Denial

Timeline Placement: Eh, Sonic's fifteen and Tails is eight. What more do you want?

Rating: K+ because someone almost says a bad word and stupidity.

Pairings: None

Warnings: Crackfic. Everybody's OOC! PARTY! Read at your own risk.

Notes: Don't ask where this came from. This thing is just me letting off some steam. Enjoy the insanity.

Disclaimer: All recognizable material belongs to SEGA. Everything else is mine.

The day that Sonic found out he had a brother was also the day that he declared himself clinically insane.

Really, he had just been minding his own business when the ball dropped. The TV had been on, tuned to a random movie on a random channel, and the hedgehog had been snoozing on the couch with his head propped on the arm rest and his feet hanging off the edge and back. Tails had been in the Workshop, blowing up stuff to his heart's content while Sonic napped.

The doorbell rang. It was a simple sound, one that Sonic didn't hear nearly as often as he should, but still pretty normal in the scheme of his megalomaniac-trying-to-kill-him-every-other-Thursday life. It woke him from his light doze and he rolled off of the couch and to his feet in a smooth move. He then padded to the door, mentally preparing himself for the worst.

Sonic and Tails didn't get visitors very often – half because they lived in the middle of nowhere in the Mystic Ruins and half because Sonic made damn well sure that his address wasn't listed on the public plane. However, every time they had someone on their doorstep, the visit usually wasn't warranted and they were more trouble than they were worth. Anyone that mattered didn't bother knocking or ringing the doorbell. All of Sonic's friends had a habit of just barging in at random times – or, in Knuckles' case, smashing in – and making themselves at home.

So, Sonic steeled his nerves as his gloved hand closed around the doorknob and, after counting to three, yanked it and opened the door. However, nothing could prepare him for what stood on the other side of that thin wooden slab.

A hedgehog, completely identical to Sonic save for coloring, stood there on the step, his hands on his cocked hips and a smirk on his lips. He was a vibrant purple color, so bright that he seemed to glitter in the waning sunlight, and his eyes were an aqua blue that shimmered like the ocean. Sonic took one look at him and promptly slammed the door on his surprised face.

The doorbell rang again seconds later.

Sonic stared at the door with a flat face, trying to figure out if he was dreaming or imagining things or high off of something, and he eventually decided that karma, life, fate, and every other horrible force in the universe felt like making his life a living hell today; they might have even made bets on how quickly he would go insane this time.

"Who's at the door, Sonic?" Tails' voice filtered from the kitchen and the fox appeared seconds later, covered in dirt and grease.

"Not who – what." Sonic's tone was serious, and his ear flicked irritably when the bell came again. "We might have to kill it."

Tails took in the hedgehog's flared quills and fur, his clenched hands, and his flat expression before shaking his head and scooting in front of his friend so he could open the door. However, seconds later, he gave a repeat of Sonic's performance, except with the added bonus of a supplemental squeak of fear. "Get the baseball bat," he choked out as the door was once again slammed in the stranger's face.

"Uh, is this the home of Sonic the Hedgehog?" a raised voice from outside called and the two brothers shared a terrified glance. "I have some urgent business to discuss with him…"

Sonic and Tails stared wide eyed at each other before the fox made a hurried motion for the blue one to do something. Sonic's face fell into a helplessly lost expression and he glanced every way except toward the door as he muttered, "What's the password?"

Tails' mouth dropped open as a scoff escaped his throat. What's the password?! he mouthed toward his friend, waving his hands in a flurry of angry gestures. Sonic shot him a suffering look. I panicked, he replied soundlessly.

"I'm his brother?" the voice came again, this time sounding almost exactly like Sonic.

The hedgehog opened the door, looked the other in the face, declared, "No," and shut it once again. In the background, Tails facevaulted.

"No?" Tails and the visitor asked at the same time, one with an incredulous tone and the other sounding plain confused.

"No," Sonic asserted, crossing his arms.

"But—"

"No, nope, thumbs down, veto, stop, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars. There's no such thing as Sonic the Hedgehog's Brother."

There was a choking sound from outside as the stranger tried to come up with a feasible response. Meanwhile, Tails sent Sonic a hurt look.

"I thought I was your brother…"

"You are not a purple hedgehog who looks like me."

"Can I please come in? I traveled a long way to get here and I could use some water…"

"Look Sonic, he even has your habitual need to make people to feel guilty."

"I do not—!"

"I'm reeeeaaally parched."

"You know what?!" Sonic threw his hands up before yanking the door open. "You shut up." He shoved a finger in the other hedgehog's face. "And you, little bro," he spun around to look at Tails, his hands on his hips, "have fun with this mirror from hell. I'm going back to sleep." The speedster then turned on his heel and stalked away, mumbling under his breath, "maybe this is all just a horrible dream…"

o0o

Two hours later, Sonic trudged into the kitchen, disheveled and half-asleep. He made a beeline for the refrigerator where he happily extracted a can of Chaos Cola from its cold depths. Popping the top and taking a huge swig, he turned toward the table.

And promptly choked.

"Hey Sonic," Tails chirped, his face pulled into a smirk so wide, it threatened to split his head in half, "did you have a good nap?"

"I think I'm still dreaming…" The hedgehog staggered backward until he was leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen. He carefully placed his drink down to resist the urge to drown himself in it. "What's he still doing here?"

"He has a name, Sonic."

"It's all right Tails," the purple hedgehog across the table smiled at Sonic, his eyes filled to the brim with understanding. Sonic wanted to hit him. "My brother is still in shock from the news."

"Do you want to keep your tail where it is?" Sonic bit out through his teeth, trying and failing to ignore the indulgent tone the other used.

"Uh, yes…?"

"Then don't call me that again."

There was silence for three beats before the newcomer rose from the table and took a few steps toward Sonic. The blue hedgehog, to his credit, tried his hardest to hide the fact that he was attempting to escape through the island, but his attempt was unsuccessful and was forced to face his demons with a blank face.

"I'm Sonar." Sonic stared down at the offered gloved hand. His eyes followed the tan limb up to a purple head and he quirked an eyebrow.

"I can't tell if you're serious or not."

Sonar looked confused and he sent a look over his shoulder at Tails, who was too busy holding back his laughter to breathe, let alone speak. He simply flapped a hand at the hedgehog, the universal sign to try again.

"My name is Sonar."

Sonic stared at him for a few seconds, surveying his face. "Sticking with that. Okay." He turned and jumped over the island, landing easily on the other side before darting over to the table and taking the seat the purple one had just evacuated. "What do you want, Sonar?"

The visiting mobian stared at Sonic, slack-jawed, before shaking his head to dislodge his shock. "Um, I'm here to bring you home… Our mother is very worried about yo—"

Tails cracked up again, and Sonic had to speak up to be heard over his peals. "Let's pretend for a minute that I'm not your brother, all right? Are you here for any other reason?"

"Uh… I guess not. But, you are my brother."

"No. No I'm not. I don't have any family."

"That's because you've been lost!" Suddenly, Sonar's eyes lit up and he rushed to the table to stand in front of Sonic, his hands clasped under his chin. "You were stolen from us when we were just children! I've been scouring the world for you for the past ten years! And I've finally found you! Our kingdom will rejoice when you return!"

Tails gagged on his laughter and he broke off into a coughing fit, his eyes wide. Sonic stared at his wanna-be-brother, his expression flat. However, neither offered a response, so Sonar decided to just keep going, since he had their attention.

"You're a prince, Sonic! Prince of the Mermobians in the Westside Sea!"

Tails fell out of his seat, gasping for air as he laughed so hard, no sound came out. Sonic could only stare at the violet mobian with wide green eyes, his mouth opening and closing like a… fish.

"Excuse me?" he gasped once he had his vocal chords and face back under control. "Mer-what?"

"Mermobians! The people that live under the water, with the sea life and tails instead of feet! Haven't you ever heard the siren song of the sea and had the uncontrollable urge to join it? Have you never heard us calling you home? Has your blood never wished for the feeling of the waves crashing over your body?"

"Sonic – he… he…" Tails wheezed, propping himself up on one elbow, the other arm stretched across his belly to comfort the pain of laughing, "Sonic can't swim!" This fact alone set off another round of giggles and he smacked back into the ground, his whole body quivering.

"What?!" Sonar gasped, not noticing as Sonic sunk down his seat, disappearing under the table. "How can a prince of Mermobius not swim?!"

"Because this prince of Mercraziness sinks like a rock and needs air." Sonic's miserable voice snaked its way out from under the table and Sonar knelt down so he could see him. The hedgehog was curled up, his head hidden by his arms and his quills flared outward. He was slowly inching his way away from Sonar with his feet, sliding along the ground like a beached fish.

"Sonic! Sonic!" Tails crawled over to his friend and halted his snail-like retreat by placing a hand on his shoulder. "Just think! You'll fit right in! Your fur will be the perfect camouflage!"

"Actually, the ocean isn't blue. It's clear, so he will stand out just like he does here." Sonar's voice was perfectly happy and Sonic whimpered.

"There's no place like home. There's no place like home."

"Too right brother. Let's go see if I can coax your tail out so we can go home!" The merhog wrapped a hand around Sonic's bicep to lead him out the door. "Luckily, your house is right next to the ocean!"

"What? No! Nononononononooooo!" Sonic tried to squirm free, but Sonar was stronger than he looked and he managed to drag Sonic from under the table and halfway toward the door before the blue hedgehog remembered that his feet still worked. He darted away, the suddenness of his speed breaking the purple mobian's hold. He was across the room in seconds, hiding behind the only thing available – a curtain. "I do not swim!"

"Of course you don't! You haven't had the chance to really swim since we were kids!"

"I'm not half fish!" Sonic's voice was desperate and he inched even further behind the curtain. "I'm just a blue hedgehog who can reach supersonic speeds at a light jog!"

"And why do you think you can do that?" Sonar appeared next to him without warning and Sonic yelped, bolting toward the front door. However, one jiggle of the knob revealed that it was locked and he scrambled with the deadbolt, his shaking hands hindering his ability to turn it. "Your speed is a byproduct of your royal heritage. In fact, I'm the Fastest Thing in the Seven Seas!"

The lock clicked open and Sonic grinned. "Yeah? Well, I'm the Fastest Thing Alive!" With that, he shoved the door open and was gone in a streak of blue.

o0o

When Sonic stumbled back hours later, it was dark. He poked his head in the door, caught sight of Tails watching TV, and soundlessly zipped to the couch. He crouched behind it and peeped over the back, reaching out and tapping Tails on the shoulder when the coast seemed clear.

Tails screamed and whipped around, nearly clocking Sonic into next week with his arm. The hedgehog danced backwards out of flail range, holding his hands up in self defense. "Sonic! What're you doing, sneaking up on me?! What's wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with me?! What's wrong with you?! Mister Giggles! Some friend you are, letting me deal with that idiot by myself earlier!"

Tails stared at him for three beats before his face cracked into a smile, a few chuckles escaping him. Sonic's features dropped into a blank, stony expression. "I'm sorry! I can't take you seriously when you say 'Mister Giggles'. And I'm sorry about Sonar, but c'mon dude. You have to admit it was pretty funny."

"I never admit anything, Tails. I'm assuming he left."

"Yup." The fox nodded. "I convinced him that you love to run across the surface of the water because it reminds you of home and he went to look for you. Last I saw, he had jumped off the cliff side."

"Good riddance." Sonic scoffed. "It's getting late. We should probably go to bed."

"But—"

Sonic pointed at the stairs, his patented Big Brother Stare firmly on his face.

"Fine."

o0o

Sonic woke when water splashed over his face.

He bolted up, not really sure what he was doing, and froze when the bed rocked. Green eyes were slowly opened and were awarded with the sight of dark, moving something under the bed. The emerald orbs widened, threatening to pop out of their sockets, and Sonic reached an ungloved hand over the side.

The water stung when he touched it and he jerked back, cradling his hand to his chest. Socked feet scrambled to push the hedgehog to the center of the mattress and he squeaked in alarm as his quick movements tipped the floating thing a bit and water sloshed over the side.

"Welcome home, Brother!" An annoyingly familiar voice greeted, its owner appearing seconds later. Sonar floated up from under the water and placed his elbows on the bed, tilting the whole thing toward him.

"Go away!" Sonic shrieked in an unherolike manner, trying and failing to get further away from the creeping water. "Where am I?!"

"The ocean! C'mon, it's only a short swim to the castle!"

The hero of Mobius made an unintelligible sound.

With ease, the purple one pulled himself onto Sonic's floating fortress, his purple, scaly, merhog tail becoming visible. Sonic was too busy glaring and spitting out curses to care.

"How did you get me here?!"

"I and some of your loyal subjects carried your bed from your home. You are a very heavy sleeper."

"How'd you get past Tails' security system?!"

"My friend, Fins, disabled it. He's very smart."

"You… Your… Take me home!"

"I'm trying! Just get into the water and I'll show you."

"Okay, I'm going to speak slowly so you can understand. I'm not your brother. I'm not a merhog. I'm a hedgehog, from land. I can't swim. Take me back to the workshop."

"You're just delusional! Here, I'll show you!"

With only that as warning, Sonar launched himself at Sonic. Five seconds of struggle later, they tumbled into the water with a splash.

Pandemonium struck. Sonic immediately ignored every swimming lesson he had ever had (see: one-fourth of a lesson) and panicked, throwing his arms out and splashing uncontrollably in an attempt to keep his head above water. Unfortunately, his rock-like physique kicked in and he immediately started to sink, flailing his way to a watery grave.

Until, that is, there was a splash above him and he felt a pair of fuzzy arms wrap around his midsection. He was yanked upward and his head broke the surface precious seconds later. He gasped, immediately relaxing into the arms of his savior, and he kicked his legs helpfully as he felt the other start to doggy paddle toward the bed.

The speedster scrambled back onto his makeshift raft and he turned to see a golden form bobbing up and down, looking grim. "Tails?"

The fox didn't answer right away, instead holding a hand out so the hedgehog could pull him onto the bed. When he was properly situated next to his best friend, he sighed. "Not every day you get kidnapped by merpeople, huh?"

"Haha," Sonic deadpanned.

"Alarm woke me when it wasn't properly reset after fifteen minutes. Realized pretty quick you were gone. Flew the Tornado out here and had to jump out when I saw you go under. Plane's heading back to the house."

"Well great. How far out are we?"

"About half a mile. The tide should push us back. It'll take a while though."

"Why aren't you a merhog?!" Sonar's voice once again preceded his arrival and Sonic groaned when he appeared at the right side of the bed. "You should have transformed as soon as you touched the water!"

"You," was all Sonic could say, pointing a finger at him. There were no other words, no greater insult in that moment than 'You.' He moved as if to attack the half-fish, but Tails laid a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. This wasn't the time, and definitely not the place. "You're lucky my real brother has good instincts, or I'd be haunting you right now."

Tails puffed up with pride at the complement and he smirked at Sonar. "Sonic's not your prince."

"But, but, he looks just like me! And he's a hero too!"

"Yeah, but—"

Whatever Tails was going to say was cut off by a bright flash of light. Shadow appeared in the air above the water with his arms crossed, a grim look on his face.

"Faker, G.U.N. wants to debrief you about Eggman's latest atta— Where are we?!"

"Ocean," Sonic and Tails answered together, their voices flatter than a tone-deaf choir.

Shadow floated down so he was sitting at the edge of the bed. He leaned over, looking deep into the water. Sonic, having had his fair share of embarrassment for the night, made a split second decision to share that with the Ultimate Lifeform. With barely a thought, he shoved his socked foot into Shadow's back, upsetting his balance and knocking him into the water.

Another bright flash of light, this one with the searing power of magic behind it, blinded everyone present. Shadow floated out of the sea in a giant bubble, his form surrounded by stormy bands of mist. His eyes were wide and he looked like he was yelling something very unpleasant. Sonic and Tails had identical faces of shock while Sonar looked awed. The mist danced up his body, covering him completely and the bubble popped seconds later, dropping the black creature back into the salt water.

He surfaced seconds later, rocketing out of the sea with an unnatural force. A black streak rocketed toward Sonic, but the hedgehog managed to roll down the bed, dodging his attack. The artificial creation landed in a heap on the mattress.

Silence for an immeasurable amount of time before Tails finally gathered to courage to say what they were all thinking.

"Uh, Shadow, you have a tail."

The addressed bristled. "Of course I have a tail! I'm a hedge— oh." He managed to right himself and looked down at where his legs used to be.

"A pink tail!" Sonic yelled happily, falling on his side as a few laughs bubbled up from his stomach. "You're a mermaid, Shadow!"

"That's the Ultimate Mermaid to you!" Tails replied before Shadow could open his mouth.

"What the fu—?!"

"This is great! You must be my long lost bother! Oh, Mother will be so pleased! C'mon! I have to take you home!"

"What?! No! Get your hands off me!" Sonar had latched onto Shadow's arm and was tugging him into the water. The Ultimate Mermaid was putting up a considerable fight, but he couldn't get any leverage without his legs and he eventually lost the battle. He disappeared under the water and never came back up.

"Thank you so much, Sonic the Hedgehog, for bringing my brother back to us!" Sonar smiled at them, his eyes huge. "How can I ever repay you?"

"Uh, you might want to make sure to have Shadow back on land by the end of the week… G.U.N. will probably throw a fit if he goes missing any longer."

"All right. I realize that he is a creature of both worlds. Is there anything else?"

Sonic glanced at Tails. "Um, no. I think we're good here."

"Well then I shall bid you adieu. Thank you once again."

Then, he was gone.

Sonic settled back against the headrest next to Tails. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Tails eventually spoke.

"You know, you probably should have asked him to push us to shore…"

"And miss the sunrise?" Sonic pointed to the east, where the beginnings of a beautiful morning were forming. "No sir."

More stillness between the two. As one, they watched the horizon brighten, and Sonic eventually threw an arm over Tails' shoulders, pulling him in to give him a noogie.

"You're the only family I need."

"Yeah! Yeah!" Tails tried to squirm out of the hedgehog's hold, to no avail. "Ditto! Let go!"

"First, we have to promise to never speak of this day again."

Tails cut his eyes up to Sonic's face. "What day?"

"Exactly."

Fin.

End fell flat. Oh well, no regrets!

Not my best writing, but reviews are cherished as always.