was stuck having to protect his decency with some shameful tan leggings that he couldn't recall having picked up before. Of course, he would remain unaware that his decency had already been lost several hours ago.
The back door swung open as the tailor stepped out, tossing the «Draken Leggings» unceremoniously into a trade window.
"There! Now give me the Col and leave! I got lots of orders backed up, you know! … stupid kids these days, no sense of fashion, gonna get hit by a car at night sure enough…" the tailor grumbled irritably as the trade was completed. A few moments later, Kirito strolled happily out of the shop sporting a shiny new pair of pants. Figuratively speaking.
"Okay! It's been two days, so hopefully I'm not too late for the «Floor Boss»…" Kirito swiped his menu open and deftly flicked his way towards his «Inbox». "Hmm… nope. Looks like it hasn't been found yet. Argo would have messaged me if there was a strategy meeting."
His eyes trailed downwards towards the «Skills» section. "Speaking of which…" Kirito tapped the panel and watched as it expanded into his «Skill List». "I wonder how far I got with… that skill…"
He had discovered that skill sitting in his «Skill List» almost half a year ago, but he still hadn't figured out how to use it. The only «Sub-Skill» available at the beginning was passive and didn't appear to benefit him in any way. He was a solo player, after all. And yet, rather than tossing it in favor of «Extended Weight Limit» as he had originally intended to assign to his 8th skill slot back when he reached «Level 50», he couldn't shake the feeling that it might be important to hang on to this particular skill. Even now, there still wasn't even a whisper of a rumor about it yet. And if there was one thing that Kirito learned about RPGs, it was that you should never throw away rare, mysterious items. Or skills in this case.
Luckily due to the nature of the passive «Sub-Skill», the skill pretty much gained proficiency of its own accord whenever he was in town. Perhaps a new «Sub-Skill» might have been unlocked since he last checked? Kirito swiped through his «Skill List» until his fingers settled on the mysterious entry.
«Duel-Wielding: 283/1000»
«Active Skills: 0»
«Passive Skills: 1»
"Damn," he muttered. "Still nothing new?" Kirito dismissed his menu with a sigh and turned to walk down the street. If he recalled correctly, there was a restaurant that served a dish that was not unlike miso soup in flavor, though it was recommended not to look directly at the dish due to its rather… unappetizing appearance. In other words, it was the perfect lunch over which he could re-read the skill description for the umpteenth time. Hopefully he would find a clue there to help him figure out what it could be used for. Because clearly he hadn't read it enough.
With a practiced motion, the black-clad swordsman swiped away a green-bordered pop-up message for the 284th time as he stepped into the «Cadaverous Cuisine».
«Duel-Wielding»
«In a melee, one's chances of survival depend less on skill and far more on endurance and luck. A peerless fencer may find himself confident of victory, dominating his adversary on the field, only to stumble against an unaware swordsman behind him and subsequently find himself beheaded with a poorly-aimed strike that should never have connected. But a true master of the art of Duel-Wielding will never allow himself such unfavorable conditions. His control of the battlefield will insure his survival and ensure that his finesse can be applied to its full extent on unworthy foes»
«Duel Awareness»
«Passive Skill»
«Allows the Wielder to become aware of duels in the vicinity and to perceive duels in greater detail. As the Wielder becomes more proficient in the Duel-Wielding Skill, parameters such as the damage dealt by the most recent strike are revealed to the Wielder whilst in a duel if so desired. These parameters can be toggled in the Duel Settings window»
"Kirito! Catch him when he falls!" A bright orange blur shot past and dashed up the steps.
"R-right!" Kirito answered as he realized Asuna's intent. The «Player» currently hanging from the window by the treacherous rope was too high to assist from the ground, so she was applying her «Agility» to the max to reach him in time from inside the building.
But Kirito could see his eyes. The player's eyes, though covered in shadow by a heavy visor, were just visible enough for Kirito to perceive as they tracked towards the upper left corner. The corner in which the «Health Bar» was shown. The «Player's» pupils pulsed in fear. Asuna won't make it in time! Kirito realized fearfully.
With a final, terrified gasp, the «Player» shattered into a kaleidoscope of polygons before Kirito's horrified eyes.
How was this possible? A player losing his life in a «Safe Zone»… it was unthinkable! «Sword Art Online» did not support this in its code, he was sure of it! His thoughts raced as Kirito considered the possible ways that a «Player» could die outside of a «Safe Zone», and whether it could be applied to this situation… oh! There was a way for someone to die in a «Safe Zone»! His head snapped up and he stood to address the stunned crowd.
"Quick! Does anybody see a «Duel Victory» message somewhere?!" There was a moment's pause before everyone in the plaza exploded into action to find the offending message window. But it was obvious to Kirito that the crowd was searching in the wrong manner. The simple fact that the message window was not already visible meant that the «Duel» was not initiated in the plaza in plain view, but rather in… one of the scores of buildings surrounding the plaza. There were too many doors to check, and no one had thought of doing so yet!
There was scarcely half a minute before the message window would automatically close. That wasn't enough time for them to search all the buildings, even if Kirito could somehow direct the crowd scurrying around the plaza. There had to be a more efficient way to locate the victory message.
A window appeared in the corner of his «HUD», which he quickly swiped away in annoyance. Now was not the time to be distracted by notifications of… of… Kirito's eyes widened in shocked realization.
He quickly pulled up his menu. That skill… that «Skill»… it was practically made for this situation! Wasn't there an archive of all the «Duels» somewhere in his menu, ever since he first obtained the «Duel Awareness» skill? Frantic fingers flicked through his «Chat History», and after a moment of aimless searching, he realized his oversight and filtered it for «System Messages». His eyes came to rest on a string of words in pale blue.
«18:42 – A duel between Franz and Nascha will begin in 60 seconds»
So their names were «Franz» and «Nascha»… He was pretty sure «Nascha» was a girl's name, so that must mean that the player that… went home… would have been «Franz». Unless it was one of those cases where a male originally created a female «Avatar»? It was not unheard of, and the option to change one's «Username» was only available for a short time after the start of the «Death Game». A grimace formed on Kirito's face. Sick bastard… at least Kayaba was fair enough to give those gender-crossed players a chance to fix their-
Wait.
Onyx eyes studied the message more carefully. Something was off.
«18:42 – A duel between Franz and… »
«A duel between Franz and Nascha… »
«… Franz and Nascha… »
«A duel between Franz and Nascha will begin in 60… »
«… between Franz and Nascha will begin… »
«… will begin… »
«… will begin… »
Meaning…
It hadn't ended yet.
Kirito's eyes flicked to the corner of his vision. It was «18:43».
A memory flashed to the forefront of his thoughts. The message window that he dismissed just a minute ago, calling it a distraction… he was reading the «System Message» for the wrong «Duel»!
An angry palm met his forehead as he furiously scrolled further down his «Chat History».
«18:39 – Exited to Marten»
«18:30 – Bonus +5% Agility for 1 hour from consuming Decat Wine»
«18:30 – Bonus +2% Strength for 2 hours from consuming Orker Salad»
«18:26 – Entered Orchards D'Lite»
«18:21 – Teleported to Floor 57, Marten»
«15:54 – The duel between Eugeo and Aaaa has completed. Victor: Eugeo»
«15:52 – A duel between Eugeo and Aaaa will begin in 60 seconds»
«14:14 – Bonus +1% HP Regeneration for 6 hours from being well-rested»
His fingers stopped drifting down the message log.
15:54… that was far too long ago, most likely while he was sitting guard over Asuna's sleeping form on «Floor 59». But then… if it wasn't a «Duel», then…
Someone had figured out a way to «PK» in a «Safe Zone».
Kirito shivered at the foreboding sensation creeping down his spine. This perfect day of splendid weather was turning out to be not so perfect after all. And the most irritating thing about it, that one thing that violated the «Pride of the Gamer» in him was…
"Who the hell names their avatar «Aaaa» anyway?!" he shouted towards the sky.
…
Several «Floors» away, Silica whirled around as she heard a sneeze from somewhere behind her. After a few moments of confusion, she turned away from the window in favor of paying more tensions to her «Tineberry Cheesecake». She blinked. She could have sworn that Her Precious cheesecake was a delicate baby pink just a few seconds earlier.
Suddenly, the cheesecake shifted and gave an almighty belch, several shimmering bubbles spraying out of a feathered nostril and floating lazily to the ground. Her hands began to shake in fury.
"PINA!"
«Provoke»
«Active Skill: Speak "Duel [Player]", where [Player] is the username of the intended opponent. The opponent may not be further than 10 meters away»
«Allows the Wielder to send a duel request with a spoken word, rather than by manipulating the menu»
A squad of «Players» crept silently along the dungeon walls. If not for the dire situation, one of them would likely have laughed at the sight of heavily-armored tanks playing ninja.
But stealth was of the essence in this vital mission. This would be the only chance that the so-called "Clearers" would get to eliminate the most feared guild in «Aincrad» once and for all. On an unusually clammy day in August of the year 2024, «Laughing Coffin» would be eliminated, never to pose a threat to the people of «Aincrad» any longer.
None of the Clearers present would walk away from the imminent battle unscathed. The guilt of failing to protect their party-mates as they were felled by, not computer-generated «Mobs» or «NPCs» as was the norm, but actual humans – or alternatively, the self-loathing that inevitably came of ending another human's life, even if it was to protect their friends… Indeed, it should be no surprise that all of the Clearers present would ruthlessly suppress any memories linked to this cursed day. Though… for a certain black-haired swordsman, the nature of the trauma would be decidedly different from that of the other Clearers.
Kirito eyed the grim walls suspiciously as he deftly crept around a corner, double- and triple-checking for traps. He knew just how much planning had been devoted to this crusade, yet he still couldn't squash the doubts unfurling in his chest that this mission might be a total bust. The «Players» around him might have been the highest-leveled in «Aincrad», but would that be enough to subjugate «Laughing Coffin»? He was aware of the critical difference between the "Clearers", of which he was one, and the "Red Players" of «Laughing Coffin»: the ability to kill – no, the ability to murder. And that might be more than enough for «Laughing Coffin» to surmount the level gap.
A hand rose up in the front ranks. Immediately, all fell still. Several menus flashed into existence moments later, upon which fingers descended and began to fly across holographic keyboards suspended over thin air. Kirito's eyebrows furrowed. Something must have gone wrong in the plan. The menu displays may have been dimmed for this mission, but they still stood out prominently against the dark walls. For the leaders of this crusade to risk being seen at this position so far within «Laughing Coffin's» base… Kirito's fingers fidgeted around the hilt of the partner on his back, then simply settled on gripping it with all the force of a child hugging his teddy bear. It gave him the same sense of security, anyway.
Which was immediately broken as the awful sound of nails screeching down a chalkboard pierced through his ears for a split second – and then it was gone. The Black Swordsman whirled wildly around, searching for the source of the noise, only to notice that no one else had reacted. Rather, the two men next to him were staring at him apprehensively, as if afraid the hand curled around his sword would suddenly begin attacking them of its own accord. Kirito blinked once. Had they not heard anything? Was the pressure making him crack? Were those shadows moving along the wall just a hallucination, or… with a startled cry, he drew the «Elucidator», accidentally bopping someone over the head in his haste.
"BEHIND US!"
The first sound that could be heard after his echoes faded away was the shattering of glass. Then, chaos ensued.
Kirito could barely make sense of the battle as he ducked beneath a deathly green slash and returned the favor with a strike of his own. He wasn't stupid enough to try a «Sword Skill» like the one he just evaded in an encounter like this. He would have to rely on the overwhelming power of his strikes as the probably-highest-leveled «Player» in «Aincrad» to put his foes down. If «Laughing Coffin» thought it was safe enough for them to use «Sword Skills»… Kirito's thoughts had hardly passed through his mind before a sickening yellow edge nearly sliced his arm clean off, and then all conscious thought was abandoned.
Left, slide, stab, parry, another stab, jump, roll and then a strike at a critical spot… his body performed every action flawlessly even before his brain could register the action. It might have been that lag in his conscious thought that prevented him from acting sooner, or it might have been an elaborate ploy by several members of «Laughing Coffin», but with a sudden moment of clarity, Kirito realized that he had been separated from the rest of the Clearers. Three red cursors stalked closer from three directions. Three wicked weapons pointed at three critical points on his «Avatar».
"We've got you now, Black Swordsman!" the figure on the right cackled, his gaudy jewelry jangling in rhythm to his laughs. "Or should I say, Dead Swordsman?! Waha- WAHAHAHA!"
Three heads turned towards the speaker and three eyebrows rose, as if questioning the sanity of the individual.
Although, Kirito mused internally, that question might not be entirely unjustified. Then he yelped as he ducked underneath a swipe that would likely have beheaded him if he were a moment too slow. And with that, the battle resumed in earnest.
Sweat beaded on the young boy's forehead, only to instantly fly off his face from a desperate twist away from an incoming stab. Kirito quickly chained his momentum into a replica of the skill «Horizontal», awarding him a moment's satisfaction as an ugly red gash appeared through the dusty tunic of one assailant. That joy was immediately broken by a blade thrusting in from a blind spot, skewering into his thigh and causing him to stumble unexpectedly into his third opponent who had been readying a fatal blow, knocking them both into the floor.
Kirito cursed and hastily rolled off the downed attacker before he could be grappled. In the corner of his vision, something green abruptly shifted to yellow. In front of him, all three of his attackers still sported green health bars. It didn't help that one of them was giggling psychotically. He gritted his teeth in frustration.
These «PKers»… none of them are anywhere near my level, both according to the game and by skill… The talented swordsman winced at the sloppy swordplay his foes had presented. None of them would have survived a second on the frontlines. And yet… his thoughts paused as he seized an opportunity to deliver a critical strike, causing his first enemy to fall into the red zone. And yet, I still can't beat these bastards! In a kendo match I would have wiped the floor with them already, but instead, I-
A chance misstep on the uneven floor sent an axe-wielder wearing a shabby turban tumbling into his back, interrupting what would have been a decisive strike by the «Elucidator».
Damn it! Kirito raged in his mind. Not only is it three on one, but even the floor isn't helping! He shifted his sword to his side to parry a slash towards his flank, then hurriedly twisted around an overhead strike to deliver his own attack, though it was evident it would be a futile endeavor. His weapon pinged off the edge of the turban-clad man's large axe. Sooner or later, this battle is going to end, and it probably won't be in my favor-
«… a true master will never allow himself such unfavorable conditions… »
The boy blinked. Where did that line come from?
«… his control of the battlefield will insure his survival… »
Oh, right. The «Duel-Wielding» skill. He scoffed. As if the "Red Players" in front of him would peacefully sheathe their weapons and take out bags of popcorn as he challenged one of them to a friendly bout of swordsmanship. Or actually… Kirito's eyes narrowed as a plan took shape in his mind. Maybe I don't even need them to accept the duel in the first place.
He quickly chose his target. Thanks to Argo's information, he actually recognized one of his assailants, the very same one wearing the bright jewelry who had made the incredibly bad joke at the start of this 3v1 situation. Well, Kirito couldn't resist making a grin. Guess who the joke's on now?
The Black Swordsman dashed forward, dipping his blade just below the horizon to telegraph a heavy sideways cut coming in from his victim's left side. As expected, the unfortunate man made to block his flank, and Kirito immediately enacted his plan.
"Duel «PlayerDude»!"
«Player Kirito has challenged you to a duel. Accept?»
"What the f-"
Several voices simultaneously spoke as everyone's head turned towards the innocent window that popped up in front of the player with the turban. Kirito blinked. Wait, I thought «PlayerDude» was the other-
And then his blade removed his original target's torso from his legs.
"AARGGHHH!" Golden trinkets shattered against the ground around the fallen man before joining him in a spectacular lightshow of rainbow polygons.
Kirito froze. Damn it, he thought as his mind tried to rationalize the scene that had just unfolded. I got distracted by the «Duel Request» appearing in front of the wrong person and didn't time my swing correctly…! Even as the last twinkle of light danced away from his blade, he mourned the loss of what was likely several +3 magical accessories that must have each cost a fortune.
The young swordsman had no time to dwell on his crime as a horrific crimson thrust of cold steel sent his «HP» clear into the red. Kirito's eyes widened as he saw the turban-clad attacker switch in, a charged «Sword Skill» lighting his axe with a mystical orange shine. His brain quickly predicted its descent and realized that there was a decent chance that he could dodge it if he could just…!
"Duel «PlayerDude»!"
A message window cheerfully sprang into existence in front of «PlayerDude», obscuring his vision just enough for Kirito to roll out of the way under cover. He quickly began to chant the Two Words like a madman. Windows swarmed the hapless murderer even as he screamed in rage.
"GAHHH! I can't see!" The turban flopped dangerously on the «PKer's» head as he attempted to look around the floating «Duel Request» window, but his attempts were in vain as the window's position would refresh at each challenge that Kirito issued.
"Duel «PlayerDude» duel «PlayerDude» duel «PlayDude»«PlareDude»pleh-!"
A gap in the Black Mantra allowed the besieged assailant a moment's respite to successfully «Decline» the duel and take stock of the situation with unobstructed eyes. Though, perhaps "unobstructed" was the wrong word. Dazzling green orbs that many a woman would die to devour now drank in the «Elucidator» in all its glory before the lights went out permanently.
Kirito panted with harsh breaths as yet another «Player» – no, it would be unfair to describe such an axe-crazy fighter as that man as a mere «Player» – yet another «Dude» shattered before him. That's another powerful weapon lost by my actions… And yet it was almost as if the «Elucidator» was calling out for more blood. Even as the exhausted boy struggled to come to grips with his actions, the last of his assailants threw back his head in wild laughter.
"HAHAHA! Ahhhh~~! Delicious! Simply… exquisite! Yessss~, Kirito-chan~, you are exactly how I always imagined you to be!" The final fighter opened his arms grandly in what was presumably an inviting hug, but when observed in conjunction with the disturbing expression decorating his face, the sight was enough that even grown men would flee in stark terror. He brought the thin blade in his hands up to his flushed face and licked it with all the zeal of a child with an ice cream cone.
"More, Kirito-chan~ let me see more of your passion! The burning desire in those stormy eyes to prevail against the odds! The brutality of your lithe fingers that slayed your opponents with such finesse! Kirito-chan, show me the power in that delicate body of yours!" – at this point, the clearly unhinged «Red Player» giggled uncontrollably for a moment – "Kirito-chan, become mine!"
Kirito's right eye twitched. He was getting ticked off by the "-chan" that this weirdo kept sticking on to his name. Sure, he might have been described as rather feminine in appearance, but he was most definitely – no, he was defiantly a male. Kirito would defend that truism to his last breath, even against all claims to the contrary. Actually, honorifics should probably be the least of his concerns at the moment, if the gyrating pedophile in front of him was any indication of the situation. He raised his hand cautiously.
"Um, hey, «Red Player» guy…" The hooligan snapped to attention at Kirito's words. Kirito gulped at the intensity of his gaze that seemed to be able to bore into his eyes no differently from how it seemed the estoc in his hands itched to do so. "Uh, I just took out two of your friends, so maybe you could… you know, surrender," he finished lamely. "And I'm not a girl, so stop putting '-chan' at the end of my name," he added with more resolution.
The insane man gasped in shock. "Not a girl?" he muttered. "But that heart-shaped face, and those lush lips" – (Kirito gagged) – "no, I refuse to believe it!" The creep's words rose steadily in a crescendo until he climaxed. "I will prove it!"
"KIRITO-CHAN!" he ejaculated with spread arms, sword erect. "I WILL REVEAL YOUR PANTSU~!"
The man thrusted violently forward. His sword penetrated the space between the two combatants in a spray of light, shooting straight for Kirito's nether regions. Kirito backpedaled on instinct, and only an inch of higher ground prevented the long, hard shaft from splashing a creamy-white multi-hit «Sword Skill» all over his «Avatar». Though the desperate boy dodged the initial strike, the succeeding thrusts left him gasping with only a handful of «Hit Points» that he could still claim as his own.
The deranged «Red Player» halted his charge as he glanced at Kirito's nearly-empty «Health Bar». "No, no, that won't do at all!" he muttered to himself before nimbly manipulating his «Inventory» to materialize a pungent pink potion. Kirito's eyes widened in recognition. That's a paralysis potion! He's going to humiliate me first before he goes for the kill! He refused to acknowledge the more disturbing possibility of becoming the creep's pet.
Slathering the potion haphazardly over the tip of the estoc, the «PKer» turned to gaze at Kirito. "Some people call me «Xaxa»," he began to whisper. "But Kirito-chan~❤" – he leveled the estoc at approximately the height of his pelvis to point directly at Kirito – "Kirito-chan, when we're in private, I want you to cry out a different name, for soon I shall be known as…!" Xaxa suddenly reached his hands to his chest and tore his shirt apart, bearing a well-shaven chest and a pair of prominent points.
"DESU~ GUN! KyuUNN~~~! ❤❤!"
Kirito averted his eyes in horror, but it was too late! The overwhelming – cannot unsee – image remained burned within – cannot unsee! – his mind. The moment's distraction – CANNOT UNSEE! – was all that Xaxa needed to explode towards his prey. His left hand extended to grasp the pot of honey in front of him even as his estoc sailed forth in parallel, the sticky fluid of the paralysis potion dripping along its length.
"YOU'RE WIDE OPEN, KIRITO-CHANNN!"
Kirito wildly stumbled backwards in fear for his virginity, not caring that his voice cracked twice as he cried out in panic:
"D-D-DUEL XA-XA-XAXA!"
«Player Kirito ha-«YES»
«Countdown: 60, 59, 58…»
The «Duel Request» window had not even fully materialized before Xaxa's outstretched hand accidentally confirmed the request. And then the poisoned edge pierced into Kirito's «Avatar», only to ping off of a message window that kindly alerted the offender that "damage is prohibited during the opening of a duel."
The prone boy gaped in shock. It actually worked? It was several more seconds before he regained his senses enough to open his «Inventory» and retrieve a «Healing Crystal». He wouldn't be able to activate it during the «Duel», but it would be a simple matter to cancel the «Duel» preemptively and then activate the crystal. «Xaxa» howled in frustration as his near victory slipped away.
Kirito smiled in relief. I always thought it was odd that «Players» were completely invulnerable at the start of a «Duel», but I guess I shouldn't be complaining. Indeed, in the world of «Sword Art Online», «Players» could take damage only from their opponents during a «Duel». Of course, to prevent the obvious exploit, they would be unable to harm entities not participating as well. And finally, to prevent cheating, neither participant could attack each other until the countdown hit zero, which just so happened to serve Kirito very well in this instance.
The Black Swordsman adjusted his grip on his sword and the crystal in his hands as he opened his «Menu» to cancel the «Duel». «Xaxa» was still crying in agony, holding his head and raging about… undergarments. Suddenly, the first lieutenant of «Laughing Coffin» snapped towards Kirito in selfish fury.
"I WILL CLAIM YOUR PANTSU, KIRITO-CHAN!"
"Like I said, I'm a guy-" Kirito barely had time to speak before «Xaxa» blurred forward. Well, whatever, he thought to himself as he activated the crystal in his hand, causing his «Health Bar» to bounce upwards into a healthy green. In a one-on-one fight, I won't lose!
Author's Note:
If you haven't picked up on it already, the conception of this story was seeing the many cases of people writing fanfics who just don't realize when they confuse two similar-looking words. I'm not a very good writer myself (you may have noticed the curious brevity of my action scenes as well as the rather stunted dialogue), but that doesn't mean I can't nitpick at word usage! 😉
Now, a typo here and there is fine, but consistently wrong usage is a sure sign that the author doesn't know there's a problem. Sometimes it's a rare word, so it's forgivable, sometimes it's a "commonly-misspelled word," which are remarkably rare these days because there's so much publicity on them in modern English curriculums. And of course, sometimes the author is not a native English speaker. Unfortunately, many of these errors are never fixed for a very long time because (most) reviewers are too kind to correct the author, so the author never realizes that there's an error.
But even so, if you as an author must rely on a spell checker to correct a word you don't know how to spell off the top of your head… isn't that a huge flag that you should look it up in a dictionary? No, "my spell checker was evil" is not an excuse if you're trying to practice accurate writing (serious writers should not type on phones either).
Other times, the mistake is just so blatantly wrong that clearly the author didn't do research. Usually, this manifests as incorrect proper names for characters or places that everyone in the fandom knows (except the author, apparently). I think the most obvious case of stupid!author I've encountered in my two fandoms is "Private Drive" for the location of the Dursley household in the Harry Potter series. I would imagine the true name "Privet Drive" is mentioned at least once in every book since that's where each book begins. For movie-watchers only, "privet" is not pronounced like "private." Finally, "privet" is a far rarer word than "private." If the stupid!author was still unfamiliar with the name of the street, that's a clear sign that said author should check online and not hazard a spelling. Basically, any case of "Hmm, I think this is-" STOP! Do some research!
Honorable mentions go to Diagonal Ally and Ronald Wesley. For the SAO-verse, it would have to be Ordinary Scale. What can one do but facepalm at the sight of these atrocities?
Anyway, enough ranting. At the end of each chapter, I will compile a list of the common mistakes I see in fanfics that I tried to include in this chapter, some successfully, others probably cringe-worthy :/. For some odd reason, the final chapter (of three) has the majority of the eighteen I was able to use. Since I am pointing these out to you readers, I think it's only fair that you criticize my own word usage wherever it goes wrong :)
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Insure vs Ensure – Some sources say that insure can now mean ensure (in American English at least). I'm of the opinion that they sound so similar in conversation that people's brains made them overlap by accident, and thus this mistake has carried into writing. There are a few other word pairs with the same problem, but I can't recall them right now. Insure means… actually, I have a really hard time defining it concisely myself, even after looking it up in the dictionary. Ensure means to confirm something.
Decent vs Descent – A fairly rare mistake, as both are common words. Decent is good. It's also pronounced with an accent on the first syllable. Descent describes something going downwards, and the accent is on the second syllable. There's also likely a slight vowel difference for the second syllable depending on what kind of English you have.
Defiantly vs Definitely – Very common. I fail to understand how so many people prefer to swap the much rarer word "defiantly" for the desired word "definitely." Defiantly modifies an action to show that it is in opposition to some force. Definitely means that something is true.
Incidentally, I also used "pay tensions" instead of "pay attention" because I've always thought it sounded hilarious and so I wanted to include it somewhere. Nobody mixes these two up as far as I've seen.
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Fanfic Recommendation:
Halkegenia Online by zero0hero. The instigator of my fanfic. It is a very long story with a well-thought out plot and impressive world building. Despite what feels like forty-odd main characters, it actually is not too hard to follow – when I read this fanfic, I hadn't touched ZnT in five years, and yet I wasn't constantly forgetting characters. In other words, good job! But… it has by far the highest concentration of wrong-word substitutions I have ever seen... despite having a very good vocabulary at the same time. Thus I'm rather confused about the writer's background, though I would hazard that it's non-native yet fluent English.