A/N: I scared myself when I started to write this, because it's… gasp het! And Troika het at that! Anyway, it takes place during Dead Things, so it obviously contains spoilers for that episode.
She's dead. He can't wrap his head around it, but he can't stop thinking it. It's just pounding his head, reverberating around his skull. She's dead.
The first thing he does, the thing that makes him sick, is blame Andrew. There's just a lot of blood. Andrew didn't check her pulse, try to wake her up. If he tries hard enough, he can convince himself that Andrew's saying she's dead is what made it so. If he had just shaken her shoulder, she could just open her eyes and be beautiful again.
When it comes time to move her, the three of them stand there and stare at the body, in its new place at the foot of the stairs. He stares just a little bit harder than Jonathan and Andrew. Andrew is too traumatized to help, and Jonathan has reached some level of detachment and keeps calling her "the body". But he finds himself unable to do more than clench his fist around her stack of old clothes. They can't get rid of her in that, but changing her is too mind-bendingly strange to try for a while. He's seen her dress and undress. He's been inside her, for Christ's sake, but doing this to her, for her… it's different. Still, he drops to his knees
--get on your knees--
And shakes his head and goes for her dress zipper.
What are you doing?" Jonathan says.
"We have to. And you're not going to touch her," he says. Each item he takes off her is slammed onto the ground next to him until there's nothing left on her. He can feel Jonathan and Andrew staring at her, and he glances back at them. Andrew is slightly green. Jonathan is just pale. He picks up the outfit and shoes and throws it at them just so they'll stop staring.
"Burn that. I don't ever want to see it again," he says. He puts her real clothes on her as fast as he can because he thinks she must be cold, and then he remembers.
It takes them a few minutes to get out of the lair. Andrew can't help, because every time he touches her, he has to sit down and he starts to cry. He knows he could carry her easily by himself, but Jonathan won't let him. So they have to awkwardly maneuver her up the stairs together. Jonathan almost drops her feet once, and he almost punches him in the mouth because he can't hurt her.
They load her into the van and drive out to the cemetery. Jonathan helps him carry her to the foot of a hill and they all stand around her staring again.
She looks so beautiful it hurts, and he has to remind himself that it's not like it used to be. She isn't going to wake up and kiss him and find some reason why he's an asshole and forgive him and kiss him again. She's going to stay right there and never be beautiful for him again.
He kneels next to her and kisses her softly on the forehead.
"'Night, Trina."